I am in desperate need of advice and guidance. My husband and I have been married a little over two years. Last night he told me that two nights prior he had gotten drunk and ended up sleeping with a woman he knows. He seems sincerely remorseful and wants to repair our marriage. I don't want a divorce either, but I feel like my world has just crumbled. This was not an ongoing affair, it was a one night stand, but it happened all the same. For the past 12 hours I've cycled between hurt, anger, betrayal, defeat, loneliness, desperation, disbelief, denial, and just hollowness. I don't know where to go from here and I don't know what we do next. I've never known anyone personally to have affairs within the church, so I feel so lost. Clearly we need therapy, but we cannot afford it because he's a full time college student and I'm a teacher. Before he went through the temple, he drank and for awhile after he stopped. Then he began drinking a beer every now and again, always justifying it and saying it wasn't the same as drinking "real" alcohol. Then the other night, he decided to do shots with his buddies as well and got drunk, which hasn't happened in years, and which led to the one night stand. He's scared, but he wants to go through the repentance process. Here are some questions I have that hopefully someone can help me with:
1. Is he going to be ex-communicated? This wasn't a pre-meditated thing and he was drunk. He is really scared, but wants to go through the repentance process. Is he going to have to leave the church? If he is ex-communicated, what is that like? What happens? How soon can he come back to church?
2. Who do I talk to for support? I don't want any of our family or friends to know because I'm so ashamed and I don't want any more hearts to break. But I feel so alone and I need help too. Do I talk to the bishop too? Who can I trust to talk about this?
3. What happens now? I feel so lost and in a fog. I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. How do we make it through this?
I think one of the worst parts about this is I feel so alone. I need help.
