LatterDSaint

Trump has a good chance to win and Biden too so let's wait and see. Having said that, it is really sad (in a bad way) to read/hear about "cheating" and "fraud" just because Trump isn't doing well in some states. On Twitter, he is behaving and ranting like a spoiled child right now, just because he isn't getting his way.
I think we all know that if those mail-in ballots were benefiting him, he would praise the entire process as "transparent" and "tremendous" . Nuff said.

Here is my opinion 
“Never do anything that could lead to sexual transgression. Treat others with respect, not as objects used to satisfy lustful and selfish desires. Before marriage, do not participate in passionate kissing”
- For the Strength of Youth
 
“The For the Strength of Youth pamphlet contains standards that, when followed carefully, will bring rich blessings and help us stay on the covenant path. Although it was written for the benefit of the youth, its standards do not expire when we leave the Young Men and Young Women programs. They apply to each of us all the time. A review of these standards may prompt other ways we can be more careful in our gospel living.”
- Becky Craven, General Conference 2019

On a whim I traveled from Reddit to MormonHub just to get a more relative perspective for various topics I was reading about and it appears that this thread I created over half a year ago gained quite a bit of attention. 
I save my login and passwords for everything so I had no trouble accessing my account again. The replies here are really thought provoking and interesting so much appreciated. As a brief update I did end things with my ex girlfriend. Which was almost 7 months ago. I found the situation to be impossible to move past. I was never going to feel comfortable with any level of friendship she had with the other guy especially considering the circumstances of the proximity they would have. It was the toughest thing I have ever had to do and it took me a long while to do so after a lot of helpful advice from my own friends and family to finally end it. But I thank the Lord I did. I may have been fully committed but my ex unfortunately couldn't be. With everything said and done I am content with life and moving forward with the direction the Lord wants me to go. 
I still yearn almost to be in another relationship because of the intense happiness that is felt being able to open yourself up to another person in the way I did, but this longing is conditional on being in a relationship where our boundaries are compatible hence why I must take my time and be patient. I pray you are all well and are blessed till the end of days. 

On a whim I traveled from Reddit to MormonHub just to get a more relative perspective for various topics I was reading about and it appears that this thread I created over half a year ago gained quite a bit of attention. 
I save my login and passwords for everything so I had no trouble accessing my account again. The replies here are really thought provoking and interesting so much appreciated. As a brief update I did end things with my ex girlfriend. Which was almost 7 months ago. I found the situation to be impossible to move past. I was never going to feel comfortable with any level of friendship she had with the other guy especially considering the circumstances of the proximity they would have. It was the toughest thing I have ever had to do and it took me a long while to do so after a lot of helpful advice from my own friends and family to finally end it. But I thank the Lord I did. I may have been fully committed but my ex unfortunately couldn't be. With everything said and done I am content with life and moving forward with the direction the Lord wants me to go. 
I still yearn almost to be in another relationship because of the intense happiness that is felt being able to open yourself up to another person in the way I did, but this longing is conditional on being in a relationship where our boundaries are compatible hence why I must take my time and be patient. I pray you are all well and are blessed till the end of days. 

On a whim I traveled from Reddit to MormonHub just to get a more relative perspective for various topics I was reading about and it appears that this thread I created over half a year ago gained quite a bit of attention. 
I save my login and passwords for everything so I had no trouble accessing my account again. The replies here are really thought provoking and interesting so much appreciated. As a brief update I did end things with my ex girlfriend. Which was almost 7 months ago. I found the situation to be impossible to move past. I was never going to feel comfortable with any level of friendship she had with the other guy especially considering the circumstances of the proximity they would have. It was the toughest thing I have ever had to do and it took me a long while to do so after a lot of helpful advice from my own friends and family to finally end it. But I thank the Lord I did. I may have been fully committed but my ex unfortunately couldn't be. With everything said and done I am content with life and moving forward with the direction the Lord wants me to go. 
I still yearn almost to be in another relationship because of the intense happiness that is felt being able to open yourself up to another person in the way I did, but this longing is conditional on being in a relationship where our boundaries are compatible hence why I must take my time and be patient. I pray you are all well and are blessed till the end of days. 

On a whim I traveled from Reddit to MormonHub just to get a more relative perspective for various topics I was reading about and it appears that this thread I created over half a year ago gained quite a bit of attention. 
I save my login and passwords for everything so I had no trouble accessing my account again. The replies here are really thought provoking and interesting so much appreciated. As a brief update I did end things with my ex girlfriend. Which was almost 7 months ago. I found the situation to be impossible to move past. I was never going to feel comfortable with any level of friendship she had with the other guy especially considering the circumstances of the proximity they would have. It was the toughest thing I have ever had to do and it took me a long while to do so after a lot of helpful advice from my own friends and family to finally end it. But I thank the Lord I did. I may have been fully committed but my ex unfortunately couldn't be. With everything said and done I am content with life and moving forward with the direction the Lord wants me to go. 
I still yearn almost to be in another relationship because of the intense happiness that is felt being able to open yourself up to another person in the way I did, but this longing is conditional on being in a relationship where our boundaries are compatible hence why I must take my time and be patient. I pray you are all well and are blessed till the end of days. 

Actually, you never know . . .the bishop might just give the non-widowed sister a new calling, something like compassionate service leader or the like and then part of her church responsibility would be the care of the widows.
Besides the youth, one of the main responsibilities of Bishops to care for their flock, especially the poor, sick, the needy, the widows.
Jame 1:27
Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.

Satan wants you to be scared.  God wants you to be clean.  Trust God.  Go see the bishop.

I gave my girlfriend a back massage yesterday after I read your post which but at the time I guess I forgot about it since she knocked out 4 hours of study and she deserved the massage, so as I see it, there isnt any resentment lingering from the ordeal getting rehashed again haha
LOL I tend to want to get deeper and deeper into topics I discuss with my girlfriend which I think are important and there are times where she is very resistant to go further because she gets mentally worn out before me after a while of our prolonged back and forths hahahaha

@LatterDSaint I'm really glad things are working out for you!  😊
And yeah I tend to analyze things heavily, much to the annoyance of my wife.  It's part of the "Deluxe Special Edition SE Introverted Brain" package.  I hope that hasn't brought you any of the resentment you were concerned about.  

This is an amazing analysis of the situation. The detail and analysis based on how I described it blows my mind. I did log on just now cause I havent been here for a while and was curious if any new comments on this thread came up, but mind you  I have tried to close/ delete this thread a while back because rehashing it all again could make me resent my girlfriend somewhat because of what happened. 
I really do like this site so I will share a bit more details on what has happened since. 
To start off, my girlfriend has absolutely gained back my trust. I trust her more than anyone else second to our Savior Jesus Christ. 
The fact of the matter is that her "best friend" who I had a conversation with now appears to be her "friend" nowadays perhaps due to his acknowledgement of what my girlfriend means to me after our civil conversation and also perhaps due to a situation that happened recently. 
Obviously after what had happened things were a little rocky but she recognized the mistake she made that night and I believe my girlfriend when she promised that she wont put me in a position that made me feel the way I did again. 
Now onto what happened recently. Me and my girlfriend often have dinner together and the girl I went out with once while we were split works near where we eat. My girlfriend and I both passed her and me and this girl waved to each other. Following this, me and my girlfriend were about to head into the dinning hall to eat but I doubled back and firmly asked my girlfriend "Can we say hi to (girl I went out with once)?" and my girlfriend gave a slight nod of approval. Unbeknownst to me, it was extremely awkward for my girlfriend even as my arm was around her while I was talking to (girl I went out with once). After a minute of talking I said bye to this girl and me and my girlfriend sat down to eat. My girlfriend mentioned that she did feel uncomfortable but said that "I can be friends with her" since friendships are valuable to her for reasons I wont discuss here.
Later on that day, me and my girlfriend were hanging out and I mentioned how her "bestfriend" reminds me of a guy I am familiar with but not friends with. I mentioned this guy I am familiar with before to my girlfriend and mentioned how I wouldnt want her hanging around that type of person because he is a flirt and doesnt seem interested in a serious relationship which is similar to my girlfriend's friend (who is on her team btw) from my perspective. After my comment, my girlfriend opened up about how what happened earlier had been weighing on her mind, and through discussion between her and I, which led to emotions, I recognized how what I did made her uncomfortable. At the time, I hadn't contacted this girl since I got back together with my girlfriend (about three weeks before), apart from accepting her friend request (at the approval of my gf) and I also want my girlfriend to meet her and I also felt that a wave to this girl wasnt the most respectful act I could have shown hence why I wanted to say hi, but I fully recognize how this was not appropriate with or without my girlfriend being there. I too was very apologetic because my girlfriend helped me understand that I took away from our time to have dinner, to "touch base" with this girl who I was obviously interested in the period before me and my gf got back together. Even through this, my girlfriend made a point where she recognized how her friendship with this guy on her team will always make me slightly uncomfortable and how she experienced a similar type of "betrayal" I must have felt back then, so whilst it was not a premeditated act of revenge by me, I think my girlfriend fully understands the reality of making each other uncomfortable especially when it comes to how we behave around people of the opposite sex where there is some historic connection no matter how innocent or platonic it may appear.
Perhaps she and I should make a pact that anytime either of us say the line "he/she is just a friend (who is single)" we should end that friendship immediately lol. Her guy friend is on her team so I am well aware that a friendly relationship between them is inevitable given their emotional (non physical) history, so its something I have gotten used to. I know she loves me and respects our relationship, hence why I love her and trust her. 
 

I don't think so. Based on what the OP wrote, her fiancé's reaction seems pretty appropriate to a mid-20s college student, and frankly much better than many that age would have done.
Here's a possible scenario playing out in fiancé's mind:
OP: I think we should stop kissing each other for three weeks.
Fiancé: What the...?
OP: Well, okay, how about two weeks?
Fiancé (looking into the future and wondering) :  What about when we're married, and she says, 'Hey, how about no sex for three weeks?'
Fiancé (voicing his thoughts) : That sounds like a pretty bad idea to me.
OP: What's wrong with you? Is that all I am to you -- a pair of lips? This is a GREAT idea!
I don't blame the OP, but I'm going to be slow to condemn her fiancé. In his position, I might be pretty unhappy, too.

So a guy who was chaste before marriage and possibly rushed into marriage specifically for the sex, now has zero physical interest in his wife and stays up late at night, alone, on the computer?
There’s a lot that this *could* be; one possibility being a long-standing porn issue.

This is an amazing analysis of the situation. The detail and analysis based on how I described it blows my mind. I did log on just now cause I havent been here for a while and was curious if any new comments on this thread came up, but mind you  I have tried to close/ delete this thread a while back because rehashing it all again could make me resent my girlfriend somewhat because of what happened. 
I really do like this site so I will share a bit more details on what has happened since. 
To start off, my girlfriend has absolutely gained back my trust. I trust her more than anyone else second to our Savior Jesus Christ. 
The fact of the matter is that her "best friend" who I had a conversation with now appears to be her "friend" nowadays perhaps due to his acknowledgement of what my girlfriend means to me after our civil conversation and also perhaps due to a situation that happened recently. 
Obviously after what had happened things were a little rocky but she recognized the mistake she made that night and I believe my girlfriend when she promised that she wont put me in a position that made me feel the way I did again. 
Now onto what happened recently. Me and my girlfriend often have dinner together and the girl I went out with once while we were split works near where we eat. My girlfriend and I both passed her and me and this girl waved to each other. Following this, me and my girlfriend were about to head into the dinning hall to eat but I doubled back and firmly asked my girlfriend "Can we say hi to (girl I went out with once)?" and my girlfriend gave a slight nod of approval. Unbeknownst to me, it was extremely awkward for my girlfriend even as my arm was around her while I was talking to (girl I went out with once). After a minute of talking I said bye to this girl and me and my girlfriend sat down to eat. My girlfriend mentioned that she did feel uncomfortable but said that "I can be friends with her" since friendships are valuable to her for reasons I wont discuss here.
Later on that day, me and my girlfriend were hanging out and I mentioned how her "bestfriend" reminds me of a guy I am familiar with but not friends with. I mentioned this guy I am familiar with before to my girlfriend and mentioned how I wouldnt want her hanging around that type of person because he is a flirt and doesnt seem interested in a serious relationship which is similar to my girlfriend's friend (who is on her team btw) from my perspective. After my comment, my girlfriend opened up about how what happened earlier had been weighing on her mind, and through discussion between her and I, which led to emotions, I recognized how what I did made her uncomfortable. At the time, I hadn't contacted this girl since I got back together with my girlfriend (about three weeks before), apart from accepting her friend request (at the approval of my gf) and I also want my girlfriend to meet her and I also felt that a wave to this girl wasnt the most respectful act I could have shown hence why I wanted to say hi, but I fully recognize how this was not appropriate with or without my girlfriend being there. I too was very apologetic because my girlfriend helped me understand that I took away from our time to have dinner, to "touch base" with this girl who I was obviously interested in the period before me and my gf got back together. Even through this, my girlfriend made a point where she recognized how her friendship with this guy on her team will always make me slightly uncomfortable and how she experienced a similar type of "betrayal" I must have felt back then, so whilst it was not a premeditated act of revenge by me, I think my girlfriend fully understands the reality of making each other uncomfortable especially when it comes to how we behave around people of the opposite sex where there is some historic connection no matter how innocent or platonic it may appear.
Perhaps she and I should make a pact that anytime either of us say the line "he/she is just a friend (who is single)" we should end that friendship immediately lol. Her guy friend is on her team so I am well aware that a friendly relationship between them is inevitable given their emotional (non physical) history, so its something I have gotten used to. I know she loves me and respects our relationship, hence why I love her and trust her. 
 

*sigh* I can see this discussion is probably over but these two pennies in my skull are gonna rattle around mercilessly until I shake them out via this post.
The girlfriend was in the wrong.  Solidly.
Consider the following red flags:
She met the 'best friend' at a time when she was technically single.  That means he saw her that way too.  The chances that a young, healthy male was looking for a platonic best friend in a single female are... not very good.   She finds him attractive. She got new clothes for the purpose of wearing while spending time with him.  Don't believe that?  She was with the boyfriend right up until 7 minutes before the 'best friend' picked her up.   That means she rushed to change into those pants rather than just stay with what she was already wearing… or she put them on after they got back to her place.   They went off to a private location to spend time alone together, rather than say "oops, practice isn't tonight after all" and call it off.  They could have gone anywhere... A café, a library, for a walk around campus.  They went to her home.   She did not invite the boyfriend to join them, and appears to have contacted him only after 'best friend' was gone. She admits she has feelings for this 'best friend'  In light of this fact ALONE I would be terribly concerned about her motives in all this, even if she isn't necessarily fully conscious of them.   So you have here a girl who had feelings for another boy whom she met while single, finds attractive, had admitted having feelings for, is reluctant to distance herself from, and arguably met with him under false pretenses.  (They went to her house because the guy was hungry?  That's the flimsiest excuse I ever heard.  Go to McDonald's.)
Bonus question:  Could this boy have been a factor in her deciding against a mission after all?  Had they met before or after she changed her mind?
When my wife and I met she was in the "you can totally have a best friend of the opposite sex platonically" camp.  I disagreed.  She found that very troubling until an incident where one of her friends cheated on a boyfriend with a guy she was supposedly "best friends" with.  For me, that's a deal breaker.  Hard stop.  
My wife has male friends and I have female friends.  However:
I am absolutely never alone with any female who isn't family She is absolutely never alone with any male who isn't family These rules not only severely limit opportunities to stray, they also nicely prevent any ugly rumors from getting started.  That rule has only been broken once in our 11+ year marriage, and that was when one of my female friends gave me a lift to pick my car up from the shop.  It was a last resort and nothing happened of course, but I still felt like it was a betrayal of my philosophy on this.
Maybe it's possible to have a best friend of the opposite sex, and a few people out there even pull it off.  A couple folks in this thread say they have that successfully and I won't doubt their word.  As a general rule though?  Nope.  Especially not when there's an attraction or *any* amount of romantic feelings on the table, even if they haven't yet been acted upon.  
"Sweetheart, I care about you, I trust you, I respect you... but I just can't make myself comfortable with this best friend.  I appreciate that you've admitted having had some feelings for him and that you find him attractive, and I am also glad that you chose me...  But I'm just not comfortable on this one.  I am not looking to control you, or dictate who your friends are, but I hope you can understand why this case is unusual.  Remember that girl I dated once while we were broken up?  How would you feel if I wanted to keep her around as a best friend, spent time alone with her and admitted having romantic feelings for her?  I'm sure that would weigh on your mind.  That's why I've been careful not to hang on to any such relationships.  So as much as I hate to ask this of you, please let him know that you value his friendship but that it's better to put a little distance between you."
Her reaction to that will tell you everything you need to know.
Now, it seems she's already decided to put aside these male friends, but if they start working their way back into the picture in any significant way... I'd be done.  I think it is fair for her to have to regain his trust.  Entirely fair.  

I know a couple here at work (members of the Church) who decided they were done with kids.  She had her tubes tied.  She got pregnant in the past year.  Last I heard, he was thinking of having a vasectomy.  I'm thinking if God wants to overrule your birth control method, ain't nothin' you can do about it.

Jane, you are putting words in my mouth. This is not the issue I had and she is not disqualified from doing this. I was upset that I had no idea she was hanging out with this male friend of hers who is attractive until after they spent their time together...
 
THat isnt what I meant and I'm really curious, would you be okay if your husband said he was somewhere and actually arranged for one of his friends who is a girl to take him there, and then later he told you that where he said he was going to be wasnt actually scheduled for that time and hung out with his friend for over an hour instead? Wouldnt you have preffered to have been notified that he was doing something else instead of what you had assumed he was going to do based on prior discussion?

When somebody acts like they are violating your trust it isn't wrong to suspect they might be violating your trust.  That is just situational awareness. Better that than being swept away in a flood or hormones and missing a bunch of red flags until it is too late.

She must not be Italian.

None of this goes just one way.  Men and women can be jealous.  Men and women can be insecure.  Men and women can lack in trust.  Men and women can be controlling.  
All people, male and female, have weakness that need to be overcome with Christ's help.

Some folks get a huge kick out of tightrope walking, chainsaw juggling, wingsuit death-defying jumps, etc.  All of my insides would swiftly be outside of me if I tried any of that.  I guess there are people who can manage it, but those people are not me.

So, two days ago, I went to see Bohemian Rhapsody with my husband of 20 years on my left and my male best friend of 22 years on my right.
And that's all I have to say about that.

I don't have hard statistics, but my inclination is to say, no, Mormons aren't a whole let better about it than the general population. You might find a noticeable difference among Mormons who are sealed, but I wouldn't put too much weight on that difference.
In the social circles I have been a part of in my adult life, I can recall two cases of infidelity.  Both were in LDS couples. The vast majority of people in my social circle are not LDS. But again, this isn't evidence that Mormons are more prone to divorce. When you look at the circumstances, in one couple, one of the partners was pressured into marriage so that the other partner wouldn't leave when they wanted to return to church.  The circumstances weren't ideal. In the other instance, the unfaithful partner had been subject to about 15 years of emotional abuse at the hands of the spouse. I suspect the infidelity itself may have been emotionally manipulated. Again, not ideal circumstances.
Ultimately, what you have to recognize is that infidelity is not the norm. Over exposing yourself to the minority has distorted your belief in the overall risk.  Find a partner that is committed to the same values and goals you are, treat them with respect and dignity, and make the choice that you will not engage in inappropriate extramarital relations.

I've become deeply concerned that I'm going to die in an earthquake because of reading about all these earthquake deaths which I will now post for everyone else to read and join me in my paranoia. 
Link
Link
Linn
 
P.S. I love you all dearly. Mwa ha ha.

And this seemed like a good idea to you at the time?