PP123

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  1. I want to start out by saying that I love my husband and I know he loves me. There is too much anger and distrust in our marriage though and I need your advice. I have never done anything like this so I don't really know where to start... My husband and I have been married for two years. Our lives are stressful as we both work full-time and go to school full-time. We try to date, but often times get wrapped up in our already difficult world. We are both very passionate, opinionated people and so we either love each other passionately or hate each other passionately. We are in this nasty cycle we can't break. He is very critical of what feels like everything (he was criticized a ton as a child so I think that is just the only way he knows how to talk) including me. The things he says are just little and generally well meant, but it is so frequent that I feel like I can't do a single thing right. I have become so defensive when I feel criticized that he says he feels like he is "walking on eggshells." I feel like I will never be able to please him and he frequent nagging. As time passes and we get more and more frustrated our fights get nastier. I get kind of passive aggressive. Recently, he has started swearing in our arguments and then saying really hurtful things and leaving me. I know we both share fault, but no matter what we have tried we have never been able to fix this one cyclical problem. I know our marriage will last, but I don't want it to last like this. I am tired of feeling so hopeless and helpless. I used to be so confident and happy, but recently I feel like I am scared and depressed all the time instead. Help!