askandanswer

I'm very happy for you Kimberley, I'm sure that was a wonderful, moving experience, and I'm guessing you have never had that kind of experience before. My guess is that what you were feeling was the fruit of the spirit as described in the New Testament, in Galatians 5:22: 22  "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith" I believe that what you felt was a spiritual experience, with the Spirit communicating with your spirit, telling you that what you heard from the missionaries, and read from the Book of Mormon is true. I really hope things go well for you at Sunday, and that you feel comfortable and at home in the church meetings you attend.  

Redefinitions can be extremely helpful. If you simply redefine everything that you now call "clutter" as "useful stuff" you won't have to do a thing. And if that doesn't work, redefine it as REALLY useful stuff. And if even that fails, you can always work on lifting your tolerance levels for clutter and thereby enjoy your Summer more. 

Best dang sentence in the whole article.  
For two decades, I've immersed myself in LDS apologetics.  I've learned the criticisms and the responses.  I've encountered arguments and videos critical of my church and faith, and I've discovered the responses.  From what I can tell, it's a little different with Scientology.
Standard cycle of LDS apologetics:
Criticism: You mormons believe X!
Response: Yes we do, and here's why/No we don't, here's what we belive.
Standard cycle of Scientology apologetics:
Criticism: Here's a video we took from the other side of the street across from the Scientology building.  You can see how they send their thugs out to intimidate us.  
Response: Lawsuit, stalking, attempts at intimidation, attempts to attack the character of the critic.
If you go to YouTube and search "Scientology thugs", you see critics picking fights and finding them.  You see Scientologists bringing angry confrontation, threats, violating rights, committing assault, stalking, blocking public streets, being nasty.
If you search for "Mormon thugs", your results are starkly and humorously different.  
Go to lds.org and search for 'blacks and the priesthood' or 'polygamy' or 'mountain meadows massacre', and you get lots and lots of relevant, direct results. 
I went to scientology.org , and found zero results for 'xenu' or 'attack the attacker' or 'Lisa McPherson' - nothing.
Ask yourself what we teach and believe about former Mormons who are out being critical.  Then take a look at what Scientology says about former Scientologists who are out being critical: http://www.scientology.org/faq/scientology-attitudes-and-practices/what-is-a-suppressive-person.html
Think about what we teach and believe about how to react to family members who are critical of our faith or church.  Then take a look at what Scientology says: http://www.scientology.org/faq/scientology-attitudes-and-practices/what-is-disconnection.html
 
Yeah, there are some pretty stark differences from where I'm standing.  Glad to hear they do good charitable works though.

Me!  Ask me!!!

This paragraph:
"Mormon missionaries often teach that if you have questions about Mormonism, you should ask a Mormon. That makes sense. The same principle applies to most everything you might have questions about. If you want to know more about archaeology, talk to an archaeologist, if you want to know more about leadership, talk to a leader, and if you want to know more about Scientology, talk to a Scientologist."
Isn't exactly accurate in its implication. We do tend, as a people, to be somewhat defensive on this point since there is so much mis-information out there concerning Mormonism. And therefore we well understand that trying to learn about Mormonism by asking outside of it means that said misinformation is likely to be the result. That being said, the reality is that asking a Mormon about Mormonism is as likely as not to get your mis-information as well.
Regardless, my thought is this (please excuse the Reductio ad Hitlerum): if you wanted to learn the truth about Nazism would the best course really be to have asked an SS officer? Would you really expect to get truth from someone who has either bought into lies or embraced evil?
Clearly you would also want to ask Nazis as part of the research. But the idea that the best way to learn about a lying, evil organization is to ask them doesn't ring true. PLEASE NOTE: I'm not accusing Scientology of being a lying, evil organization. That may or may not be true. I'm simply pointing out that there is a possibility that this is true with any organization, and that puts the whole "the best way to learn about blah is to ask blah" into a state of being suspect.
For what it's worth, the best way to learn about truth is to go to the source of truth. If you really want to know about Mormonism the key is to ask God. This should be true of all things as God's truth is the only truth. The idea of asking a Mormon is not guidance based on "Mormons know their stuff and can fill you in on the details!" ideology (though some who make such a suggestion may think that is the case). Rather, it is based on the concept that asking a Mormon about Mormonism will ultimately lead to guidance to ask God about the truth of these things.
When you take God out of the mix, particularly in the case of religion, truth, and "knowledge", then you're pretty much doomed to deception.
My thoughts, for what it's worth, aren't meant as a criticism of the article or the idea of checking out a church to find out what they believe or the like. Just sharing a thought I had by way of discussion.

Thanks Zil

You could log in to https://tech.lds.org/forum/# and ask the developers there if anyone wants to take it on.  (The developers employed by the Church aren't generally there, but other developers are.)
ETA: your lds.org login will work.

I often listen to General Conference while working and travelling and find it to be a valuable experience. Something that would make it more valuable would be if there was an app that would enable me to listen by topic, ie, if I could choose a topic, and then the app would find and play all the recent General Conference talks on that topic. It would be even better if the app let me do the same thing with all of the Teachings of the Prophets lessons sorted by topic. Are there any app developers that would like to take up this challenge?

@MormonGator
Questions 345 - 352(ZZZ) xx are specifically designed to keep my kids out of Gator's harem. if the answer to 347(A) xviii is yes, then that's an immediate red flag, and a complete disqualification from ever having any chance of being a suitor, so no need to answer any further questions. Floridians of Filipino descent are still eligible, even though they live in Florida because they are Filipino and therefor better able to resist all the negatives that come with life in Florida.  

Getting back to the original question about finding a lady......
I live in a fairly isolated, very small stake. It's about 2 1/2 hours drive from our stake centre to the neighbouring stake centre. We have 4 small wards based in our city of about 350,000, and one tiny branch, 3 hours drive away. There are about 50 people attending the branch, and its been almost the same 50 people for most of the last 15 years. I was down there once on a stake visit, and there had been 3 marriages there in the past 18 months, all to RMs. I asked the Branch President how it had happened. He said that one bride had been found through online dating, another had been "prayed" into the area, ie, she had moved into the area, probably partly as a result of the prayers of one of the RMs, and a third was a local girl that had been found, taught and baptised by the searching RM. I thought it was a remarkable outcome, given the size and isolation of that branch, and it all seemed to be powered by the faith and works of the RMs.
I don't think its an either/or decision. You can both complete your education and serve a mission. If you don't currently have a desire to serve a mission, perhaps you will have by the time you finish your education. And if you don't currently have a desire, exercise faith and humility and ask the Lord to bless you with a desire. You can help foster this desire by setting and keeping a goal to go out and help the missionaries in your ward one or two nights a month. I don't think that's a big thing to ask. After doing that for a year or so, and seeing how great is the work they are involved in, and asking the Lord to bless you with a desire, you just might start to have a desire to serve.
If you'd like to see the latest word of the Lord on this topic, I recommend you take a look at lds.org today. The First Presidency message, by President Monson, is entitled Called to the Work and is all about missionary work. https://www.lds.org/liahona/2017/06/called-to-the-work?cid=HP_TU_30-5-2017_dPFD_fLHNA_xLIDyL1-A_&lang=eng. As part of that message, President Monson says 
"As you serve, you will build rich eternal memories and friendships. I know of no field which produces a more bounteous harvest of happiness than the mission field."
Why deprive yourself off from what a prophet pf God has called a "bounteous harvest of happiness"?
ps
I can't resist adding the following: After 8 weeks in the MTC and 20 hours on three planes, my son finally arrived in the mission field about 9 hours ago.  He was part of the first group of missionaries to use the new MTC facilities. http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/provo-missionary-training-center-expansion?cid=HP_FR_2-6-2017_dPAD_fMNWS_xLIDyL2_

Getting back to the original question about finding a lady......
I live in a fairly isolated, very small stake. It's about 2 1/2 hours drive from our stake centre to the neighbouring stake centre. We have 4 small wards based in our city of about 350,000, and one tiny branch, 3 hours drive away. There are about 50 people attending the branch, and its been almost the same 50 people for most of the last 15 years. I was down there once on a stake visit, and there had been 3 marriages there in the past 18 months, all to RMs. I asked the Branch President how it had happened. He said that one bride had been found through online dating, another had been "prayed" into the area, ie, she had moved into the area, probably partly as a result of the prayers of one of the RMs, and a third was a local girl that had been found, taught and baptised by the searching RM. I thought it was a remarkable outcome, given the size and isolation of that branch, and it all seemed to be powered by the faith and works of the RMs.
I don't think its an either/or decision. You can both complete your education and serve a mission. If you don't currently have a desire to serve a mission, perhaps you will have by the time you finish your education. And if you don't currently have a desire, exercise faith and humility and ask the Lord to bless you with a desire. You can help foster this desire by setting and keeping a goal to go out and help the missionaries in your ward one or two nights a month. I don't think that's a big thing to ask. After doing that for a year or so, and seeing how great is the work they are involved in, and asking the Lord to bless you with a desire, you just might start to have a desire to serve.
If you'd like to see the latest word of the Lord on this topic, I recommend you take a look at lds.org today. The First Presidency message, by President Monson, is entitled Called to the Work and is all about missionary work. https://www.lds.org/liahona/2017/06/called-to-the-work?cid=HP_TU_30-5-2017_dPFD_fLHNA_xLIDyL1-A_&lang=eng. As part of that message, President Monson says 
"As you serve, you will build rich eternal memories and friendships. I know of no field which produces a more bounteous harvest of happiness than the mission field."
Why deprive yourself off from what a prophet pf God has called a "bounteous harvest of happiness"?
ps
I can't resist adding the following: After 8 weeks in the MTC and 20 hours on three planes, my son finally arrived in the mission field about 9 hours ago.  He was part of the first group of missionaries to use the new MTC facilities. http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/provo-missionary-training-center-expansion?cid=HP_FR_2-6-2017_dPAD_fMNWS_xLIDyL2_

Getting back to the original question about finding a lady......
I live in a fairly isolated, very small stake. It's about 2 1/2 hours drive from our stake centre to the neighbouring stake centre. We have 4 small wards based in our city of about 350,000, and one tiny branch, 3 hours drive away. There are about 50 people attending the branch, and its been almost the same 50 people for most of the last 15 years. I was down there once on a stake visit, and there had been 3 marriages there in the past 18 months, all to RMs. I asked the Branch President how it had happened. He said that one bride had been found through online dating, another had been "prayed" into the area, ie, she had moved into the area, probably partly as a result of the prayers of one of the RMs, and a third was a local girl that had been found, taught and baptised by the searching RM. I thought it was a remarkable outcome, given the size and isolation of that branch, and it all seemed to be powered by the faith and works of the RMs.
I don't think its an either/or decision. You can both complete your education and serve a mission. If you don't currently have a desire to serve a mission, perhaps you will have by the time you finish your education. And if you don't currently have a desire, exercise faith and humility and ask the Lord to bless you with a desire. You can help foster this desire by setting and keeping a goal to go out and help the missionaries in your ward one or two nights a month. I don't think that's a big thing to ask. After doing that for a year or so, and seeing how great is the work they are involved in, and asking the Lord to bless you with a desire, you just might start to have a desire to serve.
If you'd like to see the latest word of the Lord on this topic, I recommend you take a look at lds.org today. The First Presidency message, by President Monson, is entitled Called to the Work and is all about missionary work. https://www.lds.org/liahona/2017/06/called-to-the-work?cid=HP_TU_30-5-2017_dPFD_fLHNA_xLIDyL1-A_&lang=eng. As part of that message, President Monson says 
"As you serve, you will build rich eternal memories and friendships. I know of no field which produces a more bounteous harvest of happiness than the mission field."
Why deprive yourself off from what a prophet pf God has called a "bounteous harvest of happiness"?
ps
I can't resist adding the following: After 8 weeks in the MTC and 20 hours on three planes, my son finally arrived in the mission field about 9 hours ago.  He was part of the first group of missionaries to use the new MTC facilities. http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/provo-missionary-training-center-expansion?cid=HP_FR_2-6-2017_dPAD_fMNWS_xLIDyL2_

Yay families!  God's best way to challenge and refine His children.
So easy to give advice here.  It's always easier to give advice than take it myself, so be warned, I'll probably offer something that I'm not actually doing myself.  
- Separate the valid guilt from the inappropriate guilt.  The valid guilt means you did something wrong and you need to change something.  The other guilt is not to be allowed to have any power over you. 
- Dad gets away with expecting things, because of all the people who just give him what he wants.  That won't change until his age and condition catches up with him, or until you decide to stop being one of those people.  That probably means a huge massive family-splitting melodramatic painful bunch of drama, with everyone offering opinions and choosing sides and all, followed by you needing to actually stick with your guns and not cave.  After all that, you'll find people either accept the new reality and accept you, or they don't.  Your job would be to take a good hard look at kicking out a mentally ill sr. citizen, and then diving into my first advice.  If you are honoring your father, if he has a place to stay and is safe, if your precious wife is respected and agrees with your decision, then all the guilt should be the inappropriate kind only.  Then you go do it.  Livestream it to Facebook, and we'll log in and hit the like button.  
- Just doing what dad wants and letting him live the rest of his years with you, may be a perfectly valid decision.  But your wife's desires and opinions should take precedence here - she matters more than your father's desires and opinions.  When the two conflict, your wife needs to win. 

??? Why not go on a mission?
This I don't understand, someone who doesn't think they are going on a mission (maybe they aren't ready, don't want to sacrifice, believe it's not for them, etc.?) but yet they feel ready for marriage?
I've got news for you, if you don't think you can hack being a missionary, then what makes you think you can hack being married? 'Cuz I got news for you being married requires way more work, time, devotion, sacrifice, leadership than a mission could ever require.
A mission is prime training grounds for skills that are essential for marriage.
"Missionary service is a priesthood duty—an obligation the Lord expects of us who have been given so very much. Young men, I admonish you to prepare for service as a missionary." - President Monson

I´m so glad for all of your help and comments! well, something unexpected happened today. I was told someone was for me at the door and it was the people of the local Mormon church! (I had already on Mormon.org applied for a bible to learn more, but I assumed it would come in the mail) they were very nice, and asked me all sort of questions and why I had a interest in Mormon church and if I believed in god. Since it was very unexpected visit, and I was sa bit overwhelmed, I didn't have much time. so they asked me if they could come over to talk more some time, and I scheduled a appointment for this Friday. Im not sure what to expect from the conversation but I am looking forward to it very much! and willing to learn more. as I said before in my post, this is the first time I have felt a connection to any belief/religion. so it is really a big deal for me. Yes my two cents, that is a thing that really attracted me to Mormonism, cause yes there are many people that do research their family trees. but for me it was always a very deep and emotional almost spiritual experience. and that is a very beautiful song indeed thank you for sharing! also yes I am indeed dutch and from the Netherlands, we usually call our selves northern Europe but are sometimes also referred to as western Europe so I wasn't sure what term to use in English.

As a result of this discussion, the questionnaire that I plan on giving to anyone who dates any of my kids more than three times has now grown from 37 to 40 pages. I hope this discussion finishes soon.  

As a result of this discussion, the questionnaire that I plan on giving to anyone who dates any of my kids more than three times has now grown from 37 to 40 pages. I hope this discussion finishes soon.  

Suggest a phone conversation once you're in the US. If he's not willing to commit to that right now (and it doesn't sound to me like he would be), odds are he won't be willing to commit to anything more any time soon, while it seems like you are. People always get hurt when one is faster to commit to a relationship; you have to be equally yoked in that regard or you end up going in circles. It will hurt a lot less to keep him as a friendly memory than a one sided relationship. 

I agree with Godless - make no lasting decisions until either a) you actually meet, face to face, or b) it becomes certain that you are never likely to meet. I think its only after he's been in Idaho for about 6 weeks and you've been in Utah for about 6 weeks and you still don't have any firm plans to actually meet that you can start to consider the possibility that you will never meet. If things get to that point, I think the most useful thing to do is to spend at least half a day, maybe more, first thinking, and then writing, about the questions "what can I learn from this and how am I a better person because of having known him?"

President Monson's life, his apostleship, and his time as a prophet appears to me to revolve around James 1: 27, "Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world." I would say, adds second witness to this statement above.

If it’s true that we grow from our trials, and if its true that divorce constitutes some sort of trial for the children of a divorcing couple, then its reasonable to assume that the children of divorced parents have had opportunities for growth in ways that the children of undivorced parents have not. It’s not clear to me whether these opportunities for growth, when taken, will, or will not result in a net benefit after taking into account all of the negatives arising from the divorce, but I think its fair to assume that the greater the trial, the greater the opportunities for growth. (All dependent, of course, on what the people involved decide to do with those opportunities for growth)
I also think its inconsistent with the justice of God to allow harm to come to the innocent without there being some sort of compensatory blessings equal to or greater than the harm. I believe that if a child, through no fault of their own, has been harmed by the divorce of their parents, God will somehow make up for that harm. And its quite possible that those compensatory blessings might be of a sufficient quality or quantity for that child to then become a highly desired marriage partner.
It’s up to us to decide if we will place greater faith in statistics, or in our theology.

Usually a towel drying and then getting dressed.

If it’s true that we grow from our trials, and if its true that divorce constitutes some sort of trial for the children of a divorcing couple, then its reasonable to assume that the children of divorced parents have had opportunities for growth in ways that the children of undivorced parents have not. It’s not clear to me whether these opportunities for growth, when taken, will, or will not result in a net benefit after taking into account all of the negatives arising from the divorce, but I think its fair to assume that the greater the trial, the greater the opportunities for growth. (All dependent, of course, on what the people involved decide to do with those opportunities for growth)
I also think its inconsistent with the justice of God to allow harm to come to the innocent without there being some sort of compensatory blessings equal to or greater than the harm. I believe that if a child, through no fault of their own, has been harmed by the divorce of their parents, God will somehow make up for that harm. And its quite possible that those compensatory blessings might be of a sufficient quality or quantity for that child to then become a highly desired marriage partner.
It’s up to us to decide if we will place greater faith in statistics, or in our theology.

If we had enough faith in our theology, divorce wouldn't exist in the LDS culture.
You know what they say, work like everything depends on you, pray like everything depends on God . . .

If it’s true that we grow from our trials, and if its true that divorce constitutes some sort of trial for the children of a divorcing couple, then its reasonable to assume that the children of divorced parents have had opportunities for growth in ways that the children of undivorced parents have not. It’s not clear to me whether these opportunities for growth, when taken, will, or will not result in a net benefit after taking into account all of the negatives arising from the divorce, but I think its fair to assume that the greater the trial, the greater the opportunities for growth. (All dependent, of course, on what the people involved decide to do with those opportunities for growth)
I also think its inconsistent with the justice of God to allow harm to come to the innocent without there being some sort of compensatory blessings equal to or greater than the harm. I believe that if a child, through no fault of their own, has been harmed by the divorce of their parents, God will somehow make up for that harm. And its quite possible that those compensatory blessings might be of a sufficient quality or quantity for that child to then become a highly desired marriage partner.
It’s up to us to decide if we will place greater faith in statistics, or in our theology.