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It was also suggested that some might want to form their own informal study groups. Do you attend a singles ward? Seems like the singles wards will probably start creating small home study groups.

I have a hard time with the celestial Kingdom - as a convert, I am not "sealed" to my family (parents, grandparents, etc.) and I do not feel like I am "sealed" to my spouse even though we did get married in a temple (lies, not worthy for anything). I do not like the idea of a hierarchy - seems like eternally segregating people into who is better than who is not such a great thing. Given an eternity to progress, I have to have hope that everyone will come to love everyone. If I could imagine the perfect marriage, it would not include polygamy. I would rather be eternally single than participate in polygamy. ... kind of hard to want to be active when the point of it all - "together forever" is not possible for me with the people I love.

It seems many people make it work. Here is a scenario... you are married to an addict who after years and years cannot stop. You cannot change them. Do you: get a divorce, or learn to live with it and join the party?

Luke 3:38 Which was the son of Enos, which was the son of Seth, which was the son of Adam, which was the son of God.... If Adam was born the same way Jesus was, Jesus would not be the "only" begotten.

Funny thing that porn does to some guys...https://markmanson.net/pornography-can-ruin-your-sex-life ... I did not know what was causing his impotence until much later. He was very good at hiding his addiction. Trust/forgive → that does not end an addiction.... it enables it. Healthy boundaries, ability to enforce consequences - that is what is necessary. I can love him as a friend, as a person - but not as a husband.

you left out: 4.) Abusive parents now invite themselves into the interview denying children the ability to seek help. 5.) children feel pressured to uphold established culture norms, and do not feel comfortable asking for another person to come into the room with them.

Moses 1:35 .... For behold, there are many worlds that have passed away by the word of my power. And there are many that now stand, Adam and Eve brought a new era to an old world in my opinion...

So.... Jesus was not the "only" begotten son?

walk a mile in another's shoes...

You said "darned well better not be blabbing to his wife about what he hears" Sounded like you do not hold a bishop's wife in very high esteem? That married couples should not council together, should not try to help people together? Sounded like you were ok to opening up about your problems to the bishop, but would not be comfortable opening up to the bishop's wife about your problems?

You... a male... would be uncomfortable sitting along in a room with your bishop's wife - just as I, as a female, would feel uncomfortable sitting in a room with another married man all alone... The same way you feel about talking with a girl, I feel with talking to a guy...

I guess I am new here - am a struggling member, and am struggling because a high priest abused his position of authority (this HP is now in jail). Judas was an apostle - apostles and priests are not perfect... it is ok not to expect them to walk on water... better not to expect too much of them it seems.... When I talk to someone who is married, I let them know that I treat it as talking with both people in the marriage - I would never want anything I say or share to be a wedge between two people who are married. I view them as one flesh, united in heart and in mind, and treat married people in a way that attempts to strengthen their marriage. I feel very uncomfortable talking to anyone of the opposite sex, alone in a room - it feels just feels very wrong to me.... you are supposed to be close to your own spouse, not close to other people's spouses.... just coming from a few... painful experiences...

I am aware of, and am thankful for the new changes to both youth interviews, and requiring two-deep policies within classrooms. Those changes were sorely needed. When one-on-one interview policies are the established norm, a little kid will not feel very comfortable asking another adult to be in the room though... I can see where parents in the room might pose a problem - the new policy unfortunately opens the door for abusive parents to invite themselves into the interview further complicating the situation... The best thing - just my opinion - would be for a healthy married couple, a male and female, to be in there as an example of loving parents - helping those who need help together.... It would strengthen the marriage of those who serve in leadership positions, would drive home the point of what a marriage is supposed to be, would provide both the male and female perspective, would honor women in their roles... Not getting my hopes up... again, this is just a "what do you hope" thread...

You do not believe couples are "equally yoked", do not believe they are "of one flesh and one heart"?? you think a church calling should come between a husband a wife, that wives and husbands should have "secrets" from one another, should not share everything with one another? does not sound like a very healthy definition of marriage to me... I would not trust a leader who is in such a marriage.

There is a good healthy way, and a not so safe and healthy way, to be there for kids... Everyone wants to protect both kids from abuse, and leaders from false accusations... there is an easy way to do this. Nothing wrong with having more than one male and one little girl in a room all alone together. This is a "wishful thinking" thread... so, wishful thinking... The wives of bishopric members will now accompany their husbands for all interviews... ← wouldn't that be great? To allow those who serve to serve with their spouse? It is not just kids - A married man alone in a room with someone else's wife - it is not good for emotional intimacy to happen in this sort of a scenario...

I'm going through "SafeColleges" training right now. Among undergraduates, 23.1 percent of females and 5.4 percent of males experiences rape or sexual assault through physical force, violence or incapacitation. 21% of transgender, gender queer and nonconforming (TGQN) college students have been sexually assaulted, compared with 18% of non-TGQN females and 4% of non-TGQN males. Only 20% of female students age 18-24 who have experienced sexual violence make a report to law enforcement About one in six college-age female survivors received assistance from a victim services agency. Abuse is a HUGE problem. That is great to talk to abusers - encourage repentance. Care and help for those who are victims needs to be addressed in real, tangible ways - with counseling services, support groups... victims are not getting the help they need.

Brother Benevolence: “A specific promise of protection and revelation for those who strive to repent and keep their covenants.” "Protection" is not something any Christian should hope for or depend on... consider how 11 of the 12 original apostles died... after a few bad experiences I no longer expect protection... keep the commandments, read scriptures, say prayers, go to the temple and you will be???_________ the only thing to count on is perhaps you will have better character... you will not be protected. To promise protection to anyone is walking on dangerous grounds and can increase pain when trials come. Sister Stalwart: “Further light and knowledge about how to minister effectively to our sisters and brothers, both in our families and among others.” Brother Believing: “Instructions on what it really means to love as the Savior loves and how we can actually do that today, right now.” It would be great to have some new service-projects - announce that the church will now run half-way homes, will start opening up women and children shelters, will increase humanitarian programs through the world, will open up and fund medical clinics etc. etc. What I would love to hear: New policies protecting children and others from abuse - avoiding even the "appearance of evil" when it comes to interview policies and practices. New support groups organised for abuse victims, support groups for those going through divorce or other life events, support groups for those with health issues New Sunday school group - not gospel doctrine, not gospel essentials... how about a faith-crisis, or faith transition lesson - a place for those who have doubts? It would be really really great if the church would make room for those who are not "all-in", a place for those who are struggling and need help, a place that is accepting of those with everything from LGBT to abuse and other addictions to faith questions (agnostics, etc.) ... I do not want to get my hopes up though...

Interesting trend on who is claiming to be victims...

Sorry for the late reply (working mom here) Emotional intimacy requires honesty. If two people agree that porn is fine for the marriage, watch it together, are open and honest about it - great, no problem. Religious population vs. non-religious... In the absence of a shame-culture where everyone can talk openly about anything, it seems not to be a problem. When a "high priest" lies about it, lies through every covenant he makes, lies through every interview he has been in - dishonesty is the biggest problem. Dishonesty = no emotional intimacy. We also had a "sexless marriage" because of porn. We were not close - either physically or emotionally, because of porn. That is NOT love, that is not a marriage.

My dad grew up Catholic - he will not go to any church now...

Thanks so much for the replies. It is good to have someone to talk to. I am broken, but you are right - if contrite means repentant, I am not feeling contrite. Everyone is human, I am not perfect - I do take caffeine pills (but do not drink coffee), I turned in my temple recommend and stopped wearing garments (could not longer support any priesthood leaders, and now associate Joseph Smith and early church polygamy with this stuff, so am having a hard time with the the restoration... did God really abandon the world for hundreds of years? is there really only one small chosen people? how is that loving?) I do not have faith or trust in anything... what to have hope in? I hope there is a loving God, I hope all tears will be wiped away, I hope all of these experiences refine - rather than grind to dust... I hope as a convert I can be with my parents, and grandparents, and everyone from my family together forever - so I guess I hope there are not different degrees of glory, I hope everyone repents and learns what they need in order to be together... I hope God has given us all the correct experiences to refine and not harden us? ... If all I can do right now is hope for something, what should I hope for? Anger - anger at the natural laws - I am turning this into anger, not at addicted brethren, but at the natural laws that took over these brethren. Anger that these issues persisted for so many years without help. I wanted the church to solve these problems and to be led by God - do callings really come from God? because these brethren had callings they should not have had.... anger for kids who were not protected from harm... I am not sure how not to be angry for kids who have been hurt? I would love to not be angry. I should have divorced him. I was told to "forgive" though, and I was scared of losing kids in a custody battle (he makes more $ than I do, and would be able to get a better lawyer). Now I am living with... "once an addict always an addict" so just deal with it? Redefine my morals and say "it's no big deal" to it? or I could pretend that he is "all better" because he is pretty good at hiding things? I can "hope" for recovery? My RS president actually does know me - she lives right around the corner. She does not have any experience with this stuff though - neither does my bishop. I met with him 2ce - once to turn in my temple recommend, and another time when he tried to give it back, and I did not take it. (Tried to give my husband his, and my husband did not take his back either.) .... the stuff with the other brother who is now in jail, it is really really bad ... people are just... scared of us now. I don't want to kill the spirit in meetings - in sacrament you are not expected to say anything, but I do not want to take the sacrament while I am ... angry... and the other meetings, where I might be asked a question, or asked to participate - and might blurt out something that would kill the spirit... I have not gone for a long time because I am afraid of killing the spirit for everyone else. I wish there was a meeting for those who are ... struggling, and in-between, where people could ask faith-crisis questions rather than just meetings for those who are "all-in".

This is coming from someone who is currently "married" to a porn addict - not really a marriage - I view my husband as a room-mate, not as a spouse, because he broke his covenants with me. How many years were spent "cheating"? That might be the number of years it takes to heal. Take a walk in her shoes - for me, my entire marriage was a lie. I did not understand why my husband did not love me, did not want me, ignored me - was never emotionally intimate with me, rejected me even though I exercised and kept myself thin etc. etc. . Kids and covenants kept me in the marriage - trying not to let other family members down - stayed married to "look good" to others, it was always a marriage in name only - I never felt close to him even though I tried. I found ways to cope, learned to live "alone", learned to just be polite rather than hoping for ever being or feeling like anyone's wife. After years and years living with porn, I redefined myself, became my own individual who did not need support or love or anything from him any more. He does do a little for the kids, helps provide (I work full time too as I cannot trust him to support or protect anyone.). I calculated what divorce would turn into - who would win the custody battles etc. and it is just easier to stay married and treat him as a room mate, treat him as a friend. We are fairly good friends, are polite to one another etc. but it is not a marriage. I do not wear my wedding ring. I have forgiven him, but I do not trust him. I am my own person now. I have had to redefine myself. Not sure if it is similar in your case, but change is not going to come over night. You cannot learn to play the piano over night. You cannot become an Olympic athlete over night. Someone who has spent a lifetime defining a relationship - establishing character / trust ...? To know the darkness of being rejected - that is what porn makes a spouse feel - rejected, cheated on, lied to, hollow and worthless - I felt this way for years. YEARS. before I redefined myself. That does not turn around over night.

Hello, quick intro - I converted to the LDS church around 20 years ago, was TBM for 18 years (callings, went to temple regularly, the whole 9 yards), then went inactive 2 years ago when my marriage fell apart (he had a porn addiction), then more support fell apart (another high priest who is now in jail for the rest of their life)... so I have lost faith in the priesthood. I have achieved "broken heart and contrite spirit" status, but have also grown angry and am now starting over from square one. Do you think there is a place in the church for someone who has a really hard time trusting any priesthood leaders? I might be better off stepping away from everything and having an entirely new start to it all?

It is never too late to return. If we might ask, why did you go inactive in the first place - just career kept you busy?