Lost Boy

If I know for a fact abuse is going on, I would certainly report it.  If I don't know for certain, I doubt I would do anything.  The nanny state can't prove what I know or don't know.

If I know for a fact abuse is going on, I would certainly report it.  If I don't know for certain, I doubt I would do anything.  The nanny state can't prove what I know or don't know.

Ten years ago I had a good friend.  His brothers were truckers and he was more on the business side of things.  We got to talking one day about how much money could be made in trucking.  And from that point going forward, we started collaborating on setting up a business together.  Things had progressed to the point that we were ready to draw up a contract.  But then we started talking money.  He wanted to handle most of the day-to-day parts of the business, but he wanted me to pretty much fund the $100k that we would need to start it.  I didn't like that at all and thought that he should have skin in the game.
That is when things started to fall apart.  He accused me of trying to back out of the deal and that I wasn't being honest with him.  Shortly thereafter we were no longer friends.  I haven't spoken with him since.  I harbor no ill feelings toward him, but he does toward me.
I don't have any good advice for you other than if the partnership doesn't feel right to you, you should probably not do it.

Ten years ago I had a good friend.  His brothers were truckers and he was more on the business side of things.  We got to talking one day about how much money could be made in trucking.  And from that point going forward, we started collaborating on setting up a business together.  Things had progressed to the point that we were ready to draw up a contract.  But then we started talking money.  He wanted to handle most of the day-to-day parts of the business, but he wanted me to pretty much fund the $100k that we would need to start it.  I didn't like that at all and thought that he should have skin in the game.
That is when things started to fall apart.  He accused me of trying to back out of the deal and that I wasn't being honest with him.  Shortly thereafter we were no longer friends.  I haven't spoken with him since.  I harbor no ill feelings toward him, but he does toward me.
I don't have any good advice for you other than if the partnership doesn't feel right to you, you should probably not do it.

Ten years ago I had a good friend.  His brothers were truckers and he was more on the business side of things.  We got to talking one day about how much money could be made in trucking.  And from that point going forward, we started collaborating on setting up a business together.  Things had progressed to the point that we were ready to draw up a contract.  But then we started talking money.  He wanted to handle most of the day-to-day parts of the business, but he wanted me to pretty much fund the $100k that we would need to start it.  I didn't like that at all and thought that he should have skin in the game.
That is when things started to fall apart.  He accused me of trying to back out of the deal and that I wasn't being honest with him.  Shortly thereafter we were no longer friends.  I haven't spoken with him since.  I harbor no ill feelings toward him, but he does toward me.
I don't have any good advice for you other than if the partnership doesn't feel right to you, you should probably not do it.

I can give you a little insight.  I served a mission in Japan from 89-91.  When I got to Japan, we were using the Morumon Kei... the name of the Book of Mormon in Japanese.  When I left, we were using the Morumon Sho... the recently re-translated version of the Book of Mormon into Japanese.  The new translation was much easier to read and understand.
And chance was that I was in the ward of the primary translator for the Morumon-Sho.  He was not a general authority, nor do I recall him being in the stake presidency or anything like that.  But he was very well versed in the gospel and gave me insights to the gospel that I didn't have.  One of those was the meaning of the word atonement.  His explanation of the word, made more sense to me when he explained it in Japanese.
At any rate, in this case, the translation was done by a member who both understood English and Japanese very well and the gospel, too.

I can give you a little insight.  I served a mission in Japan from 89-91.  When I got to Japan, we were using the Morumon Kei... the name of the Book of Mormon in Japanese.  When I left, we were using the Morumon Sho... the recently re-translated version of the Book of Mormon into Japanese.  The new translation was much easier to read and understand.
And chance was that I was in the ward of the primary translator for the Morumon-Sho.  He was not a general authority, nor do I recall him being in the stake presidency or anything like that.  But he was very well versed in the gospel and gave me insights to the gospel that I didn't have.  One of those was the meaning of the word atonement.  His explanation of the word, made more sense to me when he explained it in Japanese.
At any rate, in this case, the translation was done by a member who both understood English and Japanese very well and the gospel, too.

Hi,  I can't speak for your husband.  I can only tell you of what I went through.
My wife and I didn't have the best of marriages for a long time.  She ended up have a year and a half long emotional affair with a colleague.  I didn't find out until later.  
I was emotionally devastated by this.  I could barely function for 4 months.  I very much contemplated divorce.  But our Heavenly Father asked me to take a different path.  It was by far the hardest thing that I have ever experienced.
I didn't stay married for the kids.  I stayed married to love my wife.
To me staying married for the kids is just lying to the world.  It is just compounding the sin.
It took me the better part of a year to learn to love her again.
I certainly can't tell you how he will react.  There is a chance that he will want a divorce.  But to set things right, you have to set things right with the person her on Earth you should love the most and that is your spouse.
As much as it hurt, I am grateful that she was honest with me.  Our marriage would probably continue to suck had I not found out.  Is our marriage great now?  No, but it is better today than it has been in a long time and getting better every day.
One thing she did for me that helped me get over it was that she let me read the whole thing.  She answered all of my questions.
If you want this to work for you, I suggest that you in no way shape or form put any blame on him directly or indirectly on him.
It has almost been two years.  It sucked, but I feel healed and I love her.

Have not read all of thread...long day in hospital w sick relative. I had this issue and there was a list of reasons why only coffee would do. I got my doctor to write me a short note that I took to my bishop. Problem solved. No questions asked.
My doctor, a Muslim, was most entertained but managed to keep a straight face. My meds come w a long list of side effects. Coffee is the least of my worries.

The word of wisdom was given as a guide to taking care of our bodies and thus taking care of our mind and soul as well.
Coffee is in there as it isn't good for most people.  It isn't something that should be consumed by the regular Joe.  
But guess what.  Your meds aren't good for the regular Joe as well.  
The word of wisdom does not spell out every bad substance that we shouldn't take.  However, sometimes bad substances are what we need to heel.
I am not saying to start drinking coffee, but talk it over with your doctor and see if there are other alternatives.  Obtain inspiration from on high and follow it.

Let's see.  A mom that doesn't hear from her son for a year and doesn't cry bloody murder to his mission president?  Or a son that doesn't write said mom?
Spidey sense is going off here.  Me smells something foul.  

Hi,  I can't speak for your husband.  I can only tell you of what I went through.
My wife and I didn't have the best of marriages for a long time.  She ended up have a year and a half long emotional affair with a colleague.  I didn't find out until later.  
I was emotionally devastated by this.  I could barely function for 4 months.  I very much contemplated divorce.  But our Heavenly Father asked me to take a different path.  It was by far the hardest thing that I have ever experienced.
I didn't stay married for the kids.  I stayed married to love my wife.
To me staying married for the kids is just lying to the world.  It is just compounding the sin.
It took me the better part of a year to learn to love her again.
I certainly can't tell you how he will react.  There is a chance that he will want a divorce.  But to set things right, you have to set things right with the person her on Earth you should love the most and that is your spouse.
As much as it hurt, I am grateful that she was honest with me.  Our marriage would probably continue to suck had I not found out.  Is our marriage great now?  No, but it is better today than it has been in a long time and getting better every day.
One thing she did for me that helped me get over it was that she let me read the whole thing.  She answered all of my questions.
If you want this to work for you, I suggest that you in no way shape or form put any blame on him directly or indirectly on him.
It has almost been two years.  It sucked, but I feel healed and I love her.

Hi,  I can't speak for your husband.  I can only tell you of what I went through.
My wife and I didn't have the best of marriages for a long time.  She ended up have a year and a half long emotional affair with a colleague.  I didn't find out until later.  
I was emotionally devastated by this.  I could barely function for 4 months.  I very much contemplated divorce.  But our Heavenly Father asked me to take a different path.  It was by far the hardest thing that I have ever experienced.
I didn't stay married for the kids.  I stayed married to love my wife.
To me staying married for the kids is just lying to the world.  It is just compounding the sin.
It took me the better part of a year to learn to love her again.
I certainly can't tell you how he will react.  There is a chance that he will want a divorce.  But to set things right, you have to set things right with the person her on Earth you should love the most and that is your spouse.
As much as it hurt, I am grateful that she was honest with me.  Our marriage would probably continue to suck had I not found out.  Is our marriage great now?  No, but it is better today than it has been in a long time and getting better every day.
One thing she did for me that helped me get over it was that she let me read the whole thing.  She answered all of my questions.
If you want this to work for you, I suggest that you in no way shape or form put any blame on him directly or indirectly on him.
It has almost been two years.  It sucked, but I feel healed and I love her.

My oldest daughter got her mission call.  It was a long time coming.  She always wanted to serve a mission, but she developed pretty bad depression her senior year in high school and ended up not graduating.  Basically a straight A student dropping out with one semester left to go. 
It all set in right after her Karate Sensei quit.  The new sensei didn't click with the students and my daughter quit Karate and within two months she spiraled out of control.  Meds didn't help, therapists didn't help.  She had constant suicidal thoughts, but thank goodness she never did anything to self harm.  This went on for several years and it was brutal.  I had no idea of what to do.  
She eventually found a job teaching Karate.  This was a true answer to prayers.  Slowly she got out of the funk she was in.  Over the next two and a half years she changed dramatically into a new person.  On her own started really studying to gospel.  She was instrumental in her best friend joining the church.  And she saved money the best she could because she wanted to pay for the mission herself.
So she finally got her call.  And yes, she would have been happy to serve wherever, but like her old man got called to one of the top three places she wanted to go.  I am so happy for her.  After the struggles she went through, it is hard to think of a better place to go.

My oldest daughter got her mission call.  It was a long time coming.  She always wanted to serve a mission, but she developed pretty bad depression her senior year in high school and ended up not graduating.  Basically a straight A student dropping out with one semester left to go. 
It all set in right after her Karate Sensei quit.  The new sensei didn't click with the students and my daughter quit Karate and within two months she spiraled out of control.  Meds didn't help, therapists didn't help.  She had constant suicidal thoughts, but thank goodness she never did anything to self harm.  This went on for several years and it was brutal.  I had no idea of what to do.  
She eventually found a job teaching Karate.  This was a true answer to prayers.  Slowly she got out of the funk she was in.  Over the next two and a half years she changed dramatically into a new person.  On her own started really studying to gospel.  She was instrumental in her best friend joining the church.  And she saved money the best she could because she wanted to pay for the mission herself.
So she finally got her call.  And yes, she would have been happy to serve wherever, but like her old man got called to one of the top three places she wanted to go.  I am so happy for her.  After the struggles she went through, it is hard to think of a better place to go.

My oldest daughter got her mission call.  It was a long time coming.  She always wanted to serve a mission, but she developed pretty bad depression her senior year in high school and ended up not graduating.  Basically a straight A student dropping out with one semester left to go. 
It all set in right after her Karate Sensei quit.  The new sensei didn't click with the students and my daughter quit Karate and within two months she spiraled out of control.  Meds didn't help, therapists didn't help.  She had constant suicidal thoughts, but thank goodness she never did anything to self harm.  This went on for several years and it was brutal.  I had no idea of what to do.  
She eventually found a job teaching Karate.  This was a true answer to prayers.  Slowly she got out of the funk she was in.  Over the next two and a half years she changed dramatically into a new person.  On her own started really studying to gospel.  She was instrumental in her best friend joining the church.  And she saved money the best she could because she wanted to pay for the mission herself.
So she finally got her call.  And yes, she would have been happy to serve wherever, but like her old man got called to one of the top three places she wanted to go.  I am so happy for her.  After the struggles she went through, it is hard to think of a better place to go.

My oldest daughter got her mission call.  It was a long time coming.  She always wanted to serve a mission, but she developed pretty bad depression her senior year in high school and ended up not graduating.  Basically a straight A student dropping out with one semester left to go. 
It all set in right after her Karate Sensei quit.  The new sensei didn't click with the students and my daughter quit Karate and within two months she spiraled out of control.  Meds didn't help, therapists didn't help.  She had constant suicidal thoughts, but thank goodness she never did anything to self harm.  This went on for several years and it was brutal.  I had no idea of what to do.  
She eventually found a job teaching Karate.  This was a true answer to prayers.  Slowly she got out of the funk she was in.  Over the next two and a half years she changed dramatically into a new person.  On her own started really studying to gospel.  She was instrumental in her best friend joining the church.  And she saved money the best she could because she wanted to pay for the mission herself.
So she finally got her call.  And yes, she would have been happy to serve wherever, but like her old man got called to one of the top three places she wanted to go.  I am so happy for her.  After the struggles she went through, it is hard to think of a better place to go.

The 50th state.  A wee bit of paradise.
 

The 50th state.  A wee bit of paradise.
 

My oldest daughter got her mission call.  It was a long time coming.  She always wanted to serve a mission, but she developed pretty bad depression her senior year in high school and ended up not graduating.  Basically a straight A student dropping out with one semester left to go. 
It all set in right after her Karate Sensei quit.  The new sensei didn't click with the students and my daughter quit Karate and within two months she spiraled out of control.  Meds didn't help, therapists didn't help.  She had constant suicidal thoughts, but thank goodness she never did anything to self harm.  This went on for several years and it was brutal.  I had no idea of what to do.  
She eventually found a job teaching Karate.  This was a true answer to prayers.  Slowly she got out of the funk she was in.  Over the next two and a half years she changed dramatically into a new person.  On her own started really studying to gospel.  She was instrumental in her best friend joining the church.  And she saved money the best she could because she wanted to pay for the mission herself.
So she finally got her call.  And yes, she would have been happy to serve wherever, but like her old man got called to one of the top three places she wanted to go.  I am so happy for her.  After the struggles she went through, it is hard to think of a better place to go.

My oldest daughter got her mission call.  It was a long time coming.  She always wanted to serve a mission, but she developed pretty bad depression her senior year in high school and ended up not graduating.  Basically a straight A student dropping out with one semester left to go. 
It all set in right after her Karate Sensei quit.  The new sensei didn't click with the students and my daughter quit Karate and within two months she spiraled out of control.  Meds didn't help, therapists didn't help.  She had constant suicidal thoughts, but thank goodness she never did anything to self harm.  This went on for several years and it was brutal.  I had no idea of what to do.  
She eventually found a job teaching Karate.  This was a true answer to prayers.  Slowly she got out of the funk she was in.  Over the next two and a half years she changed dramatically into a new person.  On her own started really studying to gospel.  She was instrumental in her best friend joining the church.  And she saved money the best she could because she wanted to pay for the mission herself.
So she finally got her call.  And yes, she would have been happy to serve wherever, but like her old man got called to one of the top three places she wanted to go.  I am so happy for her.  After the struggles she went through, it is hard to think of a better place to go.

My oldest daughter got her mission call.  It was a long time coming.  She always wanted to serve a mission, but she developed pretty bad depression her senior year in high school and ended up not graduating.  Basically a straight A student dropping out with one semester left to go. 
It all set in right after her Karate Sensei quit.  The new sensei didn't click with the students and my daughter quit Karate and within two months she spiraled out of control.  Meds didn't help, therapists didn't help.  She had constant suicidal thoughts, but thank goodness she never did anything to self harm.  This went on for several years and it was brutal.  I had no idea of what to do.  
She eventually found a job teaching Karate.  This was a true answer to prayers.  Slowly she got out of the funk she was in.  Over the next two and a half years she changed dramatically into a new person.  On her own started really studying to gospel.  She was instrumental in her best friend joining the church.  And she saved money the best she could because she wanted to pay for the mission herself.
So she finally got her call.  And yes, she would have been happy to serve wherever, but like her old man got called to one of the top three places she wanted to go.  I am so happy for her.  After the struggles she went through, it is hard to think of a better place to go.

My oldest daughter got her mission call.  It was a long time coming.  She always wanted to serve a mission, but she developed pretty bad depression her senior year in high school and ended up not graduating.  Basically a straight A student dropping out with one semester left to go. 
It all set in right after her Karate Sensei quit.  The new sensei didn't click with the students and my daughter quit Karate and within two months she spiraled out of control.  Meds didn't help, therapists didn't help.  She had constant suicidal thoughts, but thank goodness she never did anything to self harm.  This went on for several years and it was brutal.  I had no idea of what to do.  
She eventually found a job teaching Karate.  This was a true answer to prayers.  Slowly she got out of the funk she was in.  Over the next two and a half years she changed dramatically into a new person.  On her own started really studying to gospel.  She was instrumental in her best friend joining the church.  And she saved money the best she could because she wanted to pay for the mission herself.
So she finally got her call.  And yes, she would have been happy to serve wherever, but like her old man got called to one of the top three places she wanted to go.  I am so happy for her.  After the struggles she went through, it is hard to think of a better place to go.

My oldest daughter got her mission call.  It was a long time coming.  She always wanted to serve a mission, but she developed pretty bad depression her senior year in high school and ended up not graduating.  Basically a straight A student dropping out with one semester left to go. 
It all set in right after her Karate Sensei quit.  The new sensei didn't click with the students and my daughter quit Karate and within two months she spiraled out of control.  Meds didn't help, therapists didn't help.  She had constant suicidal thoughts, but thank goodness she never did anything to self harm.  This went on for several years and it was brutal.  I had no idea of what to do.  
She eventually found a job teaching Karate.  This was a true answer to prayers.  Slowly she got out of the funk she was in.  Over the next two and a half years she changed dramatically into a new person.  On her own started really studying to gospel.  She was instrumental in her best friend joining the church.  And she saved money the best she could because she wanted to pay for the mission herself.
So she finally got her call.  And yes, she would have been happy to serve wherever, but like her old man got called to one of the top three places she wanted to go.  I am so happy for her.  After the struggles she went through, it is hard to think of a better place to go.

Both you and your husband are having emotional responses and not rational responses.
I am a husband and from years and years of trying to fight emotional responses from a wife, I can testify that you do not have a chance of fighting the emotion with logic.
I can give you plenty of logical reasons for still attending church.  They won't work on him.
Emotion can be dealt with, but there is much more of a challenge.  
My suggestion is that you love your husband.  Don't try and reason with him.  Just let him know that you need to attend church and that your kids need to be there.  Let him know that Heavenly Father wants you and the kids at church and that you truly feel that is the right thing to do.  You can even appeal that you would feel even safer if he were there, but you are going regardless.