jewels8

(to Anatees)

I appreciate you sharing your experience. I'm sorry it didn't work out better for you.

I guess sometimes the outcome doesn't come the way we would expect.

I had mentioned about them in previous posts, and that was in the past

Its not something I really often think about, its just come to my mind again lately, and I doubt I have any reason to worry. It just seems that this man that was in the bishopbric and his wife seem to have an influence that seems to have not been helpful for me in the wards I have been in, at times. They tend to be in higher callings and seem to say thing and or do things that have come across to the leadership in the wrong way, and it seems unfair, and not in my favor, and not in perhaps my family's favor.

I mean, under what circumstances do they release you from callings and are there ever cases of being released for unapproved reasons or because a leader is uncomfortable or there is a miscommunication? Are there any guidelines about this? Also are there ever cases where something could be put on your record without your knowledge that could prevent you from getting callings? I would think not, and I probably have nothing to worry about in that regard, but just curious , in general. I know the Gospel is true, and i know I can talk to my bishop if I ever wanted to. And I would hope that i wasn't released for any kind of misunderstanding.

I guess I could say something, I just thought that the bishopbric would see callings that need fillling, pray about them, and have people come to mind and/or look over ward lists and have those names come to mind. But I guess we will see. In some ways it is nice to have more time to devote to my family, but then I don't want to be selfish and I know if my husband and I were asked to serve, we would accept a calling or callings and try to do our best. I was kind of concerned about how my last calling ended and this may seem kind of petty. I was in Primary, and I enjoyed it very much and felt the spirit and loved teaching and interacting with the children and adults. A member of our bishopbric would come give a monthly message and the primary pres was very nice to him, at times it just seemed they were so friendly. I know it wasn't most of the time, but I sometimes thought it was too much. One time, I caught his eye and gave him a look and then looked her way and back to him , as if to say, be careful. Anyways, whether I should have just not done that or not, or if he may have not known what I was doing, I meant well. There had been something else that had occurred before, not with them, and not a big thing, but, I guess I just had my radar on, and I won't discuss it here, that was in the past, but anyways, not long after that, I was released from my calling. When I was released, the bishop just simply said he appreciated my service and that we had alot of new families coming in that needed callings. He said not to be too comfortable, because I'd probably get another calling soon. But I never did. Maybe he just said that last part to everybody. And I know he was sincere. My replacement was not really very new, although we had been in the ward years longer than her. That's ok, but I hoped what I had done hadn't somehow got me released from my calling. Did I make the member of the bishopbric uncomfortable so that he wanted me released? Did I make the primary Pres, who didn't see my exchange, uncomfortable, and maybe he talked to her, thinking my look meant I wanted a release, and she thought they should release me? But then why wouldn't she talk to me first? Or maybe I was just probably too concerned with it and it truly was an inspired thing to be released? Because the other reason was definitely not what I would consider inspiration. I just was surprised to be released and hoped there wasn't some kind of underlying church "politics" involved with it. I know that sounds awful. I just really enjoyed that calling. I would hope you wouldn't be released for petty reasons like that. Anyways, I won't let it bother me, but what are your thoughts? Does anyone have any experience with that? Could they be putting notes on a record or telling the next bishop I don't want a calling or a primary calling against me knowing it for something like that without coming to me first? What is Church policy and do they always follow it?

Most of my and my husband's life we have had callings. We are both good, active church members. We do have some unique family members, but nothing that I think would prevent us from fulfilling most callings. Yet in the last ward we were in, we were not given a calling for a quite a while or asked to speak in church, for years. Finally, I said something to a friend. I would think I wouldn't have to ask to get a calling, but it ended up that's how I got one. She told I guess her husband, who was in the bishopbric, and I got a calling. My husband got a calling before that. I'm not sure how inspired getting my calling was, but I sure enjoyed and felt greatful for the 7 years I served as a Primary teacher. Then I was released, much to my surprise. My husband was released around the same time from teaching in the elders quorum. We thought maybe they would call us to something together. But no calls came to either one of us. A few months later, our stake boundaries were changed. We changed wards. WE have been in our new ward for over 6 months now. We have both been without callings for over a year now. We have always been home /visiting teachers (now ministering teachers or whatever the title is called) but I just don't know how appropriate it would be to say, can we get a calling or why or should we just wait. I wonder why some people just don't get callings. Are there some seasons in life where maybe you just don't? We do have special needs kids. We are busy, but then so is everyone else. I do enjoy going to my other classes at Church and I work, but it just makes me wonder if God really doesn't want me and my husband to have a calling right now, if it matters, or what. and when I see someone having 2 callings and me none, I think why don't they spread the callings out more? Do they think I don't want a calling? It just seems strange. My husband and I have always been willing to serve.

I mean, I hope the principles will still continue

Yes, I know that had changed. I guess I needed to use different terminology. What I meant is , will there still be some sort of monthly guidance in the Ensign for ministering? I think their might be

will there be a monthly lesson still in the Ensign?

are you sure we don't report monthly?

I think that the new changes that are made in the Church are inspired. I know that Pres. Nelson is the Lord's mouthpiece, His prophet on the earth today. I think the concept of ministering helps to give a more personalized way to serve each other and I think it does, I know for me, remind me of the responsibility I have to seek revelation in how to serve those that I have been given stewardship over. Not that I don't already do those things, but it helps me to realize the importance of magnifying even more what I should do to help in the lives of those that the Lord wants me to serve and follow those promptings more, even if I do have a busy life and special family circumstances, at times. It is i nteresting too, to see the change in the priesthood quorums, with the high priests and elder's quorum's coming in together, even though there will still be a high priest quorum, at a stake level, as I understand it. I am not mentioning everything I know about it in this post, but just putting down some things about these changes and that I know they are inspired to better serve others and that that the Lord has a purpose for this at this time.

They have been really nice friends for a long time and share similiar values it is a homeschool, private homeschool

but I see what you are saying, I work and we can't afford the time or money for us doing it ourselves , we have some other special needs kids too

it is a homeschool, private homeschool

I grew up in a good public school system in Southern California. I had good teachers, was a good student, got mostly A's and B's, enjoyed school and learning, and I didn't encounter many problems. There was a bully or two, but not too bad, and I never saw drugs or things like that, even though I know they existed. I went to early morning seminary and was taught in a morally good setting, generally. My husband also had a public education in Wyoming and Utah that seemed pretty good, as well. Our kids have been going to public school. Our oldest graduated, and our 2nd will graduate this year-but both have special needs and are/will be in post hs programs. Our other kids have recently expressed concern for public school. In Jan, we let them start a homeschool program at another LDS friend's home, they do the online Dr. Glen J. Kimber Academy, a private LDS based school. Also, our kids are in a Friday co-op, to have a social environment, on Mondays too. For the most part, it is a good thing. Dr. Kimber and his wife are very patriotic, and use the Gospel in their teaching of the subject matter. The only things that I wish were more different is that my friend has the classes in bedrooms, they are sitting at a table with chairs, but my 13 year old girl, and her best friend and her brother (14) are in his bedroom. I didn't know this at first and am trying to change it, as I don't feel it is the best setting. I know they already kind of "like" each other, even though they act like typical friends. I think of The Strength of Youth pamphlet, and I want to keep a good foundation for my kids. I wasn't aware at first that they were in bedrooms, well, and at first they were at the kitchen table. My younger son and his friend, a girl are at a table and chairs in the parents bedroom upstairs, they are 9 . And the teens are downstairs. The 2nd thing that bothers me is that even though this is school, there is an incentive every year for the kids to raise $2,000 to go on a trip with the Kimbers to Israel. Parents can go too (which is an additional $2,000) But, who has that kind of money? Not us! We also have a severe special needs kid who we couldn't take with us or have watched. I don't like the idea of sending my daughter half way across the world like that, even if they are in an LDS group. My husband is for it, but I'm not. I need to work to support our family. My friend, who is "rich" just keeps saying it would be a good experience for them. Why don't they use the money to help the starving people of this world? They would be going on an archeological tour and seeing I guess places the Savior had been to increase their testimony. A wonderful thought, but an expensive way to increase one's testimony. And not necessary. I don't like my kids feeling excited about doing this when I don't feel its the best thing or best timing. We already borrow money from my mom, or have, why should we raise up money and do that? It just doesn't seem right, or possible with our other kid or with my need to work. My friend knows our situation, but just can't seem to control her own impulses and then my kids and husband think they need to focus on this. The 3rd thing is that Dr. Kimber's criteria for them to graduate from high school, from his private school, to get a diploma, is that they have to do a 4,000 fact thesis on history facts on what they call "hook dates" These are special dates in history. They study these dates in class. They need 1,000 from The Book of Mormon, 1,000 from American history, and so on. I don't know how any body can come up with 100 facts about The Brother of Jared, etc. I don't know. It seems a bit much for high school. Its not college. Dr. Kimber has been doing this for like 30 years, but still it seems a bit much for a high school graduate. That's a lot of writing to do, every week for 5 years to get it done. The public schools in Utah right now, at least where we are, seem to be pretty good. I mean, they haven't been indoctrinated with some of the disgusting things other states have, but it is important to be careful. There is so much going on nowadays. Its too bad things have changed. I just wish some of this homeschooling could be a little easier and a better match with what public schools were doing when I was growing up. I really wish these private ones didn't have such crazy and time consuming rules or that I have to deal with issues that I was trying to avoid. I have sent an email to my friend about the class room and to Dr. Kimber. I want my kids to be comfortable with their education, and they do enjoy their homeschool, I just don't want it to be to much or become a problem for our family.

P.S. I realize my post may have sounded too negative as I reread it. I meant that you aren't going "through the motions" , you are Living the Gospel, so I apologize for that. You are a strong man and father for all you are doing, and I commend you for all this. I really hope you are able to find the support you need. I think it is great how you are doing these things in your home. I tried to be positive, but if I wasn't as positive as I meant to be, if I didn't come across that way, I do apologize. Know that the Lord loves you and your family. Also, you can always receive a blessing of strength and comfort, anytime you need it, as can your children, either from you, or from family, home teachers, anyone who is able to do that.

I am so sorry to hear that you and your children are having to go through this. For whatever reason, your ex , even if she can't see how wrong it is to go against the truth of the Gospel in one sense, maybe she can hopefully see how emotionally abusive this is, and legally this is wrong. I would pray & fast about this. I would not be silent with your kids on this. Think about it. Your going through the motions of the Gospel, which is admirable, your showing your testimony through your example, and through word and deed. Your wife is vocally slamming you & the Church, using the sophistries of Satan, or whatever she is learning, from whatever source she is getting her material from. Your kids are having to be indoctrinated by this, due to the law. What can you do to change the law, as much as possible? What can you do to fortify your kids, as much as possible? Particularly the 11 year old? Or any of them? Talk to your kids. Talk to them often. Prayerfully find out what each one needs. Bless your heart, its not easy, but the Lord knows your situation, and He will guide you. Bear testimony. He knows what she is doing. He knows what your kids need. Pray for your kids. He can even put people in their paths to guide them and the Holy Ghost to teach them when you are not there. Talk to the bishop. Can the kids and maybe you see an LDS family counselor? Someone who can help you combat this as a team, as a family? If the kids see the Church as the Truth, see you all as Defenders of Truth, see there mother as someone they love and care for, but as someone who is "a lost sheep" instead of seeing you as being what she says you are, it can change things. Its ok to talk to the kids about their mom. Of course you don't want to put her in a negative light. But you do need to talk about it the way it is. Pray with the kids together about helping her find the light again. A counselor may help the kids get over the emotional abuse against what she's saying about you and the church and the destruction it has on pulling down testimonies, faith, self worth and identity. I think what we are is so much tied into our beliefs. These kids hopefully will not become confused in this world of choices during this time. I commend you for reaching out and for showing a good example to your kids. She needs to stop putting you and the Church down, or at least there needs to be a way to fortify the kids and you as much as possible. You'll be in my prayers.

I am sorry about some of those things I may have come across in my posts. I did not say that I didn't have any respect for God, but I did say that I did respect monogomy and those that practice it and it is easier to respect those that do. However, I do not understand everything. I do have a testimony of the Gospel And I do believe it is important to have faith in our Father in Heaven and His plan . I do believe it is important to be charitable and forgiving. I , of course, pray and talk to Him about things and apologize to Him as needed, but that is a personal thing that I don't have to bring up. It really is no one's business what my relationship with Him is . It is not something I always focus on or struggle with. There are many aspects of the Gospel and many aspects of life that fill up my time, really. I am sorry if I have reacted to those who have attacked me in a way that was unbecoming and in a way that I normally would not be like. I did not react at first, but anyway, I do believe it is important to give others the same kindness that I wish to receive. And I do appreciate the kindness I have received. And it can be easy for people that are generally pretty decent people to over react at times. It happens. My family attended our Stake Conference together. Our Stake Patriarch, Rod Merrill, who is also a family doctor, spoke about The Book of Mormon. He is also a big family history man. A great man. He spoke about the Book of Mormon being the Keystone and talked about us pondering its origin. He talked about how those that oppose the Church cannot discredit it. How could Joseph Smith write a 500 plus page book in such a short amount of time with all the eloquent words of King Benjamin's speech, the doctrines of Christ (the name of the Savior is mentioned so many times in its pages), and their is chiasmus throughout the Book of Mormon, their are phrases that are put on refrigerator doors, how could Joseph do this without any notes, these are messages that live, breathe and inspire, and he did this in 300 and something days? Sister Jane Pulver , from my Stake, spoke about the youth of the Church, and how parents can teach and guide them in these last days. Moroni saw our day and asked some of the less valiant covenant people of the last days why they were ashamed to take upon them the Gospel of Christ. She talked about how youth have so many questions with the big decisions of life they face today in these perilous times. Life is sure not what it was when I was growing up, as much. I was so sheltered. There is so much more rampant today that I did not see or know about back then about drugs, fornication, abortion legalizing marijuana, changes of what society accepts as marriage, divorce rates, fatherlessness, higher rates of murder, rapes and suicides, dishonesty, theft, etc. Sis. Pulver talked about how we need to be able to be there to give the answers to these youth, to be available, to not be afraid to teach them . We need to have the Spirit, to be informed, to be straight forward. To teach women to be mothers, to teach the value of education and a career when appropriate, to teach about safety, to teach to obey the commandments, to study our scriptures, to pray, to be temple worthy, to choose wise friends and entertainment. Our Stake President spoke about doing our best, but not overdoing. He said we learn and grow by "doing just one more:" as in a gym, when developing muscular strength, or endurance. Doing one more repetition. It may seem that it is impossible, but in doing so, an athlete becomes stronger. A spotter, or coach knows this, although, at first, the athlete, may think the coach or spotter does not care and may be asking more of him or her than he or she can give. But that is not the case, a wise coach or spotter knows this will make them better in the end. So it is spiritually. We may be asked to do something in the Church that stretches our spiritual muscles. We may be asked to fulfill a calling that seems beyond our capabilities or our time constraints. Of course, we need to be mindful of our health, including mental health and family situation, but we also can grow spiritually and stretch in ways we didn't before. We can converse with our leaders and pray about anything that we need to. We need not run faster than we have strength but also need not let Easy Street disguise our best efforts. We had the privilege of having Elder Blake M. Roney, of the Seveny, attend our Stake Conference. I was able to meet him and shake his hand. He complimented our special need son, who is on his service mission, he is such a nice man. He spoke on forgiveness. I really liked his talk. He was so down to earth and kind that it just made me want to be forgiving to everyone. I just love it when people have that Spirit about them. I just love to feel that way! I wish I could feel that way all the time. He spoke about Matthew 25, about the talents. How one was given 10, one 5 and one 1. And how life may not seem fair. They weren't all given the same amount of talents. But that wasn't the important thing. Of course 2 of them were productive, increased their talents and were blessed. The 3rd hid his talent, and it was taken away, he was slothful, and it was given to the one with 10. He said that life is a test. When the ward talent show comes, he has nothing. (bless his heart, I feel the same way) Some people have many talents. But we can all show the love of the Lord. He said our mission on earth has to do with the 2 great commandments: Love the Lord, and Love our neighbor. That is it. (as a side note, on my mission, there;s the joke, and I don't mean anything by this, but that sisters love people into the Gospel, it just reminded me of that, that's all) Anyways, we are to lift them So our opportunity is to bless others. He said if a family has sickness, or death, Yes, its sad, but it doesn't matter in the sense that we have the opportunity to bless others with that. We can be with our family again. We can move closer to the Savior and help others to do so inspite of those things. He said the biggest Roadblock to getting closer to the Savior that he has seen is not forgiving others. He spoke about forgiveness in Matthew 18. How the servant owed his Master 10,000 talents and the master forgave him. But then the servant went to his hireling and locked him up for owing him a small sum. Then the master came back and punished him for not showing the same kindness. If we don't forgive others, the Lord won't forgive us. One time Elder Roney kicked a 'ball" It stuck to the ground, and to get his "revenge" he kicked it again. Well, it was a medical ball, filled with metal beads, and when he did that, it burst and it really hurt. When we don't forgive, it hurts us. When we forgive, it blesses us. And when we forgive someone who doesn't deserve it, its like we get a coupon in the kingdom. I really enjoyed his talk and felt like I needed that. I know that this is the Lord's true Church on the earth today. I know that our Father in Heaven and His Son love us and that Pres. Nelson is his prophet on the earth today. I know that The Book of Mormon is the word of God. I know that Joseph Smith is the Prophet of the Restoration. And I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

I'll have to try that , thank you

We know that there have been and will be many false Christ's in the world and people that claim to follow Him. David Korash, Montreyuh (spelling might be wrong), the guy who took Eliizabeth Smart, and the list can go on. I wonder if these people had any similarities. Did they suffer from mental illness, did they have terrible home lives, did they do drugs, were they afflicted with demons, and they were led astray. How sad that some have followed people like this and have been victims of their delusions or false teachings. Why anyone would choose to go that far is beyond me.

I think that is where it must have been a reference from, but I confess I don't remember the source and don't have my book right now. I need to get my family some lunch right now, but maybe I can look it up later. Good question.

My husband proposed to me in the Celestial room of the Los Angeles Temple. It is a beautiful memory I will always cherish forever.

My husband got us started last year on the Roger K. Young books, and I finally had to hide them, it just got to be too much.