Zeniff

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  1. Like
    Zeniff got a reaction from seashmore in Story from good to bad. We both had affairs.   
    Joshpal, Interesting advice but yet very true.  One other interesting item in our therapy is that our therapist has never had a situation were we both were the addicted and the betrayed.  It is a strange intertwined mess that the therapist is trying to untangle.  Still good that my wife and I are positive about working things out, this helps a lot.  The recovery and healing are going to take longer than I expected though.  I am seeing that patience and daily spiritual effort is key.
  2. Like
    Zeniff got a reaction from Midwest LDS in Story from good to bad. We both had affairs.   
    Joshpal, Interesting advice but yet very true.  One other interesting item in our therapy is that our therapist has never had a situation were we both were the addicted and the betrayed.  It is a strange intertwined mess that the therapist is trying to untangle.  Still good that my wife and I are positive about working things out, this helps a lot.  The recovery and healing are going to take longer than I expected though.  I am seeing that patience and daily spiritual effort is key.
  3. Like
    Zeniff got a reaction from Bad Karma in Story from good to bad. We both had affairs.   
    Joshpal, Interesting advice but yet very true.  One other interesting item in our therapy is that our therapist has never had a situation were we both were the addicted and the betrayed.  It is a strange intertwined mess that the therapist is trying to untangle.  Still good that my wife and I are positive about working things out, this helps a lot.  The recovery and healing are going to take longer than I expected though.  I am seeing that patience and daily spiritual effort is key.
  4. Like
    Zeniff got a reaction from Jane_Doe in Story from good to bad. We both had affairs.   
    Joshpal, Interesting advice but yet very true.  One other interesting item in our therapy is that our therapist has never had a situation were we both were the addicted and the betrayed.  It is a strange intertwined mess that the therapist is trying to untangle.  Still good that my wife and I are positive about working things out, this helps a lot.  The recovery and healing are going to take longer than I expected though.  I am seeing that patience and daily spiritual effort is key.
  5. Like
    Zeniff got a reaction from Overwatch in Story from good to bad. We both had affairs.   
    Well here is the update to this story.  My wife and i both had our disciplinary councils.  I was disfellowshipped which I thought I had a probable chance to be ex'd.  Nevertheless, the lord showed mercy and now i am in the healing process.  I am meeting 1x per month with the Bishop & Stake President and going to marriage counseling every week.  The pain of learning of the affair is still there after 3 months but I am starting to come off of the emotional roller coaster and dealing with PTSD.  They say the pain is sometimes worse than losing a loved one and I agree (It's devastating and that cannot be under stated).
    As for my wife, she was excommunicated.  I am very sad for her and us.  This should never had progressed this far but yet here we are.  Not sure what to expect with the next year for her and me but she will need to be re-baptized if she desires to come back.  I think she does.  I also think her judgement was worse because I decided to repent and she did not at first. 
    I am very worried about her since I still care and love her.  Now we need to find forgiveness for each other and start to rebuild from the ashes.  I hoping our journey will make us better people and better members of the church.  Time will tell.
  6. Like
    Zeniff got a reaction from Vort in Story from good to bad. We both had affairs.   
    Well here is the update to this story.  My wife and i both had our disciplinary councils.  I was disfellowshipped which I thought I had a probable chance to be ex'd.  Nevertheless, the lord showed mercy and now i am in the healing process.  I am meeting 1x per month with the Bishop & Stake President and going to marriage counseling every week.  The pain of learning of the affair is still there after 3 months but I am starting to come off of the emotional roller coaster and dealing with PTSD.  They say the pain is sometimes worse than losing a loved one and I agree (It's devastating and that cannot be under stated).
    As for my wife, she was excommunicated.  I am very sad for her and us.  This should never had progressed this far but yet here we are.  Not sure what to expect with the next year for her and me but she will need to be re-baptized if she desires to come back.  I think she does.  I also think her judgement was worse because I decided to repent and she did not at first. 
    I am very worried about her since I still care and love her.  Now we need to find forgiveness for each other and start to rebuild from the ashes.  I hoping our journey will make us better people and better members of the church.  Time will tell.
  7. Like
    Zeniff got a reaction from Sunday21 in Story from good to bad. We both had affairs.   
    Well here is the update to this story.  My wife and i both had our disciplinary councils.  I was disfellowshipped which I thought I had a probable chance to be ex'd.  Nevertheless, the lord showed mercy and now i am in the healing process.  I am meeting 1x per month with the Bishop & Stake President and going to marriage counseling every week.  The pain of learning of the affair is still there after 3 months but I am starting to come off of the emotional roller coaster and dealing with PTSD.  They say the pain is sometimes worse than losing a loved one and I agree (It's devastating and that cannot be under stated).
    As for my wife, she was excommunicated.  I am very sad for her and us.  This should never had progressed this far but yet here we are.  Not sure what to expect with the next year for her and me but she will need to be re-baptized if she desires to come back.  I think she does.  I also think her judgement was worse because I decided to repent and she did not at first. 
    I am very worried about her since I still care and love her.  Now we need to find forgiveness for each other and start to rebuild from the ashes.  I hoping our journey will make us better people and better members of the church.  Time will tell.
  8. Like
    Zeniff got a reaction from JohnsonJones in Story from good to bad. We both had affairs.   
    Well here is the update to this story.  My wife and i both had our disciplinary councils.  I was disfellowshipped which I thought I had a probable chance to be ex'd.  Nevertheless, the lord showed mercy and now i am in the healing process.  I am meeting 1x per month with the Bishop & Stake President and going to marriage counseling every week.  The pain of learning of the affair is still there after 3 months but I am starting to come off of the emotional roller coaster and dealing with PTSD.  They say the pain is sometimes worse than losing a loved one and I agree (It's devastating and that cannot be under stated).
    As for my wife, she was excommunicated.  I am very sad for her and us.  This should never had progressed this far but yet here we are.  Not sure what to expect with the next year for her and me but she will need to be re-baptized if she desires to come back.  I think she does.  I also think her judgement was worse because I decided to repent and she did not at first. 
    I am very worried about her since I still care and love her.  Now we need to find forgiveness for each other and start to rebuild from the ashes.  I hoping our journey will make us better people and better members of the church.  Time will tell.
  9. Like
    Zeniff got a reaction from seashmore in Story from good to bad. We both had affairs.   
    Thanks for all the support and suggestions so far as it has been overwhelmingly positive for me.  I thought I was going to be a punching bag which I deserve but I know there are good people that truly want to help.  
  10. Like
    Zeniff reacted to Vort in Story from good to bad. We both had affairs.   
    Friend, I'm in @Bad Karma's position. I've got nothing. I'm speechless.
    In an attempt to be at least somewhat helpful, let me ask you: Do you understand, not just what you did wrong, but why it was wrong? An old Hebrew proverb says, "As he thinketh in his heart, so is he." The Lord taught that even to look on a woman in lust is to commit adultery with her in your heart -- which is always the precursor to committing adultery with her in her bed.
    What you did wrong can be boiled down to one essential thing: You treated your marriage like garbage. Why is this wrong? Because marriage is (or should be held) sacred. And you never, never, never treat sacred things like garbage. You hold them sacred.
    From your description, it sounds like your wife had already committed adultery when you spoke with her, or at the very least was planning to, and encouraged you to break your covenant with God in the twisted idea that this would somehow justify her. This is so very far beyond the pale that it can only be taken as a sign that your heart (and hers) were already far, far away from those holy covenants you had made.
    Misery inevitably follows sin. Inevitably. That means "every single time, without fail". You can have that misery taken from you, and you may even have your marriage healed and restored to the sacred thing it once was (or should have been, and should be now). For that to happen, you will need to have a mighty change in heart. It starts by renewing your covenants (however that must happen, even through excommunication if necessary) and then keeping them scrupulously. If your wife is on board for this process, wonderful. Your marriage may yet survive and become a thing of unfathomable beauty. But even if she doesn't choose that path, you must. Do the right thing, brother.
    (For someone with nothing to say, I certainly do go on.)
  11. Thanks
    Zeniff got a reaction from Sunday21 in Story from good to bad. We both had affairs.   
    Thanks for all the support and suggestions so far as it has been overwhelmingly positive for me.  I thought I was going to be a punching bag which I deserve but I know there are good people that truly want to help.  
  12. Like
    Zeniff got a reaction from Jane_Doe in Story from good to bad. We both had affairs.   
    Thanks for all the support and suggestions so far as it has been overwhelmingly positive for me.  I thought I was going to be a punching bag which I deserve but I know there are good people that truly want to help.