Bee Sweet

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Everything posted by Bee Sweet

  1. You are frightened, a lot of people have gotten their foot caught in this trap, you are human and made a mistake. My thinking is that your husband needs to know the whole truth, and come what may. Counseling is an excellent recommendation, your Bishop can refer you to one. We are told that confession is the right way, part of the repentance process. Do this the Lord's way, pray for help, pray for your husband and family. Think of Jesus Christ when they brought the woman to him who had sinned. He had compassion on her. You also deserve compassion, you need help, I think you will find that compassion from your husband and Bishop.
  2. I am usually just the opposite. I feel anxious about getting to Church, but feel uplifted when I get home. I pray this goes away for you, and yes, its probably the adversary, negative thoughts and feelings do not come from Heavenly Father. This too shall pass, hang in there!
  3. You are a daughter of our Heavenly Father, do not make a choice based on low self-worth, because it simply isn't true. Your worth is immeasurable. No negative thought you have about yourself comes from Him. You are young, the choices you make now will affect your entire life. Choose Jesus Christ, He atoned for you, He has already paid the price of our sins, we need only ask for forgiveness, our worth never changes. Please take the advice given here. Seek the counsel of your Bishop, pray for help, come to the knowledge of who you really are, your nature is divine.
  4. I grew up with a Mother who had borderline personality disorder. My childhood was so confusing because of this mental problem. I am the oldest daughter and she chose me to hate. I was ridiculed daily, she told me almost everyday that she hated me. She would put me out in alleyways as a little girl and drive away. I would wander crying until she would finally come back and get me. I finally went and lived with my Grandma, who was sweet and kind to me. As we got older, my siblings and I asked her to attend counseling with us. We went to a very qualified P.H.D. At first he told we children to not take it so seriously, then he counseled with her privately. He called me into his office alone, he expressed such sorrow for me that he almost cried. He told me that she said she hated me. He told me that with her kind of mental disorder, they will choose one child to destroy, and I was the one, lucky me. Narcissim is a big part of this disorder. I have struggled with self-worth, abandonment issues, and betrayal issues my whole life. I remember when I first started going back to church. The first thing I heard was that I am a child of God. A light bulb went on inside my head, I am a child of God and it matters not what my Mother thinks of me, I have worth!
  5. It seems very logical to me, that if someone is taking innocent lives, you take them out. It also seems very logical to me that armed citizens can do that. The guns will never be taken out of the hands of a criminal, so why should innocent people be sitting ducks? I read this statement somewhere, " The reason I lock my doors is for the criminals safety, not mine." :)
  6. When my children told me they were going to be at a certain place, my husband and I went and checked to see if they were indeed there. It wasn't a secret that we would do this, it also set the precedence that they had better be where they said they would be. My parents were extremely lax with me and my siblings and I resented it as I got older. I wanted my children to get through their teenage years without looking back on major transgressions. And they did. They knew we cared and were looking out for their welfare. A parent has stewardship over their children. I would never read a diary or journal unless given permission. I did not twist observations nor was determined to find something. I simply looked out for the welfare of my children. My son was reading an article about tent city in Arizona one day. He made this observation. " If I ever got arrested and went to tent city, I would tell them I need to be behind bars, because when my Mother gets here, there's gonna be trouble. haha
  7. The Lord said He would forgive who He would forgive, but you are to forgive all men. Perhaps the discrepancy here is that, you can forgive a person, but that's not to say anyone should stay in an abusive relationship, be it physical, emotional or otherwise. Forgiveness is for us, our Heavenly Father knew it would canker our soul and make us bitter. Enduring abuse, with the long term effects such as PTSD, is not in anyone's control. However, there is psychiatric help along with meds that can help. I certainly am not an expert, but I am going through some PTSD symptoms myself as of late. I am trying with all my might to get well, with the help of my Savior, I know I can!
  8. There should be plenty of money to make our children safe at school, if we stopped sending money to Iran so they can develop the nuclear bomb. School buses do not have seat belts, but we automobile drivers can get a ticket for no seat belt? Teachers have a low pay scale, the parents now have to provide paper pencils, etc. Some of the schools have taken out the art and music programs. We idolize football players, movie actors, etc. who make millions for their time. The government spends money like there's no tomorrow, then uses our social security money and cuts federal funding to the schools. Our children are the future, teachers should be paid well with good benefits. Unless a person has a love for teaching, why would anyone choose a profession like teaching? We have this all backwards, priorities in the wrong places. As for mental profiling, I don't see how that can keep a person from slipping through the cracks. I also see it as a means to further the restrictions on Americans concerning gun control. Security is the answer, sad but true.
  9. It is a silly statement. Being a temple worker in a rather dangerous City, I have often thought, " I hope there's an officer here who is packing a gun." The only defense we have is an alarm that goes off in Salt Lake! It seems Christians are under attack, and I for one would rather worry about it, be pro-active than sit with a bullet in my head. (to quote another post.) Our U.S. government won't let this tragedy pass without attempting to take away our rights. Their objective is to restrict the American people. They mis-lead us through the media, they distract us, and what then, we gladly give away our rights and liberty? I believe when law abiding citizens are armed, it prevents gun related crimes.
  10. I raised 6 children. 3 boys 3 daughters. I stayed home till the last one went on his mission. I truly believe that actions in the home should be tolerable for everyone. Of course very young children don't have the maturity to understand this concept, but they can learn. My nerves became very frayed with screaming and fighting, it was difficult for me to be nice. There is nothing wrong with rules, your home is a good place to learn that. We had a swimming pool, swing set, and had wonderful activities we did as a family, but I'm telling you I could not tolerate fighting and tattle telling. There were always dishes to do and that's what would happen when they fought. They could wash and dry, and work it out without screaming at each other. I love making my home beautiful, I saw no need for it to be in total chaos. Everyone had a chore.Everybody had a rotation for cleaning the main bathroom. One of our daughters said, " I'm not cleaning the bathroom anymore, I don't like it." When my husband got home he asked her, " Do you use the bathroom?" She said " Yes." He said " If you use it then you will take your turn cleaning it, or use the gas station bathroom on the corner." He meant it and she took her turn cleaning the bathroom. I did not dread having my children home for the summer because there was peace ( sometimes) in our home. I loved having their friends over too. One day I heard my son tell his friend, don't scream in the house, my Mom can't take that. :) There was a lot of love in our home, that is the key, when they know you love them they can and will live up to rules. Of course there are acceptions to rules, but not many in my view. I always said, punishment for breaking the rules should be swift and dreadful. haha. Say what you mean and mean what you say. My children are delightful grown-ups who served missions and walk uprightly before the Lord.
  11. I wish this nation would be pro-active rather than re-active. How many theatre shootings, school shootings, military base shootings, etc., are we going to have before something is done? I'm sure there are plenty of veterans who would accept security positions in these various places. Why do we have to be sitting ducks? I don't know that mental profiling would be beneficial.
  12. Sorry about the anger comment, that was insensitive. Yes, sadness and frustration. IN getting back to the subject, It seems we tend to ignore what a woman goes through after discovering pornography use by her husband. It causes anxiety, self-evaluation, ( am I good enough?) lack of trust, checking cell phone records, internet history, it brings the relationship to its knees. I've read that it compares to post traumatic shock syndrome.
  13. Keep going, don't let anybody stop you.Things will work themselves out, the Lord knows your heart, what you want and need, let Him fight your battles.
  14. The lack of impulse control with an ADHD person is truly a problem. They don't foresee consequences and tend to react with a very angry response if held in accountability. Angry because they got caught!
  15. So much good advice has been given to you. I agree that we sometimes feel so sorry for ourselves, we forget the sinner is really the one in need. BUT, it seems you are not getting a lot of compassion here. Women usually set the spiritual standard in the home.( not always but its been my experience that they usually do.) Of course you are hurt and fighting for standards of the gospel in your home. The addiction term seems to be an umbrella to cover all sin. He knows right from wrong. He is hurting his wife deeply, causing a huge crack in the foundation of the marriage. He has children in the home, where does his loyalty lie? Stay off the computer, think of someone else's needs, stop being selfish. He can reprogram his brain, he just has to want to. I am so sorry you are going through this, you are not alone. Pray for yourself, turn you name into the Temple, the Lord will shore you up. Your husband isn't the only one suffering, you are suffering because of his sin. I doubt very seriously that it is because of a problem in your marriage.
  16. Divorce is a problem in itself. Sometimes it only heaps more problems on everyone involved. The Father now has visitation, the children are exposed to girlfriends, step-mothers, step-fathers-step siblings, etc., It can be a nightmare. A child needs their own Father and Mother. Having said that, can a Mother be happy and effective with her children while enduring such stress? Not to mention your health and the possibility of sexually transmitted diseases. If you love him so much, and feel there is hope, get help, counsel with your Bishop, and I would go so far as to say, 3 strikes and your out.
  17. I've known of many men who carry in church. I work in the Temple on Saturdays and I asked about security one day. There is an alarm system that goes to Salt Lake, that is all. Does anybody carry in the Temple? Several times while standing in the foyer I've thought about this.
  18. I thank thee oh God for our Prophet. I would say losing his wife has been difficult for him. I'm sure she was a comfort to him after stressful scedules and meetings.
  19. Isn't it wonderful that Heavenly Father will make everything right? My heart aches for women who've had abortions, I distain the act but not the women. It has been said that it is a forgiveable sin, so the Savior atoned for these women. His suffering for these sins is un-imaginable. I would also like to think that these spirits get another chance to live their mortal life, Again, so many un-answered questions, just faith in God that all we be made right! For the child and the Mother.