dprh

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  1. Haha
    dprh reacted to Vort in BYU Honor Code changes   
    Not sure if there are non-human-being exceptions for gators.
  2. Haha
    dprh reacted to Just_A_Guy in BYU Honor Code changes   
    That wasn’t my experience, MG.  For me there wasn’t really an element of fear, because I knew I was being a good boy and I was less concerned about notions like “procedural due process” than I am now.  And I didn’t see people going about looking for breaches. 
    Although—and I never thought much about this at the time—but when Just_A_Girl and I were dating, we would often talk in her apartment until midnight (at which time I, being a male, had to leave the apartment); and then we’d move into the hallway outside the apartment and talk for another hour or two.  I remember one night, sitting in the hallway chatting, and around 12:30 the door of the apartment across the hall opened just a crack and swiftly shut again.  This happened again and again, probably, every five or ten minutes for the next hour.  At length the door opened completely, and the female resident emerged and asked if we were “hall monitors”.  We, of course, denied this (I had never heard of such a thing at BYU).  Eventually we managed to convince this young lady that Just_A_Girl was simply a neighbor talking to her boyfriend; whereupon the door opened a bit wider and a young man sheepishly exited the apartment and beat a hasty retreat.
  3. Haha
    dprh reacted to mordorbund in Rich Young Man   
    Gotta admit. I'm struggling to see the Friends of Scouting and Boy Scouts connection here.
  4. Like
    dprh reacted to Fether in Rich Young Man   
    Elder S Mark Palmer in his April 2017 GC talk said “We don’t know what happened to the rich young man after he went away sorrowful, but I am confident Jesus still loved him perfectly even if he chose the easier path. Perhaps later in life, as he found his great possessions hollow, he remembered and acted on the singular experience of His Lord beholding him, loving him, and inviting him to follow Him.”
    I would invite you to read his talk, it’s fantastic.
    https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2017/04/then-jesus-beholding-him-loved-him?lang=eng&country=b
  5. Like
    dprh reacted to Vort in Please Don’t Ask Me When I’m Having Kids   
    That's what I say. Why can't people just be reasonable, like I am?
     
  6. Like
    dprh reacted to Vort in Please Don’t Ask Me When I’m Having Kids   
    Back when we were in our active baby-making days, my wife would get seriously irritated at casual Church friends and acquaintances asking us about our reproductive plans. Given this, I have a hard time skewering the author; my wife might have written a similar article. But I no longer agree with the mindset. I think we should actively seek to build such societal intimacy, even at the cost of having to come outside our comfort zone. That doesn't mean that our private lives become an open book or that we must actually answer such intrusive questions, only that we react gracefully to such intrusions, seeing them as a perhaps ham-fisted attempt at building friendship and emotional unity.
  7. Like
    dprh reacted to Vort in Unleash Your Inner Hero -- to overcome porn   
    You know, I wonder how much our modern isolationist culture perpetuates all sorts of unhealthy practices, of which secret pornography consumption is just one example. I'm a middle-aged man, and I can count on the fingers of one hand how many really close male friends (not family) I have had over my adult life. And I would not use up all my fingers.
    My best friend is without any doubt my wife; but as @anatess2 would likely say, that's not necessarily a good thing. If I had a problem with pornography consumption, would I talk about it with my wife? I can't say for sure, but...well, yes, I can say for pretty darn sure. I cannot imagine discussing such a thing with my wife. Confessing? Possibly. Discussing? Asking for help? Seeking guidance and strength? Nope nope nope nope nope. Not on your life. It would never happen.
    My wife loves me better than anyone else in this world loves me, maybe including my own mother, but I seriously doubt she would even have the capability to offer me whatever support I would need in that situation. "Hey, honey, I've got a problem looking at pictures of naked women who aren't you. Can you give me a hand with that? Maybe offer some moral support and be a listening ear for me?" I mean, I almost laugh at the thought.
    But it's much wider than pornography (not to minimize that curse on the human population). My Muslim friend whom I have mentioned many times used to tell me about his intimate friendships with certain other men and how valuable they were to him. Men, how much richer and deeper would our lives be if we had a half-dozen such intimate male friends, or three, or two, or even one? The Bible talks about this aspect of intimate male friendship and love, yet it's so totally unknown to our culture that many who read the Bible actually think it's talking about homosexuality. I have heard many people say that David and Jonathan were "lovers". These people have no clue, and I think most of us don't, either.
  8. Like
    dprh got a reaction from Midwest LDS in Unleash Your Inner Hero -- to overcome porn   
    This is probably just an issue with semantics, but to me, shame is something we should avoid.  It is not good.  Guilt, remorse, embarrassment, even fear are good.  I like Brene Brown's talk, here about it.  About  14 minutes is a quote that I really like
    Shame keeps people locked in isolation.  While it may be a decent preventative-type feeling, it is incredibly destructive.  It destroys self-worth and connection.  Shame is the adversary's counterfeit to guilt.
     
  9. Like
    dprh reacted to classylady in Questions about Sealing Cancellation & Clearance   
    Welcome!
    I understand where you are coming from. I married a divorced man who was still sealed to his ex-wife. That was over 30 years ago. At that time it was difficult for men to get a sealing cancellation from an ex-wife unless she was going to be sealed to a new husband. When my husband and I decided to be sealed, my husband requested a sealing cancellation from his ex, but the First Presidency said it wasn’t necessary in order for us to be sealed. I swallowed my pride, and chose to be sealed. I wanted the blessings of the sealing for me and my children. That was far more important than whether my husband “might” still have a priesthood stewardship with his ex that would extend into the eternities. Also, at that time, sealing clearances for men had not been instituted.
    A sealing clearance means just as it sounds. The man is “cleared” to be sealed to another woman. The sealing is not cancelled. A sealing cancellation though, means the sealing is cancelled. Any children that are either born in the covenant or are sealed to their parents will not lose the blessing of being sealed to righteousness parents. That remains intact even if the parents are no longer sealed to each other.
    Now, fast forward about 25 years. My husband talked to our bishop about having his sealing cancelled to his ex-wife. Our bishop was very understanding and in fact asked my husband why he hadn’t tried to have the sealing cancelled earlier. My husband told him,  he had, but, “I didn’t think it was possible.”  Our bishop told him it is much easier for men to request a sealing cancellation from their ex-wife, even if she has never remarried, or has married a nonmember. So, our bishop started the paper work for the sealing cancellation. After the Stake President approved the paper work and sent it into church headquarters, my husband had his answer back within three weeks and the sealing cancellation was approved. (Sigh! That was such a huge burden taken from his shoulders and mine.)
    The Bishop will ask the ex-wife to write a letter telling her point-of-view of the divorce. It is not a letter “giving permission.” My husband also needed to write a letter stating his point-of-view about the divorce. Any child support or maintenance payments will need to be current.
    (Edit: some ex-spouses refuse to write a letter stating their views of the divorce. They are given about three weeks to reply. If they don’t reply the process goes on without the letter. Some ex-spouses may be vitriolic in their letter. From what I understand, unless there is proof of unrepentant misconduct it won’t have much bearing on the outcome.)
    Our Father in Heaven understands our feelings. He will never force anyone to be together eternally if they don’t want to. Your future husband and his ex most likely have already broken the sealing covenant by their divorce. But, it is nice to know that the sealing can actually be cancelled. Some bishops and stake presidents may not know that men may be allowed to request a sealing cancellation. It isn’t very clearly written in the handbook unless it’s been clarified since my husband requested his sealing cancellation.
    Even though it is hard to understand polygamy, especially from a woman’s point of view, and our current culture, it obviously was ordained of God at different points in time to help raise up a righteous generation. My family goes back at least five generations within the church, and I wouldn’t be here if polygamy wasn’t practiced. I’m very grateful to my ancestors for their sacrifice and dedication.
    Good luck! I hope this helps.
  10. Like
    dprh reacted to mikbone in The purpose of life (Dunning-Kruger)   
    Today I received a wonderful gift from the internet.

    I loved the graph so much that I had to review the original document.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect
    https://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/viewdoc/download;jsessionid=50CB355D87CECF5348B7B5497FFB5DEC?doi=10.1.1.64.2655&rep=rep1&type=pdf
    Some of my favorite passages from the study.  And be aware that the study was performed at the Cornell University psychology department, on its own undergrad students (Ivy League, 1470 average SAT score of entering freshmen)...

     
     
    These concepts can obviously be applied to the Gospel...
    Perhaps one of the purposes of life is to displace Mt. Stupid from heaven to Earth.  
    The importance of humility can not be over stressed. 
    Pride is a sure sign of ignorance.
    Negative feedback is a good thing. It helps us recognize our ignorance and may allow us to learn.
     
  11. Like
    dprh reacted to NeuroTypical in New garment styles   
    https://www.lds.org/church/news/church-offers-new-stretch-cotton-garments-for-men
    👍
  12. Like
    dprh reacted to spamlds in Who is the Presiding Authority   
    This is a beautiful example of the extraordinary seamlessness of the priesthood. When a convert joins the Church, as was already mentioned, he moves into the jurisdiction of the key-holders in the stake/ward.
    I served my mission in an area that had no stakes or wards, just branches under the mission's jurisdiction. Our mission president presided over the missionaries AND the members in the mission. Interestingly, a mission president in a mission signs all three blanks on his own temple recommend. That's an interesting situation!
    Another interesting "transfer of power" I saw occurred when they moved a singles branch in our area from one stake to another. I was in a bishopric at the time and I received the call to be in the singles branch presidency with two other high priests. We were instructed to meet at a chapel in the other stake. The area authority president was there and both stake presidencies. The outgoing presidency from the branch was also there for the meeting. The area president presided. The stake president of the first stake released the branch presidency. The unit was then reassigned by the keys of the area authority to the second stake. The stake president of the receiving stake organized the unit and then called us to the presidency of the new branch.
    As soon as the "Amen" of the closing prayer was said, the new presidency swooped off the stand and pulled people into classrooms to interview and extend callings. The receiving stake presidency called an elders' quorum president, clerk, and executive secretary (which were stake callings). The branch president set apart the Relief Society and Sunday School presidents. We counselors took care of setting apart counselors, teachers, and various committee members.
    It was an education on how to set up a church unit from scratch in a day!
  13. Like
    dprh reacted to MarginOfError in Who is the Presiding Authority   
    My understanding is that missions (including missionaries and mission presidents) are extensions of the Quorums of the Seventy. Stakes, however, are extensions of the Quorum of the Twelve.
    In areas where there are is no stake, the mission president presides. However, that presiding authority is removed when a stake is formed and a stake president is established.
    What's more, a bishop can do a great deal to prevent a baptism from taking place if he so chooses. He can't disallow the baptism altogether, but he can refuse to allow any member of the ward to conduct the baptism; he can refuse to allow the missionaries to use the building; and he can refuse to authorize any member to perform the confirmation (including the missionaries).
  14. Like
    dprh reacted to Just_A_Guy in Hey. I was talking to 2 LDS people at my college and they didn't believe that they are sinners. Do you believe you're a sinner?   
    Having known lots of Protestants and Mormons, and watching the way they tend to live their lives I am sorely tempted to observe:
    Protestants call themselves sinners—but most of them don’t believe it.
    Mormons call themselves saints—but most of them don’t believe it.  
     
  15. Like
    dprh reacted to wenglund in The Parable of the Prodigal Son   
    Very profound.  I am so glad you reminded me of this life-changing message.
    My discovery, however, is related, but somewhat different. It goes to the core cause both for why people are enticed to seek riotous living or jealousy and coveting..
    To me, the driving force behind each is a substantial lack of appreciation and gratitude for what we have.  The younger brother came to understand this, in part, after reaching the depths of despair, and was thereby caused to yearn for even just a portion of what he once had. 
    The elder brother had yet to gain this insight, and was thus moved to jealousy, believing, as Elder Holland suggests, that what he had wasn't enough.
    Sometimes, like fish in water, we fail to fully appreciate and value the living water of the Gospel. It is so commonplace that we take it for granted, that is, until we are taken out of the water and it is lost to us in ways of despair unto repentance.
    My goal is to try my best now to see the incomparable value of the gospel without having to experience despair, and thus be moved like the father to fall on the neck, weeping with joy at the return of sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, to the gospel of Christ.
    Thanks, -Wade Englund-
  16. Like
    dprh reacted to LePeel in Unleash Your Inner Hero -- to overcome porn   
    For me, porn was like a black hole, and I was stuck. What Christ did was pull me out, restoring my ability to choose. But porn is still a black hole. If I get near it, chances are I'll get pulled in. But at least now I have a choice to stay away from it. What didn't help me was that the church essentially taught me to be scared of it or by making me feel shame. I felt shame because they told all these stories about hurt wives and children, and if I watched porn, it meant I didn't care about that and was a bad person. Porn, in reality, is a small thing. The God of creation comprehends all things, and He counsels man about all his choices. Rather than fear porn, one of many choices available to man, we should accept that God has cleared us of the law and we are free to make mistakes and to learn without shame and without giving undue power to the devil through fear.
  17. Like
    dprh reacted to unixknight in So um... I have an announcement.   
    Mission Accomplished.

  18. Like
    dprh reacted to Just_A_Guy in You no longer have to wait a year between civil marriage and temple marriage in the US   
    I agree; but I think a distinction may apply for those who sincerely don’t know that the ordinance is a counterfeit of something higher.  If you know, from (incomplete) scripture or the Spirit, that baptism or marriage or blessing/christening or anointing of the sick is righteous and desirable; but you sincerely don’t know that the authority to do those things is not held by the people you’ve entrusted to do it—I think the Lord values and to some extent honors those good-faith efforts to comply.  But His smiling at a persons’s baptism into a Protestant sect, is different than the full cleansing and endowment of Spirit that comes with baptism and confirmation in the New and Everlasting Covenant.  His telling a newlywed couple “well, at least you aren’t fornicating, and good luck to you, and I’ll help you along as much as you’ll let Me” is very different than promising them thrones, kingdoms, powers, principalities, and eternal increase.  And so on . . . 
    Obviously, I don’t think this principle has much application to folks who have grown up in the Gospel.  
  19. Like
    dprh got a reaction from SilentOne in You no longer have to wait a year between civil marriage and temple marriage in the US   
    Most Christians I've talked to about it look at baptism as "an outward expression of an inward commitment."  I think that is the most common view of baptism, and I believe that God appreciates that declaration from anyone who is sincere.
  20. Like
    dprh got a reaction from Just_A_Guy in You no longer have to wait a year between civil marriage and temple marriage in the US   
    Most Christians I've talked to about it look at baptism as "an outward expression of an inward commitment."  I think that is the most common view of baptism, and I believe that God appreciates that declaration from anyone who is sincere.
  21. Like
    dprh reacted to Manners Matter in Ministering   
    My experience - Those I'm assigned to haven't changed and I'm still doing what I did before (letters to inactives). But as far as who ministers to me, I think the current person (changed in Feb) is at a loss of what to do. She did introduce herself to me (she's fairly new to the ward) and we had a bit of a conversation. She also asked what I needed but beyond prayers, I didn't know what to suggest and still don't. We don't cross paths at church but she did send a quick email recently.
    Some suggestions - 
    invite them over for game night (a good way to get to know people but in a more casual way) email/fb a funny joke/short story/meme (everyone appreciates/needs a little laugh) email/fb a link to an inspiring song/article  recommend a good book/movie/restaurant offer to watch the kids so mom & dad can go out support them in their callings! let them know you're praying for them offer to help them get their food storage/emergency supplies in order  find out their birthdays and send them cards (old-fashioned mail is a nice surprise) take them a favorite treat/something from your garden if you know they'll be out of town, offer to check on the house/keep the lawn mowed, etc let them know what yard tools you have that they could borrow when needed offer to share your talents/knowledge (help Joey with his trigonometry, etc) Basically, do a variety of things unless/until you know what their love language is (gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, touch, service) and what floats their boat.
  22. Like
    dprh got a reaction from mirkwood in Ministering   
    I think the most important thing about ministering is that the family knows they can call you when they need to.  If you keep reaching out, they should get that message.  Phone calls are more personal than texts or emails and will help develop the relationship better. When you are in a conversation with them, at church, on the phone, at the store, ask open-ended, but specific, questions.  Instead of 'how are you doing? Do you need anything?' you could ask about one of the kids.  "Is John doing all right in school?"  or "What is Sally interested in these days?"  
    Good luck!  It's great to hear about people who are trying to minister.  
  23. Like
    dprh got a reaction from Just_A_Guy in You no longer have to wait a year between civil marriage and temple marriage in the US   
    I do think all baptisms are ordained of God.  While they aren't all done with Priesthood authority and won't work as a gate into the Celestial Kingdom, I do think that when a person makes that commitment to be baptized, God is pleased. 
    Of course, as I write that I think of infant baptisms. Moroni 8 is pretty clear about how the Lord feels about that.  So maybe I should adjust my 'all' like @classylady.  Anyone who chooses for themselves to be baptized and make that commitment to dedicate their lives to God, pleases Him.
  24. Like
    dprh reacted to classylady in You no longer have to wait a year between civil marriage and temple marriage in the US   
    As I’ve been reading all the posts I am reminded of the wording in The Proclamation on the Family: “We the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve...solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God...”. Note, that the wording does not say that only eternal sealings are ordained of God, but that marriage is ordained of God. I take that to mean all civil marriages between a man and woman are ordained of God, which means they have merit. Most societies/cultures have some form of marriage. I believe it is a fundamental institution that comes from God. Perhaps it is wired into our DNA? I don’t know the answer to that, but it is interesting to me that marriage is a recognized institution across almost all cultures. I believe that our Father in Heaven has planned it this way.
  25. Like
    dprh reacted to Vort in You no longer have to wait a year between civil marriage and temple marriage in the US   
    I believe it's even simpler than this. A marriage is a contractual social arrangement, a bond well within the power of mortal men to grant. God happens to recognize most heterosexual marriages, because after all they are patterned on the true eternal idea of marriage. It's a natural fit. A temple sealing is a different matter, in that it is eternal in nature. Mortal men do not have the power (indeed, do not even pretend to have the power) to contract a marriage beyond death. All mortal bonds and covenants are by definition dissolved at death. This is exactly why Pilate recognized that Jesus' kingship presented no legal challenge to Caesar, because his kingdom was not of this world. It was eternal.
    tl;dr: God recognizes moral marriage as valid in a familial and sexual context insofar as it is a natural outgrowth of the eternal principle of marriage. Sealing is eternal, not mortal, and thus is another matter.