Auckland NZ

Thankyou, means a lot 🙂

I see this was posted in 2009 so I assume that this has resolved itself over time and I hope you've found happiness and peace. For what it's worth here's my situation. My wife (now separated) and I are both returned missionaries and had a temple sealing and were married for 21 years. I was totally faithful during this time, however I discovered just over a year ago that someone from my wife's past re-entered her life supposedly innocently at first through social media but events spiralled and ultimately resulted in the break-up of our marriage. The other guy also a returned missionary from Utah served his mission here in New Zealand (where they met) which was well before my wife and I first knew each other. This in itself raises questions about what he was doing on his mission but I'm not passing any judgement on that, simply making an observation. The lesson thus far is if you are married then be very very careful about corresponding with people from your past. The tragedy is that his actions resulted in the breakup of our marriage and family (which he can never make restitution for) and just as bad he divorced his wife in Utah over this with whom they have 5 children together. Now here's the problem. My wife and I are now legally separated but have to wait for two years until divorce is finalised before I can start dating because that is the law in New Zealand. On the other hand because divorce in the United States can happen so quickly the guy whose actions have broken up my family and discarded his own responsibilities as a husband and father by abandoning his own sealing covenants is now free to date and he has continued his liaison and correspondence with my wife (although she is not yet legally divorced) and she has travelled to the States to see him and I suspect he has also been here to New Zealand to see her. This is now in the hands of both their respective Stake Presidents who are in communication with each other. I have discussed the issue with Church authorities, the issue being that apparently I am not meant to date yet he can and is free to do so, and although they acknowledge the discrepancy of the situation they also don't appear to know how to redress the difference in divorce law between 2 countries, 2 years in New Zealand and 2 months in Utah. It seems to be in the too hard basket. Or in the case of the guy in Utah, too easy for him.