EllieBelle2015

My vote is to do both of your future selves a favor and break it off for good.  Save his number as "NO!" so you know not to pick up or reply.  Tell him exactly why you are ending the relationship and avoid saying anything about "maybe in the future if..."  Write him a letter if you have to.  It may hurt him now, but it will hurt both of you much worse if you continue down the path you're on right now.  I also recommend you work on doing what you need to do in order to feel emotionally available again.  (Said the pot to the kettle.)  Otherwise, you're keeping yourself open to entering this same situation again. Look for someone who helps you overcome temptations, not give in to them. 

I'm going to give you different advice than anyone else.
First off, if you really want some good advice on this-ignore everyone here-go find the most trusted woman you can who has been married for a long time and has a family and ask her.
2nd. There are definitely some things you need to consider.  I believe there absolutely is substance to your fears but it depends on what you want in life. My guess is that you are at the youngest 22. Some things for you to consider that unfortunately are not told to young women these days b/c it's "sexist"-yeah whatever.  Women in general need to have their crap together much earlier than men-simple biology.  If you want to have kids you simply cannot wait forever-your body's ability to produce healthy children dramatically drops by the time you hit 35.  If you desire a large family then you can't wait. Babies take 9 months and in general you'll wait a year between birth to getting pregnant-that's roughly 2 years between kids.
If you want to have 5 kids with low-risk pregnancies (i.e. no abnormalities, deaths, etc.), you MUST be married by the time you are 25 . ..otherwise you simply will not be able to have that many kids in low-risk pregnancies. Time is just against you.  Let's also factor in that in order to find someone, get to know them, make the decision to get married, etc. get married . . .is probably on the order of 6 months to a year-best case scenario. Every boyfriend you have that you don't get married to is probably going to take anywhere from 3-6 months of your life on average. So if you want lots of kids, you need to be married by about 25, you generally need to have found the guy by 24 then.  Which means if a boyfriend lasts for 3-6 months then if you went one right after another you might have 4-8 boyfriends.  Of course you don't go one right after another it takes time to find a boyfriend.  So between now and 25 you may have 3 serious boyfriends.
Another thing, the simple fact is that your market value decreases every year you don't get married.  In general, a woman's peak attractive age is around 22 maybe up to 25.  You can claim "SEXISTS!". don't care-it's reality. It's called hypergamy: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypergamy
"Studies of heterosexual mate selection in dozens of countries around the world have found men and women report prioritizing different traits when it comes to choosing a mate, with men tending to prefer women who are young and attractive and women tending to prefer men who are rich, well-educated, ambitious, and attractive."
Which consequently means, you've got to have your crap together!! If this dude ain't the guy, or you don't think he is the guy, or you can't see him being the guy-then for you our future self, drop him, move on and find that guy.  Trust me-unless the guy is a total loser-he'll be fine. Men have much more time to find a wife and have kids-biology is not against them.
I don't know you, I don't know your qualities and neither does anyone else on this board-so to ask advice from strangers about something so incredibly deep as this and expecting a decent answer is actually pretty ludicrous.  As for your boyfriend . . .no his market value increases over the next several years while your market value decreases-so I'm less concerned about him than about you. The fact that he doesn't realize this either means he's a loser, he's playing on your heart strings, or he really loves you and is actually concerned he won't find another woman like you.
Another thing to think about is that once you graduate college how exactly are you going to meet and date guys?  Are you going to live at home-where you'll have a lot of free time?  Or are you going to work-in which case good luck with going on dates.  After working a tail busting job during the week, it's really hard to find the energy to do anything "fun" on a Friday night. How are you going to meet guys? Internet dating?  Ward activites? at work??
The reason why you have this fear is b/c yes there are some very real concerns at play in your future.  You don't know all the concerns (either that or they are too overwhelming), you don't know how to articulate them and b/c you don't know how to articulate or know all the concerns you don't know how to mitigate them (i.e. plan for them and around them) and consequently it all bubbles up into one gigantic "I'm afraid I'll NEVER GET MARRIED!!!".
I'd venture to say it's really not "I'm afraid I'll never get married", but "I'm afraid I won't marry the "right" guy".  Look, as long as you withhold sexual relations to marriage-you will ALWAYS be able to find a guy who says . . .sure I'll marry you.  It's not a question of never getting married, it's a question of marrying the right guy for you.
And on that question . . .good luck. I'll say you want to marry a strong man, a provider, a leader, someone who is confident in himself and in his abilities, a spiritual man. A man who is willing and wants to play the role of a husband.  And consequently, you need to be willing and want to play the role of a wife.
Is this guy the guy for you?? Who knows . . .except God.  I don't believe the story that you have no emotional attachment to him.  You don't get physical with a person of the opposite sex unless you have some emotional attachment to them-that goes for men and women. 
And if it truly is that you have 0 emotional attachment and it is only physical, then you need to repent of your wicked ways and turn to God.  What it means is that your heart is filled with lust and you will never be able to find the "right" spouse with a heart filled with lust.
 

Thank you all so much! You have all dished out a lot of brilliant advice. I'm not so anxious now as I was before, and that's all thanks to the wonderful people who have contributed their thoughts, ideas, and opinions to this thread. I've got the beginnings of a game plan, and I'm going to work hard for the next few weeks and weeks following to be more confident in myself and to not use the media's standards to measure my worth. It was unfair of me to assume that he expects perfection simply because he was blessed with dashing good looks. I know that he isn't superficial or vain. 
I realized today that we became close in the first place because each of us was being our real selves. So that's how I'm going about this. I'm going to be who I've always been. (Except probably a little more mature, because I was 17 when we met and college changes a person.) 
If things go the way I hope they will, great. If not, things may change once he's settled back into his life. If they never do, it's not like there aren't thousands of single men who go to school with me. I'll get over it after a while.
:)

Thank you all so much! You have all dished out a lot of brilliant advice. I'm not so anxious now as I was before, and that's all thanks to the wonderful people who have contributed their thoughts, ideas, and opinions to this thread. I've got the beginnings of a game plan, and I'm going to work hard for the next few weeks and weeks following to be more confident in myself and to not use the media's standards to measure my worth. It was unfair of me to assume that he expects perfection simply because he was blessed with dashing good looks. I know that he isn't superficial or vain. 
I realized today that we became close in the first place because each of us was being our real selves. So that's how I'm going about this. I'm going to be who I've always been. (Except probably a little more mature, because I was 17 when we met and college changes a person.) 
If things go the way I hope they will, great. If not, things may change once he's settled back into his life. If they never do, it's not like there aren't thousands of single men who go to school with me. I'll get over it after a while.
:)

Thank you all so much! You have all dished out a lot of brilliant advice. I'm not so anxious now as I was before, and that's all thanks to the wonderful people who have contributed their thoughts, ideas, and opinions to this thread. I've got the beginnings of a game plan, and I'm going to work hard for the next few weeks and weeks following to be more confident in myself and to not use the media's standards to measure my worth. It was unfair of me to assume that he expects perfection simply because he was blessed with dashing good looks. I know that he isn't superficial or vain. 
I realized today that we became close in the first place because each of us was being our real selves. So that's how I'm going about this. I'm going to be who I've always been. (Except probably a little more mature, because I was 17 when we met and college changes a person.) 
If things go the way I hope they will, great. If not, things may change once he's settled back into his life. If they never do, it's not like there aren't thousands of single men who go to school with me. I'll get over it after a while.
:)

Too right. That is a legitimate concern that I've had! ?

Thank you all so much! You have all dished out a lot of brilliant advice. I'm not so anxious now as I was before, and that's all thanks to the wonderful people who have contributed their thoughts, ideas, and opinions to this thread. I've got the beginnings of a game plan, and I'm going to work hard for the next few weeks and weeks following to be more confident in myself and to not use the media's standards to measure my worth. It was unfair of me to assume that he expects perfection simply because he was blessed with dashing good looks. I know that he isn't superficial or vain. 
I realized today that we became close in the first place because each of us was being our real selves. So that's how I'm going about this. I'm going to be who I've always been. (Except probably a little more mature, because I was 17 when we met and college changes a person.) 
If things go the way I hope they will, great. If not, things may change once he's settled back into his life. If they never do, it's not like there aren't thousands of single men who go to school with me. I'll get over it after a while.
:)

Thank you all so much! You have all dished out a lot of brilliant advice. I'm not so anxious now as I was before, and that's all thanks to the wonderful people who have contributed their thoughts, ideas, and opinions to this thread. I've got the beginnings of a game plan, and I'm going to work hard for the next few weeks and weeks following to be more confident in myself and to not use the media's standards to measure my worth. It was unfair of me to assume that he expects perfection simply because he was blessed with dashing good looks. I know that he isn't superficial or vain. 
I realized today that we became close in the first place because each of us was being our real selves. So that's how I'm going about this. I'm going to be who I've always been. (Except probably a little more mature, because I was 17 when we met and college changes a person.) 
If things go the way I hope they will, great. If not, things may change once he's settled back into his life. If they never do, it's not like there aren't thousands of single men who go to school with me. I'll get over it after a while.
:)

Thank you all so much! You have all dished out a lot of brilliant advice. I'm not so anxious now as I was before, and that's all thanks to the wonderful people who have contributed their thoughts, ideas, and opinions to this thread. I've got the beginnings of a game plan, and I'm going to work hard for the next few weeks and weeks following to be more confident in myself and to not use the media's standards to measure my worth. It was unfair of me to assume that he expects perfection simply because he was blessed with dashing good looks. I know that he isn't superficial or vain. 
I realized today that we became close in the first place because each of us was being our real selves. So that's how I'm going about this. I'm going to be who I've always been. (Except probably a little more mature, because I was 17 when we met and college changes a person.) 
If things go the way I hope they will, great. If not, things may change once he's settled back into his life. If they never do, it's not like there aren't thousands of single men who go to school with me. I'll get over it after a while.
:)

Everyone is a bit different, but in my personal experience, relationships go a lot better when both persons are close to being on the same page. If one person is way into the other person and the other is not, then that imbalance tends to lead to things not working out. That doesn't mean that you can't help them get where you are, but if you are super interested, you are going to have to both be incredibly patient, but also realistic with how things are going.
@1) It doesn't matter if you think he's out of your league. Maybe he is, maybe he isn't. If he decides he likes you then you will be beautiful to him. Also... along the makeup conversation... I actually think makeup is super fake. Anything that doesn't look really natural I hate.
@2) It is fine if you want to ask him out, but on that date, you need to be on the lookout for clear signs of interest. In fact, at the end of the date ask him directly if he enjoyed it. Additionally, keep in mind that recent RMs have been conditioning themselves to suppress all feelings toward girls for 2 years. Don't be surprised if he is awkward about things.
@3) Don't do anything that you aren't comfortable with. Also realize that sometimes even if you feel like a floozy doing something, on the receiving end it may just be flattering. But be true to yourself.
And there is plenty of truth in that Studio C video. Eye contact and physical contact are excellent ways to flirt. Looking into the eyes of your crush is going to be terrifying, but it shows interest and determination. The attractive kind of confidence. And don't underestimate the power of playful physical contact. You are probably going to feel incredibly uncomfortable doing it regardless (try to make it as un-awkward as you can), but in the subconscious mind of guys, it brings you into the part of his mind that decides if he likes allowing you in his personal space. And if he decides that he likes you, then each touch can feel like lightning (the good kind). And if he decides he is not okay with that.. and he may feel a little awkward... but that probably just means you may want to focus your energies on someone else and try again later.
Anyway, there are 3 reasons he would accept the date: 1 - he is being nice. 2 - he thinks he could/might like you. or 3 - he'd like to get to know you better to find out how he feels.
Main thing you should be trying to find out on that first date, is which reason he's on the date. You should probably let him be the one to initiate a second date either way.
 

Ya think?!

 



 
Enjoy ?!?
Lehi

I can still remember listening to a radio evangelist, back in the early 1970s (I was a weird kid) who was answering write-in questions. One had to do with women wearing makeup (again, this was the early 1970s, when most Pentecostal women believed all makeup to be immodest).  He responded:  Some old barns need a coat of paint.
Now I look at Carborendum's post and realize (45 years later) that he was probably referring to us guys.  Yeah--hopefully, "a little dab will do yuh."

Most of us married guys are convinced we married up--especially when it comes to physical appearance.  My guess is that if the OP's match with this guy is meant to be, he will one day be thinking the same thing.  :-)

Quit selling yourself short.
Totally.  And yes, guys do like being asked out (everyone does).
You are over thinking this.  Just talk to him and enjoy yourselves.  No website can tell you how to be yourself.
Deep breath.  Relax.  Just invited him to do something with you, and let any flowers blossom.  
 

I wasn't sure whether to post this, but it doesn't seem too far off from @NeedleinA's answer, so I will, even though the guys on the forum can probably give you more applicable answers (esp. the young ones).
In my experience, this kind of thing is willful mass delusion (not to burst any bubbles or anything, but toss it into the "nonsense" heap).
1. Do your best to be in shape and appear your best.  Do NOT assume what another person does / does not like.  Unless they've told you, you really don't know anything but what Hollywood have told you, and they're all liars.  Happy, intelligent, and confident are attractive.  Righteousness is attractive (or if it's not, you want nothing to do with him).  Kindness and generosity (which has nothing to do with money) are attractive.  (The guys on here may tell you something different, if so, they're probably closer to right than I am.)
2. Why not?  Unless you have reason to believe he dislikes this, I don't know what would be wrong with it.  I'll let the guys answer the other parts of this question.  You could always go half-way: "Tonight was great.  I'd love to get together again soon."  (If he doesn't understand that's an expression of interest, you may need a brick.)
3. IMO, good, but that's me.  I think there's way to much pretend / deception / manipulation involved in dating and everyone would be happier if they were simply their best real self.  The ways to be "interested" in another person are the same whoever they are.  The most important thing, IMO, is that if you aren't genuinely interested, you can't fake it; if you are genuinely interested, it will show.  (NOTE: Caring about him as an individual is different from wanting him in your life - one is selfless, one is selfish.)  Ask sincere questions about them.  Give them all of your attention as you listen to their response (don't be thinking about how you're going to reply or what you're going to do next).  Remember what they tell you.  Don't try to top their experience - just share the joy or pain of it.  Express appreciation.  Give sincere replies to questions.  Be open to new / different things.  Don't try to impress them, try to be impressed by them.

@Zarahemla, EllieBelle needs advice from a guy approximately your age.   (Try not to steal her away from her target too soon, and you should probably avoid mentioning polygamy too soon.)

I didn't give my spiritual responses... just some knee jerk, "go get it done" responses.