askandanswer

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  1. Like
    askandanswer reacted to Grunt in Having a rough time at church   
    I'm so, so sorry.   You're awesome and I've missed your presence.   I've recently decided to reprioritize my focus from work to Church and family.   Work has crushed my soul lately, and I've come to the realization that what I've based my identity on doesn't really matter at all.
    Goals are important, and accountability is helpful.  That said, I really believe when we set goals for ourselves, they are often lofty and unrealistic.   I set goals for myself based on where I'm at in life.  A few months ago my goals were specific times spent reading scripture, praying, and feeding my soul with good content.  Know what they are this month?  Get out of bed and make it until noon before texting my wife to complain about work.  That's my primary goal.  Not whining until noon.   It's worked, too.   That activity has caused me to re-examine my priorities and shift my focus.
    So, be honest with your goals, but still have them.  If your goals make things worse in your life, they aren't good goals.   Maybe your goal for your group leader will be "not looking at the group leaders texts until tomorrow".   Being more productive, and goals, are different things for different people, change with what's going on in our life, and are meant to lift us up and make us better, not tear us down.  Don't let the expectations of others make you set goals that don't match what you need in life.  Goals can be selfish.
  2. Like
    askandanswer reacted to laronius in Liahona article on infertility - to multiply and replenish the earth   
    In my opinion no. I can appreciate the sentiment of the person writing the article but nothing else equates with having and raising children. Obviously, if a couple try to obey this commandment but are not able to for whatever reason the Lord will honor their desire to obey and reward them accordingly. But we should never try to substitute this commandment with anything else.
    What is interesting is that the commandment to multiply and replenish the earth is really just one part in a string of commandments the Lord gave Adam and Eve in relation to their purpose on earth. But if you read it all as one long commandment then I guess you could say tending the garden is complying with the commandment in part but obeying one part does not excuse you from obeying the rest when it is within your power to do so.
  3. Haha
    askandanswer got a reaction from LDSGator in Justice Breyer to retire   
    And not just in the US either. Somehow its all his fault over here as well. It's amazing the influence and trickery that gator has. 
  4. Like
    askandanswer reacted to Grunt in Faith and Politics   
    I might not be asking the question you want, but it isn't the wrong question.
    It's sad you find it off-putting, but we are called to be missionaries.  
     
    I don't think it's a simple as that, and the focus is probably different for everyone.   We do want you to receive your eternal reward.  We also want to serve the community.  With my friends outside the Church, my faith speaks for itself.  Others I have passing time with and proselytize.   For some, I think standing as witness is needed, for others I feel I must "warn my neighbors".   If this is what you find off-putting, I'm sorry.  However, I don't feel staying silent would be any less off-putting to you, only less uncomfortable.   I follow as the Spirit dictates.
    Maybe they are doing irreparable harm to themselves and their salvation.  Maybe they are harming the Church.  They aren't harming my faith.   I also don't particularly buy the excuse that people would follow Christ if not for Christians.   I think it's a convenient excuse.   Obviously, you disagree.   I don't think people acting any different would bring you to follow Christ.  Complaining about it just lets people blame someone else.
  5. Like
    askandanswer reacted to Godless in Faith and Politics   
    You're asking the wrong question, and you're asking it of someone who was born and raised in your church and left for reasons that were more ideological than personal.
    Honestly, one of the most off-putting traits of Christians/LDS is the conversion mindset. Far too often, I've encountered people of faith whose interest in me is based entirely on their perceived ability to "save" me. They've gotten better, but for a long time I struggled with this within my own family as well. If you want to have a real bond with non-believers, the first step is to lose the proselytizing mindset. Let you faith speak for itself in how you treat others (and how you speak about others, per @Fether's earlier point). Showing that you're willing to live the loving gospel you preach will bring more people to your faith than proselytizing will. The important thing is to apply that love consistently, without regard to whether or not conversion is on the table.
    Unfortunately (for you, I honestly don't really care), the brash and brazen types that @prisonchaplain was talking about are the loudest and most visible examples of modern Christianity. I realize that they likely represent a minority of Christians, but they're doing irreparable harm to your faith. And again, as @Fether said, it's the flamboyant hypocrisy that's doing the most damage. A lot of us have no issue with the teachings of Christ. It's his fan club that we can't stand. 
  6. Like
    askandanswer got a reaction from Grunt in Callings   
    I think its a fairly common experience to initially feel that a calling is beyond your abilities. I've never turned down a calling and my wife and I have always strongly encouraged our adult children to never turn down a calling. Having watched the process over many years whereby callings are considered and extended, I have faith in the process. I've had some callings that I didn't enjoy, but I'm certain that was my fault. I was once called as a ward family history consultant when I had recently moved into a new ward where nobody knew me and I knew nothing about family history. Fortunately, that calling only lasted a few months. There's a calling that I've wanted for a long time but which has never come my way. I think that the Lord's representatives and servants generally know what they are doing when they issue callings, and when they don't, its best to act as if they do. 
  7. Haha
  8. Like
    askandanswer got a reaction from Grunt in Callings   
    I think its a fairly common experience to initially feel that a calling is beyond your abilities. I've never turned down a calling and my wife and I have always strongly encouraged our adult children to never turn down a calling. Having watched the process over many years whereby callings are considered and extended, I have faith in the process. I've had some callings that I didn't enjoy, but I'm certain that was my fault. I was once called as a ward family history consultant when I had recently moved into a new ward where nobody knew me and I knew nothing about family history. Fortunately, that calling only lasted a few months. There's a calling that I've wanted for a long time but which has never come my way. I think that the Lord's representatives and servants generally know what they are doing when they issue callings, and when they don't, its best to act as if they do. 
  9. Like
    askandanswer got a reaction from Grunt in Callings   
    I think its a fairly common experience to initially feel that a calling is beyond your abilities. I've never turned down a calling and my wife and I have always strongly encouraged our adult children to never turn down a calling. Having watched the process over many years whereby callings are considered and extended, I have faith in the process. I've had some callings that I didn't enjoy, but I'm certain that was my fault. I was once called as a ward family history consultant when I had recently moved into a new ward where nobody knew me and I knew nothing about family history. Fortunately, that calling only lasted a few months. There's a calling that I've wanted for a long time but which has never come my way. I think that the Lord's representatives and servants generally know what they are doing when they issue callings, and when they don't, its best to act as if they do. 
  10. Like
    askandanswer reacted to Anddenex in Gays, blacks and the church   
    This is one of the reasons why I love the movie "The Testaments of One Fold and One Shepherd" put out by the Church a while back. At one point the son says, "Why are you not happy for me?" To which the father replies, "I am happy for you, because you are happy. But I am sad because your happiness can not last."
    We indeed can respect the "agency" of another while morning their decisions (which are against God) that will not bring lasting happiness.
  11. Like
    askandanswer reacted to JohnsonJones in Gays, blacks and the church   
    It is a strange process one goes through when they have a grandchild come out as LGBTQ.  You start asking yourself questions and trying to figure things out...at least I did.
    1.  Did I do something wrong as a parent or grandparent?
    You wonder if you did something wrong in your practices, in what you did.  Then, you start to think about how much of it might not be a cultural thing and may be a genetic thing and so you wonder the next item.
    2.  Is there something wrong with me, with my genetics?
    If people are born with that way, then perhaps it is something with genes.  The thing that I have multiple grandchildren (2 thus far) that have this, reinforces that perhaps it could be something with my genetics.  Then, you start realizing that maybe I am wondering about the wrong questions.
    3.  Perhaps there is NOTHING wrong with me either way.  Perhaps these children or grandchildren were gifts because they Lord knew that they would need someone to care and love for them no matter who they were or are.  Perhaps I should focus more on being the best Saint that I could be instead and do my best to be a good example to others, including family members.  I should accept who I am, and in turn, who others are, while I also focus on the gospel of Jesus Christ.
    This is still a doozy of one though.  There are times I am still plagued by issues #1 and #2.  This is just me as a grandparent, I am sure that my grandkids have had these same types of questions (except about themselves, rather than as a parent or grandparent) much more prevalent and strongly in their life. 
    I'm not going to stop loving them because of this element of their lives.  Every child or grandchild has a different path, some which make me happier than others, but I still love all of them.  They are part of my family.  It doesn't matter what choices or things they do, I will still love them.  That doesn't mean I'll agree with every choice they make (for example, if one of them turned into some sort of crime lord I don't think I'd approve of their choices), but I will love them no matter what.  They need to know that no matter what they choose in life, there is always a place for them at home, and that they are loved and wanted as a part of our family.
    That's the best I can do.  These grandchildren are now adults and they've made their choices as adults.  I can either choose to be a part of their life, or I can choose not to be.  I want them to be a part of my family still and I love them still.  Part of this is just accepting how things are and how they are.  In that, I have chosen to remain part of their life because as their grandfather, I love them.
    It's NOT an easy process at times (And as I said, sometimes I STILL wonder about #1 and #2, but this is still relatively new to me and I am still growing and developing with it) but it is what it is.  When asked what would the Lord do I remember that he loves each of us as a Child of God.  I put that as my example and try to do as he would (plus, as I've loved them all their lives, I still love them so it's not as hard as one would think to continue loving them).   They are my grandkids and they still do things that I'm incredibly proud and happy about.  I've loved them ever since they were born, and I'll continue to love them no matter what their choices are.
  12. Like
    askandanswer got a reaction from MrShorty in Gays, blacks and the church   
    Can you respect their choices while at the same time mourning their choices? If one of my children was to come out as gay, I would still love them but I would mourn there choice knowing that if they wanted to get married they would have to choose between a same-sex marriage not recognised by the church or a marriage to someoen of the opposite sex that they are less likely to enjoy and with which they are unlikely to be sexually satisfied. That seems to be to be a choice worth mourning.
  13. Like
    askandanswer got a reaction from MrShorty in Gays, blacks and the church   
    Can you respect their choices while at the same time mourning their choices? If one of my children was to come out as gay, I would still love them but I would mourn there choice knowing that if they wanted to get married they would have to choose between a same-sex marriage not recognised by the church or a marriage to someoen of the opposite sex that they are less likely to enjoy and with which they are unlikely to be sexually satisfied. That seems to be to be a choice worth mourning.
  14. Like
    askandanswer reacted to Fether in No longer giving a darn   
    I don’t think the phrase really qualifies well what is intended to be communicated.
    A more careful phrase would be “Other’s opinions of me do not affect my happiness or how I view myself”.
     
  15. Like
    askandanswer reacted to NeuroTypical in No longer giving a darn   
    The phrase tends to have a lot of meaning to folks who have come to a healthy understanding of such things, from other places.  Former people pleasers, who base their sense of self on what others think of them, grow out of their pasts into such phrases.  A better phrase is something like "It's ok if you don't agree or don't like me, Imma do what I think is right anyway."
  16. Haha
    askandanswer got a reaction from LDSGator in Justice Breyer to retire   
    And not just in the US either. Somehow its all his fault over here as well. It's amazing the influence and trickery that gator has. 
  17. Haha
    askandanswer got a reaction from LDSGator in Justice Breyer to retire   
    And not just in the US either. Somehow its all his fault over here as well. It's amazing the influence and trickery that gator has. 
  18. Haha
    askandanswer got a reaction from LDSGator in Justice Breyer to retire   
    And not just in the US either. Somehow its all his fault over here as well. It's amazing the influence and trickery that gator has. 
  19. Haha
    askandanswer reacted to NeuroTypical in Justice Breyer to retire   
    Truth is, whenever something's wrong, it's probably @LDSGator's fault.
  20. Like
    askandanswer reacted to NeuroTypical in Gays, blacks and the church   
    If you listen to certain folks with agendas to push for various social or economic changes, and the politicians who wish to obtain their vote, you will hear how little things have changed for this or that group.  Or how things have gotten worse.  
    If you listen to historians, certain folks who politically oppose that first group of folks, economists, people who understand statistics or how to do research, and people with a valid and deep interest in truth, you'll often hear a broader, more correct, more valid opinion about things.  Occasionally they'll agree with the first group, but they'll be able to demonstrate why they agree, in ways other than simple virtue signaling or outrage peddling.
  21. Like
    askandanswer reacted to CV75 in Gays, blacks and the church   
    The simplest key that I have found is that the Church makes no connection between sexuality (which is more than orientation) and marriage, only gender and marriage; that marriage is not dependent on the couple's sexuality , but their gender only. So, sexuality becomes an issue for married couples, or for individuals who in good faith will not pursue marriage (or stay in it) because of issues related to sexuality. The Lord will guide everyone who seeks His will.
  22. Like
    askandanswer got a reaction from Backroads in Amelia King   
    I'm only seeing things from a very great distance, but isn't it the case that anybody with a licence to concealed carry might be bringing a gun to school with them every day? The way I read it, she said she was going to bring loaded guns to school. I had the impression that in the US it was a relatively common occurence for people to bring loaded guns to school?  In the context of this incident I'm not sure how much of a difference there is between something who says they will bring a gun to school and someone who actually brings one. How is one worse than the other? If she had said what she was going to do with those guns, and if what she proposed to do was violent and damaging to people or property 'then that to me would sound like a threat. Without explicitly stating her intentions, we are left to guess, and I think we start on a slippery slope when we start handing out convictions on the basis of guesses. I think that if her actions are outside the norm, and again, I'm saying this from a distance, then perhaps at most they might be enough to get her onto a police watch list for a while. 
  23. Like
    askandanswer got a reaction from Grunt in Amelia King   
    Just out of curiousity, in relation to this case, could you hazard a guess as to what extent the decision to charge might have been driven by 1) a genuine belief by the charging officers that the law might have been broken, or 2) a reaction to the public's reaction?
  24. Like
    askandanswer got a reaction from NeuroTypical in Well, we may not see those investigators again...   
    !!
    I'm surprised to hear at the lengths that some people will go to demonstrate their hatred, ignorance and fear. Surely if you no longer believe someting, all you should do is just walk away and leave it alone. I dont understand the need to try and bring others with you.
  25. Like
    askandanswer reacted to Just_A_Guy in Amelia King   
    I’m sure public public pressure plays a role.  But the question is:  are they charging because they personally have political animus towards the defendant; or are they charging because they feel like—regardless of the partisan affiliations of the parties at play—this is just a behavior that they don’t want to become commonplace, and so the more publicly it’s done, the more publicly they have to slam the door on it?
    Thats not a question I could begin to answer in this case.