Hello all. I have recently returned to church after 20 years and hitting rock bottom.My life has been very difficult and filled with abuse. I have a parent with who is Narcissistic and then married a Narcissist-who I left through domestic violence and ended up having an affair with another Narcissist(please understand I have been less active and havent adhered to the law of chastity or the word of wisdom) I am very scarred from these people. I have PTSD and Battered Womens Syndrome now. The Gospel always gave me peace in my youth and I know it is true. I came back looking for that peace again and because I wanted my children to grow up in the Church and be prepared being well aware that we live in the fullness of time. My problem is although my children are thriving in the Gospel I am not. Im trying to get temple worthy but I still struggle with the word of wisdom. I had a testamony when I was young but I cant feel it now, my faith?I dont know if its sufficient as I have trouble trusting anything I read the scriptures, I pray.I try. But after all these years I have this self sabotage going on and I cant believe that I deserve a life better than what I have had and all this abuse is normal. I forgive the people who have harmed me but the negativity from that time is present. I know that Heavenly Father has blessed me and my life could have been alot worst that it is. Im greatful. I have sort help from LDS Family Services for councilling. Because I feel I need help to progress. Has anyone been where I am if so any advice will be helpful thanks
