NeedleinA

The ability to show & tell (showOFF and tell) via the internet (Facebook) is that much greater now days. Bigger audience to show off how much "he really really really loves me". Choke, cough, barf.  Unwise = so true!

As somebody who also does not fit any of those three categories, I will tell you that people's attitude are changing.  The last bishops/stake presidents I've had over the last 5 have been downright encouraging of me going to the temple, despite not fitting any of the traditional "big 3".

If I date three women in a row who all have the same problem, I start asking myself why this is apparently my type, and what I need to change to get away from that.
In the FB singles groups, it's a constant theme from the women; guys are immature, they all just want sex, etc.  It's funny how often I can go sit down with a half dozen other guys who don't fit that mold, discuss the post, and find out that she's turned at least three of us down because we're just not her type.
If she's seeing a lot of immature men, she should probably take another look at the ones she passed over without properly considering them.

Wow did I hit to close to home? truth hurt a little? 
The steps I laid out have nothing to do with religion except for the temple recommend one. "You are a mid single, at this point your reasons for not serving are no one's business" My quote.  Also you don't know me or the "type" of "Mormon" I am. My personal opinion about serving missions is that it should be a personal decision made by the individual and if you don't want to go or want to delay it is no ones business but yours.
Everything else is part of being a GROWN UP.
 
 

Hi Ironhold,
I also didn't go on a mission.  Also because of family health issues - my mom was declining (she died when I was 25) and I was a co-caregiver.  I also didn't really fit in church once I hit 18 1/2.  You've had grief that I haven't - because I basically went inactive for 6 years, and came back into activity quickly engaged to an LDS girl.  I avoided all the hemming and hawing you've put up with for so long.  I feel for you.  
Here's what did it for me: I honestly don't give a flying wet crap if people in my ward think I'm righteous or not.  This isn't a mere attitude to live by, it's a deeply held belief ingrained in my soul.  I counsel with, and take council from, my bishop and EQP.  Everyone else's opinion?  Well, it only has the relevance I give it.  There are people I consider wise/healthy/smart - I tend to value their opinion independently of whether they're LDS or not.  
Interestingly, this attitude of mine makes it much easier to be friendly around people on the opposite sides of a lot of fences.  I get along well with the crazies, the two liberals, the Birchers in our ward.  I even get along well with the guy who divorced his wife, left the church, and married another guy. 

Okay, just had lunch with my wife and we talked about this, her two thoughts:
1. She suggested part of the pressure of 30's for women is watching their "baby making years slipping past them". She said that by age 34 doctors label you "higher risk pregnancy". I don't know, just what I was told. If it is true, I could see this being a factor for women feeling pressure to get going. 
2. She also reminded me about a priesthood conference talk I shared with her from just a couple years ago. (can't find it right now). Basically part of it was, "We have a problem in the church, return missionaries are postponing marriage in the pursuit of school, career, toys (motorcycles, etc)". Perhaps, some of the sisters are simply finding out the reality of what the church was concerned over. Though there are worthy priesthood holders to marry, the brethren are actually postponing while the sister are not, thus making the sisters crazy?

Why is there a "crazy" switch with single adults in our faith?  I have seen the crazy play out before. 
What I have observed:
1. One of the single adult wards in our Stake is notoriously full of the "crazies". Just picture a wild pack of female lioness going in circles, hunting, staking, all waiting for the loan male (return missionary/college grad) to come to the ward. They all fight like crazy because supply "seems" to be limited to one male. Sisters fight and fight over him. Competition breeds the "cray cray" in some people. Only one lioness wins and leaves all the rest even more desperate than before. This is an issue in our area because of a lack of "brethren". So... if you are a single brother looking for a wife, head on over here, presto, you will find one. 
2. When I was at BYU, I had an "old" single roommate, 30's. Good looking guy, had zero issue ever getting a date. However, had MAJOR issues getting a second date from anyone. He was so cray cray desperate to get married, he was basically proposing to everyone on his first dates. This spread through the ward very quickly and he ended up having to date outside of the ward. So, lesson from this... even if you are 'desperate/crazy", you better learn to hold it in or your going to scare away all potential mates and compound your problem even further. 
 

I keep trying to let it go.
People keep throwing it in my face. 
It doesn't matter that I was spreading the gospel online before LDS.org was even fully operational. It doesn't matter that I've dealt with ministers, writers, and journalists of all stripes (including some fairly big names). It doesn't matter that I'm an openly religious person in a field where there aren't a whole lot of openly religious people. I never wore a name tag, and so far too many people don't care about anything else I've done. 

Keep trying brother, keep trying and hang in there.
Going on a mission is wonderful, but is not guarantee of anything. The opposite is the same too. Two people instantly come to my mind. One of my best friends, our current Ward Mission Leader. He never went. He has been a bishop 2 times, High Council probably 3 times, etc. He went into the military instead. Wonderful guy! My uncle, who I just spoke today. Temple worker in Redlands, CA. Solid as a rock. 

If you keep finding brainwashed sisters who "only" avoid you because of this single issue, simply try looking else where. A wonderful recent convert might fit nicely too. 

Hi Kelli,
For many members the thought of confessing their sins can be overwhelming. The thought of having their sins some how attached to their permanent record can be even more overwhelming. Let me share a couple of thoughts with you to hopefully put your mind at ease and help you realize the true blessings that come from a Disciplinary Council. 
The quick version:
The Council: for the moment, we are going to alter the name "Disciplinary Council" and change it's name to "Council of Love". The Brethren that are on the Council, along with the Stake Presidency, are there for several purposes, but the main overriding purpose is to help "you". They are there to help set you on a course of correction to lead you back to full fellowship and ultimately become the best person you can be. They are there to see you as our Savior sees you, with eyes of love and compassion, not harsh judgement. Going to this council is a blessing and should be welcomed, because you are one step closer to becoming healed from whatever it is that brought you there in the first place.
Your Record: "If" you are disfellowshipped, it will be put on your permanent record, however, there is more to the story than that. Disfellowshipping is noted on your record, but only until you have been reinstated to full-fellowship again. Once you are reinstated, the notation is then removed from your record. So, why put it on your record then? This helps church leaders communicate about you incase you move elsewhere prior to coming back into full fellowship. 

navajo cornbread-
about 1 handful of corn to about 1 cup of flour, mash it together really well (it should be really sticky when it's at the right consistency, and it's good exercise for the hand) and then flatten into patties (preferably on the thinner side) then cook on a hot surface (I use a frying pan on a medium heat setting, or a bit less) till its a nice golden brown. Goes good with quite a few things, I generally like to put honey or maple syrup on top.

Hi Kelli,
For many members the thought of confessing their sins can be overwhelming. The thought of having their sins some how attached to their permanent record can be even more overwhelming. Let me share a couple of thoughts with you to hopefully put your mind at ease and help you realize the true blessings that come from a Disciplinary Council. 
The quick version:
The Council: for the moment, we are going to alter the name "Disciplinary Council" and change it's name to "Council of Love". The Brethren that are on the Council, along with the Stake Presidency, are there for several purposes, but the main overriding purpose is to help "you". They are there to help set you on a course of correction to lead you back to full fellowship and ultimately become the best person you can be. They are there to see you as our Savior sees you, with eyes of love and compassion, not harsh judgement. Going to this council is a blessing and should be welcomed, because you are one step closer to becoming healed from whatever it is that brought you there in the first place.
Your Record: "If" you are disfellowshipped, it will be put on your permanent record, however, there is more to the story than that. Disfellowshipping is noted on your record, but only until you have been reinstated to full-fellowship again. Once you are reinstated, the notation is then removed from your record. So, why put it on your record then? This helps church leaders communicate about you incase you move elsewhere prior to coming back into full fellowship. 

Why is there a "crazy" switch with single adults in our faith?  I have seen the crazy play out before. 
What I have observed:
1. One of the single adult wards in our Stake is notoriously full of the "crazies". Just picture a wild pack of female lioness going in circles, hunting, staking, all waiting for the loan male (return missionary/college grad) to come to the ward. They all fight like crazy because supply "seems" to be limited to one male. Sisters fight and fight over him. Competition breeds the "cray cray" in some people. Only one lioness wins and leaves all the rest even more desperate than before. This is an issue in our area because of a lack of "brethren". So... if you are a single brother looking for a wife, head on over here, presto, you will find one. 
2. When I was at BYU, I had an "old" single roommate, 30's. Good looking guy, had zero issue ever getting a date. However, had MAJOR issues getting a second date from anyone. He was so cray cray desperate to get married, he was basically proposing to everyone on his first dates. This spread through the ward very quickly and he ended up having to date outside of the ward. So, lesson from this... even if you are 'desperate/crazy", you better learn to hold it in or your going to scare away all potential mates and compound your problem even further. 
 

The other part to that..those that show off their rings on facebook and you are thinking, "That is the ugliest ring ever."   I had those thoughts just recently regarding a post on facebook.  
 

In all honesty I'd like to say that I'd stay behind and be blown away with the wind... but the survival instinct is just that.  I don't know what I'd do if I was feeling it AND I saw my wife starting to freak out.  That would be the last straw to make me act and make a mad dash to the Vault.  It's a horrible proposition that I'm sure many people had nightmares about 50 years ago....

Bacon soap attracts men like flies. Or maybe it's men and flies.

I believe that TFP made no such claims. You appear to have misunderstood him.
The scripture you cited defines truth as a knowledge of things past, present, and future -- but it does not say that anything that is not comprehensive is therefore false. Were this the case, none of us would at any time be able to know any truth whatsoever.
Traveler, this is classic "Have you quit beating your wife?" reasoning.
If we were not subject to the spirit of the wicked one premortally, why do you suppose the third part of the hosts of heaven would have followed him in open rebellion against the Father? Do you think there was no interchange of information going on there?
This is a false dichotomy. Certainly we were "told the truth" premortally. But your reference to the D&C definition of truth does not establish that therefore we must have known every particular of all that would happen before it ever occurred. That is not the nature of how truth is learned.
You are welcome to believe whatever you want. Hey, who knows? You might even be right. But to assume that everyone else should believe your private doctrine too, and then to fault them for not believing it, strikes me as beyond the pale.

Please show me one statement where any one of our prophets has ever taught that our skin color wasn't green in the pre-existence. If you cannot it proves that we had green skin...right?
Ridiculous.
You are claiming that we were omniscient in the pre-existence. If that is the case, what did we need God for? God's power and glory are knowledge and intelligence. If we already had that then we already had power and glory.
I'm sorry...you're going to have to do better than demanding the existence of a statement that something was denied as proof that it is a correct principle.

Okay, just had lunch with my wife and we talked about this, her two thoughts:
1. She suggested part of the pressure of 30's for women is watching their "baby making years slipping past them". She said that by age 34 doctors label you "higher risk pregnancy". I don't know, just what I was told. If it is true, I could see this being a factor for women feeling pressure to get going. 
2. She also reminded me about a priesthood conference talk I shared with her from just a couple years ago. (can't find it right now). Basically part of it was, "We have a problem in the church, return missionaries are postponing marriage in the pursuit of school, career, toys (motorcycles, etc)". Perhaps, some of the sisters are simply finding out the reality of what the church was concerned over. Though there are worthy priesthood holders to marry, the brethren are actually postponing while the sister are not, thus making the sisters crazy?

Found it: 2011 Priesthood Gen.Conf. Pres Monson
" Now, I have thought a lot lately about you young men who are of an age to marry but who have not yet felt to do so. I see lovely young ladies who desire to be married and to raise families, and yet their opportunities are limited because so many young men are postponing marriage...
... Perhaps you are having a little too much fun being single, taking extravagant vacations, buying expensive cars and toys, and just generally enjoying the carefree life with your friends. I’ve encountered groups of you running around together, and I admit that I’ve wondered why you aren’t out with the young ladies. "

Okay, just had lunch with my wife and we talked about this, her two thoughts:
1. She suggested part of the pressure of 30's for women is watching their "baby making years slipping past them". She said that by age 34 doctors label you "higher risk pregnancy". I don't know, just what I was told. If it is true, I could see this being a factor for women feeling pressure to get going. 
2. She also reminded me about a priesthood conference talk I shared with her from just a couple years ago. (can't find it right now). Basically part of it was, "We have a problem in the church, return missionaries are postponing marriage in the pursuit of school, career, toys (motorcycles, etc)". Perhaps, some of the sisters are simply finding out the reality of what the church was concerned over. Though there are worthy priesthood holders to marry, the brethren are actually postponing while the sister are not, thus making the sisters crazy?

She might be crazy, but hey, she'll be your crazy...

Why is there a "crazy" switch with single adults in our faith?  I have seen the crazy play out before. 
What I have observed:
1. One of the single adult wards in our Stake is notoriously full of the "crazies". Just picture a wild pack of female lioness going in circles, hunting, staking, all waiting for the loan male (return missionary/college grad) to come to the ward. They all fight like crazy because supply "seems" to be limited to one male. Sisters fight and fight over him. Competition breeds the "cray cray" in some people. Only one lioness wins and leaves all the rest even more desperate than before. This is an issue in our area because of a lack of "brethren". So... if you are a single brother looking for a wife, head on over here, presto, you will find one. 
2. When I was at BYU, I had an "old" single roommate, 30's. Good looking guy, had zero issue ever getting a date. However, had MAJOR issues getting a second date from anyone. He was so cray cray desperate to get married, he was basically proposing to everyone on his first dates. This spread through the ward very quickly and he ended up having to date outside of the ward. So, lesson from this... even if you are 'desperate/crazy", you better learn to hold it in or your going to scare away all potential mates and compound your problem even further. 
 

This would probably be my wife's conclusion too. Either a band or better built ring. She constantly removes it to do chores, etc. as to avoid snagging & losing the diamond.
 We paid for our wedding/reception center ourselves as college kids. Even paid for everyone to go to some BYU dance festival. It was all "small", but we saved for it and paid for ourselves, a point we look back upon today with pride. No debt, no help, no guilt about what others spent and solid sense of if you (our kids) want it, save up, because our parents didn't pay squat for us once we went to college. 
We paid our own college too. 3 part time jobs for me and full time school. Hard but we did it debt free. 

Address the root of the problem -- which is not long grass, but the husband's failure to fulfill his responsibilities. Talk about that. Find out what's going on.