scottyg

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  1. Like
    scottyg reacted to anatess2 in Reaction to change   
    Yeah... that would be... awkward.  Bishop/Stake Pres:  We're preparing to ordain your son on Jan 20... Parents:  No. 
    In the meantime, everybody else in the Teacher's quorum (it is literally the entire Teacher's quorom moving up) gets ordained wondering why my son got left behind. 
    But yes, it is what it is.  If my son doesn't think he's ready (which he doesn't feel he is right now), I have assured him and will continue to do so, that he shouldn't feel pressured to move up just because everybody else moved up.
  2. Like
    scottyg reacted to Midwest LDS in Reaction to change   
    I agree wholeheartedly. While I don't criticize anyone for their struggles, to me it's always been enough to know that a change comes from the First Presidency to feel at peace about it. President Woodruff promised in the name of God that
    "The Lord will never permit me or any other man who stands as President of this Church to lead you astray. It is not in the programme. It is not in the mind of God. If I were to attempt that, the Lord would remove me out of my place, and so He will any other man who attempts to lead the children of men astray from the oracles of God and from their duty."
    I've received revelation that President Nelson is God's prophet on the Earth. To me that means I don't need to be concerned with the direction the church is heading, because God himself is at the helm. That is enough for me.
  3. Like
    scottyg reacted to Vort in Reaction to change   
    By nature, all people are conservative in that they get some level of comfort with how things are and are loath to change. This is true for the good, as when a man prefers to preserve a relationship with his wife rather than leave her, despite unpleasant elements of friction, and also for the bad, as when a woman refuses to leave her abusive boyfriend because the devil you know is better than the devil you don't. But when we trust the source of change, this should be less of an issue. When we claim to believe the source of change is the Lord, this should not be an issue at all.
    I understand those who feel at loose ends based on the changes to Church procedure these past ten or so months. I understand questions and feelings of doubt; I am not too proud to admit I've felt them myself. But do we or do we not believe that this is Christ's Church? Do we or do we not sustain Elder Nelson as the prophet and president of God's kingdom on earth?
    I believe these changes, including the most recent announcement about young men receiving the Priesthood at an earlier age, are inspired by Christ, and I choose to act and react based on that belief. Moreover, even if I thought that these changes were "only" the efforts of the First Presidency "trying out" some new ideas, that would not change my underlying conviction. I choose to sustain the members of the First Presidency, and thus I will treat their policy changes as if they came from the Lord himself. Because effectively, by the duties of the position which those men hold, the changes in effect have come from Jesus Christ. "Whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants, it is the same."
    In my firm opinion, the proper response to such an announcement is never to say, "That can't be right." The proper response in every case is to accept and move forward, championing the change. For heaven's sake, we're not talking about pulling our handcarts to Jackson County or reinstating polygamy. If we are unable to sustain our leaders with full purpose of heart when they announce relatively trivial changes in operational practices like home teaching or Priesthood ordination age, how will we possibly survive the maelstroms that come with the real, important, deep changes that surely lie ahead?
  4. Like
    scottyg reacted to LadyGunnar in Mothers Have the Primary Role of Teaching in the Home   
    I would be lost if my father hadn't taught me the gospel. Mom did all the stuff that she was supposed to do. Family prayers, morning and night. She must have prayed 4 times each morning with different kids and dad. Scripture studies each night. Family home evening. 
    My dad taught us in simple ways. He was teaching us without us knowing what he was doing. He is the reason that I have a testimony.  I know my sibling feel the same.  If my dad hadn't done what he did, none of his kids would be in the church.  
    My mom did all she could, but she didn't have the impact that my dad did. My kids seem to grasp gospel things better when it comes from their dad.  I am thankful for the men in my life.
  5. Love
    scottyg reacted to boxer in So, in New Jersey, teachers are required to tell their students   
    And I'm just gonna leave this here:
    https://www.lifesitenews.com/news/high-school-students-stage-walkout-to-support-teacher-fired-for-refusing-to
     
  6. Like
    scottyg reacted to boxer in So, in New Jersey, teachers are required to tell their students   
    Two boys throwing glitter all over the place-boys being rambunctious boys trying to burn off energy.
    Boys not obeying teacher in putting away glitter and cleaning up their mess when teacher says so-spoiled brats who need some stern discipline-both from the teacher and from parents.
    Ever notice has the vast majority of ADHD cases are boys??  Hmm . . .maybe it's not a "real" thing except a way to codify, disobedient boys.
    Teachers can't or won't discipline children anymore.  They think a kid needs to be "talked to", he needs to "explain his feelings" . .which is the wrong approach-and typical for women (no offense). 
    Why did the boy throw glitter . . .b/c it seemed like a cool thing to do! And of course it was . . .it was glorious!
    Why does the boy not obey?  Because no one taught him in no uncertain terms that he will obey his mother-either through removal of privileges, toys, games, etc. or buy being sent to their room, or by even simply taking a stern and firm tone with the kid. 
    Parents get down on their knees and talk "nice" like they are begging a king for he to obey . . .and they wonder why the kid doesn't obey . . .well you treat him like a king and a king can do whatever he wants.
    The boys aren't the problem-it's society and parents.
  7. Like
    scottyg reacted to mikbone in So, in New Jersey, teachers are required to tell their students   
    I almost failed my medical school psych rotation.  
    I refused to call homosexuality a normal variant.
    And I butted heads with one of the professors that was instrumental in coming up with the diagnosis and treatments of ADHD.
     
    Diagnostic criteria for Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder
    These criteria are obsolete.
    DSM Criteria  DSM IV - TR
    A. Either (1) or (2): 
    (1) inattention: six (or more) of the following symptoms of inattention have persisted for at least 6 months to a degree that is maladaptive and inconsistent with developmental level: 
    (a) often fails to give close attention to details or makes careless mistakes in schoolwork, work, or other activities 
    (b) often has difficulty sustaining attention in tasks or play activities 
    (c) often does not seem to listen when spoken to directly 
    (d) often does not follow through on instructions and fails to finish school work, chores, or duties in the workplace (not due to oppositional behavior or failure to understand instructions) 
    (e) often has difficulty organizing tasks and activities 
    (f) often avoids, dislikes, or is reluctant to engage in tasks that require sustained mental effort (such as schoolwork or homework) 
    (g) often loses things necessary for tasks or activities (e.g., toys, school assignments, pencils, books, or tools) 
    (h) is often easily distracted by extraneous stimuli 
    (i) is often forgetful in daily activities 
    (2) hyperactivity-impulsivity: six (or more) of the following symptoms of hyperactivity-impulsivity have persisted for at least 6 months to a degree that is maladaptive and inconsistent with developmental level:
    Hyperactivity 
    (a) often fidgets with hands or feet or squirms in seat 
    (b) often leaves seat in classroom or in other situations in which remaining seated is expected 
    (c) often runs about or climbs excessively in situations in which it is inappropriate (in adolescents or adults, may be limited to subjective feelings of restlessness) 
    (d) often has difficulty playing or engaging in leisure activities quietly 
    (e) is often "on the go" or often acts as if "driven by a motor" 
    (f) often talks excessively
    Impulsivity
    (g) often blurts out answers before questions have been completed 
    (h) often has difficulty awaiting turn 
    (i) often interrupts or intrudes on others
     
    I argued that these criteria basically describe normal children.  
    I ‘m pretty sure that she hated me and at one moment during an argument she blurted out “You have ADHD!”
    I laughed and took the C.
  8. Like
    scottyg reacted to Jane_Doe in How Do Parents Deal with Babies and Church Attendance?   
    I've always gone with my baby, all three hours, with just me (my husband is not a member).  The first step is to have realistic expectations of yourself and little one.  You (the parent) aren't going to be able to listen to the speakers as attentively as you did without kids, because your focus is now on teaching little one how to (eventually) listen and be quiet.  Eventually = by age 10.  Right now little one is not going to be silent nor perfectly still, so don't even try for that.  Rather, try for not screaming and hanging out in the vicinity of the pew.  It really is easier to teach them this at 9 months, before they can run away from you.  
    Something that is not the end of the world: your kid screaming at the top of their lungs and running up to the podium-- it happens.  And on that week all the other parents will be grateful it's your kid screaming the loudest that week.  And next week you will be grateful when it's their kid who is screaming and throwing toys.
    Speaking of toys: a few (~3) quiet toys or snacks is are good to have.
    If they totally tantrum and need to be taken out, you make that more miserable that being behaved in sacrament meeting.  Note: tantrum means actually tantrum, something like a newborn expressing they need to eat.
    If you have that luxury, it's great.  Gives each parent some breathing space.  
    If one parent has a teaching assignment, the other can take the kid.  If it's just one parent, then there's other alternative too.  
    No.
    Church time is family time.  
    Every one comes, everyone learns.  Yes, this is work- work is part of teaching children to walk with Christ.  The kids see with their own eyes how important church and Christ are to you.  You show them how to worship, that this is in the church building and in home.  
     
     
    I know it's common in other Christian churches to have a "Children's Church"-- aka ship the kids off to a gymnasium where they run around and play, rather than sitting and learning about Christ.  My husband grew up in one, I have friends who currently send their kids to them.  In term this seems great: have someone else watch the kids!   And if you want to raise an atheist, I totally recommend it.  It teaches toddlers that church = recess.  They don't see you worship-- and the thought of staying with you and worshipping become repulsive.  And they stay that way as the grow up: all they want is recess and to be entertained, not to cultivate a relationship with Christ.
  9. Like
    scottyg reacted to rchorse in Church Welfare   
    Hi, I've been lurking for a while here, but haven't posted. But this topic brings me out of the woodwork.
    As a former bishop over a ward that had a lot of welfare needs, I have to say that this is spot on. Way too many people live for years on church welfare and are never helped to become self sufficient. So many welfare abusers have become extremely skilled at manipulating the emotions of bishops with guilt trips and other things. It is very important that a bishop understand the root cause of the financial trouble and then help the member to make changes where necessary. This approach is outlined very clearly in the handbook. I had one person furious at me for quite a while because I would not help them keep a car that was too expensive and would only pay rent for 3 or 4 months to give them time to figure something out. This person had lived for I think 6 or 7 years off church welfare. Strangely, though, after about a year they were 100% self sufficient and doing very well. 
    It's a very fine line between holding someone accountable and guilt tripping. No one should be made to feel guilty for things beyond his or her control or for having a hard time. But it can be very difficult sometimes to make sure you understand the situation and evaluate whether someone really needs the help without coming off like you're trying to guilt trip someone. We typically had a policy of always giving food when asked, but scrutinizing other expenses much more closely. Although, I had one case where a guy was trading the food for cigarettes and drugs. In that case, we stopped giving food.
    We also had many cases where we basically had to force people to take help when they clearly needed it. We had to resort to leaving boxes of food on the porch and similar things a couple of times.
    Administering welfare is really not easy and finding the right balance between accountability and compassion can be very difficult. I would cut the bishop and RS president some slack.
  10. Like
    scottyg reacted to NeuroTypical in Church Welfare   
    The point of asking for church assistance, is to receive temporary aid.  The church will do two things - provide the aid, and work with you to ensure it's temporary.   It's a sensitive subject, needing both the seeker and the provider(s) to be gentle and mature.  In my role as finance clerk, I've seen lucifer manage to crowbar some inappropriate shame into this process on more than one occasion.  People get their feelings hurt.  They confuse advice on how to do things different, with an attack on their character.  I admit the possibility that maybe an RS pres or bishop gets frustrated and speaks out of that frustration, instead of the pure love they usually carry. 
    I've clerked for 3 bishops.  I call them bishop Spiritual, bishop Blunt, and bishop Helpful.  Each one of them had a different approach to how to help members with temporal matters.  From my limited and incomplete view, each bishop had 95% of the members going away happy and grateful, and 5% going away offended and complaining about how they were treated poorly.
    It gets especially painful during the holidays.  
    God bless you, Emmanuel Goldstein.  If you're having hard times, here's wishing you good holidays, and a better next year.  
  11. Like
    scottyg reacted to anatess2 in Church Welfare   
    If you need help, you need help.  It has zero bearing over your tithe payments or fast offerings.  The bolded statement above is something I learned when my dad got sick with cancer.  I did everything I can do for my dad and he was still mad at me because he wanted to go home (which means he will die).  I became resentful of my dad's ingratitude until I finally smacked myself out of my self-focus to realize... I didn't do all those things for my dad so my dad will thank me!  I did it for my dad because I love him!
    So you should pay your tithes and fast offerings with your right hand and not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing.
    You can't control what your Bishop or RS President does.  You do have control over how you react to them.  Feeling guilt tripped may be a sign that your humility needs more humility.
     
  12. Like
    scottyg got a reaction from SilentOne in Comparisons between Jesus and Joseph   
    Joseph was having struggles and complaining...their time in Liberty jail was brutal. The Lord told him "The Son of Man hath descended below them all.  Art thou greater than he?" so that Joseph would realize that the Lord understood his struggles perfectly...and that he had been through much worse than Joseph would ever endure. It was both a gentle reassurance as well as a gentle rebuke. In no way was Joseph ever comparable to the Savior...definitely Apples to Oranges...or more like Grapes to Watermelons.
  13. Like
    scottyg got a reaction from mordorbund in My Theory on Who Is the Holy Ghost   
    The following is from Truman G. Madsen, my favorite church historian.
    Oral tradition attributes another wise maxim to the Prophet: “Don’t climb to the extreme branches of the tree, for there is danger of falling: cling close to the trunk.” One translation: Avoid the vain mysteries and the discussion of them. Avoid imaginative speculation. But Joseph Smith, one must quickly add, made a distinction between the mysteries of godliness-that is, the deeper things that can only be known by revelation to the soul on the how of living a godly life - and the speculative pursuit of matters that are without profit to the soul. The vain mysteries are those of which we know nothing and need not know anything - whether, for example, the pearly gates swing or roll. Or, what is the ultimate destiny of the sons of perdition. “Cling close to the trunk.” Truman G. Madsen, Joseph Smith the Prophet (Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1989), 104.
    I agree with what Vort said at the first, lets not talk about or worry about this. It is not pertinent, and doing so can cause more harm than good.
  14. Like
    scottyg got a reaction from mordorbund in My Theory on Who Is the Holy Ghost   
    The following is from Truman G. Madsen, my favorite church historian.
    Oral tradition attributes another wise maxim to the Prophet: “Don’t climb to the extreme branches of the tree, for there is danger of falling: cling close to the trunk.” One translation: Avoid the vain mysteries and the discussion of them. Avoid imaginative speculation. But Joseph Smith, one must quickly add, made a distinction between the mysteries of godliness-that is, the deeper things that can only be known by revelation to the soul on the how of living a godly life - and the speculative pursuit of matters that are without profit to the soul. The vain mysteries are those of which we know nothing and need not know anything - whether, for example, the pearly gates swing or roll. Or, what is the ultimate destiny of the sons of perdition. “Cling close to the trunk.” Truman G. Madsen, Joseph Smith the Prophet (Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1989), 104.
    I agree with what Vort said at the first, lets not talk about or worry about this. It is not pertinent, and doing so can cause more harm than good.
  15. Like
    scottyg reacted to Vort in My Theory on Who Is the Holy Ghost   
    Please, stop this thread right now. Seriously. Please just stop. This is not the type of thing that ought to be speculated on. Please just let it die. Anything you write will just embarrass you, anyone who reads it, and Latter-day Saints in general.
  16. Like
    scottyg got a reaction from Barrett Maximus in More stupid convert questions - food edition   
    I would say pray about it. I know that isn't always a well liked answer, but that is one reason why we have the Gift of the Holy Ghost. If you are doing something that is offensive to the Lord the spirit will let you know.
    Personally, I do not cook with alcohol as it does not completely cook out...sometimes as much as 75-80% can be retained. There are charts online that detail the amounts. That being said, all foods that are made up of carbohydrates have trace amounts of alcohol in them...it is a natural part of the decomposition/fermentation process. Carbs change to alcohols which change to acetic acid/vinegar.
  17. Like
    scottyg got a reaction from Barrett Maximus in One Foot In   
    I agree. The church is true, so stop feeling offended by some remarks from an imperfect man made over 20 years ago. The Law of Chastity was broken, and they wanted to make sure you both knew why, and that you were actually worthy to enter the temple. This isn't small stuff...they would be held responsible someday if they didn't do their due diligence. People have a hard time getting the right words out all the time in all walks of life. Don't let your faith be shaken by something like that. You have done more harm to your family by not being fully active in the church. It may seem blunt and harsh, but it's true. Do you have a testimony of the Gospel being restored in the latter-days, or were you and your wife just going through the motions as kids? If you are unsure, pray about it, and once you get your answer act on it. Too many people nowadays are afraid to act...just come back to church and receive all of the blessings that are available to you. No need to be bashful about it...nobody there cares about your past and why you have been inactive...they are too busy worrying about themselves and their own kids.
  18. Thanks
    scottyg got a reaction from Iggy in Daughter wants her belly button pierced   
    This is exactly what the world teaches. Do not let her get the piercing. As long as she lives with you she follows the house rules, and your rules and instincts should not be altered because of the actions of one of your children. It may not be the end of the world, but the principle in play here is modesty plain and simple. If she gets a belly button ring, she will then want to wear a bikini to show it off. Also, what message will that send to all of the other girls she associates with...what will they start to think?
  19. Like
    scottyg reacted to anatess2 in Would you let your son's girlfriend stay over at your house?   
    How do you think it happened that a child you raised from when he was 1 second old grew up not respecting anything you say?  They don't just turn 18 and all of a sudden "you couldn't stop him".  And if you can't stop him, how do you think his dad can stop him?  Devouring mothers end up raising adults they can't stop.  But that's water under the bridge now.  The only thing you can do now is support your husband 100% and take away your son's keys.  He can knock on the door if he wants to be let in.
  20. Like
    scottyg reacted to zil in Would you let your son's girlfriend stay over at your house?   
    These events speak to a clear pattern of your children choosing fornication over the gospel of Jesus Christ and over the counsel of their parents.  Maybe by the time daughter got pregnant it was too late to handle it in a way that teaches son the seriousness of this sin and that it's not a consequence he wants, not enough info to be sure.  But anger and shouting aren't needed to teach children to love the gospel of Jesus Christ, and if you think they are, there's more wrong right there.  Sigh.  I think it's time for this thread to end.  You've gotten all the answer you're going to get.  All this rehashing won't change things.  You and your husband need to regroup, get on the same page, present a united front to all your children, and work extra hard to help the littlest of them learn truth rather than the lies their siblings are teaching.
  21. Like
    scottyg reacted to NeuroTypical in Would you let your son's girlfriend stay over at your house?   
    I thought your son was an adult.  How come an adult needs to ask their daddy if they can have sex?  For that matter, how can an adult's mommy not "allow" them?
    The obvious answer is "your son is not an adult".
  22. Thanks
    scottyg reacted to zil in Would you let your son's girlfriend stay over at your house?   
    Why do you keep ignoring the alternative of just stopping him from fornicating with his girlfriend under your roof?  Everyone's consistently given two options:
    1) Go live in your own house and make your own rules.
    2) Live by our rules under our roof.
  23. Like
    scottyg reacted to zil in Would you let your son's girlfriend stay over at your house?   
    And you think his fornication isn't harming his younger siblings?  Holy cow, woman!  This is seriously messed up.
    ...and later, after reading about the daughter - guess where the son got the idea that having extra-marital sex is A-OK?  From your response to your daughter's pregnancy - and no, I'm not talking about whether you kicked her out of the house.  You may as well stop teaching your children morals now, because your actions are speaking with an amplifier turned up to 11 and your words will be ignored.
  24. Like
    scottyg reacted to anatess2 in Would you let your son's girlfriend stay over at your house?   
    This is hilarious.  I don't condone it but your girlfriend can live with us.
    Poor husband...
  25. Like
    scottyg reacted to Jane_Doe in Would you let your son's girlfriend stay over at your house?   
    But you DO!!!  You PAY for the place for him to do it!!!