Mjd1174

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  1. Like
    Mjd1174 got a reaction from seashmore in New-ish Member, Considering Marriage   
    So very true! We started a practice early on of asking "Random Questions" in our texts and regular conversation. They can be anything from "What's your favourite food?" to "How many children do you want?" etc. So we've covered a lot of the topics you mentioned and we do align on most of the big stuff and a lot of the small stuff, and what we don't align on, so far, we've been very good about listening to the other perspective and taking it on board. However, I'm very grateful for new "Random Questions" to ask him.
  2. Like
    Mjd1174 reacted to Fether in New-ish Member, Considering Marriage   
    And that’s cause we aren’t invested in the here and now as much as we are invested in eternity
  3. Like
    Mjd1174 reacted to Midwest LDS in New-ish Member, Considering Marriage   
    It can work @Mjd1174 but remember the more you know about your spouse before you get married, the better your chance of having a successful marriage. I dated my wife for 7 and a half months before we got engaged (she was 19 and I was about to turn 23). I followed my dad's advice to wait 6 months before proposing so we could get to know each other first and I would reccomend the same to you. We talked about marriage before that certainly, but it gave us a chance to get to know each other and, more importantly in my mind, see how we handled being sad, depressed, angry etc. Seeing if you are compatible with a future partner is vital, because it's better to find out you can't stand another person's reactions before you dedicate yourselves to each other eternally, than to feel stuck later. Best of luck to you guys regardless, I hope your relationship goes well.
  4. Like
    Mjd1174 reacted to Jane_Doe in New-ish Member, Considering Marriage   
    I met my future husband on my 13th birthday (when he kicked me in the face with a soccer ball).  We did become friends, and about the age of 22 started hanging out jus the two of us (just refusing the dating label).  At 24 we were engaged, 25 married. 
  5. Like
    Mjd1174 reacted to Fether in New-ish Member, Considering Marriage   
    I feel like any fear about getting married too quickly is coming from a society where marriage solely a binding (it’s sypposed to be at least) agreement for life in which you get one partner, and if you pick wrong, then your life will suck.
    Dating in the church, we have word from the prophets of God that any 2 righteously living adults of opposite genders can make a relationship work. ALSO, while dating in the church, you are meeting and dating people with the same goals and standards. Though this doesn’t prevent problems in relationships, it does make it much easier.
    i knew my wife for 4 months (only dated 3) before we talked about marriage. I knew her (and I am not referring to the biblical term “knew her”) for 7 months by the time we were married. 
    Dating in the world seems to have phases you must go through before marriage is considered:
    1) Meet
    2) Date
    3) Sex
    4) Move in together
    5) Road Trip
    6) Get engaged
    7) Get married 10 years after engagement
    in the church, we cut out the middle 3 (though road trips are still an option... just go with friends and don’t sleep together), and get married sooner
  6. Like
    Mjd1174 reacted to Jane_Doe in New-ish Member, Considering Marriage   
    Don't rush.  Spend your time getting to know other and your families.  Make sure you discuss and understand each other deeply in terms of beliefs, lifestyle, cleanliness, money management, chore management, work-life balance, raising kids, number of kids, education etc.  Pre-martial counseling is a fantastic thing.  
    Showing your family and friends how you've looked into things, done counseling, etc.  That will naturally alleviate their concerns that you are rushing things.  
  7. Like
    Mjd1174 reacted to eVa in New-ish Member, Considering Marriage   
    Welcome @Mjd1174 !!  In addition to what @zil has said.  I have found it very helpful to meet as a couple with the bishop and stake president.  Their experience, spiritual insight and leadership can help immensely.  Best wishes on your pursuits!
  8. Like
    Mjd1174 reacted to anatess2 in New-ish Member, Considering Marriage   
    The first step is to acknowledge that they mean well and they love you.  And... they may have a good reason to be concerned which you need to think about... so listen to them and see if their concerns are valid - if they are, then address those concerns, if not, then just let it go.  In any case, you're the one getting married and so you're gonna have to be able to stand up to your decisions with love and patience for those who care about you.
  9. Thanks
    Mjd1174 reacted to zil in New-ish Member, Considering Marriage   
    PS: Welcome, @Mjd1174!