omegaseamaster75

Because it is not doctrine.....it is one persons opinion a suggestion.....

You are correct, I misread...

Handbook 2.....looks like I'll wear my pink shirts and bow ties with impunity.

Not wearing or refusing to wear a white shirt is rebelling against the church/authorities of the church?

I would hardly call a conference talk authoritative evidence

I agree religion is not the issue here, the guy is a dirt bag and he took advantage of the OP

This may have been covered, but I am looking for some enlightenment. There seems to be a "white shirt" culture in our church. I went on a mission and I get it as a missionary you need to represent the church in a way that has been outlined and that you have agreed to do. I got home from my mission and threw out all of my white shirts swearing to never wear one again. Now I do own 1 white shirt and I have worn it, but it is for temple use only. I never wear a white shirt on Sunday, never. There was a talk a few weeks ago given by our ex-bishop. he stated that if white shirts were good enough for the general authorities he would wear on until they told him not to. The basic implication being that it was a requirement of sorts. In a light hearted discussion with the 2nd counsler I said I would never wear a white shirt unless a general authority told me my membership was in jeopardy if i didn't. He said and I quote "That's fine but if your passing the sacrament or are in the bishopric it's not really an option" I let it go and changed the subject because I know that he is wrong. It wasn't the time or place to challenge him on it. So the question is were did this white shirt only thought process come from?

You are in fact correct your marriage license only has your 2 names on it, but your last statement is the give away. They are an issue in your life and not in a good way. The OP made a decision to get married knowing the attitude of her future in-laws towards her and her kids. You can say its not but its a package deal.

Your whining. Sorry. I will not deny the social aspect of going to church, it is probably the single biggest reason that people go to church and also the single biggest reason people go inactive or decide that the church isn't for them. I have very few friends that are members, I do not actively socialize often with church members, I have a life and friends outside of those circles...... The church is either true or it isn't. I know that it's true as a consequence I attend all my meetings and participate friends or no friends.

You marry the inlaws, you can say you don't but the family is a package deal unless you have 0.0% contact with them. You say and I quote "Tough row to hoe" implies that it has and continues to be an issue in your life.

your first obligation is to your kids not someone who is not related to you...aka your husband. Yeah you call off a wedding for that without a question or doubt you call it off......Why do people think that if they are engaged they are obligated to see it through? His parent were jerks before you married into the mess and they are jerks now that's not going to change, but they are still his parents unless your husband is willing to never have contact with them, no X-mas, no holidays, no special events, and keep in mind he has natural born kids that ARE related to them your suck. You made this bed now do you want to be comfortable in it or not? Apologize. I know you will feel like I am jumping all over you, and I guess that I kind of am but I think that you need to look back the decision making process that led up to this mess and accept some responsibility

You expect him to do something knowing the kind of person he is that's how I come to that conclusion. He wants to contribute nothing does not want to participate and you "expect" him to be someone he is not? He will not change who he is or his attitude towards his daughter. I realize that you are probably "saving" her from a terrible life (that's a subject for another thread) but expecting something different out of her father is unreasonable. My statement of being able to afford this on your own stands and it is not immature to pay your own way. Some would argue that to have your hand out with expectations is...... I don't want to argue or have contention this is simply one persons opinion and maybe a wrong and misinformed one. This is the internet after all I wouldn't take anything I say to seriously...

Your right if Christ were in the meeting no one would walk out

You forgot c. Don't marry into this family (unlikely I know) but still an option

How did you think they would treat you before you got married? They do see you as temporary, and will never treat you or your kids like "family" I am sure in their hearts they did not want their son to marry someone with kids from a prior marriage. This is to be expected in these types of marriages you will always be second best. Now if you want to preserve a relationship with them first accept your place. Understand that neither you or your children will have a true "family" relationship with them, your kids aren't even related to them. Second suck it up and apologize just like Anatess said it does not matter who was at fault. Third is the same as the first accept your place in their lives and lower your expectations.

I don't want to side track this thread, but no one is perfect and everyone has "issues" I personally would not marry someone with the problems that the OP has outlined. I live my life so that I do not have these kinds of family issues. Regarding the OP's last post about tradition and the father chipping in or paying. The OP should not be getting married if this is his attitude, or if he is going to hold a grudge towards his father in-law because of it. Not one wedding photo? that's pretty small and petty. Suck it up and pay for it yourself if those aspects of the wedding are important to you, otherwise not another word about it.

No Agenda? find your executive secretary take him out back and rough him up a little bit. He is responsible for the agenda. I see that you ended up quitting because of it.. Good for you.

Don't marry her....run ....fast and far

He is who he is your future wife grew up with him and there will be residual affects from growing up in that environment. I would say at best emotional abuse from her father and who knows what lies beneath the surface. Your not just marrying her you are marrying her family. Don't do it.

Ted, As a young married couple you shouldn't have many problems. I don't know how religious you are but LDS are much more liberal with regards to birth control and abortion. We do not believe in the trinity as Catholics do. We have a different view point on marriage and the finality of it. I am sure I am missing things that others can comment on. Some things to consider going forward if you have kids and this is were the issues will arise will your child be catholic or LDS? If LDS expect your wife to want to bless the child about one month after birth No baptism until age 8 heavy involvement in young mens/ scouting or young womans activities during teenage years A mormon mission at age 18...this will cost you 10k My advise convert to LDS dive in and accept and live the principles or find a nice catholic girl. Your going to do whatever you want anyways, but marriage is difficult enough without throwing conflicting religious beliefs in the way. Ask your priest he will tell you not to marry outside of your religion.

Try to go to church, wait until your 18 then you can join.

They are asked not to deviate because the bishop often will not be conducting the temple recommend interview, often renewal interviews are conducted by his counselors. If you need clarification about tithing or the WOW you should not be sitting for a temple recommend interview

I have made this several times.....always a big hit http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/anne-burrell/beef-bourguignon-recipe.html

Call his executive secretary and set up an appointment. He has plenty of people bugging him just before sacrament.

The last thing you should be thinking about is money. I think that it is great that you were able to save almost half of what a mission costs. That you had to use it for your moms cancer treatment shouldn't bother you at all. There is a church missionary fund and the ward missionary fund. ANYONE who wants to serve will be able to. I served in Mexico and all of my companions were from Mexico. I do not want to generalize but "my" companions came from very humble situations and were still able to serve. Talk to your bishop don't delay your mission by even one day.