Flockling7

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    Texas
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    LDS

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  1. Wow! New to this forum and what a thread. i too felt the same way about the garments. I hated them, loathed them, called them every name in the book. I joined the church after I was married, went to the temple after first daughter was born. Wore garments for about a year then decided it was unnecessary 24/7. I live in Texas where it’s hot and humid ALL THE TIME. I don’t dress immodest, I just didn’t want extra layers. For me, I too felt bad not wearing them. I went to my bishop and he just simply told me to read the book Believe in Christ. (I think that’s the name). I read about half, prayed, and decided to stick it out. Found the fabric that worked best, prayed and here I am. its a hard thing to do, I am very empathetic. i would just ask you a couple of questions 1). Are you looking for justification of your actions? If so, then pray...it’s the only honest answer that matters. 2). Be ok with what apparently is going on, others judgements. Why anyone but your husband know when you do or do not wear garments is questionable. Who cares? I have found that when I see others disobedience, I am the jugemental one. Maybe you are feeling a tad bit guilty?? Don’t know, just a thought. I did. I would look at others and see them not wearing them and feel my heart swell in being right. Ha!! 3). Garments are personal. How you wear them, when you wear them is all you. Be ok with it. Be ok with the consequences. Are you ok with the consequences? Be them good or negative? And there will be for all of us, right? Be ok, be at peace.
  2. Thank you i agree that this deeper issue needs to be resolved, preferably ASAP. He just says we try, it gets better, then worse again and he doesn’t know if he can do that cycle again. It’s too painful. So yes, I think I will need to seek counseling alone. And not to play the blame game, I own my part of the problems as well. as for my son.....not to get too detailed here but the lawyers were to protect my husband and I, and my other kids. I don’t pay anything for him, no phone, nothing. He doesn’t have a car or even a drivers license because I won’t insure him. By law, in Tx, as of 2 yrs ago, parents are responsible for their kids education until they are 19 or graduate HS. So we got him in an alternative public school so he could graduate a semester early. So after the 20th of this month I’m done. I told him he has a week to find a new home. Yes, I hope that will help with some stress. sorry, new question....,do I tell him I found the liquor? If so, do I let him decide if he wants to keep it or not? thanks again
  3. Thank you so much for your responses. i don’t feel like I’m judging him reguarding the hypocrisy, just that I feel so incredibly guilty seeing him serve knowing what I know. (Is that judging?) I have told him in the past that I was fine with his drinking, still am, just to be honest about it. I guess unless someone(bishop) comes out and straight ups asks him, he will live this “lie”. I almost want to ask if he wants to leave the church so he can drink.....maybe I’m asking for myself? I did ask if he still had a testimony and he said he did, ...but then how can he drink? I feel like a 2 yr old, I just don’t get it? I guess I have lying issues? youre both right in that I need to be a safe place for him. I am trying: we both have specific instances(down to the day) that the other has wronged us and we still harbor resentment towards each other . I don’t know how to move along/get over it with out outside help....ie a 3rd party POV. Yet, we are still dealing with the troubled son....so our marriage gets out in the back burner. Yes, it is wrong. Maybe I do need to see someone myself? I just don’t know. I just want to go to bed and stay there until this all goes away. My eyes are sore daily from all the tears. We have cut back other activities because things just got too crazy. Each kid can do one outside activity. So really only 3 kids doing stuff (one in college, other son...trouble...). Thank you you again for being so direct and honest. I am at such a loss and have no one to talk to about any of this. Thank you
  4. So I have discovered that my husband of 21 yrs is drinking alcohol. I have found it hidden multiple times. I have confronted him and he says when he can’t sleep he will drink some to help. Yes I suggested melatonin, and even a prescription sleep aid. Plus he said it’s stress, and this is how he copes.<—this is the real reason he drinks I believe. now, we are in a stressful situation. Quick explanation, 18 yr old son is causing havoc, even got himself arrested. (And more to that story and kid.....)This stress of course has taken a tole on our marriage. So yeah, we aren’t in a good place. He won’t go to counseling, inside or outside the church. Says it’s a waist of time when what we really need is to use that time to spend together. We have 5 kids and we both are constantly running around getting them places and we both now work. (Lawyers are expensive and I had to go back to work) my problem is the hypocracy. How can he call himself a worthy member? I just don’t get it. I am a convert of 20 yrs now, he is a lifetime member that even went on a mission. Am I being judgmental? Do I tell the bishop? I told him he has a problem, of course he denied it. This has been going on off and on for about a year now. i keep snooping when I feel like he is hiding ...and I keep finding bottles. I think he thinks our son Finds some or most of them....cuz we know he snooped and I actually found one in my sons room. He knows I have found 2 and threw them out. But I currently have 3 hidding that I found, one just an hour ago. I just don’t know what to do. Any help would be much appreciated