KScience

Its really interesting to see all of the different perspectives about the length of time at church and I would like to add to the discussion and offer my own.
I would miss the time at church because it's about the only time I get to see other members, even though I currently spend 2 of those hours in primary (which BTW I LOVE). I am single and dont have family members to share the gospel with. My only opportunity in the week to discuss when I have been independently studying during the week or listen to the experiences of others is at church.  Sharing this experience is something which helps me to feel less lonely. 
Sunday afternoons can also be a lonely time for singles. I can't distract myself with work, I have limited opportunities to visit with other members as they are having family time and I would not feel comfortable encroaching on this time (and this thread reinforces that idea). I study and nap but it a personal struggle for me - just an alternative perspective I don't expect any solutions.
I also wonder if there is a geographical difference in perspectives. Being in the UK members are few and far between and the only opportunities for us to meet as saints is at organised meetings/events.

As a former Single Stake rep, I have met a lot of faithful single women. The demographic reality is that if they do not marry outside the church, they will not marry. Not marrying in this life has serious consequences. In my area, ministering sistering is, if not dead, certainly on life support. Being old childless and single is bleak. 
I often ponder what to do about the older single women. The over 40s and the older 50s. Many of them are have low incomes and no cars. No car in my area often means inactive as the bus system here is expensive and inconvenient. Some denominations, but not ours, have a bus. 
In general, if a member marries out, they become less active but the alternative is stark.

17 years together and THIS is how I find out my wife and I don't really love each other?  That stinks.

I agree, and yet struggle with this. Quite frankly, an atheist often has a better chance of conversion than a nominal Christian. The atheist is under no delusion. They know they are apart from, opposed to, or simply out of God's realm. Sadly, the spiritual person, the believer in a Higher Power, the "I believe in Jesus, but don't stress about it" person, the inactive member, the Christmas Easter Only (CEO) Christian, etc. etc. actually believes they are good enough--that God will take them in. If the church's teaching about 3 heavens is true, that may be right. However, from my binary perspective (heaven vs. hell), the half-hearted soul is the primary candidate to hear, on the day of judgment, "Depart from me, for I never knew you."
So...especially to young people,...my counsel would be run, do not walk, away from romantic relationship with those that are under-devoted. You cannot woo them, nurse them, even love them into the Kingdom. Let Heavenly Father do His work in their lives. Romantic love must never overwhelm the love and devotion we have for the one true and living God.
-- Okay, PC is done preaching.

Does that make this the afternoon of the first resurrection!?

Well done you. 
I am still in the procrastination bandwagon. My excuse being that after summer break I am back at work teaching and its MANIC.  Just about keeping my head above water but give it a couple of weeks (she says optimistically) and I will make time

Really?  Cool.  I trust the church, and since they are only handling the money and managing it for God, who I am to argue?
 

Although my husband has forgiven me and I have felt the love and forgiveness from HF I have had a hard time forgiving myself.  It wasn't until after speaking with my bishop that I finally feel as if a weight has been lifted and I am truly on my way to forgiving myself and letting the shame go.  I wish I could encourage everyone to meet with their bishop.  It has been SO helpful for me!
 

Nope. The preferred term is antiChurchOfJesusChristOfLatter-daySaints. If that is too long for space constraints, it may be shortened to antiChrist.

VelvetShadow I can understand your desire to learn about the church before making a full commitment and have taken your questioning as a demonstartion of the importance that this decision is to you.
If you want some of your questions answered I can recommend a great book The House of the Lord By James E. Talmage available on GoogleBooks:  https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=mX4zCgAAQBAJ  
I hope this answers some of your questions and helps you come to a decision.
 

I don't believe what I said is contradictory at all. I apologize if no offense was intended, I don't mind if we disagree, you just came off as condescending to me. I understand how the Spirit world works. I know that millions, if not billions, who have died will have the oppportunity to repent. Especially, those who have not heard the gospel. But, I've read the scriptures you posted (many times over the course of my life) and I don't see anything that indicates we should not repent now. We know the truth and while some salvation in a lower kingdom is possible for us if we refuse to change in this life, to me at least, no matter how glorious salvation is in the Terrestial and Telestial kingdoms, it pales in comparison to the darkness of losing exaltation. I don't know who will have that chance to still be exalted if they die and refuse to repent in this life, and who won't, only God can judge that, but I'm not taking chances with my exaltation. You can wait until you die to repent if you want too, I'm going too now. 

For those who converted as teens or adults, there is often a dramatic turn around. "I once was lost but now am found, was blind but now I see." In such cases, credit for the change towards goodness often goes to the church or religion.

Well, that's that.  I'll let the Prophet know.  He can pass it along to The Christ.

I have to assume there's a reason the Lord inspired this, and therefore, it's a good reason.  I can imagine a few reasons, but I also know that God's ways are not our ways and there's a fair chance my imagination would be wrong.  Revelation is probably the only way to get the reason(s), but the Lord doesn't always give us reasons - often he only gives us peace and/or testimony.
It seems the happiest outcome for all of us will come by choosing to get past any negative thoughts or knee-jerk objections to what appears to be a difficult task, and choosing instead to look for the positive.
 

Just wanted to say thank you to those who gave me supportive messages and add a quick update.
I am feeling much more positive about everything. And I know I have ended up in the right place for me to continue to grow spiritually.
Lovely welcoming ward, who are inclusive but not intrusive. I am looking forward to serving with these people and getting to know them better.
My RS president came to visit this week and we discussed my having not been to church is a long time. She was surprised from my interactions in RS class and said to just carry on as I have been, but to not be worried to say no to anything I wasn't feeling up to. 
I have had some productive meetings with my Bishop and plans are afoot.
So thank you chaps
 
 

Just wanted to say thank you to those who gave me supportive messages and add a quick update.
I am feeling much more positive about everything. And I know I have ended up in the right place for me to continue to grow spiritually.
Lovely welcoming ward, who are inclusive but not intrusive. I am looking forward to serving with these people and getting to know them better.
My RS president came to visit this week and we discussed my having not been to church is a long time. She was surprised from my interactions in RS class and said to just carry on as I have been, but to not be worried to say no to anything I wasn't feeling up to. 
I have had some productive meetings with my Bishop and plans are afoot.
So thank you chaps
 
 

Just wanted to say thank you to those who gave me supportive messages and add a quick update.
I am feeling much more positive about everything. And I know I have ended up in the right place for me to continue to grow spiritually.
Lovely welcoming ward, who are inclusive but not intrusive. I am looking forward to serving with these people and getting to know them better.
My RS president came to visit this week and we discussed my having not been to church is a long time. She was surprised from my interactions in RS class and said to just carry on as I have been, but to not be worried to say no to anything I wasn't feeling up to. 
I have had some productive meetings with my Bishop and plans are afoot.
So thank you chaps
 
 

Just wanted to say thank you to those who gave me supportive messages and add a quick update.
I am feeling much more positive about everything. And I know I have ended up in the right place for me to continue to grow spiritually.
Lovely welcoming ward, who are inclusive but not intrusive. I am looking forward to serving with these people and getting to know them better.
My RS president came to visit this week and we discussed my having not been to church is a long time. She was surprised from my interactions in RS class and said to just carry on as I have been, but to not be worried to say no to anything I wasn't feeling up to. 
I have had some productive meetings with my Bishop and plans are afoot.
So thank you chaps
 
 

I have two kids with serious mental illnesses.  Both are YSA aged and haven't married, but both are leading good lives.  In both cases it took some time to find a treatment that worked for them, and sometimes a treatment that was working for them became ineffective and the search for a better treatment had to go all over again.  It is not easy, and certainly not an easy thing for a spouse to live with, but I believe it can be done.  The spouse of somebody with mental illness will need to have a good understanding of what a mental illness is and be able to not take the symptoms of it as if they were deliberate chosen actions.  It would take a lot of charity, but mental illness is a temporary thing and after mortality it wont' be a factor.

Hi.  Glad to hear you love the LORD and our trying to come back.  Do not let the sins of your past haunt you too much.  Christ went to the Garden of Gethsemane and the cross for all of your sins so you could repent.  Do your best to repent and follow all the steps of repentance on your sins.  It may take many years to overcome your sins but do not give up.
Neil Andersen said: For most, repentance is more a journey than a one-time event. It is not easy. To change is difficult. It requires running into the wind, swimming upstream. Jesus said, “If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross and follow me.” (Matthew 16:24) … Sometimes in our repentance, in our daily efforts to become more Christlike, we find ourselves repeatedly struggling with the same difficulties. As if we were climbing a tree-covered mountain, at times we don’t see our progress until we get closer to the top and look back from the high ridges. Don’t be discouraged. If you are striving and working to repent, you are in the process of repenting. (Neil L. Andersen, October 2009 General Conference)
Pray for the peace of God to come into your life as you are forgiven of your sins.  The LORD loves you and His saints love you.  I believe in you.  You can do it. 

Don’t worry about the fraud thing. Tons of people return after a period of inactivity. We are all used to the pattern and most of us have had less enthusiastic periods. You are NOT a fraud. You are your unique self and no one can replace you. We are glad that you are back. If the questions get too much, just smile. 🙂

Update...I took your advice and walked in.  Beating heart, sweating brow ignored, remembering your advice and positivity and humming Handel to myself got me into the building.
This week was the week I was supposed to be there.
A warm welcome as soon as I walked in the door as the Bishop,  Relief Society President and  Exec Sec walked out of the bishops office and right into me. TBH I felt a little overwhelmed at this point, but found a quiet spot at the back of the chapel for Sacrament. Felt buoyed by the testimonies shared. A positive message from Sunday school and RS was a task which aimed on us getting to know our fellow sisters so that we can minister well, so a great introduction to the RS sisters. 
 
Such a positive experience, thank you for holding my hand whilst I took my first step.

Thank you everyone for your kind replies.  Your optimism is starting to rub off on me! 
One foot in front of the other and aiming to keep walking into the chapel on Sunday. 

Week 2 the return continues......
Well the efficiency of this ward is outstanding; my records were transferred by Tuesday (along with a "you belong to us now" email from the Exec Sec) and meeting arranged to see Bishop this morning by Wednesday!!
Meeting with the Bishop was productive and I now feel that I can start to move forward properly.
Thank you all for holding my hand so far.
My only real concern now is that I feel a bit of a fraud.  The ward have been REALLY welcoming and in an attempt to reach out to me in friendship, I have had a number of members ask me questions that it would be rude not to answer. Example: where I have come from, so have told them the area.  Its kind of obvious I am a member (e.g. still remember words to hymns) so people are assuming I was active and ask me if I know people (It's a SMALL SMALL world) and we have mutual acquaintances that I have not seen in years. 
I am being vague with my answers but feel like I am creating a false image of myself and lying. This is making me anxious.  I am not the most sociable person in the first place and this extra layer of anxiety is making me even more awkward in company. I am not ready to share anything this personal yet (says she oversharing on an open forum!!!)
Any advice would be very welcome as to how to address this.

Week 2 the return continues......
Well the efficiency of this ward is outstanding; my records were transferred by Tuesday (along with a "you belong to us now" email from the Exec Sec) and meeting arranged to see Bishop this morning by Wednesday!!
Meeting with the Bishop was productive and I now feel that I can start to move forward properly.
Thank you all for holding my hand so far.
My only real concern now is that I feel a bit of a fraud.  The ward have been REALLY welcoming and in an attempt to reach out to me in friendship, I have had a number of members ask me questions that it would be rude not to answer. Example: where I have come from, so have told them the area.  Its kind of obvious I am a member (e.g. still remember words to hymns) so people are assuming I was active and ask me if I know people (It's a SMALL SMALL world) and we have mutual acquaintances that I have not seen in years. 
I am being vague with my answers but feel like I am creating a false image of myself and lying. This is making me anxious.  I am not the most sociable person in the first place and this extra layer of anxiety is making me even more awkward in company. I am not ready to share anything this personal yet (says she oversharing on an open forum!!!)
Any advice would be very welcome as to how to address this.