Lostboy289

Haha, I never turn down I've cream. She didn't promise to marry me or anything (though we have talked about it and said we thought it was going there), but sticking by me literally while I was in the thick of this shouldn't have been unreasonable. That's atleast how I interpreted the promise. This is the girl who only a month ago cancelled her mission a week before she was about to leave because she was in love with me (NOT my idea). I just wonder why we even make promises in the first place if we are free to abandon them the second they don't suit us.

To be fair she didn't want to do it this way. I had just been feeling a bit overwhelmed by all that I had been going through (including this thread) and mentioned that I'm having a hard time "keeping up appearances" and being the strong YSA leader guy who has it all figured out that I ususally am. When she said it was ok to not always be confident and strong I asked her if she thought any less of me as a boyfriend and husband material. Then she admitted to me that she was going to tell me when I got back, but she wants to break up. I wouldn't have been so devastated by this if this weren't literally one week after I lost my military assignment, was feeling really down about all I've been through in the past 2 years, and she promised me that regardless of what happened with my job, she would stick by me and help me through this, and I wouldn't have to worry about losing her at all. I just don't get why big promises are ok to throw out like that so soon and with no preamble. What is the point of making promises at all?

Hey guys, I'm going to take a break from this thread. In an ironic twist of fate, my girlfriend broke up with me today through a text. It was very sudden and unexpected, we had never even had so much as a disagreement before, and this was only week after the night I lost my job assignment and she promised me that shed stick by me and support me during this difficult time. You all know where I stand, and while I have been enlightened by the different opinions I mostly still stand by my own. I'm sorry for any of those I have offended in the process.

Its not the guy thats less ideal, just less of an idealistic way for this to all work out.

What makes it right exactly? Eternal marriage is right. But this isn't a marriage. This is just one of a million possibilities available. And because an insistence on this specific possibility, you dragged your friend down into a pitt of suffering. Which is wrong. Which even if it does lead to a right (in this case a marriage), is no different from saying "the ends justify the means".

Couldn't she have found happiness with her original boyfriend if his friend hadn't lured her away? Or less ideally but still prefferable unrelated fourth party who isn't the guy or his friend?

So where is the love in this? You hurt your children's feelings when necessary because it is ultimately for the benefit of their well being. Although even in that case it can be taken to unrealistic extremes when the suffering you impose is greater than the lesson learned. Who is benefiting when you run of with your friend's girlfriend. Him, or mostly just you?

No, but how are those being demonstrated when you see the suffering you cause your brother as an acceptable cost for a relationship with a specific woman? Fair point. Thank you. You didn't?

Well everyone here seems to be a pretty big advocate for the former. Or at the very least see it as an acceptable consequence of gaining that which you desire. There is a huge difference between accidentally hurting someone while going through your life (and being given the chance to make it right) and going into a situation knowing you are going to hurt a friend, and pressing ahead with it anyways. 28Now one of the scribes had come up and heard their debate. Noticing how well Jesus had answered them, he asked Him, “Which commandment is the most important of all?” 29Jesus replied, “This is the most important: ‘Hear O Israel, the Lord our God is One Lord, 30and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. 31The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.” Making a pass at your friend's girlfriend or fiancé, or running off with her and leaving your friend in the dust is pretty clearly a violation off that.

The Lord tells us to be kind, considerate, charitable, and empathetic This situation is the exact opposite of this, so yes. Its a sin. Honestly yes I do. And the more responses I get, unfortunately the more I see that it is much more far off than I thought. Sexual relationship is irrelevant here. A complete lack of respect for a relationship or engagement is bad enough. But this also demonstrates a complete lack of respect for the bonds of friendship. Or even the complete lack of respect for anyone's feelings outside of your own. Apparently Jesus was the first "snowflake millenial" as you have so patronizingly stated.

I know that you will never receive a spiritual prompting to sin, so yes, I do know that either they did not receive that revelation, or they severely misinterpreted it. How "spiritual promptings" are simply us looking for permission to do what we simply desire strongly, and twisting whatever revelation we get (if any) to simply try and align the Lord's will with our own? It shouldn't be an issue, since for most Non-Mormons, this is universally considered wrong and therefore isn't an issue.

No, not at all. Read more carefully. But in the case of a Girl leaving a guy for his friend, and the friend going along with it, than yes, absolutely. A girl can break up with a guy for whatever reason she desires. (assuming there wasn't any prior cheating involved). But the third guy doesn't have to go along with it. Especially when he is friends with the guy on the receiving end of this treatment.

They are the same thing when deceit and callousness is involved. And the guy used his agency to hurt a friend. In this case agency was involved, and it was used to hurt someone. Our lives can be ruined for a time. We may eventually move on, even if we are never really the same. Sometimes the effects are more permanent. I had to change jobs and bases since I went to mental health to vent and they decided due to the stress that I wasn't a good fit anymore for a flying job. Also my elderly dad's health has gone seriously downhill seeing his son suffer.

That's not the Lord's will. Just people seeing what they want to see. If the Lord tells you to go around your friends back and date that specific girl, you should probably reevaluate how you are interpreting the answer to your prayer. Il admit that the girl may get revelation that Guy A is not the guy for her, but he will never ever tell Guy B to destroy a friend to get what he desires. Church leadership has spoken completely contrary to this practice. ANY worthy man and woman can form a union. There isn't just one person for us.

Or more that Guy B should stay clear and not interfere with his friend's relationship or feelings or else he would be wrong, wrong, so very very wrong.