Manners Matter

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About Manners Matter

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    The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

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  1. Manners Matter

    Activity Days - Out of Control

    You/your wife: ~ Make sure you're planning activities with variety in mind (out of their seats part of the time; games, etc) ~ Have wiggle activities before starting (ie hokey pokey, dance routine things on youtube, etc) ~ If you have treats, only have them at the end and for those who acted appropriately ~ Work with their different natures and needs as best you can (ie some are social, some need connection, some need physical outlets, some need intellectual stimulation) The kids: ~ If there's a ring leader, take them aside and get them to be part of your team. If they have a 'special assignment' it might do the trick to turn things around. ~ You might need to have a chat with all of them. Reminding them that: - they wouldn't get away with this behavior at school so why doesn't church/the Lord's house get the same (or better) respect - these activities are a privilege, not a right - they are wanted here but if they can't behave/disrupt things for the others/choose not to participate, they will be given chores (ie scrub the crayon marks off tables and chairs - have a stack in the room and some cleaner and towels so they know you're serious) The leaders/parents: ~ Need to be aware of what's going on ~ May need to take turns attending ~ Need to be told to make sure their kids are climbing trees/running around *outside* for at least 30 minutes every day, especially before activities ~ Need to be told to limit sugar and screen time ~ Need to be reminded that you/your wife are volunteers! Hope some of this helps and that things improve soon.
  2. Manners Matter

    Christmas Party

    Leave Santa at the mall.
  3. Didn't read all the comments so this may have been mentioned. I see this as an age issue, not a religious one. To me, once a child is married (or of age to have graduated college), they're on their own* so I wouldn't feel guilty about helping the 18 year old and not the older set. You can still support your daughter … with letters and watching over the house (if that's feasible). Regarding concern over treating them differently, you can solve that by having things even with an inheritance. *in case anyone thinks this is cold/harsh: - you have to cut the apron strings at some point and as long as everyone understands when that will be, there shouldn't be an issue - I know someone that still pays for some things for her adult and married daughter as if it's a way to have some control/say in her life - not healthy for any of them
  4. I'm sorry for your struggles. - Try online dating (but ask lots of questions). - Stop … oh what's the word … creating scenarios in your head that may not even be true or happen. - Put your thoughts and energy toward what you WANT not what you don't ('what you feed, grows'). Find some positive affirmations to repeat if that helps. - Make sure you're in the right frame of mind and the type of person you want to meet before getting serious with anyone. - Check your library for 'It's Just My Nature' by Carol Tuttle. Trust me on this one. I'll pop back in if anything else comes to mind but hope this helps. {hugs}
  5. Manners Matter

    Would you list a mission on a resume?

    My husband included his mission on his resume - at the end along with Eagle Scout. It shows commitment (among other things) and indicates a clean lifestyle (which is a plus for government jobs or so I've heard). Oh - and he was applying outside the 'Mormon Corridor'
  6. Manners Matter

    Family and the new firearm prohibition

    Sorry you're faced with this. My thoughts in no particular order: - the odds are slim - obedience brings blessings (study scriptures, talks that reiterate this) - get a copy of "The Cokeville Miracle" and watch it - if Samuel the Lamanite can be protected from arrows aimed right at him, your family can be protected, too - read Holland's talk about angels (Oct 08 conference) - "let your faith be bigger than your fear" (post this in your home) - maybe this is just another way leaders are asking the members to increase their faith - for all we know, leaders will quietly ask certain (trained) individuals to carry but this is a more organized approach of handling things in these last days - if a person's mission in life isn't done yet, you'll be spared - if something does happen and your family is affected, there's important work being done on the other side of the veil - stop watching/reading the news (having faith and peace is easier this way) - if the above doesn't help, I'd rather ignore policy than commandments (take sacrament regularly) {hugs}
  7. Manners Matter

    A question about temple marriage

    First, welcome to the forum. You need to come clean about everything. The sooner, the better. It's the right thing to do. Oh, and find a way to get yourself and your son to church and make it a habit.
  8. Manners Matter

    Why doesn't the LDS church run any parenting courses ?

    Scroll down to 'family life' - https://is.byu.edu/catalog/free-courses As an aside - check your library for "The Child Whisperer" by Carol Tuttle. There's also a blog and podcasts (https://cw.liveyourtruth.com/podcast/).
  9. Manners Matter

    Topics for Ministering Letters?

    I send letters to inactive sisters and have run out of topic ideas for a spiritual message. I have no idea why they don't come, what their situations are, how long they've been members or how long they've been inactive. So what topics/themes would you suggest or have received and appreciated? Thanks!
  10. Manners Matter

    Assistance with a talk

    To me, every talk should reference Christ so I would start with unity in the Godhead and then touch on unity in the ward family (support ea other in trials, callings, etc) and then end with unity in our own families. And no, it's not 'too late' for them - they can start to encourage forgiveness, family get-togethers, traditions, common interests, regular phone calls, etc. Maybe also bring up how our family members on the other side of the veil are united in helping us come unto Christ (this would circle back to the beginning of the talk and wrap it up nicely). Hope this helps and that your talk goes well.
  11. Oh, one other thing to keep in mind is that 'silence indicates acceptance'.
  12. If someone leaves the Church because you stood for what's right, that's totally on them so I'd call out every single one of 'em. It could be that other women are thinking the same thing but not speaking up but will once someone else does. If this happens enough, maybe these guys creeps will get the message. Furthermore, other decent guys might appreciate your guts/candor and might be interested because of it. With that said - some options for responses: - Let Church leaders do the talking for you. Find some quotes about dating before things are final and post them as needed. - You could say something along the lines of: Not only am I not interested in being a rebound girl, we obviously have very different standards as I don't believe in cheating. If you want a decent woman, you need to be a decent man so I suggest you delete your profile asap and come back here only after the ink has been dry for at least 6 months AND you've made a comprehensive list of what *you* did/didn't do that led to your failed marriage AND have started making changes to prevent it from happening again. Bye!
  13. Manners Matter

    I am not sure what to do

    Chiming in again because a couple more things came to mind (and your response confirms the need to share this). - You need to adjust your expectations. He's shown you what his strengths are (and what they're not) so expecting something else will only lead to frustration and disappointment. - Gratitude! Think it and share it - this will help shift your focus. - Happiness is a *choice*.
  14. Manners Matter

    I am not sure what to do

    "What you feed, grows". If you keep focusing on your discontent, guess what will happen? Aside from reading the book suggested above (check your library), also read "It's Just My Nature" by Carol Tuttle. You may also want to consider: - for gifts, set up an amazon cart or something and he can choose from that - sit down with him and come up with dates you would enjoy, then you make it happen (it's time to throw out 'the guy should set it up' idea - it's not working in your relationship) - google 'get to know you questions' and fill them out so he can know you better (focus on the solution - not everything needs to be complicated or his job - make it easy for him) That's it for now but I'll chime back in if more comes to mind. Hope this helps and welcome to the forum.
  15. Manners Matter

    Different Revelation

    I'm sorry you're going through this but am glad you're doing better. To me, the 'revelation' he's getting is the mental illness speaking. To help with the mental illness, I've seen an ad on LDS Living for something that has helped people. (can't remember what it's called right now - maybe someone else here knows) At any rate, look into all the options to help with the mental illness. That's it for now but will chime back in if more comes to mind. Hang in there and have faith. {hugs}