liveinlight

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About liveinlight

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    Michigan

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  1. The harshness and lack of love in the last several posts has been astounding. I really do understand that you all are motivated by the quote un-quote "tough love" approach, but honestly I do not believe that telling someone to "stop being a child" and literally attacking their choice not be homeless is the way to respond to an individual going through a hard time. Unfortunately this thread has turned from the original purpose of seeking constructive advice about my personal life to being attacked, called "spoiled", privileged, what-have-you, so instead I'll seek advice elsewhere from those who have a better grasp of my situation. Thanks so much to those who reached out in compassion to make suggestions without attacking. Moderators, please feel free to delete this thread. Note that I'm not upset with anyone for expressing their views (however harsh or somewhat misguided they may be) or trying to help. I've just realized that it may be better to approach someone in person who knows all the details of my situation. May the Holy Spirit bless you all.
  2. Sorry that you felt the need to go on the offensive, especially given that I didn't provide all the details of my situation to make such judgments. I'm here searching for (constructive, kind) advice, not to argue or attack, but I will say this: while I understand that living at home is part of my problem, as I've been somewhat stifled by my parents and I need to start life out on my own, I cannot move out with money that I do not have. I don't know if you realize this, but the minimum wage is not enough to survive on. I was working 40 hours per week doing grueling, outdoor work in the dead of summer, and still not making nearly enough to pay for rent, utilities, car upkeep, etc. Thus, in order not to dig myself into greater debt, I decided to live at home, which my parents supported because they knew that I was working hard and trying hard to better myself. I admit that I haven't pursued any more minimum-wage, service jobs, mostly because I haven't lost all hope in finding something that actually puts my skills to use. And no, contrary to your assumption, my parents did not pay for my college tuition. I worked hard in high school to be accepted by the University of Michigan, which is something that I'm proud of, but I'm now saddled with the debt from the majority of my tuition, housing, and fees, making it all the more ridiculous that with my dual degrees, I'm forced to pursue dead-end jobs that pay starvation wages. Unfortunately, I think that the unemployment/underemployment crisis among young university grads is something that previous generations can't quite wrap their heads around; we're told, "Just go get a job, who cares if you make minimum wage? You have to start somewhere!" But many people forget that that's not a feasible option. With rising cost of living and student loan payments (with exorbitantly high interest, of course), anyone trying to do that would live in poverty, at least in my area, and I'm guessing many other areas are similar. And a side note, while I understand your viewpoint that children should only be raised in a mother-and-father household, you must acknowledge that one can't simply "choose" to be attracted to men, any more than a straight person could "choose" to have same-sex attraction. This is the kind of harmful rhetoric that jeopardizes the very heterosexual marriages you speak of - if one partner experiences attraction and the other doesn't, it's almost certainly going to lead to problems in the long-term.
  3. Thanks for the kind replies, everyone. I recently applied for a few health food/grocery stores like Whole Foods (mostly because they pay a bit more than minimum wage and seem like decent places to work), and I've already been contacted for an interview. Unfortunately since I'm living with my parents in a small town, the store where I applied is about 30 minutes away, but there's not much in my town. I'll try interviewing for a part-time job and see what happens from there. At least it will probably allow me to make monthly payments on my student loans. I've been taking walks every night and praying and just asking the Lord to guide me and help me to know what to do. I don't really know what else can be done at the moment. Since I live with them, my parents are all up in my business and want to know where I'm going whenever I leave the house, so if I decided to attend my local LDS congregation one Sunday, I'd have to tell them where I was going, and I don't necessarily want to tell them until I'm 100% sure that I want to join the church. Also, there are very few Mormons in my area (small-town, southeastern Michigan) so the ward I'm assigned to is also about 30 minutes away. I have a BoM somewhere; I'll try to find it. Yes, for a while I thought maybe I was just asexual; that might be the case. I just don't see that that's much better than being gay. Either way it looks like I'll be single for life, because it seems highly unlikely to find a man who is asexual, LDS, not already taken, and who I click with. It's a good thought, though. I understand that might not look good on a resume, but I quit because 1. It was a temporary assignment anyway (supposed to be through Americorps, leading to my second point) 2. My boss mistreated me and lied to me about signing me up for Americorps, when in fact I was never signed up because of his disorganization, and 3. It was an hour from home, and I couldn't afford to get a place closer on minimum wage. It was one of those jobs with an enormous turnover rate because everyone hated it and quit; one person even quit after the first day.
  4. I'm 22. I graduated from college last spring with a double major in Environmental Studies and History, and I've been job searching ever since and living at home with my parents. Well, actually, I had a minimum-wage job with my state's Dept. of Natural Resources for a few months, but I finally decided that the horrible, uninteresting work and an hour's commute just weren't worth minimum wage, so I quit in October, and have been unemployed since then. I've applied for probably 200 jobs at this point, everything from jobs semi-related to my Environmental Studies major, like research assistant positions and internships, to completely unrelated jobs, like a flight attendant or administrative assistant. I've had a few phone interviews and one face-to-face interview for a flight attendant job, but nothing has come of them. I'm about ready to give up. I have been racking my brain trying to figure out what to do. My entire life is on hold because I literally can't do anything without money. In addition to the sea of job rejections that I've been plunged into, I've been struggling internally for years with my sexuality. It started when I was about 17. Before that, I guess I just assumed that I was straight. I was homeschooled throughout middle school and high school and grew up in a very Christian family, and I didn't have a lot of friends my age and didn't know any gay people, so I didn't even realize being gay was a thing. And I had a huge crush on a male celebrity as a young teenager, so I had no reason to think I was anything other than straight until I started noticing feelings for girls. It started when I was on Tumblr and came across this lesbian singer. I started watching all her videos, and before I knew it, realized that I had developed a big crush on her. Then I started developing really strong feelings for one of my (straight, female) friends freshman year of college, and that was when I knew it was more than just a short phase or admiration of a singer who happened to be gay; I WAS gay, or at least bisexual with a preference for women. Around age 15 or 16 (before I had any inkling that I might be gay) I had started to explore the LDS church. Even though I had grown up in a Protestant Christian environment, I met someone who was Mormon, which had led me to google the church, and something about it attracted me and made me want to know more about it. I didn't tell my parents, of course, because they would've gotten upset, and I never actually went to any LDS church services because I couldn't have done so on my own without them knowing, but I started reading the Book of Mormon online and thought that once I moved out of my parents' house, then I'd start to attend an LDS church. Well, fast-forward to 2012 - I had just realized that I really was something other than straight, and at first it terrified me. As I started to accept it, I also started to leave religion (of any form) by the wayside and follow my own path. I never really rebelled (I didn't even date women because I didn't know how to meet them), and I never drank except for the occasional few glasses of wine on the weekends with a friend. I just stopped considering myself a Christian because it was easier, and I knew that there was no place for me as a non-straight person in most Christian churches. Now I'm 22, and I've still never been in a relationship with anyone (male or female). Up until a few days ago still gave no thought to God or religion. I went back to the place where I lived as a teenager, back when I first started to explore the LDS church and before everything became so complicated and confusing and I didn't know where to turn. It changed something in me somehow. I started wondering if living life on my own without God was a good plan. I only gave up on Him because I thought I had no other option if I was attracted to women; I thought my options were to either live my life alone and try to maintain my relationship with God, or set off on my own in order to maybe one day fall in love. But I've been single, alone, AND isolated from God, and it's taken its toll on me. Something has to change, and I don't think that pursuing a relationship with a woman is the best solution. The thing is, it's not that I can't see myself falling in love with a man. I can. (In fact, I thought I really was in love with that male celebrity when I was 15!) It's just that I'm not physically attracted to men in general. I can certainly appreciate a handsome face and pretty eyes and a kind smile, it's just that the thought of a sexual relationship with a man is unnerving and gross to me because I don't see men that way. I didn't have any bad experiences with men in the past or anything; I just am not attracted. I feel like if I could be in a romantic but non-sexual relationship with a man, I'd probably be just fine. It's just that the odds of that happening seem to be slim and none. I guess the reason why I posted this was 1. so I could vent all of my feelings and frustrations to people who might understand and 2. to ask for advice on what I should do. My unemployment, separation from God, and lack of any purpose in life has taken a huge toll on me, and I don't know where to turn. If it weren't for the issue with my sexuality, I would jump wholeheartedly back into my relationship with God and going to church, but I'm not 100% sure that I'm okay with being single for life, and the chances of finding a man to be with on my own terms are dismal, especially when a lot of people my age are already in serious relationships or even married. But I can't continue to try to make it on my own without any sense of guidance, and deep down I know that only God can help me to figure out life. Any suggestions for what to do in my situation? I realize that even if I do start to rebuild my relationship with God, it won't be easy, and I'll still face the same issues of unemployment and struggling with sexuality, it's just that I feel like at least I won't be alone in the struggle.