Mangomaster100

Hi @ bing004. First, you should know I struggle with more or less the same problem as you (except I'm a man). I am attracted to women, but I struggled with same-sex attraction before I was married and my wife knew it beforehand. After some time of marriage the feelings have resurfaced in full force. First off, I don't think it is fair for some people to say that this is the exact same thing as a heterosexual and married person being attracted to woman other than his wife (or in your case, men other than your husband). I do still find women attractive and have to mediate my thoughts and desires. However, I have a much more difficult time doing so in the case of men. Is it because I'm not satiating sexual desires for men? Is it because no one ever told me to not look at men that way because they assumed I wouldn't, and now I don't have the same mental fortitude? I don't know. There are a lot of things regarding this that I don't know, and other people (especially those not in your shoes) are a lot less likely to know than you are. But what you are asking for is advice on how to deal with what your struggling with, not instruction on what you are struggling with. On that point, I haven't found a perfect solution. Quality time with my spouse, as you stated, helps A LOT. Also finding healthy methods of dealing with stress (I have the exact same struggle with stress making me think about these things that your do, btw). As a person with experience in the field of mental health, I can tell you that your counselor will help you there. As far as your spouse's feelings are concerned, that is one I've had trials with in my own life. Again, no sure answer. I have found that not dwelling on the issue helps, as they are less likely to stew on thoughts of insecurity. Don't hide from it, but don't make it define your your relationship. Focus on things that you love about them, and then let them know! Affection shouldn't always be physical. Also, find a healthy outlet for your desires. Your bishop is a very safe source of comfort, so long as they are understanding. I know how hard it is to feel alienated with this sort of thing. A close family member may also be a safe outlet, and you can always trust that they care about you and will not do anything with your secret against your wishes. Last but not least, God is your closest friend. Do not hesitate to confide in him, and he will strengthen you. God Bless