Manners Matter

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About Manners Matter

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    The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

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  1. Manners Matter


    Oh, happy day!! So thrilled for all of you.
  2. Manners Matter

    Activity Days - Ideas that focus on the Faith in God program

    You're welcome! I hope it helps. I've edited the above post to add the other ideas. One other thing - object lessons! They're a great way to get their attention and teach principles. They're also memorable. Check here:
  3. Manners Matter

    Activity Days - Ideas that focus on the Faith in God program

    When AD is cancelled for whatever reason, email the parents with a suggestion or two of what they can do at home (the FiG reqs that are easier at home - ie plan/prepare nutritious meal, visit a museum..., etc). This helps reinforce the fact that it's on the parents for their kid to earn the FiG award and you're just helping. : )
  4. Manners Matter

    Activity Days - Ideas that focus on the Faith in God program

    Talent Try it Night - Have slips of paper with different talents listed and they choose to act, do or draw. Send them home with a paper that listed all of them and have them try a different one each week. (see link below) Physical Fitness night (see dev talents #8) - Have them rotate through different activities (jumprope, sit ups, push ups, pilates, shoot hoops, etc). Talk about individual and team activities (not all of our girls can afford dance, soccer teams...). Book Share (see dev talents #6 for discussion) - Have each girl bring a favorite book and tell why she likes it. Family Night (see lrn/lv gspl #8) - Arrange to go to the FHC with a parent (who has a familysearch account) and have them look up their family on puzilla, pedigree pie, rootsmapper and play geneapardy. Print out the free coloring/activity pages on for them to take home. Putting Christ in Christmas - Share meaningful stories, poems, scriptures in between the girls taking turns playing or singing a non-commercial Christmas song. Dim the lights and bring in a rocker, small Christmas tree, led tealights. Service Night (see srvng othrs #2) - Write letters to missionaries and grandparents, thank you notes to teachers/parents/bus driver... Service Paper Chains - On strips of paper, have the girls write down different things they can do for people and who they'll do them for. Have them put them together to hang in their room and do one each day. Random Act of Kindness Night - Get wrapped candies (ie starbursts) and put a few in baggies with notes they color and then leave on people's windshields in the church parking lot (assuming that's where you meet at the same time as the youth). (the notes were 4x5 - you are a gem, you are loved, you are a gift - found on google). Book of Mormon Night is pretty quick - We learned the 8th AofF (guess-a-letter/hangman), then I showed the girls Pres Monson's 3 minute gen conf talk. I then pulled out the Gospel Art picts and did a short overall review (I could tell some of it was totally new for some of them). We then ended by playing BofM bingo - blackout style since we had time. Manners Night (Serving Others #6) - { was done in May for Mother's Day and I told the girls that moms like good manners 😊 } We did some charades, played 'Miss Manners Says' and then put together manners jars to take home so they could practice different things every day. (got jars at dollar store) Gratitude Night (was done in early Nov but good any time) - The focus was on being thankful, grateful and by extension, having compassion. We read the account of the 10 lepers and talked about the importance of expressing thanks and showing gratitude. We then made a thankful/grateful yarn web (stood in a circle, said something they're thankful for and tossed a ball of yarn to someone else). We then ended by creating a ‘sounds of gratitude’ door hang (they wrote things they appreciate on slips of paper and attached them to a ring with bells hanging from it (dollar store) - took them home to hang on their doors and whenever heard bells, say quick thanks to Heavenly Father). (will edit later to add - talent ideas sheet, manners idea, bom nght, gratitude night) talents - activity days.pdf
  5. Manners Matter


    That's great about the calling! I just started a thread in 'organizations>primary' and included a link to some ideas. I'll add more there when I have a chance but I hope some of that will help or give you something to work with (I only had girls and a fairly small group). My philosophy was that we can have fun but these kids need armor not fluff and it shouldn't require much money most of the time. I hope you both enjoy this new adventure.
  6. activity days - activity ideas.pptx
  7. Manners Matter

    Am I My Brother's Keeper?

    If the tables were turned, what would you want someone to do/say? or What do you think his dad would hope you would do/say?
  8. Manners Matter

    Trying to search the Family Search records...

    First - welcome! What I suggest is going to the link below to ask your question. Just tell them what you've told us and someone there should be able to help or point you in the right direction.
  9. Manners Matter

    Beware of the Bluehairs

    For every complaint, start asking them for 5 positives and/or solutions and what they'll do to help make it happen. You could also consider some responses that acknowledge their 'concern' but then switch the perspective. Furthermore, their complaining could very well be why they're not feeling/being included. No one prefers to spend precious down time with sourpusses so enabling their behavior isn't doing them any favors. Oh - and start assigning them service projects to help those in worse situations then they think they themselves are in.
  10. Manners Matter

    Warning in my Patriarchal Blessing

    Disagree. People save for a rainy day, big trip, retirement... If you are giving a significant amount to those less fortunate, that's a sign that someone isn't materialistic.
  11. Manners Matter


    @Grunt I saw your other post about being in UT so stop by Deseret Book and peruse what they have there. I did a quick search on their website and they may have something along the lines of what you're after.
  12. Manners Matter

    Church Welfare

    Just a few of the quotes I compiled some years ago on this topic: “A church dole would be worse than a government dole because it would fail in the face of greater light. Church practices portray more honorable aims, more glorious potential” (Thomas S. Monson, “Guiding Principles of Personal and Family Welfare,” Ensign, Sept. 1986, 5). Latter-day Saints have the responsibility to provide for themselves and their families. Individual members, however, may find it necessary to receive assistance beyond that which the family can provide, in which case they may turn to the Church for help. In some instances, individual members may decide to receive assistance from other sources, including government. In all such cases, members should avoid becoming dependent upon these sources and strive to become self-reliant. Where possible, they should work in return for assistance received. ( The assistance given by the bishop is temporary and partial. Remember, Church assistance is designed to help people help themselves. The rehabilitation of members is the responsibility of the individual and the family, aided by the priesthood quorum and Relief Society. We are attempting to develop independence, not dependence. The bishop seeks to build integrity, self-respect, dignity, and soundness of character in each person assisted, leading to complete self-sufficiency. (Thomas S. Monson, “Guiding Principles of Personal and Family Welfare,” Ensign, Sep 1986, 3) But the measure and extent of his [bishop] assistance will be determined by what we and our immediate family have done to solve the problem. Since the individual and family will be seeking to soundly establish themselves on the matter at hand, the resources of the Church Storehouse Resource System will be used only for temporary assistance, to bridge the gap between the problem and its earliest possible resolution. (Marion G. Romney, “Principles of Temporal Salvation,” Ensign, Apr 1981, 3) When administering Church welfare assistance, bishops strive to build the needy spiritually and to foster self-reliance. Key to this effort is assigning work to those receiving assistance. When members work for assistance, they remain industrious, maintain their self-respect, and increase their ability to be self-reliant. "Sometimes we may feel that we are being generous in giving them much without their giving any service in return, that maybe we are generous and that we are kind; but we are really unkind. It works the other way. We are unkind if we teach people to take without giving, without doing what they can do within reason" (Spencer W. Kimball, welfare services meeting report, Oct. 1974, 18). The bishop should give members opportunities to work to the extent of their ability for the assistance they receive (see Caring for the Needy, 5–6, 9). The First Presidency explained in 1936, “Relief is not to be normally given as charity; it is to be distributed for work or service rendered. . . . "I remind bishops of the vital need to provide recipients of welfare assistance with the opportunity for work or service that thereby they may maintain their dignity and independence and continue to enjoy the Holy Spirit as they benefit from Church Welfare Services self-help efforts. We cannot be too often reminded that Church welfare assistance is spiritual at heart and that these spiritual roots would wither if we ever permitted anything like the philosophy of the dole to enter into our Welfare Services ministrations. Everyone assisted can do something. Let us follow the order of the Church in this regard and insure that all who receive give of themselves in return" (Spencer W. Kimball, "Becoming the Pure in Heart," Ensign, May 1978, 79). "There is such a thing as encouraging idleness and fostering pauperism among men. Men and women ought not to be willing to receive charity unless they are compelled to do so to keep them from suffering. Every man and woman ought to possess the spirit of independence, a self-sustaining spirit, that would prompt him or her to say, when they are in need, 'I am willing to give my labor in exchange for that which you give me.' No man ought to be satisfied to receive, and to do nothing for it. After a man is brought down to poverty and is under the necessity of receiving aid, and his friends give it to him, he should feel that it is an obligation under which he is placed, and when the Lord should open his way he would return the gift. This is the feeling we should cultivate in our hearts" (Joseph F. Smith, Gospel Doctrine, 5th ed. [1939], 234). We assist with basic life-sustaining goods and services, not the maintenance of current living standards. Individuals and families may need to alter their standards of living in doing all they can to meet their own needs. (Thomas S. Monson, “Guiding Principles of Personal and Family Welfare,” Ensign, Sep 1986, 3) The Church helps needy members by providing them the goods and services necessary to sustain life. It does not provide members the means to maintain affluent living standards. Members who are temporarily unable to provide for themselves may need to alter their standards of living until they are able to provide fully for themselves. ( – questions)
  13. Manners Matter

    Church Welfare

    Perhaps they've seen a lot of abuse of the system (as I have) and are low on patience. Furthermore, paying tithing and fast offering is great but that's no different than those who also pay and have never asked for help so I suggest approaching it as: - I've done this, this, this and that to lower expenses - I'm doing this, this, this and that to bring in more money - I've approached all the extended family I can and they're helping with this, this and that - I'm willing to (continue) magnifying my calling, serve where/whenever there's a need (moves, meals, rides, set up/clean up for activities...), clean the building weekly, disinfect the nursery toys, watch kids so parents can attend the temple, index daily, etc - I'll take the free self-reliance course/s the church offers Hope things improve for you soon.
  14. Manners Matter

    Brainwashing our Children with Religion

    @clbent04 I haven't read the thread so my apologies if someone already made this point but in case it hasn't been brought up --- Do you think parents/teachers are brainwashing kids when they teach that 1x1=1 or that the square root of 9 is 3 or cat is spelled c-a-t, etc? I just don't get how teaching religion is 'brainwashing' but the same attitude isn't applied to other things. As far as you feeling there was a lack of exposure to other religions, perhaps your parents thought it best to help establish a solid foundation knowing you could take a 'world religions' course in institute when you were older. Be grateful for parents that "did an outstanding job raising us and giving us all the love in the world".
  15. @Alia - I'm sorry for your frustration, it's understandable. You can't change him, you can only change you and in order for things to be different, you need to stop enabling the situation. Some suggestions to get you started: - Decide how much play money you think would be reasonable if you were home with your son and your husband was the sole provider. Now, go to the bank and set up the accounts so that amount is all your husband can access. Start living as if you only had your husband's income and put all the rest towards 1 yr of food and supplies (for each of you) and 8 months of savings (6 weeks is a start but not what professionals recommend). I know you think employers will be there quickly but what if the situation was your husband getting injured and you needing to take care of him? Anyway, the other benefit to this is that after your husband gets a job, he's already used to the new lifestyle and since there's adequate savings, he won't come to you in a panic thinking you need to start working again. - You need to ask grandma to stop enabling the situation as well. Her willingness to watch your son when hubby drops him off is not helping. You may also want to ask father-in-law to have a man-to-man chat with your husband. - It seems your husband has regressed to acting like a 12 year old (not wanting to work, do chores; plays too many video games) so pack up the games and take them to his parents house. If your husband does go over there to play, his mom will get a better glimpse of the situation which will hopefully lead to change. Aside from that, I wouldn't want my child anywhere near 'shoot em up' video games not to mention the fact that those drive away the Spirit so such games and the like would be treated the same as cigarettes and not allowed in my house. - Whenever your husband asks you what you want for Christmas/birthdays/anniversaries, just say that all you want is to be able to be home with your child. - Whenever you see your husband make an effort (wash dishes, clean up, etc), shower praise and thanks like crazy even if it's not to your standard. - If things don't change after a while, ask the bishop to do a 5th Sunday meeting about manning up (I doubt you're the only wife in your ward dealing with some of these issues).