It brings me much shame to tell this story, but here I am ...
i have grown up in the gospel and always lived it with as much exactness as I can. I’ve been a leader in all my priesthood quorems and serving a mission has always been a goal. I reached the age of 18 this year and submitted my papers excited to serve. I was called to leave August 14th, so next week. Ive has a girlfriend for about a year and she’s always been super supportive of my mission as she’s a strong member as well. About 4 weeks ago we slipped up big time and broke the law of chastity.. we engaged in intercourse. At the moment I felt like I didn’t even understand what was happening and I felt powerless to stop it. It only gets worse tho as I allowed myself to engage in it again. The next day was my temple day and I still went through and got endowed because I was too scared to speak up about my sins. It gets even worse because I slipped up with my girlfriend and broke the law of chastity a third time a day after visiting the temple
after that day I immediely broke up with my girlfriend. I was a missionary with a mission call and the things that we had allowed to happen were terrible. It felt like reality finally hit me and I finally understood what I had done and how terrible it was. I’ve lived in denial the last 3 weeks trying to convince myself that I can still leave for my mission next week and just “forget about my sin” and then repent when I get back. I know that will not work though. My farewell is supposed to be in 3 days and I have a meeting with my bishop tonight. I have the opportunity to tell him everything I’ve done, but I know this will ruin my whole mission and I won’t be allowed to go. I need advice about what to do? And possibly encouragement. My whole family is very strong in the church and I will disappoint hundreds of people by bailing on my mission 6 days before I report
