Lee

Yeah I love him, him, my wife and my parents are my only family. I was very close with my brother so I naturally love his son a lot.

I am not convinced you have kids. If you do then I feel bad for them

Well it isn't really me who has to handle it, it is my 8 year old nephew. He doesn't have the maturity to handle his emotions.

We tried a few counsellors, my wife knows a few from her Ph.D but none were truly effective. I believe with my wife's educational background and what she has told me that we have a good idea of what he is going through. Honestly, we do not let him rule the house at all, we have punished him many times but it hasn't been effective.

It is especially for him. Even before he was born he lost his father, then his mom got sick so he lived with my parents for a while, now his mom is sick again and my parents are too old to care for him now, so he has had to live with my wife and me. He is constantly worried about his mom not getting better, he hasn't been able to see her for a long time, he is worried that when my wife has a baby he won't be able to live with us anymore, we have told him he can but he is still worried. It is a lot of things for a child to deal with all at once.

He is a great kid, he has a very kind heart and he is very loving. He is just having a hard time right now.

And how do you propose we make him sit for 3 hours. He will not do that.

Thank you bro.

He isn't in control, we care for him the best we can. We can't just force him to do things, we have to allow him a voice or we are teaching him that he has no say in anything.

I don't think that will work, my wife has tried similar things to get him to eat the food she cooks for him but he is so stubborn he will starve himself.

I don't care about what other people think I care about what he thinks. I don't want to fight with him, he has to feel like he is in control of things, so much has happened to him that isn't in his control. I can't force him to do things he doesn't want to do, I am not his dad as he always reminds me. I have very limited powers to enforce anything onto him.

I don't know, we took him to a counsellor before but it is very expensive and he hated going, even the counsellor told us he just sat in silence so we stopped taking him. I think he needs some time to come to terms with all the changes in his life and then he will follow instructions better.

Don't call him that, he has probably been through more bad things in his 8 years than you have in your entire life.

So I physically drag a scared and angry 8 year old and what happens? He will just get more angry and more scared, I am sure I will win the parent of the year award for that.

Because if he refuses to get out of bed or get in the car, what am I supposed to do?

I am the only family he has so we are stuck with each other.

I can't just be his dad, he knows I am his uncle and I am barely old enough to be his dad, I was 17 when he was born. I can't parent an 8 year old. How do you expect me to make him go to church? Drag him in to the car?

He is a bit too young to put to work he is only 8 years old. We tried convincing him that he can go to primary only but he wasn't game. I agree with you it isn't right to force him to go.

We have let him stay off school a few times because it was easier than fighting with him. Although, he had to go with my wife for the day and he came to the realization that school is more fun than sitting in an office. We do try but if he doesn't want to listen he will just get up and go to his room. Truly, I think we are fed up of fighting a losing battle with him.

My nephew who my wife and I are caring for has decided he doesn't want to go to church anymore. This has been the case for 3 weeks and we have battled with him, tried to convince him he should go, we have tried bribing him with gifts if he comes with us but we haven't had any luck. My wife and I have been alternating weeks of one of us attending and the other staying home with our nephew. However, we both miss going to church together, we want to convince our nephew to come with us. Our nephew is going through an emotional time right now and he isn't mature enough to handle his emotions, he thinks because his mom isn't getting any better and he has been praying about it that God isn't helping him, he is very angry at God. Have your children ever not wanted to go to church? How did you convince them to go ?

I can imagine that being the case. I think we will be able to manage really well, my work lets me work from home sometimes and we have managed to care for our nephew well.

Well she made it look easy to me, we know she has been blessed with intellect and other talents. Now is her time to utilise them.

I am very proud of her, I barely made it through law school and she has breezed through her Ph.D.

She has completed her Ph.D in Clinical Psychology and as been offered a position as a lecturer and researcher at 2 universities. I know she largely wants to research mental health and alzheimers.

I didn't say I was a female. I have no desire to stop working to care for the baby. I lived with my mother and father, they are still married and alive. Why would anyone have a child if they weren't going to indulge them. I will give my child anything they ask for unless it is dangerous. My wife doesn't think that, she has a passion and desire for her field, it would be wrong of me to ask her to give that up, when it is possible that she will be a great mother and still work. I will never force my wife to do anything, I support her goals and she knows that. My wife knows I can provide for her I have been doing it for 5 years, now my wife has finished her education she is pursuing her career in academia and research. That is her goal and we can raise our child together except for 9 hours a day 5 days a week. I don't think it is a big deal.