Iggy

When I left the church when I was 18 - I also moved out of my parents home. I began smoking cigarettes, pot, taking speed and drinking alcohol. Hated beer, tequila in all its forms and was allergic to gin - every brand of gin. Juniper berry actually. It tried it's best to kill me. The dark red wines trigger migraines - so they were easy to stay away from. I absolutely loved the smell and taste of whiskey. Good whiskey, top shelf stuff. Also loved the blends - either straight or made into the drink, Old Fashioned. From 1970 until 1983 I pretty much drank from 5 or 6 pm until 10 pm - 2 am. I quit drinking alcohol cold turkey. When life hit me with hard knocks, I would think - Man, I sure need a drink. But then to think of what I had to do to get one, well that actually stopped me from drinking. I didn't crave alcohol - I craved sugar. Since I was a bartender, I would eat sugar cubes. Then I would nearly empty the candy machine in the lobby. Then I started bringing my own bags of M&M's. Love me my M&M's! Plain, peanut, almond!! I quit smoking in 1999. Had my last cigarette just before bed on 2 June 1999. From my birthday 3 June 1999 to date haven't had a cigarette. Yes, I craved them for about a month after I quit. But I was using the 3 step patch and was warned NOT to smoke while using the patch. I was raised drinking coffee at an early age. Pretty much when we were weaned off of the bottle of milk, we were drinking half a glass of milk and half coffee. In reality, we had to drink up our 8 oz of 2% milk, THEN we could have 1/2 cup coffee topped with milk. When we started Jr. High (7th through 9th grade), we could now have 3/4 cup of coffee with 1/4 cup milk after meals and only after we drank our 8 oz of 2% milk. In High School, we could have a full cup of coffee, anytime during the day, with or without meals. Mom and Dad quit drinking alcohol pretty much when I was about 5 months old. The story is that they went out to a barn dance, got drunk and came home to their 4 kids who had chickenpox. I was the baby (bro. @ 8yo, sis # 1 @ 7yo, sis #2 @ 4yo). It wasn't until the following morning that they discovered just how sick us kids were. Both parents had killer hang-overs and then had to take care of feverish, miserable kids and a baby who also had diarrhea. Mom said what set her over the edge was the three buckets of crappies the neighbor brought over as a gift. Just looking at those little fish caused her to lose her cookies. She sent the girl who had babysat all of us, and who stayed overnight, to our Grandmother's home so she could come get those buckets of fish and clean/cook them. Consequently, they didn't allow the relatives to enter our home drunk. Mom's brothers were the only relatives living near us, and both were mean drunks. Now, if their wives wanted a night out, away from their kids AND husbands to drink and dance, our folks had them bring the kids to our house to spend the night. The Aunts were to pick their children up the next afternoon. They pretty much came with awful hangovers, and Dad would make them a concoction to drink to clear it up and make it all better. I quit drinking coffee once I came back into activity in 1998. Also went through migraines - again! So I started drinking coffee again. Once the migraines ceased, I then started the regime of reducing the caffeine-laden coffee with decaf. Took me months to get down to 100% decaf. Then I went to Pero. It has been years of drinking Pero and I still haven't found the right amount to add to the cup to keep it from tasting like badly roasted cereal, and no - I won't try Postum. There is no way I am going to pay the price they want for a 2-4 oz jar of floor sweepings! At least with Pero, the price is relatively cheap for the amount you get. AND it really does taste closer to coffee than Postum does. I never drank coffee hot. Always it has been warm to ice cold. Yep, in-the-cup-cold. My Dad was a cowboy in his youth. He worked for ranchers who drank boiling hot coffee made over an open fire. He never drank it hot either - that is where I learned it from. If there was a coffee cup or more of coffee left over, then we poured it into ice cube trays and froze it. At lunch, Mom, Dad, and Grandma would have iced coffee. Dad told me that those cowboys and ranchers who drank that boiling hot coffee pretty much cooked their taste buds and throats. He didn't enjoy his coffee that hot, and he sure as the dickens didn't want to scald his mouth & throat or destroy his taste buds. He enjoyed the flavor/taste of foods way too much. For the past 8 years, I am back to drinking warm to cold coffee. *Leaded* coffee. With the level of arthritic pain, the meds I am taking, and the grand total of Aleve/Tylenol per day that I am allowed, drinking coffee aka caffeine helps with the pain management. My Stake President is aware as is my Branch President. Both have signed off on my Temple Recommend.

From: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Church_of_Jesus_Christ_of_Latter_Day_Saints_(Strangite) Seriously, this is where they are more than STRANGE and to me is enough proof that they are NOT LDS.

I was raised in a NON-LDS home. Grandma was famous in the Faith, SD area (about a 100-mile radius) for her pies, cakes, cookies, cobblers, cake donuts and raised donuts. When she made fruit cake, she quadruples wraps it in cheesecloth & then aluminum foil AFTER she soaked it in rum. Then she set it aside to 'Cure' or until the rum was all soaked up. Children were NOT allowed to have any. But the adults were all encouraged too. Later as an adult, I didn't like it that way. Didn't like it soaked in whiskey, bourbon or vodka either. I loved the non-alcoholic fruitcake that she soaked in apple cider or cranberry juice. She also used coffee, strong, like three times the strength, to make gravy for baked hams. All she ever did to the ham was score it like a checkerboard and put whole cloves in the crossings, then bake it. All the drippings were then softened with the coffee. She then made the gravy using cornstarch rather than flour. When I wasn't allowed third and fourth servings of potatoes AND that delicious gravy, I had gravy over bread. Mom added coffee to her Boston Baked Beans instead of water - then baked it in the oven. Same with her Chocolate Devil Cake, she used coffee instead of water or milk in her chocolate frostings too. I tried using coffee in place of the milk/water when I made Peanut Butter frosting for the Spice Cake I had made. It was okay, but I didn't repeat it. Want a difference in your cakes, frostings, ham gravy? Use soda pop. Add cola drinks to the chocolate ones, 7UP, Sprite, Sierra Mist, etc. to the others. Orange to orange. @Vort Rum balls are soaked in rum and not baked. So, the alcohol doesn't get cooked out. Here is a recipe that is similar to what my ex-mil used to make: https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/10211/chocolate-rum-balls-i/ Back in my *previous life* when I was really, really inactive and quite the drinker of alcohol drinks - I dearly LOVE Rum & Coke, Rum, Coke, lime squeezed in it aka Cuba Libre, Hot Buttered Rum, Bacardi 150% Rum on the rocks or in hot coffee or hot tea. BUT I detested Rum Balls. They are flat-out nasty. I also loved me my Baileys, Kalua, Irish Creme, - - - you know to save space let's just put down what I didn't like to drink, that list is much shorter: Tequila, Gin, Wines. If at a restaurant they add wine to a dish, I request that they substitute apple juice or grape juice. NOT because the latter is alcohol-free, but because the taste to me is infinitely better. IF the cook/chef says no, then I tell them the real truth, I am allergic to alcohol. Even one (01) swallow is enough for my throat to swell shut, the gums & cheeks to swell, and for me to pretty much start choking - to death. No, I don't carry an Epi-pen, because when the cook/chef AND the manager hear that - they quickly comply. Even substituting pineapple juice works great.

https://www.lds.org/manual/true-to-the-faith/death-spiritual?lang=eng Spiritual death is separation from God. The scriptures teach of two sources of spiritual death. The first source is the Fall, and the second is our own disobedience.

I envision not only Joseph Smith, Jr. but ALL of the Prophets hanging out with each other, counseling with Jesus Christ. Oh, also ALL of those who have passed through the veil of mortal life and are being taught the Gospel of Jesus Christ, or are teaching it. My first, middle and last impression of the "mingling with Gods" to be referring to the First Vision. As for the "death cannot conquer..." I take that to mean, Spiritual Death."

Huh??? There were no personal attacks, but thanks anyway.

Should that Hymn stay? Absolutely!

@Alia for every constructive piece of advice presented to you here, you put up a negative roadblock to. You also are 'flip-flopping', IOW your responses are not staying the same. It gave me a headache trying to gather all the data to present here on each and every opposite response you have given. Own up to the fact that the human male you married has yet to mature into a man. Own up to the fact that you are enjoying the conflict in your mind. Seems to me this Passive-Aggressive attitude is your addiction. Keep this attitude up and your son will most definitely become the victim. Children see, hear, feel and absorb the emotional, mental, AND physical negativity/ abuse that is played out around them from the time they are born until they reach an age where they can escape the home. Is this what you want for your son? If you want to stay home more and be the nurturing mother, then JUST DO IT! Why in creations name do you allow this immature husband of yours to continue with the mental/emotional blackmail? cut off hubby's access to YOUR income. Completely cut off access to the Wifi, TV, Internet, food that he does NOT purchase with his own money. Open a bank account in your own name, empty your joint account of all the money YOU deposited, leaving only the money HE had deposited. Protect yourself financially and don't for one second believe that he won't get custody of your son. Call his bluff. IF he leaves you, then fine, you are no longer paying for a freeloader. Fine, he has shown his true colors and you are better off with him gone now as opposed to later when more emotional damage has been absorbed by your son. Unless of course, you enjoy being the martyr, but must you make your son a martyr also???

It is not ransom, it is holding him accountable. Um, you said: the bolded part below in particular ~ doesn't get him dressed, he actually claimed he forgets (this is plural aka multiple times) to feed him. To me, that is Neglect, pure and simple!

Oh, you are so correct though! He left the church shortly after being refused the Melchizedek Priesthood. You work and earn an income, you pay tithing. He refused to pay tithing. AND he got bored with the very modest young women. They wouldn't even play kissing games [rolling eyes]. Every one of them - in our ward, in our Stake even - had a moral compass that they fervently adhered to. Don't get me wrong, I love my brother, but even at the young age of 16 I acknowledged that he was shallow, selfish and had a LOT more growing up/maturing to do. He did - but all of us girls in the family (I am one of five) far surpassed him by the time he was 30 and a father for the first time. Us girls are all younger ~ 1 to 14 years younger. Fortunately for his two children, fatherhood brought a change in him. A good change. He put the NEEDS of his family first, over his wants. Let me also add that his wife worked full time. The children were sent to babysitters and day care. They were latch-key children. BUT my brother worked 8-5 and not on week-ends. All of his free time was spent with his children.

And just like any addict he will have to hit rock-bottom, realize he has hit rock-bottom, acknowledge he has hit rock-bottom and CARE enough to pull himself up by his bootstraps, and seek professional help to get back on the right track. Oh, and he also has to Grow Up, and you have to step back and let him hit rock-bottom and to grow up all on his own.

@Alia I have yet to hear you say Need in it's proper position in your marriage. You do understand the major difference between Need and Want when it comes to the financial part of your marriage. You make out budgets, follow them and do great. You purchase and pay for the Needs of your household. Husband, on the other hand does not. He Wants material things, and you give it to him. Re-budget your marriage and only fulfill the NEEDS, and toss out the WANTS. You are a litigator - so litigate your marriage with this lazy immature man you have married. Then stand firm and follow through. If it were me, I would open my own checking & savings accounts in MY name only, and NOT deposit my paycheck into the joint account - if hubby wants money for his games then he will have to go get a job or have his mommy pay for them. If hubby wants to eat, then he will have to pay for it himself. I would work only part time and from home as much as possible - with-in my professional field. Don't waste that legal education that you paid so dearly for. AND I would toss him out on his lazy bum - he has his own Mother to support him. NOT feeding his child, NOT dressing him, caring for him is - - - -CHILD NEGLECT! Are you going to wait until your child is seriously ill from his father neglecting him, and you in absentia doing the same - - ignoring the NEEDS of this child before you, yes YOU step up to the Parental Plate and putting THAT child's needs first?

Welcome @Word Chasing It is refreshing to have a non-LDS but open minded regarding the LDS faith person join our forum. You mention you have read The Book of Mormon and the Doctrine & Covenants, have you also read the Pearl of Great Price? https://www.lds.org/scriptures/pgp?lang=eng My oldest brother started going to the LDS church to join their scout troop. After my brother started going to scouts at the LDS church, which was held on Wednesday night - - the same night as the girls his age group attended Mutual. Well that got his attention. He wanted to see more of these girls so he started attending on Sunday's. I am 8 years younger than him, and I idolized him and wanted to do everything he did. Like go fishing, playing ball, riding bicycles. My parents felt that going to church with him was a lot safer than trying to keep up with him and his buddies on a bicycle. It took the LDS Missionaries just under a year teaching him before he got baptized. He was 17. I was 14 when I got baptized. I have never read the Book of Mormon, cover to cover. Not even when challenged by several Prophets, Young Women leaders, Bishops, Stake Presidents, etc. I try, but just can't seem to stick to it. Doesn't change my testimony of the truthfulness of what is contained in it. I haven't read the entire D&C either. Doesn't change my testimony of the truthfulness contained in it either. Haven't read the Bible cover to cover either, doesn't change my testimony of the truthfulness contained in it either. It wasn't until I was 47 years old that I even knew the Pearl of Great Price even existed. I had gone to the Portland, OR Temple with the Branch members to do baptisms for the dead with the Young Women, and as I was walking out of Deseret Book I was handed the book - free. On the drive home, sitting in the back sear of my best friends car I read the entire book. Cover to cover. Fascinating!

From my own experience and by being the Escort for three sisters ~ on the day you will be receiving your endowment go about two hours early and head straight to the Distribution Center. Don't bother with purchasing a dress and ceremonial that day - you can rent all of that at the temple. Talk with the sisters at the DC about fabrics, styles. Feel the fabrics and really listen to the sister(s). Buy three sets to start out with. The garments are less expensive now compared to when I got mine back in 2001. The reason I say not to buy your dress and ceremonial items for your first time is you are going to be bombarded with so many new experiences and sensations, lessen the load ~ so to speak. My two older sibling sisters bought my first everything the day I was endowed. They bought what THEY liked/preferred to wear and I was too much in a fugue state [satan was really bashing me to keep me out of the temple, I was so physically sick with a cold or the flu. BUT the two blessings I had ~ one on the Sunday before I went and the second that morning before we set out from home, told me that THIS was the right time, that the Lord will walk with me, guide me and shield me from satan while I was in the Lord's home.], so I let them pick out everything. Days afterward, I realized that I didn't like the fabric of the garments - TOO warm, TOO scratchy for me. One of the gifts I received from a couple member was money to purchase my garments. So, I counseled with that sister and another one regarding fabric and style - and when we went on the next Branch Temple Day (back then we went to the Temple as a Branch every three months) I purchased the fabric I am now wearing - DriSilque. Unfortunately it is being discontinued as bottoms but for now I can still get the square neck top. Also the 100% nylon of the dress, slip, etc. made me miserably hot when I wore them. After, you can go online or go back to the DC to look at the dresses that are available - because this is your first purchase the dress, ceremonial items, slippers, & socks will all be 50% off, but only if you purchase them through the church. It was in 2006 that I finally found my temple dress through Dressed In White, an online company that is LDS. My body is wired differently and all of the man made fabrics are too warm for me. What I mean is I sweat like crazy - from the top of my head to the soles of my feet. Considering they keep the inside temperature of the temples I have been in at around 78 - 80 degrees F - THAT is too warm for me. My dress is 100% cotton, I no longer wear a full slip but instead wear culotte style (pettipants), and my socks are white compression knee socks (diabetic feet/legs), my slippers are Dearfoam brand. Once I have my home office/work space cleaned & set up - I will make my ceremonial items out of 100% cotton - IF it is still permissible to do so. Also, when you receive your Endowment, you will have an Escort who will be right there to help you through EVERYTHING - choose a sister from your ward to be your Escort, and counsel with her regarding the purchase of everything temple related and do this well in advance of The Day.

I am thankful for a compassionate husband. He is a righteous priesthood holder, holds and honors a temple recommend. He anchors me. Calms me when he sees and senses that I am nearing an emotional & verbal eruption. He cries with me. Laughs with me. Sometimes he even laughs at me - which actually brings me off my high horse and back into reality. I am so thankful he is my Eternal Companion. We met & married late in this mortal life [14 years ago], I was 52 he was 62, hence we won't be spending much time as mortals, but we WILL be together for Eternity!

Back in the 90's [I was 38 to 46 yo] when I was working at a hardware store, my departments to order for, stock and assist the customers was plumbing, electrical and sporting goods. After two years, my forte became electrical followed by plumbing and I detested sporting goods. In my third year working there, this guy who owned a vacation home in my town told me that he was the guy who was a teacher/professor in one of the colleges near us and he taught those who wished to become electricians. He told me that I had the flair for it and he would sponsor me. NOT loan me the money, but pay for all my education, training, etc. I talked it over with my husband [then husband] and he totally vetoed it. I would have to quit my job, live near the college and come home on week-ends. I had the same opportunity to apprentice under (with?) one of our county's BEST plumbers. Would still have to quit my job, BUT I wouldn't have to move. BUT being a plumber really is a dirty job. I have claustrophobia and cannot be crawling under homes. Again, my then husband vetoed that. In hindsight, I really wish I had pursued becoming an electrician. In 1999 I separated from then husband, quit my job at the hardware store, went to work for a grocery store. At the age of 48 I enrolled in a federally funded program that re-educated me. Took three days worth of tests and discovered that I had the smarts to pursue several different career paths. The one that peaked my interest was a type of secretary. I took Microsoft Office course online - aced it by the way. Then met second [and last hubby], married and moved 1,332 miles away. There I hired on with an independent insurance agent and excelled as an Agribusiness CSR. Now, back to the fed. funded program. My tests showed that I would and should pursue the legal system. I didn't want to be a lawyer - but being a para legal, that felt like it could really work for me. Yet I went after the Microsoft Office - - Word, Excel, Power Point. Had I remained in Oregon - my advisor would have told me that BOTH work well together. Anyway, second husband kept telling me that through his job at ASU I could take any course at ASU for free. Pursue anything my heart desired. Become a para legal. Or become a Private Investigator - I excel at finding things/people [both alive and dead]. I didn't do any of that.

Since bagged salad first was available to restaurants, I have ALWAYS rinsed them with vinegar then, and now with a bottled fruit/vegetable wash that is gmo free AND organic. Why? Because the restaurant where I worked didn't READ the packaging where it stated to "Wash thoroughly before serving". ALL of the lunch and dinner patrons who ate salads got sick. Like in the worst kind of diarrhea. Foaming - explosive kind, that landed most in the ER. I was one of them! That was back in the 80's. I much prefer the bagged salads - and I always wash [soak in a bowl that is three to four times too big so that all the greens are covered] with the fruit/vegetable cleaner for a minimum of 15 minutes and no longer than 1 hour. Pour into a large colander, then transfer to a salad spinner and spin while running cold water through it. Then I spin it as dry as I can. I then dump onto a 100% cotton woven towel and pat as dry as I can get it before re-bagging into a 1.5 gallon zip bag. The least amount of water left will cause the leaves to wilt and turn into slime. I do the same with bagged [or in those plastic clam shells] baby spinach. IF the spinach or salad comes in a plastic clam shell - then I wash the inside of the shell with the solution, rinse and wipe dry with paper towels. I don't normally purchase romaine, as we prefer the other variety of salad greens. I also don't get iceberg. Hate that variety. NOW- I think that e-coli is spread not only by poor sanitation but also because human body waste is in the irrigation water, and the plants take it up through the roots and also from surface watering. THAT is my thoughts and beliefs - not from any scientific documents.

I just re-read my PBlessing - My two eldest Sisters' PBlessings specifically states that they are adopted into . . . Then my little sister's youngest grandson's states that he is of the tribe of Daniel. Yet his parents are of . . . of the tribe of Joseph and Ephraim. Unfortunately my mother never received hers. She was baptized when she was 52, two years after my father passed. She received her Endowment in 1987 - when she was 65. WHY my three sisters didn't see that she also received her PBlessing, well - I will have to ask my surviving older sister now won't I? I didn't, because I was inactive at the time and didn't know anything about endowments and patriarchal blessings.

If you have Zout https://www.walgreens.com/store/c/zout-laundry-stain-remover-spray/ID=prod2056057-product?ext=gooKBM_PLA_-_All_Products&pla&adtype=pla&kpid=sku2055537&sst=_k_CjwKCAiA8rnfBRB3EiwAhrhBGt3XEi_A7QvtBFZwd9eROrYs6nkM1JpExbGZX_3cmZ7bSNvw6QUb-RoCA5sQAvD_BwE_k_&gclid=CjwKCAiA8rnfBRB3EiwAhrhBGt3XEi_A7QvtBFZwd9eROrYs6nkM1JpExbGZX_3cmZ7bSNvw6QUb-RoCA5sQAvD_BwE available in the stores in your area use that directly on the stains, gently rub or brush in (I have a nail/hand brush for this) then wash in the hottest water recommended for your garments. IF you used Dawn, you will need to drastically reduce the amount of laundry detergent other wise be prepared to rinse three or more times to get it all out. Also Grease Relief https://www.walmart.com/ip/Grease-Relief-All-Purpose-Degreaser-and-Cleaner-22-Oz/756813964 is great. NOTE: Check each item that you treated BEFORE you put it in the dryer. IF the stain is not gone, spray/treat and wash again. Putting it in the dryer will set the stain. My husbands 100% cotton garments would get stained from lots of different chemicals including different kinds of oils at work. We didn't give a rat's patootie about his work pants and shirts - but de-staining his garments was quite a challenge. Rather than guess what the stain was, I had to do the 20 questions with him about what he did at work each work day to match the stain to his knickers. Oh, then there was the tomato based sauce stains from his lunch from the Mexican restaurants. Zout to the rescue there!! Need to get blood out ~ doesn't matter if it is old and dried on or fresh, just as long as it hasn't already been through the wash. Pour Hydrogen Peroxide on it, rub the fabric together, add more Hydrogen Peroxide, repeat until all the blood is gone. Now wash in the machine!!! A surgical nurse gave me that hint. That is how she got her clothes AND garments clean of blood and how the hospital laundry got EVERYTHING clean of blood.

Wish there was a Newly Wed/Nearly Dead ward in my area. Like my sister goes to. The screaming babies, loud jabbering toddlers and gossiping [again loudly] teens with each other and their 30-40 something mothers drive me and Hubby insane! Even wearing the Comtek devices doesn't screen all of that out. I absolutely love my sisters ward. Hearing ALL of sacrament, GD and RS without the use of the Comtek device is pure, reverent bliss!!!

Your children are IA??? Like Data from Star Trek, Next Generation???

@anatess2 you have such a wonderful openness and oneness with your children - I admire you for that. Have to be honest here, I had to google kinesthetic to find out it's meaning. I am a visual learner and person. When I worked in a hardware store, I was the one who could *see* their plumbing or electrical problem just by them describing it. Same goes with any one describing nearly anything to me. I form a picture in my mind and by doing that come to an understanding/knowledge of what is being said. Lectures on the other hand are picture-less to me, unless the professor/teacher uses visual aids. [when at church during GD or even RS, if the teacher is "lecturing" my eyes roll back and I am out/down for the count!] My MOST difficult time in school was my intro to High School. In my part of the US [Seattle WA], and in the years 1965-1966 in which my Freshman year was at the Jr High school & Sophomore year [1966-1967] was at the High School. To me ALL but my Home Economics [cooking & sewing] teachers might as well have been speaking in a mashed upped language of Greek and Gibberish. Even their writing on the blackboard made no sense to me. My parents sat me down and we had a wonderful heart to heart to heart talk/discussion. My Mom attended my classes to understand what I was trying to explain to her. Yep, she saw it and heard it. Even talking with my teachers after class - she had a very hard time understanding them. Poor pronunciation, enunciation, slurring words together. Their handwriting on the black boards was even worse. My Mom had taken shorthand in school as well as Latin and she couldn't make sense. All three of us went to the Principle with this and he and his Vice Principle attended my classes and THEY couldn't understand them either. No, the teachers didn't get fired, but they were educated on speech and penmanship. Have you had your son explain what is happening from his perspective? He learns from visual AND touching - does this include him drawing and creating to help others understand him?

@Tyme I'm going to address the smoking. @MormonGator e-cigs or vaping is WORSE than smoking regular cigarettes. Read why https://www.webmd.com/lung-cancer/vaping-lung-cancer @Tyme I smoked 1 to 1.5 packs of menthol cigarettes (menthol are the worst on the esophagus and lungs) for 29 years. Four times during those years I tried to stop by going cold turkey. Never lasted longer than about 18 hours. Finally, after losing 35 pounds and thinking that NOW I would be able to breathe better with that excess weight gone, imagine my shock and despair when after nearly falling to my knees after rushing up 22 stairs to get some products at work! Talking with a RN friend of mine about that, she suggested that I try one of the patch's for quitting smoking. I can't remember the brand name, only that it was the 3 patch program. Because I am so very susceptible to drugs, I started out with Patch 2. Was on that for the 6 weeks, then dropped down to Patch 3. Another girlfriend of mine had a partial pack of the Patch 3, it only had 6 patches instead of 7. By the time I used the last one, I realized that my craving for cigarettes was gone. Along with using the patches, I used carrot, celery and english cucumber sticks as substitutes for the cigarette holding hand to mouth habit. I had learned the hard way to substitute a healthy habit when I quit drinking alcohol. I craved sugar then, and ate so much I gained 50 pounds in 5 months! Also, I was told by the support group I joined through the Patch company that I would need to Clean Up my home of residual smoke/nicotine on the ceilings, walls, furniture & fabrics. Shortly after going on the patch, I spent two weeks scrubbing my 14' x 50' trailer house. From the ceilings to the floors. Didn't scrub the upholstered furniture or the carpets. Did take all the window coverings down and launder them as well as super scrubbing the windows. Also, the bathroom (where the washer & dryer were) was THE hardest to get clean of the nicotine. The tub/shower wall unit was so infused with the nicotine that it took a week of spraying pure bleach on the walls, closing the bathroom door with the exhaust fan on and stuffing a throw rug under the bottom door gap so that my cat and dog wouldn't get "gassed" to death! I would leave it on all day while I was at work. Then come home and rinse it all off. Then repeat & rinse for the full 7 days. I scrubbed all the paneling, and the entire trailer was all that cheap paneling, with pine sol, TSP and HOT water. I could only do 8 foot wide section each day after work, and during the week ends I would do all of the cupboards and 1/4 of the wood furniture. BUT once the smell of stale tobacco was gone when I entered a warm home (literally warm, as in 75-78 degrees), that trigger to smoke was eliminated. The directions on the Patch said to spend less time in the rooms where you smoked the most, occupy the rooms where you didn't smoke more. Well for me, the only "room" I didn't smoke in was the clothes closet! I removed all of the ashtrays. Not just washed them up and put them in a cupboard - I removed them from the house. Gave them to the Salvation Army! When my then husband came home from working [he installed vinyl siding on homes and would be in another town/county for weeks at a time] I made him smoke out on the porch. He even turned the entertainment unit with the TV on it to face the window so he could still watch & hear the TV. He had to use cleaned out tuna cans for ashtrays since all of ours were gone. Back then, the cost of the box of Patch 2 was the same as a carton of my cigarettes. By the end of the 6th week the cost of a carton of cigarettes had gone up $1.50, BUT the cost of the patch remained the same. For a year I kept tabs on the cost of the cigarettes - at on my one year anniversary of quitting, I had saved nearly $3,500.00!!! Of course I didn't subtract the cost of the patches - I wanted the saved dollar amount to be more. It took me nearly 5 years to quit liking the smell of second hand smoke - the wafting coming from someone walking by, or who stood too close to the doorway of the store where I was a cashier at. Now, after 19 years, that smell is repugnant and offensive to me. When a heavy smoker walks by me they stink so bad. Want to know what you smell like @Tyme? Dump your full of cigarette ashes and butts ashtray BUT don't wipe it out or wash it. Add a bit of HOT water then smell it. Yep, that is EXACTLY what you smell like. After smoking all day and NOT brushing your teeth & mouth after your lunch, then you talk to someone, THAT is EXACTLY what your breath smells like. Had someone told me that around the second or third time I was trying to quit, believe me, I would have tried much, much harder to quit and stay smoke free. I have always detested smelling bad. Showered twice a day, used deodorant multiple times during the day. NEVER wore my work clothes twice in a row, etc., etc., etc. Now @Tyme let's talk about the cessation of coffee. YES it is the caffeine that is a true addiction. Going off of it - all of it [soda drinks that are packed with caffeine, root beer that has caffeine in it, power drinks that are packed with caffeine AND high fructose content, tea, even Hot Chocolate] not just coffee. To ease the intensity of the withdrawal headaches, drink half caffeinated coffee with half decaf. One large tin of each mixed into a much larger container. Then when that is empty, mix a small container of caffeinated coffee with a large container of decaff. By the time that is empty, your addiction should be ended. At least with me it was. I had been drinking coffee since I was 5 years old. Half cup of coffee with half cup of milk. Every three years the amount of coffee increased by 1/4 of a cup until I was drinking black coffee. My entire family of 11 people were coffee drinkers. Us children had a coffee cup at every meal AFTER we drank our 8oz of milk. Us kids didn't even hear about the LDS church until my oldest brother was 15 (I was 7 and the middle of 7 children). ALL of us kids drank their first cup of half coffee half milk/cream at the age of 5. We only drank tea in the form of iced tea and only during the summer. We drank hot coffee year round, and iced coffee in the summer also. LOVE iced coffee. I am not fond of hot chocolate, never have been. I love quite a few of the herbal infusions, BUT one must be very careful of mixing them. I drink tepid coffee. My Stake Presidency and Branch Presidency know this and they sign my temple recommend. I also prefer Pero over all of the other "Coffee" substitutes. It took me several years to get the right amount per coffee mug - too much is nasty, too little is nearly as nasty. I drink them all black w/splenda. One thing I learned from a dear friend who is a recovering alcoholic is, you MUST trade a bad habit with a good, healthy habit. Doesn't need to be a good, healthy food - just a good, healthy habit. Along with using carrot, celery and cucumber sticks as substitutes, I kept my hands busy with writing in a journal. Then super busy writing letters to my friends that 1st Husband tried to keep me from. @Carborendum in 2006 I was diagnosed with Type II Diabetes. One of the things that my Dr wanted me to reduce was my drinking carbonated drinks (they dehydrate your body) and caffeine drinks (which also dehydrate your body). I complained about needing the Wake Me Up of caffeine and she told me that 8 oz of UN-sweetened Apple juice will do the same as three 6oz cups of coffee! Guess what? She was right. After going off of carbonated drinks, and NOT quitting the caffeine- I got severe cramps in my feet and legs, then in the muscles of my lower back and abdomen. Often all at the same time, like around 2-3 am! The only thing to ease/stop the cramps was drinking electrolyte drink. Mix 1 quart water; 1/2 teaspoon baking soda; 1/2 teaspoon table salt; 3 to 4 tablespoons sugar [real sugar NOT any of the substitutes]. This does NOT store well for longer than 12 hours. I also add about 1 tablespoon or more of crystallized lemon or lime juice for flavor. BUT to know when you no longer need to drink it and to drink PLAIN water, don't add the flavoring. When you can taste the salty sweet, that is when you no longer need it. I had come back into activity a year before I quit smoking, so that when I went on the patch, and felt I was getting close to buying another pack of cigs - I would call my HT and Branch President and request a blessing. They always came through, and those many, many blessing also came through. I never slid back into smoking. I also had the mindset of Not Setting Myself Up To Fail. Like some of the others have said, if you back slide, pick yourself up and quit again!

Back in 2001 or 2002 we had an Elder who brought his own bread machine, cookware, & flatware. His identical twin did the same at his mission on the other side of the world. I & my VT/HT couple (who are also my BFF) supplied him with raw foods to cook. Flour & yeast are rather cheap - so we gave him the makings for meals. I had signed up to feed them along with a couple who were investigating the church. This Elder asked if I would change the dinner date to their P day and he would come over and fix the dinner. Blew me away when he showed up with is cookware ~ drum roll please ~ A medium large Wok, a single burner that used a small propane tank, electric rice cooker and his Professional Knife set which was all rolled up in a beautiful leather and satin carrier. I had bought all the fresh vegetables, and chicken breasts w/skin and bones that he had asked for. I already had rice- like 50 pounds of the pearl rice and a 25 gallon container of soy sauce about half full.[my ex was 1/2 Japanese & his Mom had taught me how to cook the foods he liked] He stopped the bread machine after its' kneading cycle, and I formed the soft bread sticks. The rice was cooking away in the machine. He enlisted his companion & the couples help in slicing the vegetables, he skinned and thin sliced the chicken, and then in front of all of us AT the table, he cooked the most delicious chicken stir fry I have ever eaten, and believe me I have eaten a lot of different styles at a lot of different homes and restaurants. The next time I fed him and his companion I made them my Mom's recipe for Beef Stew. The gravy is always thick- and it is served with still-warm-from-the-oven yeast bread rolls or this time I made large soft bread sticks made with olive oil and added fresh rosemary. I didn't have an electric bread machine. What I had was an ancient Oster Kitchen Center w/the works - that I used to make from scratch bread. Back then was the beginning of my inability to mix and knead over 4 cups of flour into bread. My BFF's oldest son taught me how to adapt my Mom's White Bread recipe and use his Osker *Wonder Machine* [which I inherited when he passed not quite a year before this dinner]. @askandanswerHave him ask the RS Sisters to ALSO supply them with toilet paper, and that he needs to inform his Mission President and the Ward Mission Leader of the motley set of kitchenware that is there. Oh, also the RS - that should get some results!