JVernet

Follow Up. It's been nothing but ups and downs since my initial post. My wife has admitted that she's changed since her ex husband committed suicide. She is confused but is content in keeping her vows to him rather than me. Still, she said she loves me and wants to be married to me at least for this life and hopefully in the next. It's been extreme emotions since my initial post. She may have mental issues that were unaware to me in the beginning. Her father had mental issues and was excommunicated over apostasy. I don't know, she may have some mental issues. You will never meet a more dovout member, she questions nothing in terms of church. Everything else, she's a sceptic. I baptized my sons in April and their mother, my ex wife, has for all intents and purposes, abandoned them. I may find myself raising my sons alone, again.

I'm in despair and have sought out advice which led me to this message board. I am a non-active member of the church and haven't been active in over 20 years. I haven't been anti-church and often find myself standing up for the church in circles of friends. I went on a mission, was married a year after I came home and had 6 children over the following 12 years. My 1st wife left the church and ended our marriage. My family was split in half and I ended up raising my two youngest daughters on my own. My ex-wife wouldn't allow our two boys to move in with me but this past year they both asked to live with me and my new wife. To my main point, I was remarried 3 years ago to a woman with 2 children. I wasn't looking to get married but she kept after me and actually asked me to please marry her. I said no for several months and then realized I really did love her. I said yes and we had a civil marriage with just our parents and children at the ceremony. She is active and I am not. She wears her garments, is faithful to no end. I haven't worn garments in 12 years. Recently my sons have been asking about getting baptized and I had the missionaries give the discussions. I started going to church regularly and thought this is a nice change and a good direction. The stake president asked us to meet with him and during the conversation he asked if we are getting sealed. I was excited and said I would like it very much. My wife said no, she didn't want to because she was already sealed to her ex-husband and she had a testimony about it. It was like cold water slowly covering my body, I was shocked and saddened. The topic would come up, on her account, from time to time and she expressed to me that she wanted this very much. Some more info, her ex-husband left her while she was pregnant with their 2nd child. He had an affair and left his wife for another woman. Last year her ex-husband committed suicide leaving me as the only father figure for the two youngest children. She doesn't want to be sealed to me, rather, she wants to stay sealed to her ex-husband. How do I deal with her wanting her ex-husband that committed adultery during pregnancy and abandoning her over choosing me? I am stunned at this development because I am the antithesis of her ex-husband. Her ex-husband was also more inactive than I ever was. I'm crushed, absolutely devastated and am thinking I'd rather be single again and live in my solitude.