Gher2154

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Everything posted by Gher2154

  1. I just turned in my mission papers and I am anxiously waiting for my call. It’s been a dream of me to serve the Lord but there is one problem in the way. I’ve been dating a beautiful, loving girl in the same faith with me, but she kept something from me. Five months after have been dating, she confessed something to me and I feel stupid for not noticing, or maybe she is just good at hiding it. Well two weeks before she conceived her child, she confessed to me that she was pregnant and expecting. She didn’t tell me this because she thought I would leave her, and I finally gained her trust so she told me. Fortunately I stayed, because I did not want to leave her. Well we named the child Mahonri, as the biblical name of the brother of Jared, and I took him as my own, even though I am not the biological parent. During the time in her hospital, I helped pay expenses since I had a very good job, and I grew to love the adorable thing. I helped take care of it while she went to work, I even begged to keep the little thing over the weekends. The feeling of having Mahonri with me was amazing. But I also want to serve a mission, and I know that it is my obligation. Mahonri is now three months old, but I don’t know if the saying “You can’t go on a mission anymore if you have [broken the law of chastity] and have a baby since you have a family now” still applies to me. I’ve asked for parental advice, but they tell me my obligation is the mission. I want to go, but I can’t leave my girlfriend and her child! I’m too scared to ask church leaders for they will think I am lying and that Mahonri is my biological child. I’m just really torn. The mission, or the family I could have?
  2. I've been masturbating and been watching pornography for the past 5 years of my life. It's been horrible and hard to stop and I've talk to my bishop so many times! Well, my old bishop was retired from it and now I have another bishop. It's been embarrassing going Sunday after Sunday with interviews with my bishop and not being able to partake of the sacrament for ages, and I literally mean it. I don't remember the last time I took it, or the last time I went to the temple! I feel like an outcast at church, and I feel ashamed when people have been asking me when will I serve or bless the sacrament. The guilt never has left, and I stop for days, weeks, or some few months and then go back. I'm 17 and I started when I was 12, and I want to serve a mission bad!!! I've looked for advice, I've prayed, but now I need physical help as well as spiritual. If anyone wants to give me advice or knows of a program to help cop please reply! I am desperate to be worthy again, and I miss that blissful feeling of being clean and pure of heart. I pay my tithing, I attend church services and worship my God, but I believe there is more to stop this sin. Please help....