Budget

I take it your chapel has an exceptionally large front row.

Try the salted one to fit in your skinny jeans.
 
 

:choke: :gag: That's a bit too much butter.

He is not playing games with you and he his not stringing you along...  He has already clearly stated his intention and is acting accordingly.
 
You might want more...  that is to bad because he isn't going to give it to you.  You need to focus your attention elsewhere...  Until you do you will be stringing yourself along.
 

The guy said he doesn't want to be committed before a mission, as concealed by the Lord, and he's holding true to his word.  That's not a bad thing!  Don't except him to do otherwise, and just casually hang out for now.

Just a couple weeks ago there was a news story splashing all around the headlines about hot coffee and tea causing cancer due to temperature.  I think it was something like any hot beverage 150 degrees or hotter if I remember correctly.  That story was all over for about a week and then seemed to disappear as many health/medical stories do. 

I had a heart attack last Sunday after church. The ambulance went to the wrong house...so was delayed getting to my house. My husband saved my life as he allowed the Lord to work through him.
I can tell you for sure that there is a connection with the spirit world. Could it be a trick of the mind? Maybe... but, unless it has happened to you then you could never truly understand it. i truly believe it.
 
 

A lot of this has been a long time coming, but I'm slightly relieved to have this all off my chest finally. Well for some of you this may come as a shock, for others perhaps not. After almost 2 decades of marriage, I felt it was finally time to come clean, so please don't judge me yet, since only God can judge. Here goes... yesterday, I told my wife...
1. While in my younger years while playing a really hard to beat Nintendo game called "Contra", I would often use a "cheat code" to get more lives, UP, UP, DOWN, DOWN, LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT, RIGHT, B, A, START
2. I know that at some point I "lied" to one of friends and led him to believe that I was "just that good" at the game.
3. After I told my wife my childhood flaw, I gave her a kiss and told her "I'm leaving" to work now, to have a great day and would see her that night.
4. She reminded me I was in charge of dinner. "Help!", any suggestions on a good lasagna recipe??

On a serious note: Over many years of hearing criticisms of the Church or Gospel, it never ceases to amaze me how much of the information that is out there is "misleading". While the title of my post, "Finally told my wife, I cheated, lied and I'm leaving. Help!" is accurate, taken out of context it sure makes for a sensational headline, that can invoke a completely unwarranted response. I have no problem addressing concerns about honest factual truth, but I am often saddened by the number of people who only see headlines and don't read any further to get any context. This is a common method in which critics try to attack the church & gospel, using a narrative of partial/half truths.   
I have seen these sensational headlines pull people away from their testimonies and also scare investigators away. So how do you personally combat such tactics and strategies in your own lives? 

Latter-day Saints aren't kabalists or arithmantists. We don't put a lot of study into numerology, either.
Lehi

LP, your points may have merit in their own right; but their being offered at this particular juncture seems to reinforce my point.  A vicious murder is not the time to talk about (let alone make political hay out of) the injustices suffered by the perpetrator or his class; any more than Boko Haram's outrages against African schoolgirls are cause to instigate a discussion about whether the men's rights movement may have some legitimate grievances. 
But to engage your post a little more deeply:  There is a third reason to "blame the victim", beyond what you describe; and that reason is that sometimes the victim's preceding conduct is actually blameworthy, could only be stopped under the circumstances by the actions that were in fact taken, and that the continuation of the blameworthy conduct would have been intolerable for society.  Take Trayvon Martin, or Michael Brown.  Martin appeared to be actively casing houses for burglary in a neighborhood that had recently suffered several break-ins, and when Zimmerman intervened (by merely observing Martin from a distance) Martin ambushed him and began thrashing him to within an inch of his life.  Similarly with Michael Brown--he was was a jaywalker who happened to match the radioed description of (and in fact WAS) the perpetrator of a violent robbery in the vicinity mere moments before; and when police intervened he actively attacked the officer and tried to wrestle his gun away. The Black Lives Matter folks seem to fundamentally hold that neither Martin nor Brown should have even been approached in spite of the highly suspicious circumstances; and that--once each individual was approached and responded with potentially lethal violence--the (non-black) victims of that violence had no right to defend themselves from said violence.  I say that it's intolerable to demand a society in which suspicious behavior is not monitored, or criminals are allowed to go unconfronted due to their race, or goons are permitted to use lethal force unopposed against those who call them to account for their behavior.
Now, I'm not familiar with these more recent cases you cite.  I'm enough of a libertarian to be deeply uncomfortable with use of police force, and to understand that police sometimes act unjustifiably and then try to cover it up post hoc.  But for what it's worth, I don't consider BLM or their supporters to be allies against police overreach.  Ferguson gave them a golden opportunity to stand for the role of law enforcement as legitimate wielders of force in defense of the life, liberty and property of law-abiding citizenry, and they blew that opportunity spectacularly.  As far as I'm concerned, they're just a front group for agitators who are plotting a full-fledged race war in this country and who resent the police for being the law-abiding citizenry's first line of defense in that war.

The multiple directions this thread has gone makes one thing clear--a real-life counselor is hugely beneficial. One benefit of same-faith marriages is that husband and wife usually agree that spiritual leaders have a certain measure of God's anointing and authority.  So, to the OP--enlist help. Whether it's a bishop, a marriage counselor (some openly identify as having an LDS spiritual identity), or a trusted, mature family friend--do not go this alone.  I can think of lots of things to say to the OP, to MG and Anatess--but really, this calls for live help.  Everyone's writing from their own life's experiences, and how relevant and useful posted counsel is will vary wildly.  Fight for your marriage, through prayer and through the love-resources of your community of faith. If nothing else, you'll know you did what you could. 

This.
As a Mother I can tell you there is a deep, undeniable, instinctive, overwhelming urge to protect my babies. I don't know what I would have done in that situation, I can only guess or 'say' I would have done this or that. And for the record, I did feel bad when I read the article (not here, I read it a couple days ago on my own) that it seems he was probably homeless and had squatted there before.  But again - as a Mother, it's a deep, natural feeling to instinctively protect my child.  And this is a stranger... a man... in her home. Her personal space. Her child's bedroom no less.
 
If you break into my home... I'm not going to take time to discuss it with you.  I'm going to protect my family, my home and myself. 
 

This.
As a Mother I can tell you there is a deep, undeniable, instinctive, overwhelming urge to protect my babies. I don't know what I would have done in that situation, I can only guess or 'say' I would have done this or that. And for the record, I did feel bad when I read the article (not here, I read it a couple days ago on my own) that it seems he was probably homeless and had squatted there before.  But again - as a Mother, it's a deep, natural feeling to instinctively protect my child.  And this is a stranger... a man... in her home. Her personal space. Her child's bedroom no less.
 
If you break into my home... I'm not going to take time to discuss it with you.  I'm going to protect my family, my home and myself. 
 

... and for SO many different reasons it's silly to try to say "why" people leave the church.  There are a thousand.  Just like there are thousands of reason people don't.  It's so personal for everyone and involves so many things.

Father, spare this land for the sake of the Righteous.  Grant church and government leadership the wisdom of Solomon and Joseph.  Use Caesar to prosper and protect your church.  Use your church to prosper and protect this land.  Finally, LORD, draw your people with hope--to humble ourselves, repent of our sins, and pray that you would heal the land.  I ask these things in Jesus' matchless name.  Amen.

Ahh... I kept reading and reading - waiting for this question and answer.  Makes ALL the difference. Take a step back. Breathe and let him breathe.
Stop talking about it for now and let a little more time pass.  Even if it's just 6 months. 
The difference between 2 and 3 is pretty big. In another 6 months it's possible your husband will feel less pressure, start to enjoy the kids a little more (MANY guys do not really bond and enjoy the kids until they are 3 or so - it's not uncommon!) and it also gives him time to work through some exhaustion and depression which also go hand in hand a lot of times. 
My husband also adds; for some reason the thought of a 3rd child scared him.  Not only was he exhausted, but he said for some reason he felt more financially scared supporting a 3rd child; although there was no reason for the fear. Why would a family of 5 be much different than a family of 4?  It shouldn't really; We already had a girl and a boy. We had baby furniture, bedding, car seats, etc. and clothing for both sexes so really, the 3rd child wasn't going to be the financial investment the first 2 were.  But he was scared of the financials.  In the end we did nothing for a few months... just 'wait and see' and then we started to 'not not try' and when it happened it was great. We knew it was time.
 

Hi Jayfaye-
I think I will post my personal experience, and then include an additional post with some church guidance on the subject.  I am a man, so I'm on the opposite side of the coin. I don't know you or your husband, so my experience is personal and may have zero similarities to your situation. First, let me say that I'm sorry that you and your husband are experiencing a "difference" of opinion. For the moment it may feel like he sees black and you see white. That is not to say that at some future point you "both" can't see grey together. Is it him that needs to change or is it you? In reality it most likely is "both" of you that need to change some version of your views. Let me explain. 
I have felt this way before: "He doesn't feel capable of having more .... He cringes at the thought of more babies."
I grew up in a family of 6 children. I spent my life playing/doing stereotypical guy things: GIJoe, guns, snakes, forts, climbing trees, skateboards, etc. My 3 sisters in contrast spent a lot of time: playing house, Cabbage Patch kids, babysitting, playing dress up, Barbie, etc. I hate to admit it but I wasn't really groomed for my own kids in the future. My sisters on the other hand had "I have always, always wanted more than two." In contrast my sisters were groomed  more towards having children. 
Fast forward to me being married. Sure my wife and I in our young naive years talked in passing about "how many children do you want?". We both said around 5-6. What did we know, we never raised kids before? It was an easy answer at the time. 
After our 2nd child, I felt much like your husband, but the question is "why" did I feel like your husband. Do you know why your husband feels "incapable"? Do you know why he "cringes"? Do you know why he "does not enjoy small children"? Since I can't speak for your husband, let me share with you "why" I felt these ways:
1. TIRED: I was tired. I was tired all the time. Tired, tired and more tired again. I worked full time and "felt" like I came home only to relieve my tired wife so she could rest, but I never felt like I was getting rest. We don't do our best work as humans when we are tired. We can be quick to anger, quick to judge and often times become hostile towards whatever it is that is making us tired... in this case it was "small children". 
2. SELFISH: It "seemed" to me that I had lost my free time. All efforts were diverted to raising the kids: diapers, bath time, feeding, Dr. appt, missed classes at church, etc. Where was some time for "me"? I felt like I had lost it and again looked to blame the source of my perceived problem.
3. JEALOUS: I was no longer the attention of my wife. My wife's attention "felt" like it had all shifted to the babies, BUT what about me?? Our discussions were always about the "kids", but what about "us" and our marriage? Our date nights evaporated. Our sex life seemed spotty at best, we were both tired and she didn't feel sexy and not in the mood. My eternal companion felt like she had abandoned ship and went off with the kids. I felt only like a "bread winner" and not much more. She was off at play groups (support groups) for other young mothers... who did I have? Again, who was to blame for my marriage feeling distant?  Of course it was those small kids again, so I "thought".
4. DEPRESSION: being tired, selfish and jealous can only go on for so long before some version of "life kind of sucks" creeps in. 
So...
Did I want more kids? Um...Nope. My naive notion of 5-6 kids evaporated quickly. I wanted sleep, free time and my wife back more THAN I wanted yet another kid. The thought of more babies only = more tired, less free time, and less of a wife. 
Because you and your husband see black and white on this, you may need to step in and figure out the art of compromise. He wants 2, you want 4... perhaps you end up with 3 instead. My wife and I have 4 children, not 5-6, AND that is fine. Perhaps we might adopt in the future, but for now 4 is where we are at. I wish I could report that my wife and I really, truly discussed this in-depth during the time of 4 babies, but we didn't. It was only after the fact did we really come to terms on how to communicate clearly and identify root causes. You are in a unique position that you are seeking help "now". I would suggest speaking with your husband and getting to the very-very bottom of why he has made the choice that has. Don't settle for a surface answer, but dig until you clearly understand why. You may not like what he has to share, but at least you will really understand. In addition, once others have posted...invite your husband to read this thread with you. We are a neutral third party, and as such this thread my act as the catalyst to spark a more in-depth, less confrontation discussion. 
Next post will contain a more spiritual response vs. my imperfect human example. 

It sounds like you may have had a few misunderstandings about how we do things that may have led to your discontent.  
For us joining The Church IS baptism.  Yes, in many other denominations, joining is about just deciding to attend that congregation.  For us, it isn't.  Likewise being ordained a priest isn't what it is in other religions.  A Priest is an office in the lesser order of the Priesthood, called the Aaronic Priesthood.  Generally men are ordained priests within a month or so after joining The Church, but it can be much faster.  Generally a male raised in the Church is made a Priest at 16 years old. Below Priests are Teachers and Deacons.  Young men generally become deacons at 12 and teachers at 14.  Adult men who join the Church are rarely made Teachers or Deacons as Priests have all of the same duties and authority as Deacons and Teachers plus some of their own.  A man must be at least a Priest to baptize another. By the way, children raised in the Church are usually baptized at 8 years old.
As one must be a Priest to baptize another, it is not  (or at least was not in the past) uncommon for a man to be baptized, then confirmed a member (another necessary step that must be done by someone who is at least an Elder), then ordained to the office of a priest so that he can then baptize other of his family members. 
In other words while it IS a big deal, it isn't nearly the big deal that it would sound like to someone who has only dealt with more mainstream Christian sects. 
 
 

Wow. That's a lot of changes for you in a couple of weeks and such changes can be tough on anyone. I feel for you!
My first advice us to breathe. Take a nice deep breath and realize you don't have to a darn thing at this time. And you need some more time to take this in.
My thoughts and opinions, worth whatever you want:
If it makes you feel better I sat your boyfriend is rushing this just as much on you. He has every right to choose whatever faith he wants. You two sound serious, but when you're not married and states away I question just what explanations and permission he requires of you. So, sorry, you may need to just force yourself to deal with his choices.
Also recall you are under no obligation to join. Especially to get sealed and excommunicated, a very stupid idea on his part. With all due respect, I think it's a bit odd you've been happily dating for a couple of years and now with religion changes marriage is suddenly being forced up. Why now? 
I'm also a bit surprised he has already been ordained a priest.
You also say you want to cry when you hear about what he's doing at his church. May I ask what specifically is making you want to cry? 
You also worry about him becoming a different person than the man you love. This is a very legitimate and understandable fear. What are you afraid you will see in regards to changes? People change all the time because of various outside influences. Why this change and not something else? (I don't mean to sound accusing, just putting out that question for you to think about.)
Based on your one post and my limitations to know anything more than that, I venture to say you're overthinking this. It's new, joining a church is a big change, and I think you're trying to tackle the change all at once. Really no need to at this point, you have time. So, hugs to you. Take this at your pace. You can decide later what to do.

This.
As a Mother I can tell you there is a deep, undeniable, instinctive, overwhelming urge to protect my babies. I don't know what I would have done in that situation, I can only guess or 'say' I would have done this or that. And for the record, I did feel bad when I read the article (not here, I read it a couple days ago on my own) that it seems he was probably homeless and had squatted there before.  But again - as a Mother, it's a deep, natural feeling to instinctively protect my child.  And this is a stranger... a man... in her home. Her personal space. Her child's bedroom no less.
 
If you break into my home... I'm not going to take time to discuss it with you.  I'm going to protect my family, my home and myself. 
 

This.
As a Mother I can tell you there is a deep, undeniable, instinctive, overwhelming urge to protect my babies. I don't know what I would have done in that situation, I can only guess or 'say' I would have done this or that. And for the record, I did feel bad when I read the article (not here, I read it a couple days ago on my own) that it seems he was probably homeless and had squatted there before.  But again - as a Mother, it's a deep, natural feeling to instinctively protect my child.  And this is a stranger... a man... in her home. Her personal space. Her child's bedroom no less.
 
If you break into my home... I'm not going to take time to discuss it with you.  I'm going to protect my family, my home and myself. 
 

This.
As a Mother I can tell you there is a deep, undeniable, instinctive, overwhelming urge to protect my babies. I don't know what I would have done in that situation, I can only guess or 'say' I would have done this or that. And for the record, I did feel bad when I read the article (not here, I read it a couple days ago on my own) that it seems he was probably homeless and had squatted there before.  But again - as a Mother, it's a deep, natural feeling to instinctively protect my child.  And this is a stranger... a man... in her home. Her personal space. Her child's bedroom no less.
 
If you break into my home... I'm not going to take time to discuss it with you.  I'm going to protect my family, my home and myself. 
 

2 Timothy 4:3
3 For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears;
 
Prophetic!

I am an LDS woman married to an non-LDS man (he's an inactive Evangelical).  We are extremely happy in our marriage, and have an adorable 2 year old.  Interfaith marriages can work.
That being said, this relationship is HARD.  Every Sunday, I go to church by myself while husband sleeps in.  During 3 hours of church, I deal with a (sometimes screaming) toddler by myself.  I teach her about God by myself.  I read scriptures with her, by myself.  I had her blessed not by my husband, but by my dad.  When I need support for church stuff, I reach out to my gal friends and their husbands.   My husband is supportive of me, but as an outsider who chooses to have no involvement.  I'm preparing to go to the temple by myself- he is supportive, but doesn't remotely understand anything about it.   Some of his relatives are not supportive, if not downright hostile to little girl and I going to LDS church.
As for my husband, he sometimes thinks his Mormon-in-laws are crazy.  But he quietly sits through mission farewells, people talking about church stuff, etc, though he doesn't share the faith.  Sometime he cannot sit in, such as my sisters upcoming wedding.  We both deal with the occasional please-convert-now pressure from relatives and associates.  Thankfully, we do both agree on the many things at home (no alcohol, smoking, coffee, etc) to that's not an issue between us.  
 
 
A couple of other thoughts after reading your post---
1) Do NOT convert to be with this girl.  A person joining the LDS faith and being baptized is because of they feel God calling them that way.  If you (or anyone else) join the LDS church because of a girl and not because of God, then you are lying to God, the girl, and yourself.  Listen to what God tells you.
2) Yes, you could be sealed after your death.  This means  that if you choose to convert after death, your family (you two and the kids) can honor that sealing and be together.  If you do not choose to convert, it has no effect.
3) No, you may not give any blessing to your child as you are now.  Only a baptized LDS priest may give blessings.  It is quite similar to how in the Catholic church a non-baptisized non-priest person may not officiate the sacraments.  
4) Yes, God does want us to be happy.  But that happiness comes with us abiding by HIS plan, and not ours.  His plan for your happiness may or may not involve this girl, but it IS imperative that you Listen to His direction.

I had the same question as Anatess - I read your question as he is able to take you and both children with on the trip?   When we were able to go with my husband, we accepted he was there to do business and I was basically on vacation with the 3 children by myself until he was 'free' - at which time he would join us for the activities he could.  A 9 year old and newborn is fairly easy since the 9 year old can do so much themselves and newborns are so portable.  Just consider it a vacation for you and the kids when it's just you and the kids; and a 'family' vacation during the time your husband can join in!  Enjoy!