KScience

Update: thank you so much to everybody for the advice and love. We went in last night to the Bishop and confessed and have started the repentance process. We do already feel so much better. I don’t know exactly what the future holds for us yet, but I know that I’m going back to the path that I belong. Love to you all!!

Once someone shows me plans on a generator that runs on the tears of my online arguing opponents, I'll invest.  

@MormonGator I have lots of friends in UK who are very upset by this, and mostly its non members I have had comments from.  Its sickening how quickly fire can destroy what took over 200 years to build.  Every time I have visited I have been struck by the symbolism and how my students react in a reverent manner despite not being from religious backgrounds.  Maybe those closest to it take it forgranted and treat sacred things more casually (reminds me of a conference talk )
Christianity has been in disrepair for so long in Europe, but those who cling to their faith are special people. I was shocked when I lived in the US how much easier it is to talk about religion and how often the topic comes up in comparison to the UK

Answering the "how does this go" question-- 
You give your executive secretary a ring/text/email/whatever and say "I would like an appointment with the Bishop". He says something like "ok, does Wednesday at 7 work?"
You and hubby go meet with the Bishop and talk about things.  There's no pitchforks or shaming or anything like that.  The Bishop has heard this type of thing a million times before.  He is there to HELP you-- to help guide you to the Savior and be washed clean.  The Bishop is a coach to help you be the best disciples of Christ you can be (there was a excellent sports talk on this in the Priesthood session yesterday).  The fact that you and hubby both acknowledge that you messed up and have such remorse about it is already a huge step in the direction of repellence and becoming clean.  The bishop will help you become fully clean, and for you to know that you are clean-- shedding away this burden.  
You and your hubby are individuals and will have an individual path to repentance, so no one here can tell you the exact specifics of it.  But there's no calling your parents telling them you messed up (you guys aren't kids).  There's no huge red letter written on you.  This is between you and the Lord, with the Bishop coaching you on that journey.  

I could be wrong on this...but it seems that on this issue our churches, and indeed most of Christianity (at least those branches that hold to scriptural belief and practice), the real decision is whether or not we will hold to God's will on sex or not. Is sex to be reserved between a married woman and her husband or not? The culture says no. Men love men, women love women, and couples fall out of love. I suspect most of us here agree on this...and we say with Joshua, "As for me and my house we will serve the LORD."

Another divorcee here and I had my teenage son.  The ward were amazing and we were both in the same ward. I was initially worried but it was all in my own head.
As for my son, he needed his friends at church to help him deal with the situation.  They were the people he could call on for support and help him feel the love of the Saviour.  My home teachers were AMAZING and stepped up to make sure that he was included in things like father son camp, getting to early morning seminary when I was ill for a number of months. His YM presidency were true friends to him and positive male role models; this was really important for me as I do not have family that could take on these roles. Most importantly these were all people who knew him for years and he did not feel like a "project", they were our church family and accepted that sometimes bad stuff happens.  They accepted it all much better than I did.

Another divorcee here and I had my teenage son.  The ward were amazing and we were both in the same ward. I was initially worried but it was all in my own head.
As for my son, he needed his friends at church to help him deal with the situation.  They were the people he could call on for support and help him feel the love of the Saviour.  My home teachers were AMAZING and stepped up to make sure that he was included in things like father son camp, getting to early morning seminary when I was ill for a number of months. His YM presidency were true friends to him and positive male role models; this was really important for me as I do not have family that could take on these roles. Most importantly these were all people who knew him for years and he did not feel like a "project", they were our church family and accepted that sometimes bad stuff happens.  They accepted it all much better than I did.

Another divorcee here and I had my teenage son.  The ward were amazing and we were both in the same ward. I was initially worried but it was all in my own head.
As for my son, he needed his friends at church to help him deal with the situation.  They were the people he could call on for support and help him feel the love of the Saviour.  My home teachers were AMAZING and stepped up to make sure that he was included in things like father son camp, getting to early morning seminary when I was ill for a number of months. His YM presidency were true friends to him and positive male role models; this was really important for me as I do not have family that could take on these roles. Most importantly these were all people who knew him for years and he did not feel like a "project", they were our church family and accepted that sometimes bad stuff happens.  They accepted it all much better than I did.

I tend to be pretty live-and-let-live.  I really don't give a flip what church policies dictate on this situation.  What gives me pause is that this woman believes she's cursed and that the best way to make her life better is single parenthood. That speaks to an enormous disconnect from reality.  She needs therapy.

Oh my gosh!  I knew it!

And, this doesn't even touch on possible mental illnesses that may be sin related, if not caused. 
That's a very bold statement to make. Psychological conditions of any kind are largely multi-factorial. In some cases, there are genetic and biological causes (predisposition) and in other cases there are social-environmental causes.
Millions of people (including young children) around the world suffer from  bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, PTSD, and we are seeing many people (due to severe abuse) with dissociative identity disorder (DID). None of these conditions are caused by sin and even though I understand that psychological pathology can be complex, we also need to be aware that those who suffer from mental disorders oftentimes blame themselves for their condition. I think statements like the one above can be damaging (even though I'm sure you didn't mean it in a bad way).

I personally really appreciate your comments on the forum and think that you come across effectively and with compassion. I also think its great that you feel that you can contribute on an LDS forum with your different perspective. 
 
In answer to your original question:  Because they are not even looking!

And yet in many wards here in the UK we have many members with multiple callings. My current ward we have have had to amalgamate primary classes due to lack of teachers and needing two to a class.  The size of the ward makes SO much difference, if we have 80 adults on a Sunday we are having a good week.
 

An interesting podcast on this topic came up on my feed this evening and made me think of this thread.
 
https://leadingsaints.org/why-we-married-in-the-temple-after-20-years-in-same-sex-relationships-an-interview-with-bennett-becky-borden/
 
 
 

An interesting podcast on this topic came up on my feed this evening and made me think of this thread.
 
https://leadingsaints.org/why-we-married-in-the-temple-after-20-years-in-same-sex-relationships-an-interview-with-bennett-becky-borden/
 
 
 

Competitive painting?  You Saints are too wild and CRRAAAAAaaaaaZZZZZY for me.  

Is there a relationship between sin and sickness?
In the words of a very wise man:
Yes, I've overstated a very small amount for comic relief and dramatic effect.  But I will be adamant that the strength of the relationship between sin and sickness is, at best, weak (that's an actual statistical term that roughly translates to "has poor predictive ability"). 
Focusing on the two examples you provide: "gay bowel syndrome" is not a disease.  It was a generic term that covered a large array of conditions. One doctor coined the term to describe the set of symptoms he saw across his entire practice (which treated many gay men). It was not a medically developed term, nor was it a term used to describe a narrow, reproducible set of symptoms. Most notably, the term described symptoms, not disease. 
Caveat: yes, most of the diseases at issue were sexually transmitted. This was a term coined at a time when homosexuality was underground and the social consequences of being identified as homosexual were severe and frightening. In that environment, committed, steady homosexual relationships were rare, with many preferring casual relations to avoid having their sexual orientation discovered by their "normal life" acquaintances.  As homosexuality has come out of the shadows, homosexual relationships have become more accepted/tolerated, and safe sex practices have been established, "gay bowel syndrome" has fallen out of use out of both lower incidence and a preference for discussing the actual disease and not the symptoms.
If you want to make the argument that extra-marital/non-marital sex has an increased risk of sexually transmitted disease, go right ahead.  But that is not gay-specific.
 
Second, the relationship between mental illness and substance abuse is much more complicated to address.  And even in the article you quote, the relationship is described as complicated.  Certainly there is a correlation, but establishing which one is the cause and which one is the effect is incredibly difficult.  Your article even points out that in many instances, the mental illness precedes the substance abuse. Yet in others, the substance abuse may fundamentally alter the brain resulting in mental illness. In the former case, the sickness likely predisposes to the sin; in the latter, it wasn't the sin that caused the illness, but the natural consequence of mixing chemicals.
I won't object to a claim that commandments may protect us from certain consequences.  But there is a big difference between framing illness as a consequence of action and framing illness as a punishment for action. Maybe I'm misunderstanding your motives, but your discussion thus far seems to have favored the punishment paradigm, which is one I reject without reservation.

The actions of sin may, at times, put you in an environment where disease is more likely,  but there are also many righteous actions that can put you in the way of disease. An acquaintance of mine caught TB serving homeless people. 
I can also give you examples of young children with cancer, and other disabilities. I may be rather sensitive to this as I recently had a very upset YW after where it was suggested by the SS teacher that her disability was due to sin.
I think that we need to be very careful making claims and assumptions about other people's righteousness or sinfulness. I for one would hate to think that someone would not be able to speak out about mental health issues incase others thought the cause was sin.
How about the line of reasoning that disease and suffering can be a trial/affliction to help us to learn?

The actions of sin may, at times, put you in an environment where disease is more likely,  but there are also many righteous actions that can put you in the way of disease. An acquaintance of mine caught TB serving homeless people. 
I can also give you examples of young children with cancer, and other disabilities. I may be rather sensitive to this as I recently had a very upset YW after where it was suggested by the SS teacher that her disability was due to sin.
I think that we need to be very careful making claims and assumptions about other people's righteousness or sinfulness. I for one would hate to think that someone would not be able to speak out about mental health issues incase others thought the cause was sin.
How about the line of reasoning that disease and suffering can be a trial/affliction to help us to learn?

This is legit.  Seriously.
My point is that I don't really have a stumbling block with LGFBT-whatever.
To each his/her/its own.  I try not to judge.  And furthermore, I don't want to be in your bedroom or wherever you choose to do whatever it is that knocks your socks off.  
Come to church.  
“The church is not a place where perfect people gather to say perfect things, or have perfect thoughts, or have perfect feelings. The Church is a place where imperfect people gather to provide encouragement, support, and service to each other as we press on in our journey to return to our Heavenly Father.”  ― Joseph B. Wirthlin
 
Mark 2 16 And when the scribes and Pharisees saw him eat with publicans and sinners, they said unto his disciples, How is it that he eateth and drinketh with publicans and sinners?
17 When Jesus heard it, he saith unto them, They that are whole have no need of the physician, but they that are sick: I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.
Come, Join with US.  Uchtdorf, Oct 2013

The problem is that our culture is drifting toward the idea that the only way to show compassion and love toward someone is to support every single thing they do.  "Love the sinner, hate the sin" is an idea that people are forgetting in alarming numbers.
What makes it worse in the case of LGBT issues is that instead of someone's sexuality being an aspect of their personality, it's  treated as the core of their being... so if you disapprove of homosexual behavior, our culture interprets that as hating the person himself/herself.  "It's who I AM!!!!"
It's a completely illogical notion, but one that has taken in a LOT of people.

You are in my prayers.
No advice but lots of sympathy.
Despite being well educated and in full time work as a lecturer I can only afford to rent a room because rents are crazy. A bedroom with just enough room to fit in bed, wardrobe and desk with kitchen shared by 9 rooms costs nearly half my take home pay.  I was only going to be here a year so thought as a temp measure it would be OK....somehow I ended up staying longer.  Renting a one bedroom apartment within an hours drive to work would be nearly 3/4 take home pay without bills. But I spend more time at work than home, its warm, its safe and private, so counting my blessings.

When you're a vital part of an executive team of a worldwide organization with enough power to have an influence in various ways, maybe even impact stock prices here or there, get world leaders to do this or that, you get paid millions.  The head boss person gets paid millions, his dozen or so executive VPs get paid slightly smaller millions. Everyone has golden parachutes and severance packages and retirement plans and stock grants, and have fancy homes in rich areas.  
The leaders of our church, lead such a powerful organization.   They meet with world leaders, move resources around for various projects, have an impact on a local, state, and even occasionally national level.  Our leaders make about as much as a pastor with a medium/large congregation in a medium/large midwestern town.  They have no retirement.  They are expected to maintain a rigorous travel schedule that grows old very fast for any human.  They spend much of their time attending the same half dozen meetings over and over again.  Until they die.  No sane person seeking to climb to higher levels of career success would want to come within a million miles of getting sucked into a GA calling.  In fact, such callings represent the end of growing in career success. 
There really is no comparison.  The only reasonable explanation for our church's leaders doing what they do, is they believe in what they are doing.