Latter-Day Marriage

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  1. Like
    Latter-Day Marriage got a reaction from Still_Small_Voice in Brother in law living with us   
    Your BIL I assume is an adult and mentally competent.  Your marriage is your priority.  Help him as best you can without making it damaging to the marriage.  You could consider perhaps having him stay for a short period of time but only with a firm move out date and a plan to accomplish that.  Having him stay for good doesn't sound feasible.  He can go to the church for help as well and he has to be responsible for himself.
  2. Like
    Latter-Day Marriage got a reaction from Openmind in Emotional affair and children   
    No.  If that really was better the church would be counseling people in your situation to do that.  God wants you to repent and become clean and free of this sin, anyone or anything or any thought of doing otherwise is not from God.
    And you can not repents and become clean of this without making a full confession to your husband.  Yes, he will be deeply hurt.  Yes, he may or may not divorce you (seeing as you have not slept with this other person I think divorce would be an over-reaction), but just because he can does not mean that he should.  Especially with children involved.  If both of you are humble to seek repentance and give true forgiveness your marriage can come out of this stronger than it ever was before.  Not because of the sin, but because of how repenting and forgiving will change the both of you into better people.
    The steps of repenting to God of your sin are the same as the steps you must take to reconcile with your husband.  Please see the series of posts I made about that:
    https://latterday-marriage.blogspot.com/2017/09/healing-wounds-part-1-where-to-start.html
  3. Like
    Latter-Day Marriage got a reaction from dddd in Married brothers on church dating sites   
    If these are websites specifically for LDS members to find other members to date it should be a requirement for people who sign up to be legally free to marry.
  4. Like
    Latter-Day Marriage got a reaction from KScience in I recently got married and I'm struggling to go to church because my wife doesn't want me to go. What should I do?   
    Actually you can.  You are a custodial parent so you don't need her to give permission for you to take your daughter anywhere.   You can put your foot down and say you are going to church, and you are going to teach your child the things you believe in even if she doesn't go with you.  And she gets to do the same.  If she is going to church and wants to take her with her, she doesn't need your permission, but if you both want to do that at the same time you need to work our a fair schedule for it. 
    And your daughter is certainly no excuse for YOU not going, nor is this cowardly 'God made me this way' stuff.  God gives us weaknesses for us to fight against and overcome so he can make them a strength to us.
    Fear God or fear your wife (fear as in respect).  She is making you choose between the two and you choice will impact the exaltation of yourself, your daughter and your wife.  Stop being a sacred little boy acting on fear. 
    Christ did not come to be a peacemaker, he said:
    Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword. For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. And a man’s foes shall be they of his own household. He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me. (Matt 10:34-38)

    Your foe is of your own household.  Take up your cross and follow the Savior.  Stop making excuses, stop defending doing what you know you should not do, stop making excuses, stop letting fear of your wife rule your life.
  5. Like
    Latter-Day Marriage got a reaction from Backroads in I recently got married and I'm struggling to go to church because my wife doesn't want me to go. What should I do?   
    Actually you can.  You are a custodial parent so you don't need her to give permission for you to take your daughter anywhere.   You can put your foot down and say you are going to church, and you are going to teach your child the things you believe in even if she doesn't go with you.  And she gets to do the same.  If she is going to church and wants to take her with her, she doesn't need your permission, but if you both want to do that at the same time you need to work our a fair schedule for it. 
    And your daughter is certainly no excuse for YOU not going, nor is this cowardly 'God made me this way' stuff.  God gives us weaknesses for us to fight against and overcome so he can make them a strength to us.
    Fear God or fear your wife (fear as in respect).  She is making you choose between the two and you choice will impact the exaltation of yourself, your daughter and your wife.  Stop being a sacred little boy acting on fear. 
    Christ did not come to be a peacemaker, he said:
    Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword. For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. And a man’s foes shall be they of his own household. He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me. (Matt 10:34-38)

    Your foe is of your own household.  Take up your cross and follow the Savior.  Stop making excuses, stop defending doing what you know you should not do, stop making excuses, stop letting fear of your wife rule your life.
  6. Like
    Latter-Day Marriage got a reaction from NightSG in I recently got married and I'm struggling to go to church because my wife doesn't want me to go. What should I do?   
    Actually you can.  You are a custodial parent so you don't need her to give permission for you to take your daughter anywhere.   You can put your foot down and say you are going to church, and you are going to teach your child the things you believe in even if she doesn't go with you.  And she gets to do the same.  If she is going to church and wants to take her with her, she doesn't need your permission, but if you both want to do that at the same time you need to work our a fair schedule for it. 
    And your daughter is certainly no excuse for YOU not going, nor is this cowardly 'God made me this way' stuff.  God gives us weaknesses for us to fight against and overcome so he can make them a strength to us.
    Fear God or fear your wife (fear as in respect).  She is making you choose between the two and you choice will impact the exaltation of yourself, your daughter and your wife.  Stop being a sacred little boy acting on fear. 
    Christ did not come to be a peacemaker, he said:
    Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword. For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. And a man’s foes shall be they of his own household. He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me. (Matt 10:34-38)

    Your foe is of your own household.  Take up your cross and follow the Savior.  Stop making excuses, stop defending doing what you know you should not do, stop making excuses, stop letting fear of your wife rule your life.
  7. Like
    Latter-Day Marriage got a reaction from Jane_Doe in I recently got married and I'm struggling to go to church because my wife doesn't want me to go. What should I do?   
    Actually you can.  You are a custodial parent so you don't need her to give permission for you to take your daughter anywhere.   You can put your foot down and say you are going to church, and you are going to teach your child the things you believe in even if she doesn't go with you.  And she gets to do the same.  If she is going to church and wants to take her with her, she doesn't need your permission, but if you both want to do that at the same time you need to work our a fair schedule for it. 
    And your daughter is certainly no excuse for YOU not going, nor is this cowardly 'God made me this way' stuff.  God gives us weaknesses for us to fight against and overcome so he can make them a strength to us.
    Fear God or fear your wife (fear as in respect).  She is making you choose between the two and you choice will impact the exaltation of yourself, your daughter and your wife.  Stop being a sacred little boy acting on fear. 
    Christ did not come to be a peacemaker, he said:
    Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword. For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. And a man’s foes shall be they of his own household. He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me. (Matt 10:34-38)

    Your foe is of your own household.  Take up your cross and follow the Savior.  Stop making excuses, stop defending doing what you know you should not do, stop making excuses, stop letting fear of your wife rule your life.
  8. Like
    Latter-Day Marriage got a reaction from NightSG in I recently got married and I'm struggling to go to church because my wife doesn't want me to go. What should I do?   
    She is NEVER going to accept it as long as you take this 'I'm not going until she accepts it'' stuff. 
    You are surrendering your role as the spiritual leader of the home to her and telling her that her acceptance if more important to  you than obedience to God.  It is your job as her husband to LEAD your wife and family by example.  To be blunt, you need to man up, grow a pair, stop being a p-whipped little boy.  I don't like talking like that but I'm trying to break through this wall you have built in your mind.  Stop making yourself a hostage to her mood.  Do you really think God is OK with you not going to church because  your wife doesn't like it?  He isn't.  Why should He help you change this in your relationship with her if you lack the faith to obey Him?
    And I didn't say tell her you don't care about her opinion, just that you don't agree with it and you have to do what you believe is best.  She may be resentful over not getting things her way for a time, but that is her choice.  She could choose to put some trust in your judgement and be respectful of your opinion even through she doesn't agree with it.  My father was resentful of the church at first, he came around when he saw what it did for my mom. 
    Tell her in a kind and loving way that you hear what she is saying but you don't agree and will attend church as your conscience demands.  Ask her how she would feel if the tables were turned and you were trying to stop her from going to her church.  No matter what she says, stick to your guns, go to church, take the heat and pray for God to soften her heart.  It is God that will change her feelings on this and He can only do that if you are exercising the faith to live the gospel.
  9. Like
    Latter-Day Marriage got a reaction from NightSG in I recently got married and I'm struggling to go to church because my wife doesn't want me to go. What should I do?   
    Nobody likes being stood up to, but you have to have the courage of your convictions to stand up for what you believe in, even if it means displeasing or upsetting others, not just when it is easy and agreeable to others.  Don't let the fear of other people's reactions run your life for you, that is living is a prison.
    I get that you would  like a way to resolve this that doesn't involve a level of conflict with her, that's normal, but you can't limit yourself to that.  You have to be prepared push back and take the heat when the situation calls for it.  She doesn't seem to have a problem pushing back against you and risk upsetting you, do you think that should be a one way street?  Even if she is upset about it she will have more respect for a man who will do that then one who can't stand up to her.  And she won't have respect for you if you can't stand up to her over anything.
  10. Like
    Latter-Day Marriage got a reaction from KScience in I recently got married and I'm struggling to go to church because my wife doesn't want me to go. What should I do?   
    She is NEVER going to accept it as long as you take this 'I'm not going until she accepts it'' stuff. 
    You are surrendering your role as the spiritual leader of the home to her and telling her that her acceptance if more important to  you than obedience to God.  It is your job as her husband to LEAD your wife and family by example.  To be blunt, you need to man up, grow a pair, stop being a p-whipped little boy.  I don't like talking like that but I'm trying to break through this wall you have built in your mind.  Stop making yourself a hostage to her mood.  Do you really think God is OK with you not going to church because  your wife doesn't like it?  He isn't.  Why should He help you change this in your relationship with her if you lack the faith to obey Him?
    And I didn't say tell her you don't care about her opinion, just that you don't agree with it and you have to do what you believe is best.  She may be resentful over not getting things her way for a time, but that is her choice.  She could choose to put some trust in your judgement and be respectful of your opinion even through she doesn't agree with it.  My father was resentful of the church at first, he came around when he saw what it did for my mom. 
    Tell her in a kind and loving way that you hear what she is saying but you don't agree and will attend church as your conscience demands.  Ask her how she would feel if the tables were turned and you were trying to stop her from going to her church.  No matter what she says, stick to your guns, go to church, take the heat and pray for God to soften her heart.  It is God that will change her feelings on this and He can only do that if you are exercising the faith to live the gospel.
  11. Like
    Latter-Day Marriage got a reaction from dprh in I recently got married and I'm struggling to go to church because my wife doesn't want me to go. What should I do?   
    Your wife doesn't get a veto on your right to freedom of religion and that was likely why your Bishop was not to accepting of your excuse.  Plus you will be a better husband and father by putting God first than you will be by putting your wife and daughter first.  It is counter intuitive but it is true. 
    You need to clearly and lovingly tell her that your faith is important to you and you are going to live it including going to church each week, it is not up for debate.  Tell her it will make you a better husband and father.  Tell her that it is her choice to either trust you and be accepting of that or to turn this into a sore spot in your relationship, but either way it isn't going to change what you do.  That is part of being the spiritual leader of the home.
    You should however look for ways to make it easier for her.  Like if you took your daughter to church with you it would give her some 'me time' to sleep or whatever, and she can't say you are abandoning your daughter if you are taking her with you.  In our ward the young women are happy to help out single parents with little kids during sacrament, but even if you spend the whole time out in the foyer with your baby crying you are at least there, getting the sacrament and fellowshipping with the Saints.
    As you live the gospel you will reap the blessings and have the spirit in your home far more often.  In time she will likely notice that and her heart will soften.  She may be willing to come to a social activity or be there when ministering brethren visit you.  My mother joined the church shortly after she married my dad, and he was not at all happy at first with how much it took her out of the home.  She stayed faithful and in time my dad realized it was doing good and he was OK with it.  Then he came to know it was true and joined the church when I was 9.  When I was 10 we were all sealed in the temple.  I can't promise you it will work out like that for you, but I can promise you it won't work out like that as long as let her decide how faithful you will be.
  12. Like
    Latter-Day Marriage got a reaction from Backroads in I recently got married and I'm struggling to go to church because my wife doesn't want me to go. What should I do?   
    Your wife doesn't get a veto on your right to freedom of religion and that was likely why your Bishop was not to accepting of your excuse.  Plus you will be a better husband and father by putting God first than you will be by putting your wife and daughter first.  It is counter intuitive but it is true. 
    You need to clearly and lovingly tell her that your faith is important to you and you are going to live it including going to church each week, it is not up for debate.  Tell her it will make you a better husband and father.  Tell her that it is her choice to either trust you and be accepting of that or to turn this into a sore spot in your relationship, but either way it isn't going to change what you do.  That is part of being the spiritual leader of the home.
    You should however look for ways to make it easier for her.  Like if you took your daughter to church with you it would give her some 'me time' to sleep or whatever, and she can't say you are abandoning your daughter if you are taking her with you.  In our ward the young women are happy to help out single parents with little kids during sacrament, but even if you spend the whole time out in the foyer with your baby crying you are at least there, getting the sacrament and fellowshipping with the Saints.
    As you live the gospel you will reap the blessings and have the spirit in your home far more often.  In time she will likely notice that and her heart will soften.  She may be willing to come to a social activity or be there when ministering brethren visit you.  My mother joined the church shortly after she married my dad, and he was not at all happy at first with how much it took her out of the home.  She stayed faithful and in time my dad realized it was doing good and he was OK with it.  Then he came to know it was true and joined the church when I was 9.  When I was 10 we were all sealed in the temple.  I can't promise you it will work out like that for you, but I can promise you it won't work out like that as long as let her decide how faithful you will be.
  13. Like
    Latter-Day Marriage got a reaction from Midwest LDS in I recently got married and I'm struggling to go to church because my wife doesn't want me to go. What should I do?   
    Your wife doesn't get a veto on your right to freedom of religion and that was likely why your Bishop was not to accepting of your excuse.  Plus you will be a better husband and father by putting God first than you will be by putting your wife and daughter first.  It is counter intuitive but it is true. 
    You need to clearly and lovingly tell her that your faith is important to you and you are going to live it including going to church each week, it is not up for debate.  Tell her it will make you a better husband and father.  Tell her that it is her choice to either trust you and be accepting of that or to turn this into a sore spot in your relationship, but either way it isn't going to change what you do.  That is part of being the spiritual leader of the home.
    You should however look for ways to make it easier for her.  Like if you took your daughter to church with you it would give her some 'me time' to sleep or whatever, and she can't say you are abandoning your daughter if you are taking her with you.  In our ward the young women are happy to help out single parents with little kids during sacrament, but even if you spend the whole time out in the foyer with your baby crying you are at least there, getting the sacrament and fellowshipping with the Saints.
    As you live the gospel you will reap the blessings and have the spirit in your home far more often.  In time she will likely notice that and her heart will soften.  She may be willing to come to a social activity or be there when ministering brethren visit you.  My mother joined the church shortly after she married my dad, and he was not at all happy at first with how much it took her out of the home.  She stayed faithful and in time my dad realized it was doing good and he was OK with it.  Then he came to know it was true and joined the church when I was 9.  When I was 10 we were all sealed in the temple.  I can't promise you it will work out like that for you, but I can promise you it won't work out like that as long as let her decide how faithful you will be.
  14. Like
    Latter-Day Marriage got a reaction from Just_A_Guy in I recently got married and I'm struggling to go to church because my wife doesn't want me to go. What should I do?   
    Your wife doesn't get a veto on your right to freedom of religion and that was likely why your Bishop was not to accepting of your excuse.  Plus you will be a better husband and father by putting God first than you will be by putting your wife and daughter first.  It is counter intuitive but it is true. 
    You need to clearly and lovingly tell her that your faith is important to you and you are going to live it including going to church each week, it is not up for debate.  Tell her it will make you a better husband and father.  Tell her that it is her choice to either trust you and be accepting of that or to turn this into a sore spot in your relationship, but either way it isn't going to change what you do.  That is part of being the spiritual leader of the home.
    You should however look for ways to make it easier for her.  Like if you took your daughter to church with you it would give her some 'me time' to sleep or whatever, and she can't say you are abandoning your daughter if you are taking her with you.  In our ward the young women are happy to help out single parents with little kids during sacrament, but even if you spend the whole time out in the foyer with your baby crying you are at least there, getting the sacrament and fellowshipping with the Saints.
    As you live the gospel you will reap the blessings and have the spirit in your home far more often.  In time she will likely notice that and her heart will soften.  She may be willing to come to a social activity or be there when ministering brethren visit you.  My mother joined the church shortly after she married my dad, and he was not at all happy at first with how much it took her out of the home.  She stayed faithful and in time my dad realized it was doing good and he was OK with it.  Then he came to know it was true and joined the church when I was 9.  When I was 10 we were all sealed in the temple.  I can't promise you it will work out like that for you, but I can promise you it won't work out like that as long as let her decide how faithful you will be.
  15. Like
    Latter-Day Marriage got a reaction from mrmarklin in How do I tell someone I can't date due to temple worthiness?   
    I don't see you as having any obligation to tell him the details, if you were engaged then that would be appropriate, but not before then.
    Like MM said above, just tell him you can't get into a serious relationship right now, but you value your connection with him and hope that once you are ready you can move forward together.  If he asks for detail just say it's too personal.
    That being said, someday you will be engaged to somebody, and you should tell them about it before the wedding.  For one reason, he needs to make the choice to marry you knowing your past.  Second, you need to know that he loves you warts and all.  You don't want to start a marriage on a lie of ommission and always wonder what will happen when he finds out.  Someday he will find out and it is better you tell him up front before the wedding then make him feel like you tricked him into marrying you.  Yes, he might leave you when you tell him like that other guy did, but that is better than a divorce, especially if kids are involved.
  16. Love
    Latter-Day Marriage got a reaction from SilentOne in Preemptive Romance Advice   
    Just don't make it a bigger deal than it has to be.  'Hey, I'd like to get to know you better, would you like to go out for dinner Friday night?' is a lot easier to say yes to than asking somebody to commit up front to a romance.  When that evening is over, if things went well, you can say you'd love to go out again with them and gauge their reaction and take it from there.  When you go to the park to feed pigeons you don't chase after them and pelt them with bread crumbs.
  17. Like
    Latter-Day Marriage got a reaction from dprh in Sealed unworthily...   
    Punishing people is not the role of the church, the role of the church is to help the sinner find peace and cleansing through Christ.  There is a big difference between two people who are truly in love and committed to each other having their emotions carry them into a place they shouldn't go than a rebellious soul who cares nothing for the commandments of God and deliberately tries to get all the pleasure they can from whoever they can find as a willing partner.  Don't brand yourself as the worst of the worst for a perfectly understandable mistake you regret.
    If you have been faithful to each other, I highly doubt you will face excommunication. and I doubt you would be disfellowshiped too.  There may be some informal discipline like not being allowed to take the sacrament for a time while you work through this, but I can guarantee you that as soon as you come clean to the Bishop you will feel peace in your heart.  The Bishop will keep the matter confidential.  Your sealing is valid, but the blessings of it do still depend on your faithfulness so you need to take care of this.
    Why linger in this dark unhappy place any longer?  Call the Bishop and let the miracle of forgiveness work it's magic in your life.
  18. Love
    Latter-Day Marriage reacted to mommabear13 in Sealed unworthily...   
    Update: thank you so much to everybody for the advice and love. We went in last night to the Bishop and confessed and have started the repentance process. We do already feel so much better. I don’t know exactly what the future holds for us yet, but I know that I’m going back to the path that I belong. Love to you all!!
  19. Like
    Latter-Day Marriage got a reaction from Midwest LDS in Sealed unworthily...   
    Punishing people is not the role of the church, the role of the church is to help the sinner find peace and cleansing through Christ.  There is a big difference between two people who are truly in love and committed to each other having their emotions carry them into a place they shouldn't go than a rebellious soul who cares nothing for the commandments of God and deliberately tries to get all the pleasure they can from whoever they can find as a willing partner.  Don't brand yourself as the worst of the worst for a perfectly understandable mistake you regret.
    If you have been faithful to each other, I highly doubt you will face excommunication. and I doubt you would be disfellowshiped too.  There may be some informal discipline like not being allowed to take the sacrament for a time while you work through this, but I can guarantee you that as soon as you come clean to the Bishop you will feel peace in your heart.  The Bishop will keep the matter confidential.  Your sealing is valid, but the blessings of it do still depend on your faithfulness so you need to take care of this.
    Why linger in this dark unhappy place any longer?  Call the Bishop and let the miracle of forgiveness work it's magic in your life.
  20. Like
    Latter-Day Marriage got a reaction from SilentOne in Eroding Friendships   
    Back in the early 2000's where I worked the guy at the desk next to me was openly gay and we often had lunch together.  Up here in Canada this was when the debate over gay marriage was going strong and we talked about it many times at length.  It never got heated and while he never agreed with my side of it, he did come to see that it wasn't about hate and bigotry.  I think the chances of that happening now are much lower than back then and it is sad.
  21. Like
    Latter-Day Marriage got a reaction from unixknight in Eroding Friendships   
    Back in the early 2000's where I worked the guy at the desk next to me was openly gay and we often had lunch together.  Up here in Canada this was when the debate over gay marriage was going strong and we talked about it many times at length.  It never got heated and while he never agreed with my side of it, he did come to see that it wasn't about hate and bigotry.  I think the chances of that happening now are much lower than back then and it is sad.
  22. Like
    Latter-Day Marriage got a reaction from mirkwood in Eroding Friendships   
    Satan stirs up the hearts of men to anger, to contend one with another.  Boy is he having a lot of success with that.  We have people being confronted with angry mobs when they go out to eat just because of their political/religious beliefs.  I've heard it said that in the last days faithful members would be persecuted worse than the early saints.  If that is true it won't be by people of other religions who object to the idea of living prophets etc. it will be by the anti-religious SJW types who can't stand the existence of anybody who objects to them (and especially those who can articulate sound arguments against their views).  So, sorry to say, but at some point you are going to lose friends over these trends.  You may even lose a job or be rejected from being hired or promoted simply for what your believe.  Just look what happened when DC Comics hired Orson Scott Card.
    As for this particular situation, you are the DM, it is your game.  You have every right to lay out boundaries on how your players behave.  I would suggest you write out those boundaries, send them to all your players and let them know that they are perfectly welcome to keep coming so long as they conduct themselves as you define as appropriate.  Then Penny and everyone else can decide for themselves if they will keep coming or not rather you being the one to decide.  Hopefully they all agree and abide by that, but if they don't that is their choice to leave.  One toxic player ruins it for everyone.  If they say they will respect your boundaries but keep violating them warn them they will not be allowed to keep coming unless they shape up.  Say it all nicer than that though. :)
    BTW, I'm a DM myself.  I run two campaigns and both of them are with family and ward members, although we have a non-member friend of one of the players who will be joining us next session.  If somebody is not at least vouched for by somebody I know I'm very reluctant to add them as a new player.
  23. Like
    Latter-Day Marriage got a reaction from Jane_Doe in Eroding Friendships   
    Satan stirs up the hearts of men to anger, to contend one with another.  Boy is he having a lot of success with that.  We have people being confronted with angry mobs when they go out to eat just because of their political/religious beliefs.  I've heard it said that in the last days faithful members would be persecuted worse than the early saints.  If that is true it won't be by people of other religions who object to the idea of living prophets etc. it will be by the anti-religious SJW types who can't stand the existence of anybody who objects to them (and especially those who can articulate sound arguments against their views).  So, sorry to say, but at some point you are going to lose friends over these trends.  You may even lose a job or be rejected from being hired or promoted simply for what your believe.  Just look what happened when DC Comics hired Orson Scott Card.
    As for this particular situation, you are the DM, it is your game.  You have every right to lay out boundaries on how your players behave.  I would suggest you write out those boundaries, send them to all your players and let them know that they are perfectly welcome to keep coming so long as they conduct themselves as you define as appropriate.  Then Penny and everyone else can decide for themselves if they will keep coming or not rather you being the one to decide.  Hopefully they all agree and abide by that, but if they don't that is their choice to leave.  One toxic player ruins it for everyone.  If they say they will respect your boundaries but keep violating them warn them they will not be allowed to keep coming unless they shape up.  Say it all nicer than that though. :)
    BTW, I'm a DM myself.  I run two campaigns and both of them are with family and ward members, although we have a non-member friend of one of the players who will be joining us next session.  If somebody is not at least vouched for by somebody I know I'm very reluctant to add them as a new player.
  24. Like
    Latter-Day Marriage got a reaction from Midwest LDS in Eroding Friendships   
    Satan stirs up the hearts of men to anger, to contend one with another.  Boy is he having a lot of success with that.  We have people being confronted with angry mobs when they go out to eat just because of their political/religious beliefs.  I've heard it said that in the last days faithful members would be persecuted worse than the early saints.  If that is true it won't be by people of other religions who object to the idea of living prophets etc. it will be by the anti-religious SJW types who can't stand the existence of anybody who objects to them (and especially those who can articulate sound arguments against their views).  So, sorry to say, but at some point you are going to lose friends over these trends.  You may even lose a job or be rejected from being hired or promoted simply for what your believe.  Just look what happened when DC Comics hired Orson Scott Card.
    As for this particular situation, you are the DM, it is your game.  You have every right to lay out boundaries on how your players behave.  I would suggest you write out those boundaries, send them to all your players and let them know that they are perfectly welcome to keep coming so long as they conduct themselves as you define as appropriate.  Then Penny and everyone else can decide for themselves if they will keep coming or not rather you being the one to decide.  Hopefully they all agree and abide by that, but if they don't that is their choice to leave.  One toxic player ruins it for everyone.  If they say they will respect your boundaries but keep violating them warn them they will not be allowed to keep coming unless they shape up.  Say it all nicer than that though. :)
    BTW, I'm a DM myself.  I run two campaigns and both of them are with family and ward members, although we have a non-member friend of one of the players who will be joining us next session.  If somebody is not at least vouched for by somebody I know I'm very reluctant to add them as a new player.
  25. Thanks
    Latter-Day Marriage got a reaction from unixknight in Eroding Friendships   
    Satan stirs up the hearts of men to anger, to contend one with another.  Boy is he having a lot of success with that.  We have people being confronted with angry mobs when they go out to eat just because of their political/religious beliefs.  I've heard it said that in the last days faithful members would be persecuted worse than the early saints.  If that is true it won't be by people of other religions who object to the idea of living prophets etc. it will be by the anti-religious SJW types who can't stand the existence of anybody who objects to them (and especially those who can articulate sound arguments against their views).  So, sorry to say, but at some point you are going to lose friends over these trends.  You may even lose a job or be rejected from being hired or promoted simply for what your believe.  Just look what happened when DC Comics hired Orson Scott Card.
    As for this particular situation, you are the DM, it is your game.  You have every right to lay out boundaries on how your players behave.  I would suggest you write out those boundaries, send them to all your players and let them know that they are perfectly welcome to keep coming so long as they conduct themselves as you define as appropriate.  Then Penny and everyone else can decide for themselves if they will keep coming or not rather you being the one to decide.  Hopefully they all agree and abide by that, but if they don't that is their choice to leave.  One toxic player ruins it for everyone.  If they say they will respect your boundaries but keep violating them warn them they will not be allowed to keep coming unless they shape up.  Say it all nicer than that though. :)
    BTW, I'm a DM myself.  I run two campaigns and both of them are with family and ward members, although we have a non-member friend of one of the players who will be joining us next session.  If somebody is not at least vouched for by somebody I know I'm very reluctant to add them as a new player.