Amym73
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Posts posted by Amym73
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Wow raised 135k
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It certainly sounds as if you have a lot of strain and turmoil lately, after reading all of this I cannot really offer anything new except talk to your Bishop about possible help with counseling for you and your wife. Your sister-in-law having lost everything recently is likely struggling and might also benefit from counseling. I wish you all well.
I recently had an adult daughter move home, she brought her live-in boyfriend and a cat. None of this was ideal, but, as she was quitting a drug addiction and trying to clean up her life, I agreed he could come. This was in July of 2016. They are both clean, and working, and now beginning a house search (2 months later than my you must move out by date) She may not live the life I want her too but, I will let her take her path and hope it arrives at a healthy and happy place for her. As a parent, it is really terrifying and hard to watch a child succumb to a bad path and to a drug addiction, so I had to say yes in just the tiny flicker of hope she could find her way back to real life and happiness.
Helping others is stressful, they don't often work as hard as they could, or get jobs as quick as they could, I really thought we were faced with the possibility of kicking them out, but we backed completely off and sure enough they came around on their own. This was after we stopped mentioning jobs, and moving, and paying her bills on her own....they both got jobs, started paying some bills (baby-steps). In the end, my husband and I (as well as her younger siblings) are tired of them being here. But, I have done my piece, helped out a loved one.
I wait patiently for them to leave. What I have learned is:
1. helping others who are coming out of trauma or addiction is a slower process than we would like, we don't always get to decide how fast it goes (Ha, I told them jobs and move out in 90 days).
2. It is REALLY trying, if I had it to do again I'd get them a place for 2 months and the rest is up to them.
3. They will likely cause tension and other fights in the household. I don't care for her points of view or the ridiculous thinking she exposes her sisters too but in the end we will all survive.
It reminds me to help in a smarter way in the future. Lesson learned.
I truly wish you the best and hope the SIL finds a job and you will have one less thing on your plate soon.
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In summation: Jesus was real and some people wrote some things so we have an outside view of his life and early Christians practices and that is really cool, ALSO, there are even more things to consider about fountain and roller ball pens and especially when trying to create a 0.5mm pen with amethyst colored ink and we all now know much much MUCH more about them! Therefore ... Jesus loves fountain pens (and chocolate chips)!
That was a pretty entertaining threadjack @zil and @Carborendum ! BTW, I vote for semi-sweet chips! Thank you for putting me in a great mood this morning. When I checked my email and it had something about pens on this post , I was like, what? (which then made me log in and read, which resulted in a laugh and smile).
<3 Happy voting day, please use blue or black ink! Any pen will do!
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3 hours ago, MormonGator said:
Most atheists chose to believe that Jesus didn't exist then look for evidence to back it up, no matter how discredited.
in reality, if you tried to argue that Jesus didn't exist-even in very secular divinities schools-you'd be basically ignored. The evidence (even just straight historical, non biblical) is overwhelming that He existed.True, and most scholars actually believe that the Bible is an accurate and true historical narrative of its times. So the fact people still argue about it is interesting . I feel it's really a lack of knowledge of what is out there for proof and being attached to the ideal they are right,even when the evidence says otherwise.
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3 hours ago, Just_A_Guy said:
It's quite a silly argument, when you think about it. Secularists don't trip all over themselves trying to prove that there was no Moses, or Mohammed, or Confucius, or Siddhartha Gautama, or Zoroaster.
Crimony, no one even seriously doubts the existence of Paul of Tarsus. It's only when you go back another decade in history that "scholars" all of a sudden start wondering whether we can be really sure that the hapless Yeshua ben Yosef ever actually existed.
I am not sure why people always want to pro e he wasn't real. It is just too well documented to make a good argument out of it.
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3 hours ago, Larry Cotrell said:
Thanks for posting, this is a very interesting article. And to think, some atheists claim Christ never existed. I don't see how anyone who has looked at all of the evidence (even outside of the Bible) could conclude that Jesus didn't exist. I guess most of those people haven't studied it out because they don't care about Jesus.
Agree. I feel that a common argument is that there is nothing written while he was living and while all of these accounts are written atleast 7 years past his death, some a hundred, they all acknowledge that he was very real and I feel that cannot be ignored! I really appreciated the description of the way the early Christians worshipped together. That was just plain interesting! Glad you enjoyed it !
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Ancient evidence for Jesus's life and death
I recently stumbled across this article and thought it was a good breakdown of outside proof of Jesus's life. Most may know about this but if not you may find it very interesting and exciting !
- Larry Cotrell and Sunday21
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On 9/19/2016 at 4:27 AM, Carborendum said:
I echo @LiterateParakeet's counsel and I'll add a warning.
They may be very willing to say they're sorry without actually being willing to change anything. They honestly believe they've done nothing wrong. And even if they say they're sorry, they won't change any behavior. It will be impossible to change their behavior without changing their belief. And their belief is "Rich = Rude and Materialistic".
If they can get that out of their heads, then everything else will fall into place. Without changing that belief, then they will never stop their behavior.
I'm sorry, this sounds very tiring and just sad for you. It sounds as if their "Rich = Rude and Materialistic" attitude has actually made them the rude and materialistic ones? They must feel threatened about your wife and her family causing a rift in your family and sadly they have caused the thing they feared.
Here is what I feel you should do. Nothing. Why? Because there are 3 kinds of business, your business, GOD's business, and other people's business. How do you know the business that is yours? It is what you have been given the power to change by God. You can pray to Heavenly Father about this and give it over to him, because, it honestly is not your problem, it is their problem. Whenever we take ownership of another person's problem it causes us tons of distress and misery and at the end of the day they are the only people who can do anything about the situation. You can lead people to solutions, insights, and conclusions...but as long as there is free will you cannot make them see the light or the error of their ways. It is usually best to make a decision that you will not let others cause discord and unhappiness for you.
Is this easy? Not at first, we all love to believe we can make other see their errors and that common sense or love can prevail and force them to change. But you said it, they most like will not unless they change their thinking, and who can change their thinking? Only God or they can change this. Instead, model for them how happy and fulfilled you are by your wonderful relationship with your wife's and your wife's family. If they want to actually be a part of your happiness and life they will need to change, if not, that is their sad decision. All you can do is love them. Love them for being incorrect in their attitudes and misguided with their actions because we are all imperfect beings and we do our best, even though we are often very far off base.
Let me try to give you an analogy. The more you fight things the harder they become to bear. Say your parents are like sea. You would like them to be more kind to your wife and her family, but they cannot, at this time their waves and attitudes will keep coming in like the tide. You can rush out into their waves and fight them and say no stop stop this! If you have ever stood in the ocean and faced the incoming waves they are hard, they hit you and knock you down. If you, however, embrace the waves the way they are, and trust that God has your back and doesn't give you more than your own business to handle, those waves now hit hard but you can roll with them to the shore where its solid and safe. It is like this with you, let the shore be your love, peace, and happiness, the place where you can still love both sides as they are without trying to fight their waves.
Does that mean you do nothing? Not exactly. But I am out of time for my suggestions at some ways to curb this behavior from your mom. Suffice to say you can merely make a decision to create a loving and happy atmosphere when she is around, to include her in it and realize this is her struggle instead of yours. It will help ease feelings of anger, guilt, and confusion, you can't hold beach balls down underwater and still swim! You cannot control her behaviors, only your own.
I wish you peace and happiness, and I hope you find a way to accept what is, give to god what you cannot change, and still have the love your families both can provide.
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8 hours ago, curious_mormon said:
Anybody married to a foreign guy? Asian, Latino, etc?
I always see caucasian couples. and asian and hispanic and black couples. but I never really see inter-racial couples. As a matter of fact, diversity beats racism. Is there such thing as racism in the LDS church? Because I rarely ever see inter-racial couples in the LDS church.
Is it against the caucasian culture to date an Asian, latino, and black guys?
My foster brother is African American and he is married to a caucasian. They have been in the church for 20 years at least, and I know of other bi-racial couples as well, I do not feel it is all that rare here, can't speak for all areas but there is nothing against dating outside your race I am aware of, its a matter of who you meet and are exposed to. I suppose in large cities it would be more common than rural areas but I really don't know.
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On 9/7/2016 at 0:58 PM, tebs1962 said:
I live in Central America. My wife and her children joined the Church just a few weeks ago. The day after their baptisms the Bishop issued them temple recommends for Baptisms and that same afternoon the Relief Society President, the Young Women's President and the Family History Consultant came to our home and taught them about genealogy. The following Saturday they went to the Temple and did baptisms and confirmations for the dead with them. Now last week my wife was so interested in Genealogy that she talked me into traveling with her for a few days through the country where we searched cemeteries and spoke to family members to recover some of her family records.
Just a side note. Our ward here has three sets of missionaries and they are on track to baptize well over 100 people in the ward this year. They work hard on retention, and we feel very much loved in the ward. Life is good!
That's wonderful! Good luck on your genealogy adventures and congratulations on your baptisms!
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4 minutes ago, MormonGator said:
Rough Stone Rolling by Richard Bushman.
I had read a very good review of this one so I am happy to see it another recommend it! Thank you!
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Speaking of JS, he is my 4th (5x removed) cousin, so naturally anyone in my family tree is always instantly the most interesting to me. What is the best biography on him any of you have read? I would like to read a great, thorough, fair, and accurate history of him. But there are so many!
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5 minutes ago, NeuroTypical said:
A very thorough exploration of the subject.
I was just going to post the same link, interesting read, although the right side was chopped off and I had to guess the last 6 letters of every line!
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On 9/1/2016 at 4:16 AM, Sunday21 said:
As someone who was inactive for a long time, I highly recommend a schedule for prayer. Pray before leaving home in the morning. Arrange your life so that you have time to think first and you are somewhat awake. Pray at lunch time, maybe in the restroom. Pray when you return in the evening. Give yourself time to compose your thoughts.
great to have you back! You can get a limited use temple recommend. The drop out rate for new members is 80 % but 30% if new member visits the temple within the first year. What I was told while working in the temple. If there is a nearby temple perhaps you could go for a walk on the grounds?
Wonderful that you are back!
Thank you for the suggestions. There is a temple here, and I was at the stake center last week which is next to it, I walked around a bit, but then a man doing gardening was cursing and yelling on his cellphone so I left.
I did visit the temple after baptized, it was so serene and beautiful. It was a wonderful experience, I would love to go in again! The drop out rate is kind of suprising to me. I would never believe it was that high!
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I believe that compassion with others is very much tied into our compassion with ourselves. When I am feeling tired of life's difficulties I find that compassion becomes a struggle as well. I have also struggled with this issue off an on. Many years ago I read a fantastic group of essays written by several Buddhist and one said that when they catch themselves getting caught up in being judgemental of others they start a practice of saying "Today I will judge nothing" when they rise each day. It sounds easy but if you practice mindfulness it is amazing how much we love to judge all sorts of things. The human judges things in order to make sense of the world. It loves to categorize things to make sense of the world. The problem is that when it gets in the habit of passing judgment on others in order to make sense of things. This, of course, becomes icky feeling when we realize it is not really serving a purpose and we may actually be treating others unfairly. The fact is, humans judge everything to help us live in our world. It is our responsibility to remain aware of whether or judgements are unjust, petty, or in a mean spirit and when we realize they are running the show take it back.
The biggest thing I run into is the belief that we are at war with ourselves and our behaviors. It is much easier to realize that part of being a human is to naturally struggle with these things and instead of stopping it, we can more effectively grow by acknowledging it and moving on. Recognize that you will sometimes be a curmudgeon because you are an imperfect human and that you will recognize it and set it to the side and let it be there with you while you try to act with compassion instead is much easier. I find that if you ask Heavenly Father for help he will happily give you gentle reminders and strength as well.
Do you ever type and type and then feel like you didn't quite get to the point you were going to make? I just did that but now I will laugh and post it anyway.
I ramble sometimes....hehe.
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This reminded me of a line from a song... We're all in this thing together, walking the line between faith and fear. This life won't last forever...
It just reminds me that if I find a high horse, I'd better stay off it or I'll surely be reminded that I am on the same journey as everyone else in short order. ? I try to catch myself and strive to stay humble. If it were always easy I suppose we wouldn't have to practice it. Plus, I love to laugh at my silly faults and don't see me running out of material in this lifetime.
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37 minutes ago, Carborendum said:
I'll give you a personal opinion. The digital stuff is fine when you're just reading straight or looking up a reference in class. And when you're starting over again, it's FREE. But when you get to the stage where you "really study" the scriptures, a paper copy is essential. The ability to go back and forth between books and the topical guide and so on is SO much easier with a paper copy.
I also love paper, the feeling the ability to highlight, bookmark, and just hold a body of knowledge feels good and I am very sad that my gorgeous personalized collection was ruined in a flood and it was given to me as a gift when I was baptized. Ugh! Alas, electronic will do for now. I do enjoy the ability to have both as you always have it with you!!
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42 minutes ago, zil said:
To expound on what Carb mentioned: The Gospel Library app (created by the church - under the full name of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints), and in app stores for Apple, Android, and Windows phones and tablets will get you all the official church publications: scriptures, study guides, magazines, and manuals. All for free. If you like paper, you can add paper copies to your physical library as you go.
As for the books to start reading / studying, I agree: scriptures, especially the Book of Mormon, and Gospel Principles (in the app, it's under Lessons > Sunday School).
Sorry you're having to start over.
Congratulations on getting to start over. (Sometimes I think I would like to do that, but I'm too lazy and addicted to my "stuff".)
Thank you, I will download that right now! I am definitely a paper person, partly because I like to highlight meaningful passages and write in margins and really get into studying but this will work for supplemental purposes until I can get paper copies again.
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4 minutes ago, Carborendum said:
You've come to the right place!
If your ward doesn't make you feel welcome, then you can always come here and talk about insights, spiritual experiences, challenges in life, testimonies, doctrinal questions, etc. We just love to talk. We also have our debates. Don't let that prevent you from at least reading. I participate in many. I also just sit on the sidelines of some. People have interesting insights when they need to put it in writing.
Thanks! I read around a little and felt it was a pretty good place to ask questions and so far it really has been great!
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1 hour ago, Jane_Doe said:
Speaking of genealogy: did you know that as a member of the LDS church, you have a free Ancestry subscription?
OH thank you for sharing that. I've already paid for mine but that would be a wonderful way to save 300.-- a year. I wonder how I link that to my current account. What does it include? I don't have access to every collection at the moment because I was trying to save a little. I realize you may not have these answers, that's okay I can probably figure it out eventually, thank you though.
My Wife is Leaving me Over Boundaries
in Marriage and Relationship Advice
Posted
The credit card issue is not something to be taken lightly, hiding things like that is not fair to you. I echo the others please go to your Bishop.