NeedleinA

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  1. Like
    NeedleinA got a reaction from LeSellers in Really Questioning the Garment   
    For me, it never comes off except a very few reasons - shower, swimming, sauna or intimacy, nothing else.
     
    "Finding" excuses to remove it perhaps reflects more on other internal issues rather than the physical garment itself. 
    Having things right internally/spiritually, leads you to find every reason to keep it on. 
  2. Like
    NeedleinA reacted to JojoBag in Sexual Abuse Survivor - help   
    I was raped and sexually abused from age 4 to 9 by three relatives (1 male, 2 female).  It messed me up for the vast majority of my life.  I went to counselor after counselor, but it was a waste of time.  They tried EMDR and pshrinks tried nearly 22 different anti-depressants, anti-anxiety and anti-psychotic drugs, none of which worked and only messed me up further.  For eleven years, I turned suicidal and had nightmares an average of six nights a week; jumping out of bed, running around the room, fighting, screaming nightmares.  I even became a drug addict for those 11 years. 
     
    Nothing helped, until I met my wife.  She helped me confront the memories of abuse, where before I avoided them.  I learned that I had made the memories of my childhood into a golden calf.  I worshipped those memories, keeping them alive and using them as an excuse for not getting on with my life.  I used that to justify why I sunk so far down the ladder of humanity.  I wasn't a very good person.  Once I confronted those demons, I got off the drugs (cold turkey, which I don't recommend) and began healing.  I also had to confront my own weaknesses and then talk, talk, talk.  Fortunately, my wife has a great deal of education and experience in dealing with mental illness.
     
    Each person is different as to how they handle their memories.  What is important is to confront them, examine them and realize that they are powerless to hurt you.  I realized I was letting those memories control me and began taking that control back.  The Atonement won't take away the memories, but it will take away the pain of the memories.
  3. Like
    NeedleinA reacted to Latter-Day Marriage in Sexual Abuse Survivor - help   
    Sounds to me like the self-help route will not be enough. The LDS Family Services Counselor should be able to recommend a therapist who specializes in helping victims of abuse like this.  There are also LDS therapists that take remote patients (sessions via skype etc.).
  4. Like
    NeedleinA reacted to Jane_Doe in Sexual Abuse Survivor - help   
    Hi NeedleinA,
     
    As LP said, your friend has a long road ahead of her (I'm a survivor too).  I'll talk about your friend, and then you.  
     
    Your friend-- one of the stuff things about sexual abuse is that someone else yanks all control away from you.  She's going to have to learn to take the reins herself again responsibly.  It HURTS.  I would highly recommend a counselor specialized in this type of stuff (considering 1 in 3 girls is molested before age 18, there are a lot of counselors in this).  A good counselor is not a brain surgeon (they're not going to come in your head and just mess with stuff), rather a good counselor is like a hiking guide: he/she helps you get where you want to go, at the pace you want/can go, if you're willing to do the work to get there.  Find one that matches you (or rather your friend), and don't be afraid to try out a couple to get a good match (I tried 3).  They even have special "meet and greet" sessions precisely for that purpose.  She's got to be very honest with herself, and realize that this will take a while.  
     
    Finding other people that have been "there": 1 in 3 girls is molested by age 18 (1 in 6 for boys).  Finding a friend who's been there helps a with the "no one gets what I'm going through" feeling.  For that reason, there are support groups in practically in every city, and many online (such as the Facebook group LP recommend).  Reach out to people. 
     
    As to a book... I'll have to work to remember. Personally, healing is such an individual experience, I went through a million of them and felt like while some were helpful, none were "just like me".  
     
     
     
    Speaking to you as the helpful friend: this is NOT your battle.  You can NOT fix her.  You can NOT fight her battles.  You will NOT understand perfectly what she's going through.  Do NOT pester, do NOT push, but do NOT hide.She is in charge, and must take the reins here herself.  You need to realize this.  
     
    What you CAN do: hold her.  Be there with her.  Listen to her concerns.  Encourage her when she's down, and celebrate when she reaches each important step.  Be patient for this marathon run.  A good friend is critical for healing.  
  5. Like
    NeedleinA got a reaction from Sunday21 in MLM Scam. How to approach....   
    Being invited to a ward members house for dinner = nice and thoughtful
    Being invited to a ward members house under the disguise of dinner only have the MLM people jump on you = not so nice and thoughtful
  6. Like
    NeedleinA got a reaction from Backroads in MLM Scam. How to approach....   
    Being invited to a ward members house for dinner = nice and thoughtful
    Being invited to a ward members house under the disguise of dinner only have the MLM people jump on you = not so nice and thoughtful
  7. Like
    NeedleinA reacted to estradling75 in Bishop submissions rejected by the First Presidency   
    Right... lets not kid ourselves that the Church Leader do their jobs... and seek out guidance from God.
  8. Like
    NeedleinA reacted to john doe in Bishop submissions rejected by the First Presidency   
    I don't get the inference here. If someone's name is submitted to be a bishop and he is not called, does that make him a less valuable worker in the Lord's vineyard? Is whether a person is called a bishop some sort of litmus test for his worthiness?
     
    I think the danger here is the idea that not being called to a certain position in the Church somehow makes you less in the eyes of God or Christ. If your name is rejected for being a bishop and the Stake President is suddenly less cordial to you, doesn't that make it a 'him' problem and not a 'you' problem?
     
    There are generally a few men at any given time who are perfectly worthy to be bishop in any given ward, but just because one is chosen to be called does not mean that the others somehow don't 'measure up'. I think you will find in the Celestial Kingdom many great men who were never called to high callings in the Church. God is not a respecter of persons or their calling. It doesn't matter.
     
    Some people are foreordained to be leaders, some people are foreordained to sustain their leaders and aid them in fulfilling their callings and duties. If a church leader has no followers, how effective of a leader can he really be? Personally, I think that being a Sunday School teacher, or Priesthood/Relief Society  instructor, or Primary teacher, are just as important, and possibly more important, callings as bishop. After all, the bishop may address a ward a couple times a year, but the weekly instructors are the ones who really deliver the Gospel Message to ward members on a regular basis.
  9. Like
    NeedleinA reacted to Just_A_Guy in "Mass Resignation"   
    One doesn't want to be too dismissive of anyone who turns their back on the gospel.  On the other hand, one can't help thinking of 1 John 2:19:
     
    They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would no doubt have continued with us: but they went out, that they might be made manifest that they were not all of us.
  10. Like
    NeedleinA reacted to lagarthaaz in Is marrying outside the faith - apostasy?   
    Yes it can be tough raising kids in the gospel alone, but I'm fortunate that my husband doesn't actively try and pull our kids away from the gospel. Although he doesn't encourage them to be involved either. So far I haven't felt like he's 'dragging me down' but I've always been extremely independent and believe it is up to us individually to build our testimony and spiritual strength regardless of who we are married to (or not). 
  11. Like
    NeedleinA got a reaction from lagarthaaz in Is marrying outside the faith - apostasy?   
    Agreed
     
    Agreed. Big difference between something that may lead vs. something that is considered apostasy.
     
    I can take a snap shot of 10 actual sisters I actually know who married outside the church. Carborendum's example of his personal sister unfortunately rings too true. Of the ten sisters I know:
     
    2 - Husbands were baptized after about 20-30 years only once they aged in their senior/elder years.
    1 - Currently has a "supportive" spouse who allows home teachers, comes to events and appears pretty neutral.
    4 - Have non-supportive husbands. Husbands who gripe every time the wife wants to go to church, relief society events, etc. Husbands who intentionally plan family outings on Sunday. Husbands who tell the kids they don't need to go to Seminary in the morning so they can get more sleep to be in some other school activity. Husbands who make is apparently awkward for home/visiting teachers to come over. Husbands who are always trying to slide in "gotcha" remarks, ex: "see the news says drinking wine is good for you", "I know a Mormon who screwed up this way...", or articles similar to what your husband presented. Most of these sisters have never been endowed either. In some cases because the husband didn't want the wife in Gs. So on and so on.
    3 - Divorced
     
    I feel bad for those spouses who carry the burden all by themselves to raise a family in the church, especially the sisters who don't have the priesthood in their home, etc. 
     
    In my opinion, why does it have the potential of leading to apostasy for both the member spouse and the member kids...
    the inability to serve two masters. You are trying to teach one example, and your spouse may be teaching a totally different one. Divided loyalties exist in the family, that can lead to spiritual weakness and confusion.
     
    So long answer to your question: NO marrying outside the church is not apostasy, but from what I have seen time and time again it is a huge up hill battle and many people can't keep up the fight when their main person of supposed support is actually the anchor dragging them down. 
  12. Like
    NeedleinA got a reaction from Backroads in Is marrying outside the faith - apostasy?   
    Agreed
     
    Agreed. Big difference between something that may lead vs. something that is considered apostasy.
     
    I can take a snap shot of 10 actual sisters I actually know who married outside the church. Carborendum's example of his personal sister unfortunately rings too true. Of the ten sisters I know:
     
    2 - Husbands were baptized after about 20-30 years only once they aged in their senior/elder years.
    1 - Currently has a "supportive" spouse who allows home teachers, comes to events and appears pretty neutral.
    4 - Have non-supportive husbands. Husbands who gripe every time the wife wants to go to church, relief society events, etc. Husbands who intentionally plan family outings on Sunday. Husbands who tell the kids they don't need to go to Seminary in the morning so they can get more sleep to be in some other school activity. Husbands who make is apparently awkward for home/visiting teachers to come over. Husbands who are always trying to slide in "gotcha" remarks, ex: "see the news says drinking wine is good for you", "I know a Mormon who screwed up this way...", or articles similar to what your husband presented. Most of these sisters have never been endowed either. In some cases because the husband didn't want the wife in Gs. So on and so on.
    3 - Divorced
     
    I feel bad for those spouses who carry the burden all by themselves to raise a family in the church, especially the sisters who don't have the priesthood in their home, etc. 
     
    In my opinion, why does it have the potential of leading to apostasy for both the member spouse and the member kids...
    the inability to serve two masters. You are trying to teach one example, and your spouse may be teaching a totally different one. Divided loyalties exist in the family, that can lead to spiritual weakness and confusion.
     
    So long answer to your question: NO marrying outside the church is not apostasy, but from what I have seen time and time again it is a huge up hill battle and many people can't keep up the fight when their main person of supposed support is actually the anchor dragging them down. 
  13. Like
    NeedleinA reacted to Vort in Really Questioning the Garment   
    The garment is not "magic underwear", as the anti-Mormons and other mockers have it. We are told that the garment will function as a shield and a protection to us as long as we do not defile it, but that is not why we wear it. We wear the garment at all times because we have covenanted to do so, and we are men and women of our word. It is not always comfortable, but men and women of integrity find ways to keep their commitments rather than finding reasons to avoid keeping them.
  14. Like
    NeedleinA reacted to LeSellers in Teaching my kids about LDS History   
    I wish I had said it first, but I'll gladly say it again: I have a testimony of the Lord Jesus Christ. I have a testimony of His Church and of His Gospel. I do not have a testimony of church history.
    There are some truths that are more important than others, but I believe that "innoculating" our children against the slanders of those who would distort trival and even not-so-trivial events in church history is good practice. I'd much rather them hear that Joseph had twelve (or twenty-five) wives from me than from IRR. I can give them the context and the rationale. I can tell them of brother Brigham's aversion to the Principle and how he came to be converted to it. I can put Plural Marriage in its proper frame, and show how it is not only a principle of righteousness, but how it is a principle of charity and virtue.
    Their being blindsided by vicious liars who use the truth as Satan did in the Garden of Eden: to sell his lies, does no one any good. I believe it has caused more heartache than any other source of apostasy.
    That said, the important thing in all of this is that the Church is true, the Gospel is true, the Priesthood of God is the power of God, and that He has established His prophets from Joseph Smith onward as His spokesmen. They are human, and make mistakes, like all humans (Christ excepted), but that their mistakes and even their sins are not sufficient cause to ignore them and their work. It is a grave thing to accuse a prophet of serious sin and apostasy. I will leave that up to God, and I hope my children and grandchildren know that it is not their job to confess other people's sins, even when that other person is a prophet.
    Lehi
  15. Like
    NeedleinA reacted to bytebear in Teaching my kids about LDS History   
    Make sure you understand the whole story.  Anti-Mormons like to use the stone in the hat to make it sound odd, but when you understand the translation process (fully documented in church history) it makes perfect sense, and is only a fraction of the miracle that the translation of the Book of Mormon is.  So, tell the whole story, and don't overemphaize things that really aren't that important (but like to be used negatively).
  16. Like
    NeedleinA reacted to skalenfehl in Teaching my kids about LDS History   
    I agree with Pam. Teach them the truth. Truth is light. Light cleaves to light. Sometimes, the truth hurts, but then it sets you free. In the end, truth is all we have. In the end, if we are true, we will live in the light. 
  17. Like
    NeedleinA reacted to sxfritz in Teaching my kids about LDS History   
    I have always been clear with my children about what I found to be the truth. My children, and now grandchildren, see me living the gospel despite the quirks we can't fully understand about church history. It is hard to understand any period of history, because we live in such different times than any generation before. 
  18. Like
    NeedleinA reacted to estradling75 in Teaching my kids about LDS History   
    There is a world of difference between a parent teaching their children... And a teacher or leader teaching a large group, with larger groups the instructor is more likely to miss those that might be struggling with a concept.  Therefore things like Joseph Smith translating with a Seer Stone is not as necessary as teaching that he Translated by the Gift and Power of God.  The last one is just as much true as the first one and it also covers the first one as well.
  19. Like
    NeedleinA reacted to Traveler in Is marrying outside the faith - apostasy?   
    I believe there are two considerations.  First consideration - what are your personal covenants.  As a young single man I made a covenant with G-d that I would court (date) with intent and purpose of a Temple (Celestial) marriage.   As I was dating, I dated several non-LDS (most of which ended up being baptized).  But my mission and covenant in dating was to find a young lady to take to the temple to be married for eternity.  I took my covenant seriously - before leaving for any date I would have a private prayer and would go over my date plan with my Father in Heaven.  If I planned to kiss my date - I would tell my plan to my Father and ask for his approval and help to accomplish my plan.  When I finished my date I would return to private prayer and report to my Father in detail how things had gone - and when appropriate and necessary I would repent and ask for forgiveness.  I had strong desire to be worthy to take a worthy and pure daughter of G-d to the temple on our wedding day - when Lady Traveler and I were married - it was mission accomplished.  I believe for me - anything less then a worthy temple marriage would be a definite step into apostasy.
     
    Second consideration, What are the circumstances and covenants of courtship?  This often depends on the faith, prayer and preparations an individual makes during their courtship years (or months, weeks or days).  I believe that anytime a person know to do a good thing and does not do it - it is an act of apostasy.  Some have married in ignorance  - and that I do not believe to be apostasy.  But I would recommend to anyone that does not currently have a temple covenant of marriage - that you strongly consider making a covenant with G-d to be worthy. 
     
    First get yourself in order - make a covenant with G-d that you will do anything he ask that you may have an eternal marriage.  Then step by step make your covenant a part of your daily life.  Pray every morning and outline your plan for the day - and every night report back on your plan.  This will place you directly on the path G-d would have you on and for sure off the path of apostasy.  I promise that you will be blessed according to covenant with an eternal marriage.  It may not come in this life but if you are faithful the blessing and treasure of heaven will be yours to keep for eternity.
     
    I would also suggest that anyone follow this same attitude of covenant - even if they are currently married in the temple - make a covenant with G-d and every morning pray and present your plan and covenant to G-d and every night report how you have done - I promise all that covenant with G-d that they will have the desire of their heart - and if you do not wish to covenant with G-d - you are on the path of apostasy.
  20. Like
    NeedleinA reacted to estradling75 in Is marrying outside the faith - apostasy?   
    In the sense of the context of Gay Marriage the definition of Apostasy is open rebellion against the teaching of the church.
     
    While the Encyclopedia of Mormonism is not official it is not wrong in saying that the steps leading there are gradual.  The example it gives are some very real possibilities but it is by no means an exclusive list.
     
    It is also possible that two Sealed in the temple Mormons have taken a few steps in that direction.
     
    However it is a serious logical and reasoning failure to say that because something might be a few steps in that direction it is the only place a person could end up.  That is as bad as someone saying "Because a trip to New York begins with taking a step out you door... That every time you step our your door you must be headed for and can only end up in New York."  It is a totally absurd statement.
  21. Like
    NeedleinA got a reaction from Connie in Is marrying outside the faith - apostasy?   
    Agreed
     
    Agreed. Big difference between something that may lead vs. something that is considered apostasy.
     
    I can take a snap shot of 10 actual sisters I actually know who married outside the church. Carborendum's example of his personal sister unfortunately rings too true. Of the ten sisters I know:
     
    2 - Husbands were baptized after about 20-30 years only once they aged in their senior/elder years.
    1 - Currently has a "supportive" spouse who allows home teachers, comes to events and appears pretty neutral.
    4 - Have non-supportive husbands. Husbands who gripe every time the wife wants to go to church, relief society events, etc. Husbands who intentionally plan family outings on Sunday. Husbands who tell the kids they don't need to go to Seminary in the morning so they can get more sleep to be in some other school activity. Husbands who make is apparently awkward for home/visiting teachers to come over. Husbands who are always trying to slide in "gotcha" remarks, ex: "see the news says drinking wine is good for you", "I know a Mormon who screwed up this way...", or articles similar to what your husband presented. Most of these sisters have never been endowed either. In some cases because the husband didn't want the wife in Gs. So on and so on.
    3 - Divorced
     
    I feel bad for those spouses who carry the burden all by themselves to raise a family in the church, especially the sisters who don't have the priesthood in their home, etc. 
     
    In my opinion, why does it have the potential of leading to apostasy for both the member spouse and the member kids...
    the inability to serve two masters. You are trying to teach one example, and your spouse may be teaching a totally different one. Divided loyalties exist in the family, that can lead to spiritual weakness and confusion.
     
    So long answer to your question: NO marrying outside the church is not apostasy, but from what I have seen time and time again it is a huge up hill battle and many people can't keep up the fight when their main person of supposed support is actually the anchor dragging them down. 
  22. Like
    NeedleinA got a reaction from Just_A_Guy in Is marrying outside the faith - apostasy?   
    Agreed
     
    Agreed. Big difference between something that may lead vs. something that is considered apostasy.
     
    I can take a snap shot of 10 actual sisters I actually know who married outside the church. Carborendum's example of his personal sister unfortunately rings too true. Of the ten sisters I know:
     
    2 - Husbands were baptized after about 20-30 years only once they aged in their senior/elder years.
    1 - Currently has a "supportive" spouse who allows home teachers, comes to events and appears pretty neutral.
    4 - Have non-supportive husbands. Husbands who gripe every time the wife wants to go to church, relief society events, etc. Husbands who intentionally plan family outings on Sunday. Husbands who tell the kids they don't need to go to Seminary in the morning so they can get more sleep to be in some other school activity. Husbands who make is apparently awkward for home/visiting teachers to come over. Husbands who are always trying to slide in "gotcha" remarks, ex: "see the news says drinking wine is good for you", "I know a Mormon who screwed up this way...", or articles similar to what your husband presented. Most of these sisters have never been endowed either. In some cases because the husband didn't want the wife in Gs. So on and so on.
    3 - Divorced
     
    I feel bad for those spouses who carry the burden all by themselves to raise a family in the church, especially the sisters who don't have the priesthood in their home, etc. 
     
    In my opinion, why does it have the potential of leading to apostasy for both the member spouse and the member kids...
    the inability to serve two masters. You are trying to teach one example, and your spouse may be teaching a totally different one. Divided loyalties exist in the family, that can lead to spiritual weakness and confusion.
     
    So long answer to your question: NO marrying outside the church is not apostasy, but from what I have seen time and time again it is a huge up hill battle and many people can't keep up the fight when their main person of supposed support is actually the anchor dragging them down. 
  23. Like
    NeedleinA got a reaction from Blackmarch in Thanking the Police and Firefighters too   
    While there are those who "also" deserve thanks, it is not to say that simply because someone receives a paycheck that a "thank you" is not deserved too. I'm a small business owner and tell my employees thank you all the time. I'd be one pitiful employer to withhold sincere praise for them or anyone who goes the extra mile despite being paid. 
     
     
    I would offer up that some people who don't leave their name after doing a good deed would prefer the silent blessings as opposed to any praise anyways.   
  24. Like
    NeedleinA got a reaction from Blackmarch in Is marrying outside the faith - apostasy?   
    Agreed
     
    Agreed. Big difference between something that may lead vs. something that is considered apostasy.
     
    I can take a snap shot of 10 actual sisters I actually know who married outside the church. Carborendum's example of his personal sister unfortunately rings too true. Of the ten sisters I know:
     
    2 - Husbands were baptized after about 20-30 years only once they aged in their senior/elder years.
    1 - Currently has a "supportive" spouse who allows home teachers, comes to events and appears pretty neutral.
    4 - Have non-supportive husbands. Husbands who gripe every time the wife wants to go to church, relief society events, etc. Husbands who intentionally plan family outings on Sunday. Husbands who tell the kids they don't need to go to Seminary in the morning so they can get more sleep to be in some other school activity. Husbands who make is apparently awkward for home/visiting teachers to come over. Husbands who are always trying to slide in "gotcha" remarks, ex: "see the news says drinking wine is good for you", "I know a Mormon who screwed up this way...", or articles similar to what your husband presented. Most of these sisters have never been endowed either. In some cases because the husband didn't want the wife in Gs. So on and so on.
    3 - Divorced
     
    I feel bad for those spouses who carry the burden all by themselves to raise a family in the church, especially the sisters who don't have the priesthood in their home, etc. 
     
    In my opinion, why does it have the potential of leading to apostasy for both the member spouse and the member kids...
    the inability to serve two masters. You are trying to teach one example, and your spouse may be teaching a totally different one. Divided loyalties exist in the family, that can lead to spiritual weakness and confusion.
     
    So long answer to your question: NO marrying outside the church is not apostasy, but from what I have seen time and time again it is a huge up hill battle and many people can't keep up the fight when their main person of supposed support is actually the anchor dragging them down. 
  25. Like
    NeedleinA got a reaction from mordorbund in Thanking the Police and Firefighters too   
    While there are those who "also" deserve thanks, it is not to say that simply because someone receives a paycheck that a "thank you" is not deserved too. I'm a small business owner and tell my employees thank you all the time. I'd be one pitiful employer to withhold sincere praise for them or anyone who goes the extra mile despite being paid. 
     
     
    I would offer up that some people who don't leave their name after doing a good deed would prefer the silent blessings as opposed to any praise anyways.