my two cents

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  1. Like
    my two cents got a reaction from Jane_Doe in Quick intro   
    Welcome! Happy to have you here and so excited for your baptism!
  2. Thanks
    my two cents got a reaction from dannyireland in Quick intro   
    Welcome! Happy to have you here and so excited for your baptism!
  3. Like
    my two cents reacted to zil in Banking Question   
    Assuming you already have a loan, this would be my advice - if the loans will let you pay extra principal without penalty, you're better off doing that than putting the money in a simple interest-bearing account - unless you can magically find an account that pays a higher rate than the loan's rate.  (That said, I'd have a small savings account for emergencies first, then start paying off the loan as fast as possible - even seemingly trivial amounts applied to the principal will quickly knock down the overall amount you pay.)
  4. Okay
    my two cents got a reaction from GoodNJolly in Married a nonmember   
    What about going to both? Even if you don't go to your ward if it's at the same time as his church, you can just go to another ward instead. Hopefully your husband will see this as a reasonable compromise.
  5. Like
    my two cents reacted to Grunt in Married a nonmember   
    Turtle,
    I'm not LDS, but I attend an LDS church with my family.  Has your husband been to an LDS church?  If you're asking him to convert, that is a mistake in my opinion.  Just ask him to support you.   He doesn't NEED to believe LDS is the true church.  It doesn't matter.  He can worship in his way AT LDS church.

    Start small.  What time is his church?  If they aren't at the same time, ask if you can go to both.  Don't make him sit through Principles and Priesthood.  Ask if you can go, attend Sacrament, then leave.  He can participate in Sacrament.  He can even call it communion if he wants.  He can do what my family does is not participate in Sacrament.  Nobody in my ward says a thing to me.

    If his service is the same time as Sacrament, ask if you can split the times.  One day a month go to Sacrament.  Get your children involved in mutual (maybe?  I'm not sure what that is, honestly).  Ask him to help with service projects.  These are all ways you can participate in LDS and still respect his belief.  This shouldn't be a "one or the other" scenario.  It should be an opportunity for mutual respect and support.  Compromise. 
  6. Like
    my two cents got a reaction from Anddenex in Married a nonmember   
    What about going to both? Even if you don't go to your ward if it's at the same time as his church, you can just go to another ward instead. Hopefully your husband will see this as a reasonable compromise.
  7. Like
    my two cents got a reaction from NightSG in Married a nonmember   
    What about going to both? Even if you don't go to your ward if it's at the same time as his church, you can just go to another ward instead. Hopefully your husband will see this as a reasonable compromise.
  8. Like
    my two cents reacted to Grunt in Tattoos and Other Things We Could Use More of at Church   
    I don't think anyone is saying they don't want sinners (whatever the sin) at church.  I think they're saying they want them at church to pursue following scripture.  To that end, I don't think we need to tiptoe around the fact that the person sitting next to you is a sinner, regardless what their sin is, just so they don't feel bad.  While I don't see the need to call out individuals, I certainly think it appropriate to call out sin.  
     
  9. Like
    my two cents reacted to Grunt in New here with an agenda   
    Hey!   I came here with an agenda, too.  I just never left.
  10. Like
    my two cents reacted to bytebear in Not going to meet the sisters anymore   
    Individual missionaries are only in one area for a few months.  And sometimes elders and switched with sisters, so if you have a bad set, wait a week, and chances are you'll get new people.  Be aware, that the new missionaries generally don't keep tabs on past activity other than maybe a name and a number, so they will have no idea of your history with past missionaries unless you tell them.  My advice:  Do any or all of the following:  Go online to talk to missionaries there.   Meet with members in the ward/branch in addition to missionaries (i..e go to church).  Wait for another set of sisters to come in.  Bring your frustrations and questions here, and we'll all try to help you through it.  But honestly, church is your best option for answering questions and getting to know people.  But don't let a few grumpy grumps push you away.
  11. Like
    my two cents reacted to anatess2 in Not going to meet the sisters anymore   
    Okay, maybe I don't get it because English is not my primary language... but, I don't see anything wrong with this?  I say this a lot.  Like - 
    Friend:  "I'm depressed."
    Me:  "I'm sorry you feel that way.  Try this wonderful essential oil on your diffuser.  It might help."
    Is that bad?
    There's also this:
    Friend:  "You suck!"
    Me:  "I'm sorry you feel that way.  I'm just trying to help."
    Is that bad?
    I do know it can be used for sarcasm too, like -
    Friend:  "You suck!"
    Me:  "I'm sorry you are too stupid to see how great I am..."
    But I'm 100% certain missionaries don't do that.
  12. Like
    my two cents reacted to zil in Not going to meet the sisters anymore   
    Celticpride, I just re-read your posts, to remind myself where you're coming from.  It's clear you're in a very difficult situation.  We here can and will do what we can to help you - with learning, with encouragement, or just to listen when you need to rant.  When it comes to changing your situation, all we can do is offer advice and encouragement.  The following are suggestions, made from a place of not really knowing the details of your life, but with the best possible intentions on my part.  If they won't work for you, try to find similar things that will work for you.  It seems to me that the most important thing for you right now is to exert control over some element of your life where you don't currently feel in full control.
    Do you have what you need (car, money for the bus, whatever) to get yourself to church?  If so, I challenge you to get up on Sunday morning, prep yourself for church, and just walk out and go.  Don't argue or justify or respond to hateful comments as you go, just go.  I believe you will find this empowering, and help you to take other actions which improve your circumstance.  If you don't have the means to do this yourself, perhaps you can arrange for someone to pick you up (even if it has to be a block or two from home)?
    As suggested, if the sister missionaries don't work for you, try mormon.org, or here.  Eventually, the sisters will be transferred (or at least one of them will, and then later the other).  In the meantime, pray for them, and for yourself, and use those means that you can to learn.
    For Church history questions, here and FairMormon.org are good places to find information and explanations.
    If you're not, try to read from the Book of Mormon every day - there is power in that book, and there are promises therein, most importantly, that when you do what the Lord wants you to do, he prospers you.  What that looks like varies from person to person, but I have experienced it both ways (the lack of blessings and the blessings), and I know many others who have also experienced it.  Please give it a try.
    Right now, a great many things in your life are leading to frustration and perhaps feelings of despair or hopelessness.  While I don't know what your life is like, and wouldn't dream of saying I know what you're going through, I do know what it feels like to despair of things ever getting better.  But things won't get better unless you make them better.  I know it seems impossible, it seems like you have no control.  But the bigger things are making little things seem worse than they are - that's the thing about despair - it sucks everything in like a black hole, everything is as bad as it can be and gets worse, rather than good things being good.  You need to find a way to change perspective, to recognize the little things which aren't worth your frustration, and the start changing things for the better - even if "things" are only your perspective and thoughts (at first).
    Please note that it doesn't matter who is responsible for any of your trials or frustrations - it doesn't matter if your family or those where you work are in the wrong.  You cannot change them.  But you can choose to act rather than react.  You can control what you feel, think, say, and do.  And even though things may look hopeless, you can find and even create hope - with the help of Jesus Christ.  This isn't easy, but it can be done, and is worth the effort.
  13. Like
    my two cents reacted to Grunt in Pornography, Infidelity, and the Law of Chasity   
    I see many of the issues marriages have on this forum involve pornography.  A question was asked in another thread about how pornography can exist in other relationships and not have a negative impact.  The answer, really, is many (most?) people don't view pornography and masturbation the way LDS do, at least on the male side.  Pornography is normal for many males.  It starts at a young age behind the garage decades ago with a SEARS catalog looking at underwear advertisements with your friends.  It progresses from there.  Heck, even television alludes to sex and pornography or features actors with less than modest clothing.  It's just normal, culturally.
    The same applies to masturbation.  It starts as a toddler.  Without someone telling you "this is bad, don't do this", you grow up thinking it's normal.  After all, it is "your" equipment.  I still haven't found anything in the church that says masturbation is bad (but I'm sure I'm about to be bombarded with it).  
    It has been my experience that men and women view sex differently.  There is a physical and emotional aspect to sex and many men separate the two.  I can sit across the room with my wife, make eye contact, and have that emotional response.  It's an intimacy that can manifest anywhere, including sex.  Likewise, I could have sex and NOT feel that intimacy.  If I viewed porn or was unfaithful to my spouse, it wouldn't change the way I feel about her or affect my intimacy.  
    What I feel it comes down to is respect and an understanding of the family unit.  I remain faithful to my wife for MANY reasons (beyond the fact that nobody else would have me).  I love her.  I respect her.  I'm committed to my family.  Those three things alone are probably what causes me to not even desire another woman.  I could probably list a million other reasons.  Society and culture are changing, though.  It's acceptable now or even encouraged, to put yourself first.  People are no longer fulfilled by family because they're taught to pursue more.  I believe people confuse fantasy with reality.  They view pornography or television where the illicit affair is romantic and want it in their life.  They want the fantasy to be real and they don't even realize they are pursuing it.  I could never have sex with my wife again and be just as committed to her years from now as I am today, with zero possibility that I would stray from our marriage.
    None of that has anything to do with God, the church, or the Law of Chastity.  It has to do with character, integrity, and being a man.  
     
  14. Like
    my two cents got a reaction from KY93 in New investigators + order of books   
    I'm sure someone in your ward has a copy and would gladly lend it to you. 
  15. Like
    my two cents reacted to JohnsonJones in Always good, want to be bad   
    So, if I understand you right, you feel as if you missed out on things because you got married young and then had children at a young age as well, but never participated in what the world sometimes calls...fun.
    It's been a while, and they do hit upon this in Young Single Adults which you missed, but it sounds almost like you are experiencing temptation from what we would call peer pressure.  It may not be the same peer pressure that you have from friends asking you to do things, but the type of peer pressure where you see things of the world and how they portray it as fun for young people...and you say...gosh...that looks fun.  I sure think I missed out by not doing that.
    This is just another form of temptation.  I've been unfortunate (though some wouldn't see as such, it really is to me) to serve in leadership positions where I've had people confess things to me.  It is never fun.  It is never enjoyable.  As much as people say it, in this situation there really is basically two kinds of people.
    The first have no regrets.  They have no desire to repent.  They tasted of the world and loved it.  They want to continue doing this.  They normally either stop coming to church (which is the most typical thing that occurs), or even worse get excommunicated or ask for their names to be removed.  This is a very sad situation when it happens.
    The second are remorseful.  They literally wish they had NEVER DONE THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE.  They regret that they fell into temptation.  If they could tell you one thing, it probably would be...DON'T DO IT.  Stop wondering about it while you are ahead.  No matter how fun it may appear, no matter how much you think you missed out...DON'T DO IT.  It is not worth it.  The painful road to recovery, the painful memories and how it has impacted their lives is something that they would well have wanted to do without.
    If the entire world decided it was cool to point a gun to their head and pull the trigger...would you do it.  The result if it was loaded being that you would seriously be injured.  The rest of your life you would bear the scars, even if it didn't kill you.  The rest of the world says it's absolutely fun, the thrill is something you can never experience if you don't try it at least once.  You see how cool it is in TV, movies, and every other form of media.  90% of the rest of the world, and even 20% of Mormons have done this.  Would you therefore want to put a loaded gun to your head and pull the trigger?
    Even if you survive, you still would have the scars for the rest of your life.  Something there would remind you of what you did in your past.  Now, the lord would restore all that was lost.  In the next life, it would be as if it never occurred, but in this life, there still will be reminders of what happened.
    What you are proposing in some ways is to do that spiritually.  You have seen how fun it seems from TV and media and other sources to get that spiritual gun and point it at your head.  This is what peer pressure, or the temptation of the world can do to a person.
    A normal LDS saint will say...What are you thinking!   Do you realize the harm you can do to yourself?  It seems crazy, and yet, that's the type of spiritual temptation which may lead to spiritual suicide is doing.
    Instead of analyzing your life from the world's perspective, look at it from reality.  Hopefully you have a good marriage with children.  Take joy in the children and your family and realize...that's what is really important.  You got to experience something that others are actually envious of most likely.
    I will share one story of two daughters.  There was the older one and the younger one.  The older daughter was VERY talented.  She had a great ability on the Violin, made straight A's in school, and got a full ride scholarship.  The Younger daughter was very jealous of the older daughter.  She thought the older daughter was blessed with everything.  That everyone loved the older daughter, and that the older daughter was so talented that she was able to do all these things that the younger daughter could never dream of.  The older sister had a ton of praise from the world.
    However, the secret was that the older daughter was actually jealous of the younger daughter.
    The Younger daughter got married very soon after graduating high school to her recently returned missionary sweetheart.  She could not understand her older sister's reaction in some ways.  The Older sister had felt isolated at times from friends and others.  All her friends were gathered from those who hung around with her younger sister.  Her younger sister was considered very beautiful and charismatic, and while the older sister was not married, the younger sister got married rather quickly.  She then had children.  The Older daughter knew the importance of family and children, and wished that she could have the blessings the younger sister had.  She didn't get married until she was near 25 (which is actually still young in today's standards), but was jealous of her sister's blessings.
    It was irony that both were jealous of the other.  They both had blessings that they each could enjoy.  Rather than listen to their father that they were both loved tremendously and each were blessed of the Lord in their own way, they took to looking at the other one's life and feeling that they were lacking in something.   They should have realized the blessings they had in being righteous and following the Lord, and enjoy the things that he blessed them with, instead of looking at things that they didn't have and wanting that instead.
    Today, (I hope at least) it appears they've made peace and realized that they both were very blessed in their lives.  It took a while though, and their jealousy was something that if they had shed it and learned to enjoy what the Lord had blessed them with, they could have avoided years of jealousy, pain, and at times, harsh treatment of each other.  All that envy and coveting is wasted time.  How much better to enjoy what you have now, and the great blessings you enjoy. 
    It is a blessing to be pure, it is something that very few in this world can actually enjoy.  It is something much more special than all that alcohol, gambling, or any other detriments that may tempt you.  Remain clean, and learn to love the blessings that you have been given rather than fall to the temptations of the world that give the illusion of fun, but in reality will only attempt to destroy the blessings you have now.
  16. Like
    my two cents reacted to james12 in Always good, want to be bad   
    There is a quote from President Monson that has kind of become a Mormon platitude. It goes, "find joy in the journey". In general I like the quote but I have always been a little disappointed because it is missing an important word. He was talking about life and how we should live it. He says, "This is our one and only chance at mortal life—here and now. I plead with you not to let those most important things pass you by as you plan for that illusive and nonexistent future when you will have time to do all that you want to do. Instead, find joy in the journey—now" ("Finding Joy in the Journey", GC Oct 2008, italics added). Did you catch it? It's the word "now". Some time ago after reading this talk and others, the spirit whispered to me that religion is intended to bring us joy now, not simply tomorrow, not after we die, now! This started changing how I lived my life. I started asking myself questions like, "Am I miserable today? Why?" I started to realize that much of my religious posturing had not brought me closer to the joy I sought. My religion was not taking me where I needed to go and something was wrong. That may be what you are feeling and if it is I'm here to say that that feeling my indeed be very right.
    Now, as others have done I must provide a word of caution. Because you have found that you need to change do not make the mistake of assuming that sin is what is missing. That path will lead to almost nothing but despair. But make no mistake, some of what we call "religion" is not the real thing and instead of providing joy can bring us down. Maybe I can provide an example from my own life. I once went on a date with a girl who would not watch any movie that had a swear word in it. As we were talking I asked her if she had seen The Truman Show. She asked, "does it have a swear word?" I was shocked. I didn't know if it had a swear word! How was I going to remember that? After all, that was totally beside the point. The movie was not about some swear word. It was about experiencing life! It revealed what made us human and our need to connect with real people. She had cut herself off from that because the movie might have a swear word.  Now that is just one example, but if your life is composed of these types of rules in all sorts of areas your false sense of "religion" will cut you off from living to the fullest.
    Jesus him self once said, "I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly" (John 10:10). I urge you to go and find the abundant life. Use the spirit as your guide and let go of so many rules. After all, that was a large part of Jesus' message. The people were bound down by the Law of Moses. Over and over again Jesus broke the rules. Not God's laws but the false structures that men had built up. Let the spirit be your guide. Find the false structures you have built up that are causing you to not connect with people and situations that will allow you to live in joy today.  
     
  17. Haha
    my two cents reacted to Bad Karma in Always good, want to be bad   
    Drink a monster, listen to 80s heavy metal, leave all the cupboard doors open, just because...  Go to a restaurant, order milk with your meal, ask for a straw, blow bubbles in your milk while humming, you'll drive everyone nuts. Draw smiley faces on every piece of paper you handle, this is going to make people confused yet too afraid to ask why.  As a matter of routine, start talking to yourself every time someone is looking at you.  There, now you've been rebellious, you didn't get yourself excommunicated, divorced, arrested, etc, but you will have managed to unbalance your own little corner of the world just enough to make life interesting.  Have fun...
  18. Thanks
    my two cents got a reaction from Anddenex in Prophetic Priorities   
    That's great that your family is indexing!! To find names try the 'take a name' app (but make sure to verify the info before doing the temple work). 
  19. Like
    my two cents reacted to skippy740 in Always good, want to be bad   
    Okay, I skimmed through this thread, but I don't think anyone really noticed your age and history here.
    You married at 18 and pregnant the next month.  
    I'm assuming that you've never lived on your own?  If anything, THAT was what you missed out on.  Not being "rebellious", but in living on your own.  You went from your parents straight to married life.
    I have no solution, just identifying a phase that many other people go through that you seem to have missed.
  20. Like
    my two cents reacted to NeedleinA in Always good, want to be bad   
    There is a reason it is used in psychological operations on prisoners and considered "music torture". Ugh...
  21. Like
    my two cents reacted to SilentOne in New investigators + order of books   
    But you might feel uncomfortable showing up in jeans.
  22. Like
    my two cents reacted to Grunt in New investigators + order of books   
    I think this post was made for me.   Disclaimer:  I’m not LDS.  
    First, go to church.  They love visitors.  Stay for the whole thing.  Meet the missionaries.  Ask questions.   The pace will seem fast.  You may seem rushed.  However, Mormons take “no” very easily.  It’s your life, your pace.  Don’t hinder your own investigation, but set your own pace. 
    Download the LDS library app if you can.  I listened to the Book of Mormon then used the app to read it and cross reference it with other scripture. It helped me immensely.  
    You can get involved with the church without being a member.  I attend service projects and the like.  Sometimes they forget I’m not LDS. I suggest you get involved.  LDS isn’t just a religion on Sunday, it’s a life towards God.   
    I have a thread here about my journey. 
  23. Like
    my two cents got a reaction from Jane_Doe in Girls in BSA   
    To me they demonstrated that long before 4 years ago. Choosing to ignore abuse - absolutely shameful.
  24. Like
    my two cents got a reaction from Midwest LDS in Girls in BSA   
    To me they demonstrated that long before 4 years ago. Choosing to ignore abuse - absolutely shameful.
  25. Like
    my two cents got a reaction from JoCa in Girls in BSA   
    To me they demonstrated that long before 4 years ago. Choosing to ignore abuse - absolutely shameful.