Hello

Update. We received the letter that the cancellation was granted prior to the sealing! Yay. 

Update. We received the letter that the cancellation was granted prior to the sealing! Yay. 

Update. We received the letter that the cancellation was granted prior to the sealing! Yay. 

Just be a friend, reaching out to whatever level / method they are comfortable with.  If they aren't interested in Gospel talk, then respect that.  Just be available for a text / call / whatever it is that they like at whatever frequency.  Don't force anything, and just act like your natural self.  Pretending only backfires.  

I know a lot of people say things like “serve them”, “invite them over for dinner or activities”, “ask them to help you in Scenarios where they may be helpful”
But my approach has always been to just approach them with honesty. 
 
I was just assigned 2 non-active families a couple weeks ago. I went over to one of them on Sunday, knocked on the door and said “Hey, John? I’m fether (realized I accidentally put my real name lol), I’m from the ward. The Elder’s Quorum President asked me to drop by and make sure everything is going well with you guys. I don’t know your relationship with the church, but we just want to be in a position where we can be of service should anything happen with you guys.”
If you wanted to give yourself a little social shield, you could even say “With COVID and all, I haven’t been to church much lately myself, do you guys attend regularly? I don’t recognize you.”
I’ve always found just being as honest as you can about the situation really helps everyone feel comfortable. They know why you are there, trying to pretend anything but that may make the situation awkward.

It's also important to note that even without a sealing cancellation, if a person does not wish to be to another person, God's not going to force them together in the hereafter.  Every person has their agency.  (Speaking from a position of logic).  

The Church Handbook (38.4.1.4) tells us:
A woman who has previously been sealed must receive a cancellation of that sealing from the First Presidency before she may be sealed to another man in her lifetime.
Church authorities discourage a woman from breaking her sealing to a spouse unless she is being sealed to another. But as far as I know, the two events (breaking a previous sealing to a spouse and being sealed to another spouse) are independent events. The old sealing is broken some (perhaps very short) time before the new sealing is put in place. If the woman's sealing to her ex-husband is broken and then she ends up not getting sealed to her new husband, then as far as I understand, she remains in an unsealed state. Once the sealing is broken, it no longer exists, and does not suddenly revert back to existence if the new sealing doesn't happen.
FWIW, that is my understanding of things.

I totally agree no one should do it because it’s the next step! I guess as a convert everything is new and exciting to me. And would have gotten endowed the next day if I could have! I want to wrap myself in all things gospel related. And I can’t wait to get my garments! I love seeing my husband in his and knowing what they stand  for. 

I like examples--
Mortal "Bob" and "Sally" get married.  They are of course flawed sinful humans, and unfortunately divorce happens.  
But they both love Christ.   They die and in the eternities are eventually are perfected in Him-- Sally is no longer a nagger, Bob actually does what he says he's going to do, Sally now knows how to communicate how she's feeling, Bob doesn't feel the need to hide, etc.  In fact, Bob is so perfect, in fact he treats literally every person in his life just as perfectly as Christ would.  Sally is likewise just that perfect.
So, does a perfected Christ-like Bob and Sally want to be together?  We don't know!   Even Sally today wouldn't know because she's not remotely her perfected self and hasn't remotely met perfect Bob.    
By having the sealing done, perfected Bob and perfect Sally will have options: they can choose to be separate, or they can choose to be together again.  It's their choice.  God never forces any person in any way.  

I would guess that the policy is in place to deal with a much different problem.  
Molly Mary Martin has done her genealogy work and found ancestors Amelia and Harold that were married in 1683. She can find records that Amelia married Carl in 1695 and Harold married Elizabeth in 1692, but there's no record of a divorce between Amelia and Harold. What ordinances should be performed?
Rather than tasking people with onerous documentation requirements in order to reach ordinances, the decision is to go ahead and seal them all to anyone we have record of them being married to, and let it all sort out after we're all dead.  Probably a better policy than consulting with the dead the Ouija boards to find out what their wishes are.
Anyway, the policy is one of convenience for people doing the temple work, and comes with the understanding that the part of the sealing that binds people together is only valid so long as both parties consent to it. Performing a sealing between a divorced couple doesn't force them to be together, but rather gives them the choice. They are still free to choose "HAIL NO" 
 

Divorce happens because of human sin.  Since exaltation will be a nice place where that stuff isn't around, we can't really tell what an exalted divorcee wants and chooses.  So seal 'em all, and let the eternities sort 'em out.

The standard policy is (if I remember correctly), after all parties are dead, you seal each person to all of their spouses. So women are sealed to multiple men and men are sealed to multiple women and it's all one big ugly mess.

Before I even read any of the replies my first thought was "There could be a distinct difference in answers and opinions based on whether the comments from a male or female.....".
 
As a female I absolutely knew how you felt about not wanting him to wear the same temple garments that he wore when he married his first wife.  Just as you stated - it's almost like a bride wearing the same gown to her second wedding.  But on the other hand, my own husband would have answered as the guys here did!  LOL.  He probably wouldn't have emotion tied to the garments and wonder why on earth I wouldn't want him to use them for 'our' wedding.  (And yes... he would have bought a different set or rented a different set if and when he knew it would bother me... just as your husband will do).  I think it's kind of a female thing to tie emotions to the clothing.  Not all females of course.  And not all males.  But generally speaking the guys are like, "Why wouldn't I just just wear the same ones?"  and the females are all... "Oh please don't wear the same ones you wore when you married her!"
 

 
 

I agree forgiveness is a huge part. But in my opinion forgiveness is useless if neither of you are communicating. you have to be talking through the situations that could cause the need for forgiveness. Forgiveness is useless if there is no trust and trust is build on communicating. 

I suppose to does seem strange to someone who has grown up in the church and has only been sealed once. I think it takes on a new meaning because the ceremonial clothing is what he actually wore during his sealing to his first wife. I wouldn’t wear my first wedding dress to this sealing. And again I am a convert so I look at things differently I suppose. I agree renting sounds reasonable as I don’t think he should get rid of them and he can certainly wear them again if he chooses. I jsut prefer not on our sealing day. 

I agree forgiveness is a huge part. But in my opinion forgiveness is useless if neither of you are communicating. you have to be talking through the situations that could cause the need for forgiveness. Forgiveness is useless if there is no trust and trust is build on communicating. 

Thank you @Anddenex! 

This is what is most important for you and your husband. In that light, it doesn't matter what I think or anyone else thinks. The fact that you are about to be sealed to a man who is willing to make you comfortable is a great start and it shows his love for you! That is most important no matter how silly something maybe. It is something that can be changed very easily. Congrats to you both by the way.

@AnddenexI see your point although going on a date and pledging eternity to someone are totally different to me. I guess I just take the same way as an engagement ring or a wedding dress. You wouldn’t duplicate those. But again I think I’m reading into it but I know myself enough to know it would bother me as silly as it is. 

Random guy on the internet comment. Yes, you are reading to much into wearing the same garments; however, I think it is wonderful that your husband agrees and is willing to make you feel more comfortable on an important day for you two.
This might be a stretch, as I understand the religious implication, but I don't see much difference than a guy who breaks up with a girl and then takes another girl out wearing the same attire he broke up with the previous girl.
But again, I think it is wonderful the choice your husband is making to purchase new garments. Good for him and you.

@anatess2 we will just have to agree to disagree. Thank you for your thoughts

Sorry this post got off track. My marriage is happy and healthy, I was just wanting to ask about Temple clothing. Thank you all that answered my questions. My husband is so sweet and I know he’d do anything for me so I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t being unfair to him. I appreciate all your thoughts! 

I don't think there is A key to a successful marriage.  There are a number of things that should be there.  Forgiveness and communication are both necessary.  If you are hurt/offended/etc by your spouse, you can forgive, but if you don't communicate about it, he/she will likely do it again and again.  He/she will miss an opportunity of growth, and your repeated forgiveness might change to resentment.  If you communicate how you were hurt/offended/etc but you don't forgive, then it'll keep coming up over and over in arguments or disagreements.

I agree forgiveness is a huge part. But in my opinion forgiveness is useless if neither of you are communicating. you have to be talking through the situations that could cause the need for forgiveness. Forgiveness is useless if there is no trust and trust is build on communicating. 

Actually, the key to a successful marriage is forgiveness, especially forgiving without needing an "I'm sorry".
But yeah, communicating is important too.