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Everything posted by Lee

  1. Yes she is lucky to have me as a husband. We could have a child we aren't immature or selfish. We have been caring for our 8 year old nephew for a few months whilst his mom is in hospital, we both know how to put someone else first.
  2. Maybe that is my divorce decree, I don't know will have to see what happens in the future. Although, it wasn't a marriage of convenience there were probably lots of women it would have been more convenient to marry. Also, I am 100% dedicated to my wife for now unless something changes.
  3. Why is it disturbing? Divorce can be necessary for many reasons, if we grow to resent each other and we're unhappy then we should divorce. No point being unhappy when you could find happiness again. I could meet someone I am more in love with and want to marry, in that case divorce would be necessary for me to marry my new love. Many reasons for divorce besides adultery or abuse. Obviously, I have no desire to ever divorce my wife, she is the perfect woman. However, if things change then I won't be bound to marriage because I made vows to her years ago. Also, yes I am LDS and don't question my religion again.
  4. Erm pretty sure that you haven't a clue about anything. I believe you should be married to have children, I don't believe you should have children just because you're married. Sorry I don't speak whatever that is. ooooo did I touch a nerve?? Well who knows and who cares? All I know is my wife and I didn't need to reproduce to show everyone we had a good marriage and we were good Mormons.
  5. Tell me why then ... ? If a married couple don't want kids or are unable to have children then should they not be married? Maybe you got married to have kids but that's your choice. I didn't marry my wife to have kids, I married her because I love her and even if she was unable to have kids I would still have married her and loved her. I can only assume you solely married your husband / wife to have kids.
  6. Thanks bro I don't get why it is such a debacle not to want kids straight away.
  7. But I wouldn't and if I "abandoned" (which even if we divorced I wouldn't do) my wife when we had no children how is that as bad as abandoning a child? My wife could care for herself and move on to find another man. My child would never get over the rejection of a parent. You're just using hyperbole I don't believe for one second you actually think abandoning a child is the same as divorcing your wife. Also, what is with marriage and having children being so intertwined?
  8. Being married and having children are 2 different things. I care for my wife but that is very different to having a child, if necessary marriage is reversible. You cant reverse having a child to my knowledge. I view children as a blessing but it is a huge responsibility, when we first got married we couldn't of handled a baby it would have been a disaster.
  9. My wife and I had the same problem it was hard to see the point of waiting a couple of months because we thought nothing will change, we thought we love each other now and we are committed to each other now so why bother waiting. We decided that we should pray about the situation, I realised that I have to show not only my love for my fiancee by being intimate with her but I must show my love for god by keeping his commandments as thanks for him sending me my fiancee. I also had a strong feeling that I should honour my fiancee's covenants and purity to show my love for her. I would add that after marriage your husband should still honour your purity and such. Wouldn't worry about it though you will be fine if you pray and keep the commandments. Also, obviously it is not wrong to want to be sexual with your fiance I would be concerned if you didn't. Also, don't rush marriage for the sake of being able to be intimate, not worth it at all.
  10. We decided we wanted to just live together for a few years with no children so we could build a strong bond and learn skills that we need to have kids. Also, my wife had a lot of goals and ambitions she would find too hard to achieve with a child. We weren't ready when we started having sex and I don't think that's a bad thing.
  11. Could you tell me some examples of where that council is given please
  12. Is it not the most worrying thing being a parent? I have a feeling I would just constantly be worried for my child's safety and happiness.
  13. Haha no I think I just always thought I would have a feeling that it is the right thing to do and then I would be ready to have a child. Just some kind of sign or feeling because I don't want to enter in to something so serious without confirmation. It is similar to when I wanted a confirmation it was right to marry my wife.
  14. I am a paralegal and my wife is completing her Ph.D in Clinical Psychology in the next 3 months. We can afford a baby and we are educated.
  15. Hi, my wife and I have been married for 5 years. We always thought that we would just know when the time is right to have our first chid, we thought we may get some kind of sign or we would both just have a feeling that it is right. My wife thinks that she wants to have a baby but we have prayed about it and neither of us have received a definitive answer that it is the right time to try and have a baby. Practically, speaking we are more than ready to have a child but I know it is a huge responsibility so I want confirmation from the Holy Spirit that it is a good thing. My wife she is more of the opinion that it can't be against god's will for us to have a baby so we should just have one. Which opinion do you think is right ? How did you know when was a good time to have your first child ?
  16. I would say it is fine, I lived with a woman when I was in college, we were just good friends who decided to live together. We got on fine, I had a girlfriend so there was never any temptation at all. There is nothing wrong with temptation In my opinion Christ was tempted didn't mean he was doing anything wrong. You will be fine living with your ex husband and if you are not sinning than you will still receive blessings.
  17. I did read your whole post and thanked you for it so chill bro. It is like you said really shocking to me to hit a child should be illegal.
  18. @Carborendum Thanks for the advice but we would never hit a child. Especially, one who isn't ours but we wouldn't even hit our future children.
  19. Lee


    It's a nice place I go back a lot
  20. He knows everything that she is recovering from treatment and unable to care for him. His mom isn't dead. We care for him but we are childless and the only other family he has are my parents but they can't really get involved because they're old. So unless we get him a councillor we don't know who this wise person might be.
  21. I have been "called" to do things in the church all the time but if I don't want to do it I just say no thank you. I am a grown man no one tells me what to do. My wife is less inclined to say no, when she says yes and then complains about it after a few weeks I tell her she should have said no.
  22. Lee


    Hello I am a new member of the forum but I have viewed Mormon Hub for quite a long time. I was baptized when I was 9 now I am 25 originally from West Jordan Utah but now live in Salt Lake City Utah with my wife who is from Hawaii. We have our nephew living with us and we enjoy having fun and growing as a family. Much Love, Ammon Lee
  23. Hi, I am technically not an only child and I don't have any children with my wife yet because we are still young. However, I only have one older brother who was 11 years older than me so from the age of 7 I basically grew up as an only child. I had a great childhood though, I got to be very close with my parents and I always had my cousins to play with. My parents let me have my friends come over more than people I know who had a lot of siblings, so I was never lonely at home. Besides learning how to occupy yourself is an important skill. The biggest benefit I had from growing up with just my parents for 11 years was that they gave me most of their attention, where as my wife grew up with 6 siblings and she told me she had a lot problems with trying to compete for her parents attention. The hardest thing is probably now that my brother passed away 8 years ago is that I have to care for my parents without any support, like I can't alternate weekends with a sibling I have to see them all time (I love them but I have a wife and a busy life so not always ideal). I always felt accepted even though some people seemed bemused that I had only one sibling who was 11 years older than me. I am sure my parents did too (they wouldn't have told me if they didn't). Side note: my wife and I have decided to have maximum 3 kids as she didn't enjoy growing up in a big family and I loved growing up in a small one.
  24. My wife and I have been caring for our 8 year old nephew, whilst his mom is undergoing treatment for breast cancer. My brother is our nephew's father but he passed away 8 years ago, although we attend the same church as my sister in law and nephew so we are quite close. He has been excluded for hurting his classmates and before that we had to go to a meeting because he spat at his teacher and was walking out of class and running around the school. He also misbehaves at our house. We tried speaking with him but we didn't want to be too harsh because we understand he is having a hard time. Surprisingly, he is well behaved at church and enjoys going. We are young (25) and we don't have kids of our own so we are struggling to care for him. We have never had problems with raising children before, have you ever asked for parenting advice from someone at church? If so how? We are quite private people so this is unnatural for us. Also, do you think we should tell his mom?