flameburns623

I think predisposition, temperament, and paradigm all shape "why" people leave, and each of those have varying degrees of internal personal control. If one's temperament requires a high level of intellectual reasoning and evidence, it may be difficult to find much satisfaction in LDS wards where few others have that same need. If one is presented with the Gospel from kinds of paradigms, that Gospel may never make much sense--just as those presented with one variant of the wife/mother-in-law illusion may NEVER be able to see the other image. One whose upbringing and personal culture demand a high degree of peesonal integrity may never be able to resolve some of the messier aspects of Mormon theology or history in quite the same way that another person--with perhaps equal commitment to personal integrity--can comfortably resolve thrm. These are not fully free choices which people can make arbitrarily. I think the emphasis on absolute free will gets overdone in the minds of some Saints. Many factors go into creating our personal lenses on reality, and those lenses both reveal and distort and colour what we can see. We are free MORAL AGENTS, insofar as we can freely choose the right as we know the right; but that does not always guarantee that we can KNOW the right from the wrong. Our choices are constrained, limited, and funneled to some extent. After all, mental illness is also a distortion of how one sees the world, but that does not imply that the mentally ill can choose to see the world differently. The color-blind cannot choose how they see color. There is also the paradox of choosing between two perceived great goods: to be LDS is to elect NOT to be a Christian Scientist, a Roman Catholic, a Buddhist, or Muslim, and any of those may possess attractions which Mormonism lacks or underemphasizes. We are familiar with this paradox from the LDS understanding of the Fall. Adam and Eve chose to be embodied that they might bear children into the world rather than to remain in Paradise. It should be remembered that those who do not choose to remain in the Church are often chosing some other perceived good instead.

I appreciate the thoughts expressed here. You might, however, look over Patrick Mason's book "Planted", as well as Teryl Givens' book, "The Crucible of Doubt" for a bit more insight and perhaps empathy for those who leave or become inactive because they are undergoing a faith crisis. Givens and Mason have also done some podcast interviews: just finished tonight listening to Bill Reel do one with Patrick Mason. Understanding Fowler's Stages of Faith and Perry's Stages of Ethical and Moral Development can also help to get a better handle upon what leads people to walk away, temporarily or forever. Although different in many ways, Fowler and Perry share some similar insights. Both say that human beings pass through the early stages each delineate as a normal part of maturing. Both note that many, if not most people arrive at Stage Three of development and are able to find equilibrium and stability at that stage for most if not all of their lives. At Stage Three, a balance is achieved between autonomy and conformity to authority; between trust and confidence in what one believes, and recognition of some paradoxes and imponderables which an individual puts on a mental shelf and hopes to resolve some day. However, Fowler and Perry each note that various factors may propel someone into Stage Four, into a place where they experience doubts, angst, and even anger as they squarely face the import of issues not readily resolved or ignored. Those issues MAY BE, but don't have to be intellectual doubts; and they do not have to involve moral ambivalence or failings. The person may simply experience a conversion to another way of thinking, what Thomas Kuhn might call a "paradigm shift". For whatever reason, their "shelf" of questions and of misgivings "breaks", and they often distance themselves for a time. A lot of Stage Four people, btw, are frustrated, angry, or feel wounded by the religion they had embraced in Stages One thru Three: ex-Mormons, anti-Mormons, and aggressive atheists are found in the Stage Four phase. So are faithful Christians who speak of being in the "dark night of the soul". Some get "stuck" there. Others pass through it readily. Those who continue on through the stages laid out by Fowler or Perry find themselves able to function on a different level within a religious paradigm, adopting a more nuanced approach to their faith and able to apply it in different ways. I honestly felt when I left that I was "trading up" to a way wherein I could serve Christ better. And, should I choose to return to Mormonism, it will be because I feel that in my new personal situation, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints will help me continue serving Christ better. Be blessed!

I'm a security officer in the contract secueuty field. For much of the past 28 years I held various positions of supervisory responsibility, which often meant I was subject to being called in if there were absences. Even if I happened to have a Sunday off I couldn't expect the pager or phone not to go off and summon me to work. In any case, security work most often means evenings/nights/weekends/ holidays. That's when the officers worked, that's when the supervisors had to be in the field to check on them and assist them. I accepted a position a year or so ago as a lead which includes weekends off. That has been nice. And since I am contemplating a return, I am able to attend services these days.

I joined in 1978/79. Had my own faith crisis about a year after joining and wasn't part of the Church for awhile. I became very active for about three yearsin the late 1980's. Then the changes at work and in my ward which I described earlier took place. Meanwhile, my life went on. I married, divorced, remarried, raised kids, etcetera. Pursued a career which usually kept me working on weekends. This went on for most of twenty years. I attended Church when I could, sometimes for months on end. But it was pretty obvious that LDS life in the wards I attended centered around Sunday and the three-hour bloc. I was never deemed "active enough" to be tendered a calling. Nor even to be visited by home teachers. I explained earlier what happened when I made a concerted effort to go on teaching assignments. This was at the tail end of my LDS Church membership. Before I decided if I was going to be Mormon or Catholic, I set forth a year of reflection on the matter. As part of that, I purposed to attend LDS services as regularly as possible for at least six months--at this point, I had a job assignment which usually gave me Sundays off, though I could be called-in. This was when I was given the list of home teaching assignments entirely of committed inactives. I eventually also approached my bishop about getting a temple recommend: at this point, I had been faithfully attending for nearly six months. With punctuated absences due to being called in periodically. But I was there at least twice per month, every month, along with paying tithing and all else that goes with living a Mormon lifestyle. I remember standing in the Meetinghouse hall when I brought this up to the bishop. He wasn't abrupt nor rude or anything but his reply was, "Come see me in about five or six months: you don't attend very much, and there is an interview involved, and the anawers can't be 'I'm working on things'." I think that I did try to correct him that I had already attended for six months. But it was clear that I was getting a bit of a brush-off. A few weeks later the ward schedule changed (the building is shared and we swap turns as to who gets the morning time slot). Practically at the same time my work assignment changed so that Sunday afternoon attendance was not practical. And, I think the ward bishop changed, too. So, attending early morning Sunday Mass for an hour was do-able, attending three hours in the afternoon of ward services was impractical. And, as soon as I stopped attending, I was off the ward radar screen again. Not that I was ever on it: as I mentioned earlier, home teachers never had come to meet with me previously, and this never did change. The question in the OP was, why do people resign or leave? I went into the personal details of my own situation not because I was or am hurt by what happened, but to illustrate one way it is that people get "unplugged" and then decide that LDS Church membership just isn't important enough to them to worry about.

Keep in mind that there are several books now out through LDS pubkishers dealing with the issue of "faith crises". That even Church numbers reflect the smallest Church growth in many decades, despite record numbers of missionaries. That the "Millennial Generation" are showing a tremendous decline in interest in religion. And that church attendance is the lowest it has been for a very long time. The rumors of high numbers of resignations of LDS may be exaggerated or untrue, but there seem to be reasons behind the talk.

I went inactive because work kept me out of Sunday services at the same time that my former ward was split and I was assigned to a new one. Where I was a complete stranger. I'm not certain if I ever saw a home teacher again. I got a postcard once or twice, and I got a letter one time. But even when I attended regularly for a few months, even when I went to the Elder's Quorum President and got some home teaching assignments for myself, I don't recall seeing my own home teacher. He approached me in Church, got my phone #, but to my knowledge never called or came by. Incidentally, my own home teaching companion ducked doing HT'ing visits for a couple of months. So I went put on my own and found several of those assigned to us wanted no visits, and none of my assigned folks were active or interested in Church. When I stopped attending, I stopped hearing from the ward. A few years later I just started going to the Catholic Church. Their services fit better the lifestyle of someone with an erratic work schedule. Since I no longer identified as LDS, I eventually resigned.

Romans 8:29. Also Hebrews 2: 11.

Spend private time in prayer. If you have kids, take them toca park or forest where they can play while you read Scriptures and pray. If no kids: go somewhere safe and relatively private. Take walks and reflect. Practice the vitues you are learning and open yourself up to put on the Mind of Christ, to be led by the Holy Spirit. Read good books and literature: there is a lot available for free on LDS.com. Show forth an abundance of love to your husband and demonstrate to him that the Gospel is making you a better and happier person. Make sure your involvement in Church does not make you less attentive to him or to your home. However, make sure equally that your husband knows you are serious about this, that having a right relation with God and with His Church are important matters to you. As when two siblings become jealous of the attention you give to the other, you may need to communicate to your husband that loving Christ does not mean that you love him less: that your love for the Savior is of a different quality than the way you love and honor your spouse. Try to get your husband to come to ward dances, holiday parties, barbeques. But don't do these things to "win him to Mormonism", but as a way of including him in the new aspects of your life, to show him that he is a welcome padt of that lifestyle to which God has taken you. Don't encourage or invite opposition to your newfound faith by friends or family or coworkers. If others oppose you on religious grounds, thank them for their concerns but tell them you prefer not to discuss it with them. If people oppose you because of social issues, explain that you want to think of such matters in the way that God thinks on them. In reflecting upon such matters, you would appreciate that your private religious values be respected. Tell them they are welcome to address sincere questions to the missionaries or to attend an LDS meetinghouse but that you are just learning about the Faith and don't want your testimony challenged. Hope these things help!

Reading Jesus the Christ, The Holuse of the Lord, and/or The Articles of Faith, all by Talmage; or The Holy Temple by Packer are good ways to focus on the First Princples of the Gospel, or to learn a bit about the Temple. All are likely available in your ward library. All are good resources to help yourself deepen and broaden your faith and develop a perhaps gain a greater love for Temple ordinances. I am a resigned member, although strongly considering a return. I fell into inactivity after a few years due to a variety of circumstances, and eventualy left to attend a different church. I actually left once, under pressure from anti-Mormon critics. Years later I came back and things went well until a job change coincided with the splitting up of my ward and creation of a new ward. The new job kept me from attending Sunday services regularly, the members in the newly created ward were mostly strangers to me, and inactivity became an easy option. Although I eventually was able to attend a non-LDS Church, I have frankly missed being a Latter-Day Saint. I urge you to stay on track and eventually gain the strong testimony of Jesus and of His restored Gospel which will make you WANT to be a full member of His Church. I encourage you to stay active and to not allow any discouraging forces in your life--family, friends, or spirits of darkness--to deter you from making spiritual progress towards baptism. I have never been to a Temple. So what follows is based partly on what I have heard from others and partly on personal speculation. In the States, Missionaries are being encouraged to help investigators and the newly-baptised to do some preliminary genealogical work and then submit those names and do ordinances in behalf of those ancestors. This program is being rolled out worldwide as a way of encouraging new members to stay active. I can think of several reasons this is effective: A. It is a good way to be introduced to some aspects of the uniqueness of Mormonism. These ordinances are not something done by other Christian religions. You will come to appreciate the specialness of your newfound faith as you reach out to help your departed family members. B. It encourages the new Saint to maintain worthiness. It is easy to fall back into old habits and/or flag in one's zeal once one passes the 'goalpost' of baptism. But holding a Temple Recommend in one's hand, attending a temple, are tangible and real experiences which help affirm to oneself that great progress has been made. And to motivate oneself to further progression. C. One doesn't feel oneself cut out of the "clique". As other members talk about their temple experiences, it is easy to feel 'left out', as 'second-class'. If one experiences the Temple one one's own, this sense of exclusion is minimized. D. The Temple is a different encounter from a ward meetinghouse. It is, by all accounts, quieter, less "busy", and more conducive to experiencing the Spirit. Don't deprive yourself of the chance to incorporate this into your life. E. Going to the Temple with ward members can help you to form ties and gain acquaintances. Again, once baptised, the feeling of a convert that you really don't know anyone else in the ward can be discouraging. Riding with other members and interacting with them can help offset this. You won't hit it off with everyone just because you accompany them on a ward Temple trip: but over time you'll bond with more ward members and feel more a part of a family. I hope this is helpful for you. Please know you are in my prayers.

Wednesday will mark the 186th yar since the founding of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

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Why the King James version: A series of study notes, neither treatises nor essays, dealing with certain elementary problems and specific scriptural passages (Classics in Mormon literature) J. Reuben Clark