I am new to this site but am in the need of a little advice. I am nowhere near perfect and know that I have made a lot of mistakes in the past but I know that I need to make some changes. About 6 months ago my (now ex) boyfriend came home early from his mission because of mistakes we made together. We had gone through the repentance process many times and I felt that we were always on the same page that it was important to be completely clean but of course being young and stupid we kept making mistakes. It was obviously the right thing to do to come home since he hadn't fully repented but it had caused a lot of problems in our relationship. I struggle with depression now because of how awful I feel for ruining that experience for him and also hurting his family especially his mom. Things slowly got worse and we fought about anything and everything but it always ended up going back to my insecurities about him not being able to serve a mission anymore. Eventually he had to move away for school and decided that with all this fighting things would never get better. I don't blame him for wanting to end things since I have not been myself lately. I have been trying everything I can to stay positive and believe Heavenly Father will help us find each other again. I have talked to my bishop and am working on getting my patriarchal blessing and have been fulfilling my commandments the best I can. I know that Heavenly Father knows my pain and will help me get through this but I worry for my ex. I don't know if he's trying to deal with this situation the right way,he's forgotten his priesthood duties and when he left for school he stopped going to church and didn't seem to be the sweet honorable guy I fell in love with. He's been my best friend for the past four years and we were best friends long before we dated. I care about him and worry so much about how this experience is going to change him . We don't talk anymore but my feelings haven't changed. I love him and believe he makes me a better person. I don't want to lose hope or faith but I am so lost and confused on what to do.
