seashmore

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  1. Sad
    seashmore got a reaction from Midwest LDS in Childhood cancer   
    One of the kids in my CTR4 class (that I've been teaching for about a year, since they were Sunbeams) has just been diagnosed with leukemia. I have also just been assigned as his mom's ministering sister. I've been friends with her since the time they met in the YSA ward. They have a little guy who just turned one, and the four year old is as sweet as can be; he was so excited to tell me about his skinned knee on Sunday. 
    And I've just gotta say....I am really struggling with this. I almost feel guilty asking for prayers for myself; he's not even my kid (outside that hour on Sundays). I'm questioning how I can be of emotional support to my friend, my student, and their family when I can hardly keep it together and find faith myself. I've been having that cliche monologue: "why is this happening to him? to them? It's not fair." I've never had that reaction to any other trial. Not when my parents divorced, not when any of my relatives died, not when I got fired, not even when my sister miscarried.
    Bonus struggle: I can't find my copy of my patriarchal blessing. It's been a great strength to me for as long as I've had it, and it's not in the folder where I've kept it for almost ten years. 
  2. Thanks
    seashmore reacted to NeuroTypical in Childhood cancer   
    This part, at least, I can help with.
    https://pb.churchofjesuschrist.org/pbrequest/?lang=eng#/
     
  3. Sad
    seashmore got a reaction from NeuroTypical in Childhood cancer   
    One of the kids in my CTR4 class (that I've been teaching for about a year, since they were Sunbeams) has just been diagnosed with leukemia. I have also just been assigned as his mom's ministering sister. I've been friends with her since the time they met in the YSA ward. They have a little guy who just turned one, and the four year old is as sweet as can be; he was so excited to tell me about his skinned knee on Sunday. 
    And I've just gotta say....I am really struggling with this. I almost feel guilty asking for prayers for myself; he's not even my kid (outside that hour on Sundays). I'm questioning how I can be of emotional support to my friend, my student, and their family when I can hardly keep it together and find faith myself. I've been having that cliche monologue: "why is this happening to him? to them? It's not fair." I've never had that reaction to any other trial. Not when my parents divorced, not when any of my relatives died, not when I got fired, not even when my sister miscarried.
    Bonus struggle: I can't find my copy of my patriarchal blessing. It's been a great strength to me for as long as I've had it, and it's not in the folder where I've kept it for almost ten years. 
  4. Love
    seashmore reacted to jojo01 in Strained Sibling Relationship   
    Great idea! I've been thinking about writing these issues in my journal, in hope that I can get more clarity and let go of some of the hurt that I feel each time she overreacts. I will need to ponder on how to handle this situation if it was someone in the ward that reacted this way. When dealing with difficult people in church callings, I always focus on magnifying my calling and not getting suck into negativity. 
  5. Like
    seashmore got a reaction from jojo01 in Strained Sibling Relationship   
    The only advice I feel I can offer is to treat her the same way you would treat someone else in the ward who treated you this way.  It can be difficult, but set aside the sister aspect of the relationship, and try to vent about her treatment to those who can't be sucked in to picking sides.  (Welcome to the forum.)
  6. Like
    seashmore got a reaction from Vort in Strained Sibling Relationship   
    The only advice I feel I can offer is to treat her the same way you would treat someone else in the ward who treated you this way.  It can be difficult, but set aside the sister aspect of the relationship, and try to vent about her treatment to those who can't be sucked in to picking sides.  (Welcome to the forum.)
  7. Like
    seashmore reacted to isacarrot in Should I correct my stake presidency member/institute teacher on sensitive topic?   
    Thank you for your response!
    1) I paraphrased him. This is what he said, word for word, as best as I can remember: "When you die, if you're happy, you will be happy forever. If you're unhappy, you will be unhappy forever." This was in the context of explaining that we should stop causing our own sadness by guilting ourselves obsessively and denying the blessings of the Atonement of Christ, and that we should choose happiness. EDIT: I may have not answered your question. I talked with a handful of friends afterwards who were all convinced he had spoken incorrectly.
    2) That's what I'm asking. I'm not sure that I am.
    3) I think the most likely result is that he sends back an email thanking me for my thoughts and nothing more is done. In this case, I think that he might be edified in the sense that he is more aware of the effect of his words. Less likely, but still possible, is that he offers clarification next week, which could be edifying for those who mourn friends who've taken their lives. I think a more sensitive treatment of the topic and the humility exemplified by the teacher offering a clarification to his own teachings may bring the Spirit and edify all. You bring up a good point with your last question. As I did, I'm sure others have looked up official doctrine to know what's up. I'm worried about those who may not do that, but maybe my worry is misplaced.
  8. Like
    seashmore reacted to Jane_Doe in Strained Sibling Relationship   
    I have a sister that is pretty accurately compared to a porcupine: she's very warm and cuddly when approached from one side but the other sides... not so much.  She'll try to bully family members, and have outbursts and generally reminds me of your description.  
    I've learned that she does this because she is inwardly very insecure of herself.  Her behavior is a poor coping mechanism for that insecurity and always flares up the most then.   As for dealing with her, I've learned that I can't fix her, need to have thick skin, let her sins be between her and Christ and skip the drama.  Sometimes this involves me just ignoring her behavior.  Sometimes I walk away from her bullying (politely of course).  Retaliating or smarty-pants responses never gets anywhere-- I believe the expression is "when you play with pigs, you just get muddy and the pig is always happy".  
  9. Like
    seashmore reacted to Anddenex in Joseph Smith Translation of Luke chapter 23   
    I would say "paradise" and "world of spirits" are both correct phrases; however, "world of spirits" does not allow one to interpret "paradise" as heaven.
    Upon death we all enter the spirit world - prison or paradise. And yet, "world of spirits," does leave it open that thief could have been in either place. That would leave it open to interpretation and probably some arguments.
  10. Like
    seashmore reacted to MarginOfError in Chastity   
    This is the standard I fall back on to evaluate these questions.  It ties decision to your level of sexual arousal.  If you aren't overly aroused, don't sweat it. If you continue to get involved in these make outs specifically to get the arousal, then maybe you should dial it back.
    Keep in mind also that the nature of the relationship may play a role in the decision.  I am much less concerned with adult boyfriend and girlfriend who are moving toward marriage engaging in some make out than I am with teenagers making out on the first date.  
    While the law of chastity is clear (no sexual relations outside of marriage), there are dating-in-a-serious-relationship activities prior to marriage that are not necessarily sexual. It isn't always clear to me where the line is drawn for any two people.
  11. Like
    seashmore reacted to Jane_Doe in Chastity   
    Hi @Bri55, welcome to the forums.
    I'm going to start my question my addressing the obvious, and then going into the nuanced.
    Obviously ok: basic kissing, hand holding.  The type of stuff you'd feel completely fine doing with your grandma watching you.
    Obviously not ok: clothes coming off, inappropriate touching/kissing.
     
    More nuanced: things like prolonged passionate kissing.  For this rather than giving a Law of Moses laundry list of do's-and-don't-does, I'd rather focus on the spirit of things: is what you are doing being done to provoke those feelings which should be reserved for a husband and wife?  If you're doing A for the purposes of invoking those feelings or they do invoke those feelings, then I would back off.  
  12. Like
    seashmore reacted to Manners Matter in I hate my husband's calling (Bishop)   
    First, welcome to the forum! I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Two thoughts:
    - Can you talk to the wife of the previous bishop and/or are there people in your family (out of the area) that have been the wives of bishops? That could help you not feel so alone.
    - Remember that "what you feed, grows" so focus on the people who don't avoid you, etc as well as what's going right and the blessings you see from your husband's service.
    - Oh, and gratitude shifts your mindset, too (ie callings don't last forever - tape it on your mirror!)
    {hugs}
  13. Like
    seashmore reacted to beefche in I hate my husband's calling (Bishop)   
    I'm sorry this is happening. I've not had this issue. As I thought about practical advice, my inner rebel kept piping up, "Don't stop going to church! That means they win! Go to church and be cheerful and smiling so the old biddies will have to work even harder to push us out!" Maybe the sentiment isn't good, but I think the actions are good. Focus on people who need a friend or a kind word or a smile. Support your husband and be even kinder to him--his burden is greater due to the actions of these people. Choose faith--and sometimes it is a choice--and rely on the Lord even more. 
  14. Love
    seashmore reacted to NeuroTypical in I’m falling in love with one of our ward missionaries and I’m confused   
    Hi Alay,
    Sounds like a pretty simple issue.
    1. Don't share any of this with him while he's on his mission.  Maybe mention that you're going to Utah State too, and that you guys should look each other up when you're both there.
    2. When he's done with his mission and you're both there, look each other up and see what happens.
    Anything not on this list that you might want to do, is pretty much on the "don't do" list.   As long as he's on his mission, don't flirt, no more making goo-goo eyes.  It might feel right, but it is not right right now.  It might be right later when he's (say it with us) not on his mission any more.
    Happy being patient and waiting for the right time!
  15. Like
    seashmore reacted to clbent04 in This Week in Onion News!   
    @MarginOfError @Mores
    This is just onion news, meaning it's fake news. I don't think the Church would ever do this, but I guess it could be possible. I see them always maintaining the current URLs to redirect to the Church's website.
  16. Like
    seashmore got a reaction from BeccaKirstyn in What's your first date stories?   
    He gave a couple of different versions over CES firesides/broadcasts from about 2005-2014. I think the title was something like "dating vs. hanging out." I tried to find a link, but my iPad is acting up and not opening anything on the Church's website. 
  17. Love
    seashmore got a reaction from Sunday21 in Craziest situation ever   
    Sorry I didn't see this when you first posted, but I hope things are working out better for you.  Setting boundaries is hard, but I have faith in your abilities to do what is best for you.
  18. Like
    seashmore reacted to Vort in Altering Garments   
    I did not realize this. Thanks for the education.
  19. Like
    seashmore reacted to Manners Matter in I'm feeling hopeless, romance, love, it doesn't exist for me...   
    @without_you - First, welcome! I'm sorry you're struggling. I haven't read all the responses but what comes to my mind is 'what you feed, grows' so I suggest focusing on your strengths and what you do have/did get. Focus on the positives and choose to be optimistic and trust that things happen when they're supposed to (even if we don't see/understand it). Wishing you all the best! 
  20. Like
    seashmore reacted to anatess2 in Craziest situation ever   
    You don't.  Because, you won't be talking to them for a while.  Email is fine.  Phone calls, no.  Don't respond to emails about when the older sister is staying at your house.  She'll just have to figure out what to do when she finds the door locked.  Where she's going to stay is her problem.
    Now, this can't last forever.  This will eventually eat at you, especially with your mother.  But having zero contact right now is important until you have figured out how to set proper boundaries.
    Are you allowed an orchid?  Growing an orchid - or any other hobby plant, even growing microgreens that are also good for your diet - can be very fulfilling and it opens up a brand new community of people to stave off loneliness.
  21. Love
    seashmore reacted to zil in Craziest situation ever   
    Your family are demanding that you give up your life not to save their lives, but for their pleasure and convenience - this is murder (or slavery, if murder is too harsh for your mind, but really, what difference is there between ending a person's mortality and using it all up for your gain?).
    They are demanding that you give up your liberty for their pleasure and convenience.  This is slavery.
    They are demanding that you give up the product of your honest labor for their pleasure and convenience.  This is theft.
    Their actions are immoral and no commandment of God, nor any decent law of mankind demands that you submit yourself to it.
    Do whatever you need to, Sunday, to change your thinking on this - you have an inherent, God-given right to your own life, your own liberty, and to the product of your own honest labors.  To give any of these willingly for a righteous cause is virtuous.  To have them taken from you by force is a crime against all that is decent.
  22. Like
    seashmore reacted to zil in Craziest situation ever   
    Is it kind to enable another person's abuse?  Those who abuse need to be forced to face their own problems and take responsibility for their own actions.  It may seem unkind, but at the end of the day, it's better (for you and them) than facilitating their bad behavior.
    If necessary, consider what Zil would do and tell them to grow up and get a room.
  23. Haha
    seashmore reacted to NightSG in Craziest situation ever   
    Sounds more like you need a pet bat.
     

  24. Like
    seashmore reacted to Sunday21 in Craziest situation ever   
    Have changed locks.
    My younger sister sent info on my mother’s medications and doctor info. Very complicated. I am not going to be able to deal with the complications of this. I can’t manage my own complicated health regime. 
    My older sister will expect to stay at my house when she visits from out of town. I will not be able to have her in my house. My younger sister has a spare bed but house will be crowded. War is about to begin. Very unpleasant. 
    My therapist has recommended a friendly Protestant church. I did not go as I am frantically trying to keep up with work. I wish that I had gone. Lonely. My sisters will do their best to make my life hell.
  25. Like
    seashmore reacted to Sunday21 in Craziest situation ever   
    Good news! I may get a ministering sister! I called my former bishop’s wife and she feels that this can be arranged! Very happy 😊 
    Things are getting better!