I am needing some reassurance from all my fellow members. I feel alone, afraid and worthless. I feel like God has abandoned me. I have been dealing with a masturbation addiction for a long time, and I've been cleaning it up with the help of my awesome bishop. I just got my pat. blessing, and now I'm working on getting my mel. priesthood so I can go on a service mission (since I've had health problems and won't be able to serve a full time mission). I usually meet with the bishop once a week. However, the last few weeks since getting my pat. blessing I've been slipping up. My bishop told me I can get the priesthood after a week of being clean. So far, nothing has come of that since I've been struggling. I am depressed, sad, and lonely. I feel like I'm never going to get out of this pit! How do I do it! I feel so worthless! I am sick of life! I am afraid God has abandoned me! How can I know He is loving me? How do I get over this? I need to be able to stay clean during my mission as well! I need help! I am sick of slipping up! I am so frustrated! I need to know how to use the freaking Atonement but I don't know how!!!!! I pray for help, but what does God give me? Nothing! I've been praying for years for help! Still, I'm stuck in this hole! I want Him to fish me out, but He doesn't seem to care.
