thoughts

I hope I would have the presence of mind to respond, "I am so sorry you are frustrated. Our meeting isn't until ____ tonight and I stopped by to pick up your daughter." I would have done that to model expressing sympathy, while standing ground. And I would meet with the class presidency about using the calendar function at lds.org to send emails to everyone, automatically. And training the class to check their emails AND the calendar itself each week. I am wondering why you are driving her daughter to YW's (and whether her anger was because she may not have gas money the next day because she did it). OTOH, I think I might decline to give her rides any more because of her mother's outburst. Anyone who lives within two minutes can walk or bicycle to church and be independent. (Maybe I'd help daughter get a bicycle.)

Whether it is less expensive or not, there have been various trampoline safety improvements over the years. I'd pick the new one to be sure I was taking advantage of all of them.

Quitting using porn is not the same thing as being in recovery of a porn addiction. When you get to the recovery part, you won't be white knuckling it all the time. If your gf is willing, in your shoes, I would get civilly married and work towards the sealing together. If she is already in it for the long haul, then you might do better being in it together. (Don't count on it helping your addiction though: research says that being married, with the perks, doesn't do that.) I don't see this as giving up. I see this as accepting yourself where you are at.

Those of us who remember the same kind of brouhaha when Jesse Ventura (a WWE wrestler ran for MN governor, see this as more of the same. People are voting for Trump for the same reason they didn't want "any of the above" political people then. And the sky didn't fall during his governorship, any more than it will during Trump's presidency. It is a shame that so many people feel like Trump is necessary to get the political classes attention on things that matter to the people, and to figuring out solutions that will work for all (though Trump fans do not appreciate that some of the dysfunction is not political class trying to stay in power, but very divergent views of what is good for American and Americans, which cannot be resolved by the extremes of positions).

Eliminating use of porn, does not equal recovery. His previous efforts were likely the former, rather than the latter. He will have to address and resolve all the things that create the craving. If you have not been tested for STD's do it now, and remain abstinent until that is completed. Get on an effective birth control: you need to be protected for that night when you want to be intimate, and are. (So long as you love him, it is going to happen at some point.) Separation can be very useful. Agree that you will honor the marriage vows, and maintain the current financial arrangements. Is there a room in the home of an empty nester couple that he might rent for six months (it is best not to go home to family, whose presence and involvement may interfere with what the separation is supposed to address).? Agree it is for a time certain. (I'd think at least 3 months in your case.) During this time he should come to your house three evenings a week and feed and put the kids to bed, and Saturdays get them up for breakfast and chores. (real life things, not play). You should do something outside teh home during the time he is there. Go on dates once a week, as well as couples counseling (could be before or after the date night or separate. (The point is that you each experience what divorce life is likely to be, as well as working with fresh eyes on the issues. He goes to an addiction 12 step program, and to individual counseling until the counselor says he no longer needs it). (One advantage of this kind of separation in your case is that you will not feel compelled ot always be checking up on him: he will either act like he wants to be married, or he won't.) At the end of the three months if he has lived up to his agreements with behavior and counseling and finances and visitation, he moves back in and you try to make your marriage work with the new skills and insight you have about each other and yourselves. Adultery is one of the acceptable reasons for divorce, and when serial adultery has happened can be inevitable. But OP will need to come to that decision herself. There are those who can work through everything, though that is much less likely when it has happened more than once. I am so very sorry you and yoru children (even your dh) have to live through this. You might find some help in He Did Deliver Me from Bondage, Colleen Harrison Clean Hands Pure Heart http://deseretbook.com/store/product?sku=4919796 https://www.lds.org/topics/pornography/audiences/individuals/sexual-addiction-reading-list?lang=eng http://rowboatandmarbles.org/

My thinking on this subject of embryo and sperm donation is that God has prescribed a certain way of having children, in cooperation with Him. Further, He has seen fit to preserve information about the miracles that can achieve the end of child birth, when it seemed physically impossible by any mortal means. If God means that two more children will be born to you, and must be born to you, then He is quite capable of making sure it happens (without outside intervention). If it doesn't happen naturally, He will not in any way be upset with you for not being able to do it: desire to do it, and trying to do it --- iow, your personal best--- is always good enough for Him. I think it is clear that we are each individually going to be held accountable for how we use our procreative powers. And I don't think trying to override what God does with others because someone wants a child badly but cannot have one even with extraordinary medical procedures is in keeping with submitting our will to His. Is the child born to someone else using our sperm and egg (specially if we have been sealed) ours eternally, no matter who gave physical birth? That is a real possibility. What if that child isn't appropriate taught the Gospel, or doesn't get to experience what s/he was supposed to learn or grow because they are not in our family: won't we also be responsible for that (the child clearly won't be responsible in any way, as s/he had no choice about their birth). What about the possible confusion or damage when they are grown and learn that you gave them (the eggs/sperm that made them) away to someone else? For me, the very human desire to have and raise children has overtaken God's plan and acting on that desire in the artificial ways that science now makes possible, doesn't change the fact that it is NOT how God set it up. I don't think God's plan prioritizes giving spirits bodies by any means possible over family (which includes the reproductive powers of any couple).

The question for any saint who wishes to live with God again is whether he or she can submit his own will fully to God. Returning to Him 10 percent is merely a way to practice that submission --there are times when He requires much more of us in time and even in resources. If we are unwilling to faithfully pay tithes, we are going to have real trouble giving our all to Him, as we are individually asked to do. The protection from burning by tithepaying at the last day isn't some external thing. It is the protection of committing ourselves to His kingdom, to His way of thinking (to the extent mortals can know that), and to being like Him. I don't consider my tithing as charity. I think as we can afford to do so, we should consider giving charitable donations in FO, humanitarian funds, and secular charities that are reputable and effective, of considerably more.

For one it may be a year, for another it may be twenty. If I were your dh, I would put in the letter the day of your wedding, and that you would like to do it in the temple, but will do it outside while waiting for the approval, if that is necessary. And then I'd just plan the date and get married that date, in the temple if you get the approval, or outside.

You've done things too that she is going to have to compare with others ---- that is an important reason that people choose to only do these things with the person they marry (including extensive kissing, for instance). You are just thinking that her experience is more, but if the issue is comparison, that matters little. You are smart to be concerned about who she is today, and by all means, wanting her repentance process to be complete is not unreasonable. It probably means that for you, dating people who have completed the entire process makes more sense (though it might not calm your comparison issues). Certainly it is hard to start a relationship until former relationships have been fully resolved, and that is hard to do with a sexual relationship without repentence if one believes what members of the church believe. But you need to know that there are reasons for a member to "go slow" with the process other than rebellion. It may not be faith rebellion. It is more likely fear that she cannot keep the commandments, or that she has done something too big to be forgiven for, or the pain of presenting herself to men (when it was a man who took advantage of her ) for judgment. Or something else.

One of the counselors has supervisory responsibility for all the lessons. If that is who is sending you the emails, she may be trying to help you understand how to teach the lessons. For instance, one of the guidelines in teaching in the church is to use only material from church publications. There is often lots of extra material that is useful and even exhilarating, but we still don't use it in church classes as we are supposed to be teaching what the Lord wants taught, and the direction helps keep the doctrine pure. So be sure to pray about the suggestions made and about what you teach instead of it. Also, please don't stop attending RS if you are released, or counseled. It might seem judgmental, but it doesn't mean you are a bad RS teacher or a bad person. It just means that it isn't working somehow. Members can seek the Lords inspiration and help to fix whatever the leader desires them to do differently, or sometimes members cannot make the change. But that shouldn't mean rejection of the whole program. Please do not let any conflict with other church members stop you from enjoying the blessings of being where Heavenly Father wants you to be, doing what He wants you to do.

IME, each person doesn't even hear the Spirit in the same way every time. The spirit presumably speaks as he needs to for us to listen and hear, and since we are all different, he has to do it differently.

I was interested in his latest decision (claimed by a 'conference", of course) to authorize his followers to use the temple ceremony words to marry his church members for eternity, while complying with civil authority for civil side.

Far more likely to be trust issues, than it is holding out hope to be with first husband, IMHO.

I can see how that would be very hard for you. But if I were you, I would just love her and be everything my Heavenly Father expected of me. At some point she may agree to be sealed to you. But if not, she may be sealed to you after both of you are dead (since they allow that for all legal marriages). I suspect she has a problem with trust and doesn't see the point because she is afraid you will divorce her too. She might feel differently if you make a good marriage for the next while.

The eternal blessings are not necessarily applicable to just this life. And I doubt they will use you are "now married for time and eternity" because they are not doing the actually legal marriage that require those words (if someone here is from a country that doesn't allow temple workers to conduct the civil marriage, they could probably say how it is different). But I would note two things --- one is that no matter what is the common or expected form, sealers sometimes mess it all up because they just do. The second is that you can speak to the sealer or the temple pres before your sealing and ask if they could do it the way you would like them to. Or ask why they have to do it the way you don't like. The fact that it is done uniformly has nothing whatever to do with not knowing you personally. If you let Him, He and your Heavenly Mother and Savior will be with you in comfort during the entire proceedings.