Overwatch

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Posts posted by Overwatch

  1. 21 hours ago, NeuroTypical said:

    That number continues to shrink, and also underfunding in the nation's remaining pension plans is a concerning thing.

    2018 told us 22% of workers participate in a pension plan, but some of those (like me) are grandfathered in with companies that no longer offer them.  I can't find a source on how many companies with employees in the US still offer pensions.

     

    It is true, the number of jobs that offer them are shrinking. It's important that when you do find one, you gather all the resources you need to land the position. However what you say IS true and you have to keep your eyes and ears open for them.

  2. Who cares if they wear pants. If their local leader tells them it's okay then whatever. I don't remember the last time being bothered by a sister wearing pants. I honestly don't even remember seeing someone wearing pants... like ever. Being of Jewish descent I sometimes like to grow out my locks and beard. I think it is interesting how temple workers and missionaries can't wear beards or longer hair (as males). Especially since there are a ton of paintings with the Lord WEARING A BEARD. They asked us not to, so I am going to just comply. If I ever get asked to serve in the Temple I will make sure I am within the standards. I could make a stink out of and ask them to ask the Lord to change His mind BUT I am just not that interested. It's not a big deal to ME.

  3. I would recommend going big and getting a job with a company that offers a pension plan. That's if you don't want to run your own successful business. If a 401k is all you got then do your best to save more on the side. You can do Roth IRAs or some other form of investing. Put your money to work for you. Even with a pension you can look for ways to grow your money that is low risk.

  4. Oh my goodness. I can only imagine the hardship she will go through if she decides to take on a child on her own. If postpartum depression kicks in that baby is done for. I find it very hard to believe that she can't successfully be courted, YET wants to take on the responsibility of motherhood.  Maybe take one step at a time. I understand that it can be frustrating being alone but I am sure she can find a mate if she changes up whatever she is doing now. 

     

  5. While I believe there are devils I also believe a lot of people are just choosing to be wicked. To blame (not saying this is you)  the majority of bad choices on the sons of perdition is almost insulting. We are choosing to be wicked just as on the flip side when people are good we call them righteous. We don't mention the holy angels that protect them and influence them. I think people are just giving up and sin is easier than being righteous it seems. In this case marriage is starting to seem undesirable among the wicked, as wicked people also seem to let each other down.

  6. 3 hours ago, herewego said:

    I understand where you are coming from. I thought about these things in the beginning a lot. I confronted him about pornography and he told me he never had a problem with pornography. He later explained more, but porn was not a part of his past.

    I felt like I must not be trying hard enough, that maybe I wasn't saying the right things or wearing the right things. I tried very careful not to turn into the nagging wife. So hard that if our room was dirty I stopped asking for help and cleaned it myself. If there were dishes I just did them. He would come home from work and just sit on his computer all night while I cleaned around him. I thought that he wasn't attracted to me because I wasn't attractive enough. I was never a makeup or heels kind of girl, I've just never put much stock into material possessions or beauty. Which is something he had previously said he loved about me. I started waking up early to curl my hair and wear makeup, bought several pairs of heels and even lingerie and just spent weeks chasing his affection as he grew more and more distant.

    All it did was diminish all of my self worth. I would cry at the end of the night as I took off my makeup, looking into the mirror at a reflection I didn't recognize. I thought I must be too emotional, too needy. So I bit my tongue every time I wanted to ask for a kiss or a hug. Every time I felt I couldn't contain my tears I would sit in the bathroom with the fan on and cry. I tried my hardest to put on a smile, but I became so so lonely. It was by far the worst months of my life. Every day I tried to "choose love", but when it was met with such lack of interest, it was hard to take. At this point I was so desperate for affection or interest.

    So, we had a talk. We had multiple talks throughout the span of a couple nights. We talked about divorce. There were tears from both of us as we wondered what had happened, where we had gone wrong. I mostly let him talk. He told me he did love me but he couldn't help but wonder about life as a single and what would have happened if he had dated more people. I could relate to that, he was my first boyfriend. I held him while he cried about the fact he married me, without saying a word. In all the marriage, that was the hardest moment. 

    He explained a cross-dressing fetish he had that made it impossible to get turned on without the idea of it. My body would just never get him there. It stung my self esteem to hear but I accepted it, told him that fetishes aren't our choice and that it was okay. That I loved him and was happy to try it if it would help him. 

    Essentially after listening to him express all of those thoughts I told him that regardless, we got married. It was clear we were naive. It was clear we should have dated longer, and maybe even have broken up. But we made a commitment to Heavenly Father and to each other. We do love each other. But we are young. We aren't perfect. I know it seems like I'm not painting a full picture but I'm just trying to put my thoughts down. I am in no way perfect, but we both needed to be willing to try. I gave him his out, I said that if he wanted to divorce then we would. But if he wanted to stay then he had to be in this marriage. No more talk of divorce. No more day dreaming about the "what if's". We would have to commit. 

    Anyways, long story short: we are working on it. After that night, things have been different. He has been much more involved. We still have fights and hard days but there are happy days too, which felt impossible months ago. There are days where we laugh and smile and eat pizza and ice cream late at night. It might seem simple but I never thought we'd get to the day where he would look happy to see me, or where he would cuddle with me in bed. Our life is far from perfect but it is a marriage working towards perfection. And that's good enough for me.

    Thanks to everyone for listening to someone who desperately needed to vent and get some validation. 

    I'll probably delete this post in a few weeks or so. Put this whole thing behind us, fresh start.

    Something weird is happening to our men. I imagine you are from the US? I am interested to see what this conference will bring.

  7. 3 hours ago, Chilean said:

    I think it depends what kind of exercise you're going to perform.  At the end it's your choice to do whatever you want, and whatever feels right in your heart.

    I sometimes wear the garment when exercising, some other times I only wear the bottom part. But as soon as I'm done taking a shower I put them back on. I don't go walking around to run errands without garments, some members like doing that after working out...

    ^This. I agree with your method.

  8. 3 hours ago, The Folk Prophet said:

    Do you understand or believe that one could have "approval" from church leaders and still have disapproval from God?

    This statement by itself is misleading and incomplete.

    You most certainly CAN break your covenants by removing them during exercise if the motivation for doing so is unrighteous.

    The church has not defined a specific set of workout activities that you can or cannot take them off. My Bishop told me I could take them off during sports. I asked him if I could keep them on and he said "of course". You accusing me of being misleading is inappropriate and you owe me an apology. 

  9. 3 hours ago, Lost Boy said:

    I doubt most men who watch porn are lusting after the women.  To me lust infers a desire to be with that person.  I don't think that is what generally happens with porn.  I think wives think their husbands want to be with the porn star.  I don't think that is the case.  I don't think the men typically have any desire to be with anyone other than their wife.  At least not at first.  It certainly can lead to other desires if the love in the marriage completely vanishes.  

    I understand that you are talking about emotional connection. I am referring to lusting after a woman's body; whether you want to be emotionally connected to her has nothing to do with you looking at her flesh and masturbating. It is still lusting.

  10. @ByAThread

    Hello

    Such a heavy story.

    I am glad you are done with porn. I totally get where you are coming from (I think). Finding healthy ways to express your disappointment, loneliness, anger and rejection is the key here. So easy just to drink, porn binge, smoke, get lost in a book, eat, etc. When you are in crisis (no matter how brief or the size of crisis) Right now it is time for you to dig deep and push yourself to continue the healing process. Get back in shape, read more scriptures and spend more time with the kids. Right now your wife is hurt and she probably has her own problems she is dealing with but refuses to change because PORN (as if that justifies being horrible in return. It doesn't, at all) Take away her ammo and let her issues be revealed for what they are. STOP Sharing with people outside of a professional setting (you have us now too) honestly most members don't want to hear about your porn/masturbation sessions. Especially if you keep reporting that you messed up again and again and again. It's easy for people to assume that you just want someone to tell your porn escapades to instead of being truly interested in quitting. 

    God hasn't abandoned you by the way. Only person God has ever withdrew from completely is Jesus (when on the cross) Everyone else chose to leave God or shut out His influence by making bad choices. He is there, He very much is watching over you. You just have to decide to let go of this bad habit for good. 

    I really don't know what you are looking for at this moment. It sounds like you are beating this vice. Keep up the good work and show more love to Heavenly Father. He was there the whole time, you just couldn't feel Him because you were caked in filth and darkness. Also, stop being so hard on yourself, EVERYONE makes mistakes.

    *Just went back and read it again.

    Stop having high expectations for everyone else at church. You have to learn to be your own man. Find a positive hobby and become good at it. Stop seeking the approval of anyone else but God at the moment. Sounds like your wife is just throwing a fit. If you didn't commit physical adultery with another woman she honestly needs to get over your old porn addiction. Her bruised ego will heal in time. Also, try to put yourself in her shoes, imagine if every time she was mad at you or sad she went to go look at random naked men on the internet. That would get annoying and would be hurtful I imagine. Stay in your marriage and earn back her trust. If she decides not to forgive you then, of course, go from there. Pray always and believe you are being heard. 

    If anything at all just know you were an average Male while you were looking at porn. Honestly, you were just as telestial as any other sinning gentile. Stop beating yourself up. As a Son of God you are not average, you hold yourself to a higher standard. Others hold you to a higher standard. It is our lot in life. We lead from the front not from the rear. In this battle of ideas and mortal agency, as a priesthood holder, you ARE the tip of the spear.

  11. 7 hours ago, goor_de said:

    Can God not estimate at the vocation what character the probant has?

    I think I know what you are getting at. Here is something I noticed too: Often if the bishop doesn't do something criminal a lot of members say "He is called of God and inspired, even if you have a million things on your plate you should take the call he is extending (just one example) As soon as a bishop commits a crime "He used his agency for evil and is just a natural man like everyone else and deserves his punishment" Here is my take, if the Bishop asks you to do something that makes YOU uncomfortable review it in your mind and pray. If it then doesn't sit well take it to your stake President. If it is something criminal report immediately to your stake President and police.

    To answer the question, God knows all of us and our strengths and weaknesses. It us up to the leaders to prayerfully call members to callings. To be in tune with the spirit. Most of the times they get it right, sometimes they don't; they are mortal just like us. Sometimes people are worthy at the moment and the spirit gives the okay to call them, then they become unworthy after they receive the calling. It is up to them at that point to confess and go through the repentance process.

  12. 1 hour ago, zil said:

    I've discovered there are lots of ways to get rust off, but some are more entertaining than others. 

    Interesting description of this process. I suppose watching water boil and paint dry can fall into this category as well.

    1 hour ago, zil said:

    IMO, most of the time, "safe" is a behavior, not an inanimate object.)

    Quite

    Well, I suppose a land mine and a cake have the same safety rating according to this train of thought. 

  13. One of my unofficial hobbies is talking to people. Not only on the internet but in person. I like to listen and also tell them stories. I like to see their faces light up when they talk about themselves and I like to see the wheels turning when they listen to me share a story or random knowledge. Don't get me wrong, I need breaks too. I normally didn't room with a person I wanted to keep a long friendship with when I was single. EVERYONE gets annoying the longer you stay with them. Now that's not always a done deal. Sometimes it is manageable. Sometimes roommates can become an extension of your family, with the good and bad but with acquaintances it is easier to maintain short bursts of positivity spread out so you associate positive feelings in your mind about them. Just a couple of examples of relationships you can have.

    I once got in argument with my mailman. He was mad because I didn't answer my door fast enough (caught him as he was getting back in his mail mobile) he was an old retired military vet. He got all uppity but I stood my ground that could answer the door to whoever I wanted, at the speed I wanted. After that I would make sure to greet him with a smile even though he didn't respond at first. Eventually we became friends as he always delivered my packages. One day he was curious why I always got so much stuff and lucky for him it was jerky! I busted it open and we sat and ate it together. Lol. After that he'd deliver my stuff in lightning speed and if I ordered something shareable (like Utah truffles) he'd get some nice samples. People are priceless! Even more so extraordinary people; keeps hope alive when you run across one.

  14. 1 hour ago, SpiritDragon said:

    I imagine almost everyone that knows me or has remembered some of my posts here would be aware that I have a very big interest in health and fitness. What they may not know though is that I have had a lifelong love of building with lego blocks, but I'm not a brand snob, I'll happily accept Mega Bloks (now Mega Construx for the standard lego compatible blocks) and Blocktech, but I've never had the opportunity to try Tyco Super Blocks, in any event the "knock off" blocks I've tried have been quite compatible and comparable. The one thing I could count on for Christmas for years was a new addition to my Lego Collection. My oldest daughter (3) loves to watch DinoTrux on Netflix and enjoys building various Trux with me and then playing with our creations to build more creations or rather "Trux it up."

    I have also surprised people because I enjoy Chess. It's one of the first games I remember learning to play and look forward to teaching my children. I haven't played in forever, but I used to be able to play a respectable game playing a former Chess Champion of the City of Calgary (a city of 1.5 million people - though more like half that at the time) to a stalemate (draw). I was unofficially rated playing a computer to score in the low 2000s on the ELO scale. Up until then I just played with my brother and friends for fun, but apparently I wasn't half bad. Perhaps with a bit of brushing up i could be again, but it's likely been at least a decade since my last real game.

    Oh it always goes over well as one of my quirks as well - my first major purchase (around $300) that I made as a teenager when I could start earning my own money was an upright vacuum cleaner that I was in love with. Their is just something about a clean carpet with nice crisp and fresh vacuum lines... I love it.

     

    Fun! Legos are awesome. I would recommend getting the Taj Mahal set, as it has been brought back for another season.  It was selling for 1.5k+ before it was brought back. Get it while you can :P