Indeed98
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Posts posted by Indeed98
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On 7/25/2017 at 9:01 PM, anatess2 said:
As far as how slow/fast... you'll notice that the family can just roll over you in that regard... if they like you, they might pressure you into a quick marriage. If they don't, things can get almost impossible. The trick is to be a strong willed person and not get pressured into anything you are not ready to do. The girl, more than likely, will defer to her family. Which reminds me... you're not just marrying her, you're marrying the entire family. And divorce is a scarlet letter over there.
I have noticed that about her family and the area. She is more to the west of Davao but I can still see the ultraconservative side of things. Luckily her parents already like me even though they have not met me! They all seem very nice and strongly connected to the church. Things are going very well and honestly if things persist and her parents approve, I am considering very strongly in proposing. My biggest fear is that I will let my own feelings get in the way of what the spirit is telling me and I won't be able to see my mistakes before it is too late.
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On 7/22/2017 at 0:44 PM, anatess2 said:
Where in the Philippines? Cultural differences among Filipinos are as varied as the US. But all of them are clannish. You're not gonna be just dating her. You're gonna be dating her entire family. Visiting her hometown is a great way to get to know her clan. Just be prepared for all the scrutiny. It will be daunting depending on the size of her family. Lots of Filipinos gain cousins because their grandmothers were seat mates in first grade.
She is close to Davao. Yeah, she does have a large enough family haha. She's told me about her parents and siblings though and they all seem really nice.
I'm just not sure how fast/slow to take things, especially since it may be a while since we see each other again after I visit
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Very Nice /\ /\ /\ /\
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Hey, so I have been talking to this girl for a while now who is from the Philippines. I am from the US. I am going to BYUI and she is applying for BYU Hawaii. She is really sweet and is a RM and I talk with her sister sometimes as friends so I know she has feelings for me as well. I have told her that I am considering visiting her there in the Philippines, as I have been considering going on a trip this fall. Besides the obvious complications, any advice on how to proceed? Any advice on Filipina women would be appreciated hahaha
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I think the whole question got a bit out of had. I originally just wanted to see if anyone knew a lady also looking for someone. Sorry I asked I guess. Thank you Jane_Doe, I really liked your comment
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1 hour ago, Just_A_Guy said:
True; but one prerequisite to having a temple sealing that will be honored in the eternities, is receiving the spiritual blessings affiliated with the endowment. One prerequisite for receiving the spiritual blessings affiliated with the endowment (not just undergoing the ceremony, but getting the actual spiritual blessings that can accompany it) is being cleansed from the blood and sins of your generation.
So I would encourage you to think long and hard about what you have done/are doing, in lieu of a mission, to spread the gospel of repentance to your fellowman so that you don't someday find yourself held accountable for their sins.
Priesthood ordination isn't just something you go through en route to the greater goal of wedding and bedding some sweet Mormon girl. It's a commitment to spiritually wear out one's own life in the service of others. Wise LDS girls who consider you as a marriage prospect will expect to see that commitment embodied in your life--if not through missionary service, then by some comparable sacrifice. A girl who doesn't encourage/expect that of you, might well not be a Mormon (at least, not a very active one) for very long once you're married, since sooner or later she will start to resent the inconveniences that service in the Church inevitably impose on your time and resources. In which case--you may as well go ahead and start dating non-members now.
I have actually thought about serving in one of the mission programs for the alternative missions. Don't get me wrong, I wont be wasting my time partying or sitting at home playing video games. I plan to live the best I can and participate in church where possible. I just dont think I have a desire, nor am I really ready, to serve a mission now. And I definitely dont want to marry just for the heck of it or because I am bored. But, I realize if I am not going to go on a mission, I need to pursue worth while things that greatly add to my future, like an education and marriage. And I still understand a mission would be totally worth the time and bring blessings, but it is not want I want.
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31 minutes ago, yjacket said:
Typical millennial claptrap.
No ifs,and, or buts, for a young priesthood holder, mission service is a duty and and obligation.
So basically what you are saying is: you want to do what you want to do (i.e. not serving a mission), you want to get married, you understand in general LDS girls don't seriously date non-members or RMs. But you feel you are special and the girl you date/marry is going to be so much more spiritual b/c she sees you based upon your personal testimony and you don't want to lower your standards.
Talk about wanting your cake and eating it too!! You are very funny. I've got news for you based upon what you are currently saying, any stalwart LDS girl would be lowering her standards to marry you. No wonder you can't find anyone to date!
The 2nd bold portion is hilarious . . .another typical millennial claptrap reasoning of everyone is a STAR!!! Look at me, I didn't serve a mission, not b/c I couldn't but b/c I choose not too and no one should hold me back b/c of it.
Hey kid. Lesson #1 in life. The world does not revolve around you, nor does it revolve around what you want-in fact it could care less about what you want in life.
If you don't want to serve a mission, that's fine. You just need to accept the realities and consequences of what that means. Instead of pouting that "no one should hold you back" . . .really??? I've never seen another LDS member who didn't serve a mission be actively held back (i.e. no one says, welp nope you can't serve as EQP b/c you didn't serve a mission . .. how ridiculous). What I have seen is that b/c of their choices, they held themselves back. And there is a big, big difference.
You don't want to serve a mission, cool. But you need to accept the reality of what that will mean; which is that you will self-select out of the dating pool for many good LDS girls . . .and that is perfectly acceptable. I will advise my girls to not seriously date boys who could have served but did not serve. If you accept that reality, cool, if not-well good luck kicking against the pricks.
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A separate question is why should being an RM be a good qualifier for dating material. Well, that is a separate answer, but suffice it to say-yes it is a very good selector.
Im not saying that I am in some way super special or that I should be rewarded or anything like that. I just understand that not all women in the church, Id even say a fair amount of them, dont necessarily require a mission in their spouse. I take it you are a dad/grandfather who is a member and live in an area where the church has a relatively high influence, but the fact is, outside of utah and idaho, missions are not as frequent. The only reason I asked the original question in the first place is because there aren't many peeople single and my age around; most are either older, married, or going to college at a byu school. Im sorry that I dont really care about the stoic, sarcastic comments about my views on a mission. I like to at least look for more than being a sunday mormon that marries a trophy wife and then comes on the internet to do nothing but look for satisfaction in trying to one-up someone younger with shallow arguments.
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Also, as far as marriage and whether a girl would date/marry me for not going on a mission, not all mormon girls are the same. I know several wont date nonmembers or members who havent gone on missions, but that is not everyone. That is their decision and is perfectly fine, but personally I think I would rather date someone who is more understanding and bases merit on both personal testimony and traits she finds attractive.
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10 hours ago, Carborendum said:
OK. Then in that case, stop it. Get ready for a mission. Then worry about this stuff after you come home.
Yeah, no. At this point in my life, I feel that I want to focus on school and pursuing marriage. Despite what is commonly believed by those in the church, a mission is a personal decision and should be an opportunity as opposed to an obligation. Not all of my reasons for why im not going are of my own doing, but it is largely my own desires that I am pursuing.
7 hours ago, DoctorLemon said:The reason I wanted to make that clear is there was actually a guy on this forum who was having trouble finding people willing to date him, because (according to him) he converted after mission age and no one would date him because he was not an RM. I do not believe the convert should be condemned for not making a choice he never had. Same goes for those who are physically unable to go.
I generally dislike stigmas. However, being fully honest with myself, when someone is actually a member in their late teens and had a perfect opportunity to go and should be on a mission but doesn't want to give up comfort, that shows a certain level of lukewarmth. Members who are lukewarm risk going to the Terrestrial Kingdom, according to numerous Church talks. So, while, to some extent, I dislike the "don't date someone who is not an RM" stigma, I do think the stigma makes a lot of sense when dealing with young men who had a clear and open opportunity to go and just didn't want to be inconvenienced with the Lord's work. I would not want my daughter to marry someone who is lukewarm in the gospel. If my daughter were dating someone who had blown off going on a mission solely because he didn't want the inconvenience, I would certainly hope he had repented of his past slothfulness and got a little more serious about the gospel, at very least.
I understand that stigmas are a bad source of resentment and ridicule in the church. I agree that those that were not able to go are not at fault and that they will not be punished for that. However, going on a mission, although a wonderful opportunity, is NOT required for celestial glory, as a temple marriage, baptism, etc. are. In areas with high membership it is seen to be that way at times and missions are seen as more of a draft rather than an enlistment. Anyone who wants to go on a mission has my full support and love and I think it is a great opportunity to serve. But, those that chose not to, like I am, are not going to be held back because of their decision and should not be ridiculed because of it.
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15 hours ago, Just_A_Guy said:
Welcome, @hewasamormonboy.
I like that you're setting high standards for dating partners. But dating is usually a precursor to marriage, and given the slim pickings in your area--maybe you can put serious dating "on the shelf" until after your mission, when you'll (presumably) have more options in terms of relocation?
The thing is, I don't think I am going on a mission. There's a number of reasons, none of them worthiness, but I think the next step in life for me is to continue school and look for someone to marry.
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Hi, I am new to the site, just wanted to ask anyone who might be able to help. I am having a hard time finding any young lady who is a member to date. I live in an area with few mormons and because of current circumstances, I am not able to move. I am 19, red headed, going to school for accounting. I have a strong testimony, and I want anyone I date seriously to have the same, or atleast an understanding of the gospel. I am open minded to nonmembers, I just dont want to lower my standards and lose any chance of the spirit being involved. Anyway, if anyone knows any single lady that has similar issues, let me know. I dont want to seem awkward or desperate, just frustrated. Thanks
Internet Girlfriend
in Marriage and Relationship Advice
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She feels very strongly about me as well and I think she would say yes if I proposed as long as her parents were ok with it, but it is hard to tell what the spirit is telling me and what is just my hopes. I know this sounds terrible, but it does cost a lot to go out there and I am totally willing to put forth the time, money, and effort to do it, but not if I know it will only end baddly.