askandanswer

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  1. Like
    askandanswer got a reaction from Sunday21 in Signs of the times?   
    Carb are you trying to ring a bell?
     
     
  2. Like
    askandanswer got a reaction from SilentOne in Boy Scouts allowing transgender individuals   
    I thought you were that threat, with your plans for world domination?
  3. Like
    askandanswer got a reaction from Sunday21 in Somewhat frustrated with the culture of marrying super young.   
    Thank you
  4. Like
    askandanswer got a reaction from SilentOne in Somewhat frustrated with the culture of marrying super young.   
    In the Summer between when I finished Year 10 and started Year 11, I made a plan for my life for the next ten years. It was pretty straight forward. I would take two years to finish high school, do a year of uni, work for a year to save money for a mission, serve a mission for two years and then spend the next four years getting a degree – ten years. What I deliberately left out of my plan was when I would get married and what I would study after my mission. I left marriage out of my plan because I didn’t think it was the kind of thing I could plan for, I mean, who knows when it will happen? I deliberately left my study plans vague because I’d known too many returned missionaries who returned from their missions with completely different perspective and goals than what they had before their mission.
    I followed my ten year plan fairly closely – took a year longer to save the mission money than planned but made up that year my completing my course a year sooner than planned, so I still ended up where and when I planned to be.
    I served my mission in a land of beautiful people and I soon came to love these people. Whilst on my mission, some women made some sort of impression on me and I filed them away in the back of my mind under the heading “might be worth getting to know better at a more appropriate time.” By the end of my mission there were perhaps 8 or so people on this list. Once I had finished my mission and was back home most of the people on this list faded further into the back of my mind, but there was one person who did not fade. In fact, for no reason that I can properly explain, she became more prominent. I began to include her in the several letters that I was sending each month to former mission friends and although the letters I was sending to her were not substantially different from the letters I was sending to other friends, and her replies were not substantially different, the feeling became stronger. After I had been home for 11 months, and exchanging occasional letters with her and several other male and female mission friends, while walking to the train station to catch the train to school the Spirit prompted me very strongly that she was the one. I decided to accept this revelation. At this point, she was about 6 or 8 weeks away from finishing her mission. I thought that I should wait until she had been home from her mission for about two months and then I would write to her and tell her how I felt. I thought she needed two months to adjust to post-mission life because I felt that in that transition between mission and post-mission life, a person’s decision making processes are not the same as they usually are. But then the Spirit prompted me again, saying that I needed to act immediately. So I prepared a voice tape in which I told her of my experience and my desire to talk with her about marriage and then I mailed the tape to the Philippines timed to arrive so that it would be waiting for her when she got home from her mission. Due to some flooding in her home town the mail service was delayed for a few days, so she ended up arriving home before the tape did. Its good that I acted when I did because, unbeknown to me, she’d had a boyfriend for a year or two before her mission, and before she went on her mission they had already made post-mission plans.
    This is getting long, and perhaps not entirely relevant, so I’m going to cut a lot of stuff out. She got home in late October, I finished the first year of my degree at about the same time. I went to the Philippines in January with the intention of getting to know her better and starting preparations for a marriage in the semester break the following June-July. We ended up deciding to get married there and then, which we did. I had not gone to the Philippines to get married, and was not mentally or financially prepared for it, but that’s what we did. After a two week honeymoon, during which we visited all but one of our former mission areas together (her last companion was still in the same area in which they had served together) I had to leave her and come back home to Australia to start second year uni. I did not see her again for almost another 6 months while we worked through the immigration process.
    When she arrived, I was in the second semester of my second year, with another year to go. I had no job and no car and only the day before, had moved out of my parent’s place, into our tiny one bedroom apartment, furnished with borrowed and second hand furniture. Six weeks after she arrived I was down to my last $80 when she found a job, and I found a part time job shortly after.
    That’s how it was for me.
    So, to address a few of your points:
    I married because it is a commandment to do so. If it was not, I don’t know if I would have got married. However, having shown my willingness to obey this commandment, the Lord did most of the rest of the work by bringing my wife and I together. She married me because after praying about it several times in the Temple, she finally accepted the answer she had been fighting against. We were married in February. It wasn’t until the following October that she told me for the first time that she loved me. It was a marriage based on faith, not love.
    We hadn’t dated before we decided to get married and hardly knew each other. Nevertheless, because of the guidance of the Spirit and the answers we had received to prayer, we knew that it was the right thing to marry each other.
    I hadn’t finished my education and had no idea what career I would pursue when I got married.
    The timing of our decision when to get married was very heavily influenced by the counsel of Spencer W Kimball who counselled that marriage should not be delayed. When I went to the Philippines in mid January, I had no plan, no intention, no idea, that I would be married a month later.
    Today is our 28th wedding anniversary.
    You sound keen to pursue a career. I imagine the satisfaction and enjoyment you would gain from that would only be increased if you have someone to share it with. I also imagine that if you marry the right person, you will be even more motivated to study harder and to try harder to find the career you would like, and, more importantly, you will be more likely to succeed.  In all likelihood, she will help you succeed in what it is you want to do. If your education and career goals are important to you, they will become even more important and more joy filled, when you are married.
    My son is in a similar situation to you. He turns 24 in about ten days, and has been home from his mission for about 2 ½ years. He dates out of a sense of duty with no real hope or belief that he will find anyone of eternal interest in our stake. He’s favourably disposed towards the idea of marriage and says if the right person comes along, he will make an effort, but right now he doesn’t seem to be too willing to try too hard to do anything about it. He knows what is right so we leave it to him.
  5. Like
    askandanswer reacted to my two cents in Somewhat frustrated with the culture of marrying super young.   
    @A&A - wow and Happy Anniversary to you and your wife!
  6. Like
    askandanswer got a reaction from Vort in Somewhat frustrated with the culture of marrying super young.   
    In the Summer between when I finished Year 10 and started Year 11, I made a plan for my life for the next ten years. It was pretty straight forward. I would take two years to finish high school, do a year of uni, work for a year to save money for a mission, serve a mission for two years and then spend the next four years getting a degree – ten years. What I deliberately left out of my plan was when I would get married and what I would study after my mission. I left marriage out of my plan because I didn’t think it was the kind of thing I could plan for, I mean, who knows when it will happen? I deliberately left my study plans vague because I’d known too many returned missionaries who returned from their missions with completely different perspective and goals than what they had before their mission.
    I followed my ten year plan fairly closely – took a year longer to save the mission money than planned but made up that year my completing my course a year sooner than planned, so I still ended up where and when I planned to be.
    I served my mission in a land of beautiful people and I soon came to love these people. Whilst on my mission, some women made some sort of impression on me and I filed them away in the back of my mind under the heading “might be worth getting to know better at a more appropriate time.” By the end of my mission there were perhaps 8 or so people on this list. Once I had finished my mission and was back home most of the people on this list faded further into the back of my mind, but there was one person who did not fade. In fact, for no reason that I can properly explain, she became more prominent. I began to include her in the several letters that I was sending each month to former mission friends and although the letters I was sending to her were not substantially different from the letters I was sending to other friends, and her replies were not substantially different, the feeling became stronger. After I had been home for 11 months, and exchanging occasional letters with her and several other male and female mission friends, while walking to the train station to catch the train to school the Spirit prompted me very strongly that she was the one. I decided to accept this revelation. At this point, she was about 6 or 8 weeks away from finishing her mission. I thought that I should wait until she had been home from her mission for about two months and then I would write to her and tell her how I felt. I thought she needed two months to adjust to post-mission life because I felt that in that transition between mission and post-mission life, a person’s decision making processes are not the same as they usually are. But then the Spirit prompted me again, saying that I needed to act immediately. So I prepared a voice tape in which I told her of my experience and my desire to talk with her about marriage and then I mailed the tape to the Philippines timed to arrive so that it would be waiting for her when she got home from her mission. Due to some flooding in her home town the mail service was delayed for a few days, so she ended up arriving home before the tape did. Its good that I acted when I did because, unbeknown to me, she’d had a boyfriend for a year or two before her mission, and before she went on her mission they had already made post-mission plans.
    This is getting long, and perhaps not entirely relevant, so I’m going to cut a lot of stuff out. She got home in late October, I finished the first year of my degree at about the same time. I went to the Philippines in January with the intention of getting to know her better and starting preparations for a marriage in the semester break the following June-July. We ended up deciding to get married there and then, which we did. I had not gone to the Philippines to get married, and was not mentally or financially prepared for it, but that’s what we did. After a two week honeymoon, during which we visited all but one of our former mission areas together (her last companion was still in the same area in which they had served together) I had to leave her and come back home to Australia to start second year uni. I did not see her again for almost another 6 months while we worked through the immigration process.
    When she arrived, I was in the second semester of my second year, with another year to go. I had no job and no car and only the day before, had moved out of my parent’s place, into our tiny one bedroom apartment, furnished with borrowed and second hand furniture. Six weeks after she arrived I was down to my last $80 when she found a job, and I found a part time job shortly after.
    That’s how it was for me.
    So, to address a few of your points:
    I married because it is a commandment to do so. If it was not, I don’t know if I would have got married. However, having shown my willingness to obey this commandment, the Lord did most of the rest of the work by bringing my wife and I together. She married me because after praying about it several times in the Temple, she finally accepted the answer she had been fighting against. We were married in February. It wasn’t until the following October that she told me for the first time that she loved me. It was a marriage based on faith, not love.
    We hadn’t dated before we decided to get married and hardly knew each other. Nevertheless, because of the guidance of the Spirit and the answers we had received to prayer, we knew that it was the right thing to marry each other.
    I hadn’t finished my education and had no idea what career I would pursue when I got married.
    The timing of our decision when to get married was very heavily influenced by the counsel of Spencer W Kimball who counselled that marriage should not be delayed. When I went to the Philippines in mid January, I had no plan, no intention, no idea, that I would be married a month later.
    Today is our 28th wedding anniversary.
    You sound keen to pursue a career. I imagine the satisfaction and enjoyment you would gain from that would only be increased if you have someone to share it with. I also imagine that if you marry the right person, you will be even more motivated to study harder and to try harder to find the career you would like, and, more importantly, you will be more likely to succeed.  In all likelihood, she will help you succeed in what it is you want to do. If your education and career goals are important to you, they will become even more important and more joy filled, when you are married.
    My son is in a similar situation to you. He turns 24 in about ten days, and has been home from his mission for about 2 ½ years. He dates out of a sense of duty with no real hope or belief that he will find anyone of eternal interest in our stake. He’s favourably disposed towards the idea of marriage and says if the right person comes along, he will make an effort, but right now he doesn’t seem to be too willing to try too hard to do anything about it. He knows what is right so we leave it to him.
  7. Like
    askandanswer got a reaction from zil in Stats You'd Like to See   
    Hi Mirk, I've corrected your typo
    Black Sabbath is a legendary influence in the metal underworld.

     
  8. Like
    askandanswer got a reaction from Backroads in Somewhat frustrated with the culture of marrying super young.   
    And you're married already?
  9. Like
    askandanswer got a reaction from Just_A_Guy in .   
    It sounds like you have two incomes and only one dependent child. Where I come from, that would leave enough money left over to afford to hire a housekeeper/cook for a few hours a week. This approach would hide but not solve the problem. It might even be cheaper than counselling. And then you would both be faced with a clear choice - live in a tidy house and pay someone to keep it clean or keep the money and live in a tidier house. Sometimes it can help to have the issues clarified.
  10. Like
    askandanswer got a reaction from Sunday21 in .   
    It sounds like you have two incomes and only one dependent child. Where I come from, that would leave enough money left over to afford to hire a housekeeper/cook for a few hours a week. This approach would hide but not solve the problem. It might even be cheaper than counselling. And then you would both be faced with a clear choice - live in a tidy house and pay someone to keep it clean or keep the money and live in a tidier house. Sometimes it can help to have the issues clarified.
  11. Like
    askandanswer got a reaction from Backroads in .   
    It sounds like you have two incomes and only one dependent child. Where I come from, that would leave enough money left over to afford to hire a housekeeper/cook for a few hours a week. This approach would hide but not solve the problem. It might even be cheaper than counselling. And then you would both be faced with a clear choice - live in a tidy house and pay someone to keep it clean or keep the money and live in a tidier house. Sometimes it can help to have the issues clarified.
  12. Like
    askandanswer reacted to estradling75 in Somewhat frustrated with the culture of marrying super young.   
    It is...  Now when was the last time you meet someone who's life went "Perfectly," and "Reasonably" according to their plans?
    When we realize that life is unpredictable, then we know we shouldn't let something important pass us by because it didn't fit into our plans of the moment
     
     
  13. Like
    askandanswer reacted to estradling75 in Somewhat frustrated with the culture of marrying super young.   
    That is perfectly acceptable...
    The question then becomes... what are you doing to find such a girl?
    If you are looking... then it takes as long as it takes... and everyone else can go hang.  You can also do other things like school and what not, concurrently while looking.
    If you are not looking... then you need to give yourself a kick in the pants and get going.
  14. Like
    askandanswer reacted to Vort in Lame Jokes, the Sequel   
    THE TRUE STORY OF THE HUNCHBACK OF NOTRE DAME, PART DEUX
    Naturally, the bellringer position needed to be filled again. And once again, the search was long and arduous, and the archbishop was on the edge of despair. But one morning, in walked a ugly armless hunchback. The archbishop was speechless -- it was as if his old bellringer had risen from the dead! And like the old bellringer, the man rung the bell in the same unusual manner, and with the same sublime results. Naturally, he was hired on the spot, and faithfully filled his duties.
    But one rainy night a year later, the unthinkable happened yet again, and the bellringer plunged to his death. Again the crowd gathered, the lamentations sounded, and the archbishop in tears came to the tragedy. Someone asked, "Who was this poor bellringer?" The archbishop responded, "I don't know, but he's a dead ringer for the last guy."
  15. Like
    askandanswer reacted to CV75 in War stories in Alma   
    I think it is a practical example of keeping the faith during those conditions that are most common in mankind to destroy it from the outside in, whether spiritual or physical war. Mormon also saw our day and our wars and contentions, especially in those parts of the world where we have not seen the Church enter, and which have been in a constant state of war on some level for hundreds if not thousands of years.
  16. Like
    askandanswer reacted to mirkwood in War stories in Alma   
    To expose Secret Combinations and the dangers they represent to our freedom and our religion. 
  17. Like
    askandanswer got a reaction from Sunday21 in Stats You'd Like to See   
    I think the world just became a better place - slightly less noise pollution
    http://www.blabbermouth.net/news/black-sabbath-reaches-the-end-as-band-performs-final-concert-in-birmingham-video/
     
  18. Like
    askandanswer reacted to Sunday21 in To those of us not watching the Super Bowl...   
    PPI? Pally Peptalk and Intervention? Polite Preparatory Insult? PEanut and Pecan Icecream! I got it at last!
  19. Like
    askandanswer got a reaction from zil in Is the mind part of our spirits or physical body?   
    I offer this possibility without scriptural support or suggesting that it is what I believe in – its just something to think about.
    I believe that we began our existence as an intelligence, that through means unknown, gradually acquired a sense of self awareness and capacity to choose. By repeatedly making a certain type of choice, some intelligences began to progress, to the point where their capacities began to increase. This intelligence is the core, and the beginning of our being, and existed entirely independently of God.
    Some intelligences progressed to the point where, without further assistance, they could progress no further – they had reached the limit of natural capacities. Or perhaps they had reached the point where they were able to be joined to a spirit .At that point, our Father, through means unknown, combined us, as a limited, independently existing intelligences, with a spirit that He had made, and we changed from being an intelligence, to becoming a soul. As before, by making certain choices, some of us continued to grow and progress and expand in capacity. I suspect that by this point, our decision making ability, and the decisions we were making, were being influenced by the spiritual component of our being, and our proximity to our Father.
    Once again, many souls progressed to the point where they were no longer able to progress any further. To progress further, we needed something else, and this something else was made available to us in the form of a body. This body is a carnal creation, created by the reproductive activities of our parents. Our Heavenly Parents added to this body a mind. I believe that our mind is the interface between our physical brain and spiritual stimuli. I think that spiritual promptings come from the Holy Ghost, to our mind, which then processes or transmits those promptings into our brains. I believe that our mind is equally susceptible to “promptings” eg, thoughts, feelings, desires, from Satan, and in the same way as promptings from the Spirit, these promptings are also passed from our mind into our brain where we make a conscious decision on how to respond to these promptings. To tilt things in our favour, we were all blessed with the light of Christ. I believe this light acts in our minds in such a way as to make us more receptive to promptings received from the Spirit rather than from the devil.
    I don’t have any references, scriptural or otherwise, to support these views. These are just some ideas I have come up with after giving the matter some occasional thought over the years.
    I suspect that further understanding of the differences between mind and brain can be obtained through a study of decision neuroscience which studies the physical processes that our happening in the brain while a decision is being made.(eg http://dlab.unimelb.edu.au/home) If our decisions are influenced by spiritual promptings, there is likely to be a point in our decision making equipment - our brain - where this influence occurs, and since our decision making process is a physical process, there is also likely to be some sort of interaction between the physical and the spiritual, along with a place of interaction, and observable evidence of that interaction. One theory that I vaguely remember reading is that during the decision making process, the neurons in the decision making area of our brain are initially in a state of flux, and as they begin to line up in the same orientation, our decision is made. I remember thinking to myself at the time that maybe all the Spirit has to do to prompt a certain decision is to change the orientation of a few neurons in our brain at the right moment. If this idea is correct it would give some insight into where and how the Spirit interacts with our physical bodies. 
  20. Like
    askandanswer reacted to NightSG in Wearing symbols/jewelry from other religions   
    I think it's more shocking to them that you're using it as an ashtray.
  21. Like
    askandanswer got a reaction from Blackmarch in Is it ever ok not to serve a mission???   
    An interesting similarity - I also have a brother who had mental health issues and had to serve a three month "mini mission" before he was able to serve a full time mission. The cool thing is that about 18 months after he finished his mini mission I went to the MTC with someone he baptised. 
  22. Like
    askandanswer reacted to Jane_Doe in Potential convert struggling with Mormonism   
    Nope.
    Yep.
    There's actually an official statement on this (http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/approaching-mormon-doctrine ).  This is an exert of it, bolding is mine:
    Not every statement made by a Church leader, past or present, necessarily constitutes doctrine. A single statement made by a single leader on a single occasion often represents a personal, though well-considered, opinion, but is not meant to be officially binding for the whole Church. With divine inspiration, the First Presidency(the prophet and his two counselors) and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles (the second-highest governing body of the Church) counsel together to establish doctrine that is consistently proclaimed in official Church publications. This doctrine resides in the four “standard works” of scripture (the Holy Bible, the Book of Mormon, the Doctrine and Covenants and the Pearl of Great Price), official declarations and proclamations, and the Articles of Faith. Isolated statements are often taken out of context, leaving their original meaning distorted. Some doctrines are more important than others and might be considered core doctrines. For example, the precise location of the Garden of Eden is far less important than doctrine about Jesus Christ and His atoning sacrifice. The mistake that public commentators often make is taking an obscure teaching that is peripheral to the Church’s purpose and placing it at the very center. This is especially common among reporters or researchers who rely on how other Christians interpret Latter-day Saint doctrine. Based on the scriptures, Joseph Smith declared: “The fundamental principles of our religion are the testimony of the Apostles and Prophets, concerning Jesus Christ, that He died, was buried, and rose again the third day, and ascended into heaven; and all other things which pertain to our religion are only appendages to it.”
     
  23. Like
    askandanswer reacted to Jane_Doe in Potential convert struggling with Mormonism   
    (Continued from above)
    You're looking through a modern-sensablities bias lens here.  Do you want to write a letter to Jacob and tell him "I'm sorry Jacob, you're only allowed to have one wife.  Please leave your other three behind, sucks to be them".  No!  Such is nonsense!   That's how things were back then.   Nowadays, if you want to marry more than one chick you'll be immediately kicked out of the Church, because such is strictly forbidden.  
    As to D&C 132:63, that verse is saying essentially "wife don't cheat on your husband".  
    If I tell Bob "give up the meth or it's going to destroy you", is that me/God restricting Bob's agency?  No!  Rather specifically supporting Bob's agency: he can do this OR this, he gets to choose.  With each choice comes consequences.  
    It was the same with Emma's choice she had.  She could accept that God had told her husband to do this OR she could not.  The latter choice undoubtably would have shattered her marriage and faith.
    This practice, like the Law of Moses, was commanded in some periods of time and forbidden in others.  For the last century+ it's been forbidden.
    Would you ask the same question as to whether or not you're supposed to slaughter oxen on an alter?
    (Man this is the longest reply I've written in a while)
  24. Like
    askandanswer got a reaction from Fether in Is it ever ok not to serve a mission???   
    In our stake, a few years ago, someone sent in their mission papers, and received a reply that in effect said, no, not yet, wait. I think that in these circumstances, having applied to serve a mission and being told not, that it would have been wrong for this person to have then served a mission at that time. This would seem to be an exception to the rule. I have no idea how common it is but it seems to be a perfectly valid and legitimate exception. About six months later they were invited to submit their application, which they did, and were then called to serve in a nearby mission. They came home after about 12 months, something to do with anxiety. 
  25. Like
    askandanswer got a reaction from NeuroTypical in Is it ever ok not to serve a mission???   
    In our stake, a few years ago, someone sent in their mission papers, and received a reply that in effect said, no, not yet, wait. I think that in these circumstances, having applied to serve a mission and being told not, that it would have been wrong for this person to have then served a mission at that time. This would seem to be an exception to the rule. I have no idea how common it is but it seems to be a perfectly valid and legitimate exception. About six months later they were invited to submit their application, which they did, and were then called to serve in a nearby mission. They came home after about 12 months, something to do with anxiety.