madasahatter

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  1. Hello! Sorry this is a little long, but this seemed like a good place to ask for advice. Born and raised LDS, both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, I found security in the church growing up and was pretty happy. But when I started to question the church, this also pulverized everything I thought I knew and made me feel broken. Until that point, the LDS church felt much simpler to accept. Now I'm more aware that the LDS church is a complicated thing to accept and that no religion can be guaranteed true, which leaves me with conflicted feelings. For whatever reason, I still feel the spirit and feel that it's true, despite everything that points to the opposite conclusion. Without it, life seems really dark and meaningless--the promises of being with your family forever just hit too hard home and I don't want to lose that. At the same time, though, I have read too much anti-mormon stuff and been disillusioned with too many of the church's current standpoints (ie: that women can't have the priesthood when many Christian churches ordain women, the exclusion policy affecting LGBT families) to connect it with the church I trusted when I was younger. How can I reconcile all of the conflicting feelings? I want to stay in the church and on a spiritual level I feel like it is the right thing to do, but I just can't trust it and don't know how to anymore. Have any of you felt that way? How do you hold on?