NeedleinA

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  1. Like
    NeedleinA reacted to Vort in To Every Mom Struggling with a Toddler in Sacrament Meeting   
    As a parent, I have sympathy for her. But also as a parent, I wonder what in the heck is she doing with her toddler when she takes him out to the foyer? Does she just put him down? News flash: OF COURSE he's going to run around! He's a TODDLER!
    The key is to make the foyer a much less pleasant place than the chapel, so that the child prefers sitting quietly in the chapel to going out to the foyer. In the chapel, the child can play quietly with his toys or read his books or whatever. In the foyer, the child sits on the parent's lap facing a wall, and is not allowed to move. Older children simply sit on the floor facing the wall. They just have to sit there. You don't scream at them or beat them or cause them physical distress. You simply make the foyer a highly unattractive option.
    Even the most recalcitrant child will begin rethinking his strategy after a half-dozen trips to sit looking at a wall for five or ten minutes.
    Of course, this means the parent does not get to sit in the foyer and visit with other parents, or walk around himself/herself. It means the parent is punished as much as the child, probably more than the child. Welcome to parenthood. It's one of the sacrifices you make because you love your child and want to help mold him from being a tiny terroristic barbarian into a social human being.
  2. Like
    NeedleinA reacted to Faapefuoe in The Worship of God   
    It IS hard to speculate about this. What I do know is how Jesus referenced his Father during his mission here and then after his resurrection.  I believe this would be the best example of a relationship between Gods who are at once individual, and "one" of purpose and will.  Jesus definitely has an adoring worshipful and reverent attitude towards his Father.  After his resurrection, during his visit to other sheep on the Americas, this event occurred;
     
    15 And when he had said these words, he himself also knelt upon the earth; and behold he prayed unto the Father, and the things which he prayed cannot be written, and the multitude did bear record who heard him.
    16 And after this manner do they bear record: The eye hath never seen, neither hath the ear heard, before, so great and marvelous things as we saw and heard Jesus speak unto the Father;
    17 And no tongue can speak, neither can there be written by any man, neither can the hearts of men conceive so great and marvelous things as we both saw and heard Jesus speak; and no one can conceive of the joy which filled our souls at the time we heard him pray for us unto the Father.
    18 And it came to pass that when Jesus had made an end of praying unto the Father, he arose; but so great was the joy of the multitude that they were overcome.
     
    I am not much of a scriptorian, so please correct me, but is this not an exalted being who stands at the right hand of God kneeling, praying and adoring his Father.  Other scriptures in the same timeframe show Jesus expressing gratitude to his Father.  Seems like some of the answer to the question is there in the scriptures.
    Fun topic to think about. Thank you
  3. Like
    NeedleinA reacted to zil in Unable to login to LDS.net   
    This is just a suggestion - I don't know who does what, but, if I were in charge of the universe, when / if the forums are offline (or it's known they will be intermittently offline), I would simply put a little notice bar at the top of lds.net (similar in format to the current "Enter the photography contest" banner), stating that the forums are getting maintenance, or I would change the "Forum" menu item there to temporarily point to an lds.net article explaining that the forums are getting maintenance.  (I assume lds.net is run on some kind of CMS which allows articles to be written and menu items to point to article categories or individual articles.  If I'm wrong, and all this isn't a quick and simple administrator change in the back end, then nevermind.)
    Something like that would enable members and the public to know that the forums are being worked on, and if an article were used, updates could be made with status and estimated downtime...
    (Part of me thinks someone must have thought of this before, so there's a good reason why it's not done, but I'm putting it out there in case it hasn't been needed before, so no one ever had a reason to consider it.)
    Thanks again to the team!
  4. Like
    NeedleinA reacted to NightSG in Cremation / Casket Viewings   
    I want to be dipped in liquid nitrogen and shattered.
  5. Like
    NeedleinA reacted to unixknight in Cremation / Casket Viewings   
    My attitude on these matters may be considered a bit extreme by some, but it's only because, in my own way, I try to be as pragmatic as I can.
    I lost my mom in July of 2014.  (Yes, it still hurts like a #$&^#@ but I talk about it because it helps.)  She was my best friend and the only person in the world I could vent to when I'd have an argument with my wife.*  (My wife vented to her too.  My mom was THAT awesome.) 
    *My relationship with my wife is AMAZING, so I don't mean to give the impression that we're having any serious problems.  People just fight sometimes, that's all, and it's good to have someone there you can talk to who sees things more objectively.
    When she lay dying in the hospice place from lung cancer, all of the responsibility fell to me to take care of things.  She had once asked to be cremated (despite being a Catholic, which traditionally pushes a bit harder for burial than the LDS do).  This is the same decisions I would have made if it were up to me, because funeral homes, caskets, etc. are obscenely expensive.  Even cremation was well over $3,000 and I had to borrow money from my aunt to cover it.  As for the ashes... It was a box of ashes, nothing more.  My mother is no more in that box than she is on Mars, and I was a little bewildered as to what should do with it.  The matter was resolved perfectly when  my aunt seemed concerned to know what I was planning to do with them, so I just gave them to her.  That really meant a lot to her and she wants to be buried with them.  Okay with me.  I see no reason to object to that.
    My aunt arranged to have a small memorial service at her church, which I assume meant she put some money in the collection plate for.  I don't know but I can tell you it was a lot cheaper than using a funeral home.
    For me, I've made it clear that I really don't give a fig what's done with my body after I take my leave of it.  Donating it to science is my first choice, because that's the least expensive option for my family.  I'd much prefer that whatever money would have been spent on my final expenses be distributed among my kids and grandkids (assuming I live long enough to have some) to enjoy as my last gift to them.  Why buy an expensive casket when the same money can buy somebody a car?  Why spend thousands on a funeral when you can spend about 200 bucks on a party and put the rest in somebody's college fund?  Cremation is my second choice because it's still relatively cheap.  I've already warned my family that if they spend even one penny over what's absolutely necessary to simply dispose of my body, I will come back and haunt them mercilessly.
  6. Like
    NeedleinA reacted to NeuroTypical in Cremation / Casket Viewings   
    My take on the matter: Funerals and death arrangements are for the living.  Don't get in their way as they go about handling their dead.  When I hear about the folks who are going against the wishes of the deceased, I keep quiet and just try to mourn with them.  It means when I experience friction or awkwardness or high emotion when people clash on the subject, I ask myself "who is mourning", and then I go stand with them.  
    Yes, that means when someone got upset with my opinion and offered a strong retort "Funerals are to honor the dead!", I made sure I went to the funeral he was emotional about, and honored the dead like he wanted.  I was there to support the living, in a way the living valued.  
    I hate funerals, because I end up uncontrollably sobbing.  It doesn't even matter whether I knew the person that well or not.  I've learned to deal with myself by finding the back of the group, next to a garbage can, and bringing my own box of kleenex.  I actually cry so much I bring a water bottle to replace what's leaking out of me.  I have to stay out of sight, or I end up the center of attention.
    Mom wanted to be cremated, and to sit on a shelf so she could "be there" to see my wife and kid.  I honored that wish, until her parents and some siblings voiced wanting to have her ashes buried with the family.  Grandpa had just died, and they offered to handle all the details, so I handed over the urn.  Dad wanted to be buried in the Veterans National Cemetery in Santa Fe, so that's what he got.  FYI, our WWII vets are dying so often, that they weren't doing graveside services there, because of all the heavy equipment in constant use digging graves.  
    My buddy died last year in a car crash - left behind 4 kids from 5 to mission age.  He was larger than life in life.  His kids were very involved in prepping the body.  During the viewing, as conversations would spring up around the casket, one daughter would stroke the corpses hair and talk to him like he was still there.  That is stuff to not judge, even though it gave me the willies.  She wasn't stroking a corpses hair, she was trying to find a way to say goodbye to her dad.
    My wife's take on her death is fine with me: "Do with me whatever is in the best interests of my children."  
    Finally, IMO, funeral directors and morticians are like used car salesmen, and are to be handled as such.  They use tricks to increase the amount of money that goes from you to them.  You probably want to honor your dead, and they're there to make sure they help you honor, which involves giving them lots and lots and lots of money for expensive goods and services.  When you pick practical or simple, you'll be doing it in spite of dood's efforts to convey the notion that you are dishonoring the dearly departed, because you're not picking the good stuff or full service.  That you place money in higher value than your lived one.   IMO, when making funeral arrangements, treat them like a business adversary.  That doesn't mean be rude, it does mean you will end up with lose/win unless you are tough and tell them what they don't want to hear.  
  7. Like
    NeedleinA got a reaction from pam in Unable to login to LDS.net   
    Just as a heads up. For the past 3 days I have not been able to login to LDS.net. So, a couple of thoughts/suggestions...
    1. I was locked out of the site, both on my home computer, phone and work computer.
    2. This leads me to believe there was some work happening on the site during that time as I received a variety of error messages as I attempted to login??
    3. If there was work being done on the site, it would be nice if there was a notice on the site letting users know. A simple statement like:
    "Site maintenance currently in progress, this may affect some users ability to login". Something like that. 
    4. I surely couldn't have been the only one locked out. I wonder which current and potential users got locked out, frustrated or just moved on elsewhere?
    5. I realize an outside company are doing these updates, but it sure would nice to see a simple "Site maintenance in progress notice" from them. 
    My 2 cents.
    Yes, I realize the site is free. Yes, I realize the site is privilege, etc. I offer this suggestion as a way to "help" the site during this time of transition 
  8. Like
    NeedleinA reacted to pam in Unable to login to LDS.net   
    That's why we now have a facebook page where I can keep people updated. One specifically for the forums.
     
    Plus the site wasn't down during this.  Unless we bring the site down I can't find a way to put out a message.  Just that our log in system went haywire.  And it didn't affect everyone.  I couldn't even get in to post that we were having log in issues.
    Also it wasn't an outside company attempting to fix it this time.  It was our own team of technicians.
  9. Like
    NeedleinA got a reaction from Iggy in The Worship of God   
    Piggybacking on what Vort shared... From lds.org: link: DOCTRINES OF THE GOSPEL TEACHER MANUAL : CHAPTER 3: GOD THE ETERNAL FATHER "1. Does God progress in attributes and characteristics? (No. He is perfect in these things. See Matthew 5:48, Alma 7:20) 2. Does God progress in knowledge, light, and truth? (No. He has a fulness of knowledge, light, and truth. See D&C 66:12, 2 Nephi 2:24)
    3. Does God progress in power or in his ability to accomplish his work? (No. He has all power, though he will not violate eternal law nor the agency of man. See Alma 26:35, Luke 1:37, 1 Nephi 7:12, Mosiah 4:9)
    Yet God does progress."
    Speaking on the progression of Heavenly Father, Joseph Fielding Smith (link: Doctrines of Salvation) gave his opinion: 
    "PROGRESSION BY INCREASING HIS CREATIONS. The Book of Moses informs us that the great work of the Father is in creating worlds and peopling them, and "there is no end to my works, neither to my words," he says, "For behold, this is my work and my glory-to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man,"7.22 and in this is his progression."
  10. Like
    NeedleinA got a reaction from NeuroTypical in Cremation / Casket Viewings   
    Again, thank you to everyone for sharing such personal moments, and doing so with such detail. This for me has been very eye opening. I'll probably have my wife come read the thread too. 
  11. Like
    NeedleinA reacted to Vort in The Worship of God   
    Again, this is looking well beyond the mark. The Bible teaches us that we will be joint-heirs with Christ in inheriting all that the Father hath. We wish to progress eternally, even as our Father does. The exact nature of this eternal progression is not known to us in this state.
    Logically, it is difficult to believe that God is "progressing" the way we think of ourselves as progressing, gaining new knowledge and power. It leads to the conundrum that, one day, God may discover a new, more efficient way to save his children -- a new plan of salvation, as it were. But this means that we cannot have absolute confidence in God, because perhaps he does not have all saving knowledge. This is antithetical to building faith in God; therefore, I reject it. So whatever "eternal progression" means, I must assume that it does not involve God learning cool new facts he didn't know before, or gaining useful new abilities that he did not already possess. His eternal progression must be based on what he himself called his work and his glory: To bring about our immortality and eternal life.
  12. Like
    NeedleinA got a reaction from prisonchaplain in The Worship of God   
    PC - 
    Similar to what Zil shared, here is quote off lds.org: Becoming Like God
    " Latter-day Saints believe that God’s children will always worship Him. Our progression will never change His identity as our Father and our God. Indeed, our exalted, eternal relationship with Him will be part of the “fulness of joy” He desires for us."
  13. Like
    NeedleinA got a reaction from Vort in Cremation / Casket Viewings   
    Thank you Vort for sharing that.
  14. Like
    NeedleinA reacted to Sunday21 in Cremation / Casket Viewings   
    In my family, the custom is to cremate. I spoke to a former bishop and he said that if the custom in your family is to cremate, then you can be cremated. My mother wants to be cremated and have the ashes enterred in my sisters backyard along with the ashes of several predeceased family members. This is illegal in my country so I cannot do this personally. My ashes will have to do elsewhere.
  15. Like
    NeedleinA got a reaction from Sunday21 in Do you think illness can be caused by Satan, as a way of keeping us from Heavenly Father?   
    Maybe it is low, h-o-w-e-v-e-r it is NOT gone. You are seeking advice and help from other LDS people for starters. Someone with their candle totally out might be off getting drunk to mask their problem instead. Don't give up on yourself! I don't agree with the whole idea that this is some form of punishment or bad timing on your part. I would suggest not connecting or letting others help you connect dots between events that are most likely nothing more than coincidence in timing.
    This concern has been brought up several times on the forum. Just like you are chatting remotely with us, you can do the same with a LDS therapist. The internet has made it so that "few and far between" are more like "several and close at hand". LDS therapist do offer video sessions remotely. 
  16. Like
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  18. Like
    NeedleinA reacted to Vort in Cremation / Casket Viewings   
    I helped dress Dad. I am very glad I did. It was as if I were doing a final service for him, even though it really wasn't a service for him. I also went, along with one of my brothers, to the funeral home for his cremation. That was really hard, but again, I'm glad I did.
    Don't know. I occasionally (rarely) dream about Dad. I dreamed about him a couple of weeks ago -- he's always young when I dream about him, with black hair -- but I felt uneasy and sad during the dream. When I awoke, I thought about it and realized that my unease had to do with mourning about the loss of his body. Strange, probably stupid, but there you go.
  19. Like
    NeedleinA reacted to zil in The Worship of God   
    No matter what else happens, God will always be our Father and God, never our peer / colleague.  We will always worship him.
  20. Like
    NeedleinA reacted to Maureen in Cremation / Casket Viewings   
    IMO, viewing the deceased person is a way to bring closure and acceptance that their loved one has moved on. Most people when they view a family member, realize that the body is not really their loved one, but the vessel that once housed their loved one. To me, the viewing of the body and the funeral in general are for the living family members - a way to say good-bye.
    M.
  21. Like
    NeedleinA reacted to Iggy in Cremation / Casket Viewings   
    I have been to way too many funerals. The majority of which have been open casket. NOT one of the deceased looked anything but dead. UGH! My oldest sister passed in Nov of 2004. She was morbidly obese (nearly 700 pounds). The cost of a cemetery plot was beyond what the family could afford without mortgaging all of our homes, as well as a casket. No way could there be pall bearers either - at her request she was cremated. In Washington State the cremains do not have to be in a restricted vessel. Our next oldest sister found a beautiful locking jewelry box that once the parts that held rings, necklaces and earrings was removed worked wonderfully as her Urn.
    As for the Church's official stance on cremation - as their Stake President said, it is not really a "Thus Saith The Lord" stance. You have your own personal preference and the church pretty much will not interfere. As for burning the ceremonial clothes, letting them rot on the body in the ground is better??? There was no way my sister could be 'dressed' - her clothes were in the envelope and placed atop her body.
    Is the Church going to condemn someone who was killed in a fire and whose family just cannot afford a casket AND plot of land? We would have had to cremate my Dad and Mom if it had not been that Dad was a Veteran and the cemetery plot AND caskets were paid for by the US Government.
    My MIL knew of the church's views on cremation, yet that is what she told her boys and wrote to all of her blood kin that she wanted. She wanted a memorial too. A celebration of the life she had led, not a mourning of her passing. In Arizona we had to place her cremains in a flood/earthquake proof metal Urn AND when placed in the ground next to her husband in a flood/earthquake proof vault. The vault was made out of some kind of space age super strong plastics. The Urn cost just under $75.00 with the etching of the Mesa Temple and her name and stats engraved on it. The vault cost over $600.00!!
    Hubby and I will be cremated. I have to research what Oregon's law is regarding the disposition of the cremains. I want to encase the cremains in a cement bench and place the bench in the local cemetery rather than have them buried in the ground. The available plots are diminishing at the cemetery - BUT there is plenty of room for benches. They prefer cement over wood.Lasts a lot longer.
    Regarding MIL. With the help of my RS Pres. we dressed her. It was haphazard as MIL passed while she was in MO visiting her second son. MO laws are that all deceased must be autopsied. Because her funeral expenses were pre-paid and included the cost of shipping her from any state in the US to her residence in AZ, the funeral home in MO got a stipend ($65.00) compared to what they tried to charge us. ($6,000.00) thus they did a seriously bad job of it. They also delayed shipping her to AZ. She passed 11 Feb and she didn't arrive in AZ until 14 March. By law we couldn't actually remove the protective plastic the funeral home place on her, so we had to 'drape' everything. Not actually dress her. We also had to wear protective clothing provided by the funeral home: gloves, mask, covering over our clothes.
    I had never dressed anyone before. After the RS Pres explained that what we had just done was not the 'normal' dressing. About 4 months later she called and asked if I would assist her with the dressing of one of the sisters from the ward. This sister had no female relatives to do it. I was more than happy to assist. This sister had been one of MIL's best friends and in doing this I felt as though I was helping to get her ready to meet up with MIL.
    Before my RS Pres and I went in to dress MIL, her husband and the two ward councilors met us at the funeral home to offer a prayer before we went in. I was so afraid they would be in attendance too, MIL would have been mortified, she was so very modest. It was bad enough that the funeral director had to be in there, BUT he kept a respectful distance so he actually couldn't see in detail what we were doing, putting on her. ONE good thing, he too was an endowed member of the church.
  22. Like
    NeedleinA reacted to zil in Cremation / Casket Viewings   
    I dressed my mom with the help of my sister-in-law and some sisters from the RS in my mom's ward.  For me, there wasn't really any more pain there than simply from the fact that she was gone.  But I knew where she was and what she was doing, so handling the mortal necessities wasn't so difficult for me (though I wasn't sure how it would be until I was doing it).
    As for whether it's better for family or others to do it, I think it will vary from person to person - I'm sure some people just couldn't, and that's OK.  IMO, the only important thing is that it be someone worthy and who will approach it with an appropriate attitude.
  23. Like
    NeedleinA reacted to NeuroTypical in Batman vs.   
    13. Dieter Uchdorf in a theology cage match
    14. Young Joseph Smith in a stickpull
    15. Pam (don't dis the admin) 
  24. Like
    NeedleinA reacted to classylady in Cremation / Casket Viewings   
    I'm with Vort on this. I kind of like the culture of the viewing and the funeral. It seems to bring closure to family and friends. I know it does help me.
    When we had the funeral/viewing for my daughter it was closed casket (no choice because of damage to her face from the car accident), I had several people tell me years later that they never had closure because they didn't see her body in the casket. That may seem rather gruesome to some out there, but it seems to bring closure to some family and friends.
    As to the funeral itself, I feel this is a time for people to come together and grieve over the loss of a loved one. I don't understand why someone wouldn't want friends and family to come together and celebrate the life of their loved one and mourn with one another. I feel it shows respect for the life of their loved one. And, make no mistake, there is intense grieving over the loss. It seems to help when we grieve together. It brings comfort to those of us left behind.
  25. Like
    NeedleinA reacted to The Folk Prophet in Batman vs.   
    Vikings are supernatural?