without_you

if you're kid is inactive. When he signs up for BYU, he's going to have to accept the policy and honor code of byu.
 
Honor Code Statement
We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men....If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things. (Thirteenth Article of Faith.)
As a matter of personal commitment, the faculty, administration, staff, and students of Brigham Young University, Brigham Young University-Hawaii, BYU-I, and LDS Business College seek to demonstrate in daily living on and off-campus those moral virtues encompassed in the gospel of Jesus Christ, and will:
Be honest Live a chaste and virtuous life Obey the law and all campus policies Use clean language Respect others Abstain from alcoholic beverages, tobacco, tea, coffee, and substance abuse Participate regularly in church services Observe Dress and Grooming Standards Encourage others in their commitment to comply with the Honor Code Specific policies embodied in the Honor Code include (1) the Academic Honesty Policy, (2) the Dress and Grooming Standards, (3) the Residential Living Standards, and (4) the Continuing Student Ecclesiastical Endorsement Requirement. (Refer to institutional policies for more detailed information.)
https://policy.byu.edu/view/index.php?p=26
 
IF he's inactive, are you sure he can live by those codes if he goes to BYU? If not, but he still goes there...well I'm not to judge but...he has to follow those rules or he will get kicked out!
I'm a BYUI graduate.

I know it's a commandment to "Honor your father and mother", basically parents. 
It's just really hard to honor them when they have been missing all my life. It's like they are there but not really there. My father, who was very abusive to me in the past, also threatened our family to leave us to divorce(but never did), who beat up my siblings and me and also was emotionally abusive to us. Everything has calmed down now but time to time, he has his own tantrums. My mom is basically missing on my life. I never had a meaningful conversation with her all my life. It's like we are there but we are so far apart. It hurts so much to know that they just exist and we don't really know each other. I am about to be independent now and moving out, but I feel like this has put a lot of burden in me. I've always wanted a family but they are just not there. We don't talk, we work, come home, do our thing, and when we do talk, we argue....

I know it's a commandment to "Honor your father and mother", basically parents. 
It's just really hard to honor them when they have been missing all my life. It's like they are there but not really there. My father, who was very abusive to me in the past, also threatened our family to leave us to divorce(but never did), who beat up my siblings and me and also was emotionally abusive to us. Everything has calmed down now but time to time, he has his own tantrums. My mom is basically missing on my life. I never had a meaningful conversation with her all my life. It's like we are there but we are so far apart. It hurts so much to know that they just exist and we don't really know each other. I am about to be independent now and moving out, but I feel like this has put a lot of burden in me. I've always wanted a family but they are just not there. We don't talk, we work, come home, do our thing, and when we do talk, we argue....

College is not worth it nowadays anyway. Send him to a Trade school instead. WELL WORTH IT!

We need more entry-level jobs in the market.

Husband got his bachelor's in a science field. Failed to find related job.
Husband fell into the security guard business.
Husband makes more than me. Yes, I'm a teacher, but we don't make too awful a salary.

if you're kid is inactive. When he signs up for BYU, he's going to have to accept the policy and honor code of byu.
 
Honor Code Statement
We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men....If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things. (Thirteenth Article of Faith.)
As a matter of personal commitment, the faculty, administration, staff, and students of Brigham Young University, Brigham Young University-Hawaii, BYU-I, and LDS Business College seek to demonstrate in daily living on and off-campus those moral virtues encompassed in the gospel of Jesus Christ, and will:
Be honest Live a chaste and virtuous life Obey the law and all campus policies Use clean language Respect others Abstain from alcoholic beverages, tobacco, tea, coffee, and substance abuse Participate regularly in church services Observe Dress and Grooming Standards Encourage others in their commitment to comply with the Honor Code Specific policies embodied in the Honor Code include (1) the Academic Honesty Policy, (2) the Dress and Grooming Standards, (3) the Residential Living Standards, and (4) the Continuing Student Ecclesiastical Endorsement Requirement. (Refer to institutional policies for more detailed information.)
https://policy.byu.edu/view/index.php?p=26
 
IF he's inactive, are you sure he can live by those codes if he goes to BYU? If not, but he still goes there...well I'm not to judge but...he has to follow those rules or he will get kicked out!
I'm a BYUI graduate.

@without_you
For someone like me who doesn’t really feel much emotion when the spirit comes, It’s hard sometimes to recognize the difference between the feelings I get while listening to the chorus of “hearts burst into flames” by Bullet for my Valentine and the feeling I get when i listen to “I can only imagine”.
So if you are one of those people that never cries when the spirit comes or doesn’t naturally “feel the spirit” when singing hymns in church. I wouldn’t rely on emotions to dictate when the spirit is there.
If I did that, I would be blasting Green Day, All That Remains and Avenged Sevenfold every Sunday. 

Totally!  The Spirit testifies of Truth, it doesn't matter if the person singing it is XYZ faith-- if it's Truth the Spirit will testify.  
I have an entire arsenal of Christian songs from all sorts of genres for all sorts of moods.

try this: 
 
there's a button for subtitles on the bottom right
 
Enjoy!

Just wanted to make you all aware of a new movie coming out. Here is the blurb I got from Excel Entertainment:
Ephraim's Rescue, new movie from the makers of 17 Miracles!
If you liked 17 Miracles, then you're going to love Ephraim's Rescue the all-new pioneer movie hitting theaters on May 31.
Ephraim's Rescue tells the unbelievable true story of Ephraim Hanks, the mountain-man pioneer sent to rescue the Willie and Martin Handcart Companies.
The film opens in theaters across the Western United States on May 31. For a theater near you, stay updated on the facebook page.
Watch a full trailer here

Big fan of "I Can Only Imagine."  It always puts me in a more spiritual place. 

@without_you Since you've already gotten the Church's stance, I'll address some of the other points you brought up. 
~ As long as she believes she'll never get married/guys don't like her/etc - she'll be right. She needs to look up some positive affirmations to help change her thinking.
~ She needs to trust the Lord's timing. 
~ I know someone who didn't get married till she was 36/38 and started the adoption process thinking that was her best option. She got pregnant and she and hubby are raising 2 girls that are 10 months apart.
~ Have her check her library for "The Wisdom of Your Face" by Jean Haner. (Hint: jowels are known as money bags, thick eyebrows = confidence). Also have her look into Dressing Your Truth (Carol Tuttle - lots of resources for clothes, makeup, hair, accessories, etc). Even if it's just a confidence-booster, that may be just what she needs.
It's nice of you to want to help her and I hope the above will.

https://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/respect-for-diversity-of-faiths
 
It's a great article!

I understood the quotes from the Church in the article to mean that we are to respect other people of different faiths.
To me, this differs somewhat from the title of the thread and even more so the title of the article. because it puts the emphasis on people rather than on diversity, itself, or other faiths.
This may seem like a trite distinction, but I think it important in a world confusedly abd distructively obsessed with the notion of diversity and  group identity.
Other than that, the article has an uplifting message.
Thanks, -Wade Englund-

In addition having a child is hard. My wife and I have struggled from lack of sleep, depression, loss of certain social activities, high costs for child care etc. I don't say this to discourage others from having children, my daughter means the world to me, but trying to do all these things by myself without my wife would be 10 times harder. I'm not saying it's impossible, many good brothers and sisters find the strength they need to rise to the occasion, but why would you purposely make yourself a single parent? And just to satisfy a whim at that? I feel for her, a lot actually, I know what it's like to want a child and not be able to have one (infertility for years) but she needs to stay within the bounds the Lord has set.

Her problem is not finding a husband.  Her problem is she thinks God is so cruel as to "curse her appearance".  Plus the problem that she thinks marriage is built on a foundation of APPEARANCES.
How you help her is for her to learn some more about what Love means in God's kingdom.

She can either trust God and his promises... Or she can trust herself.
Plenty of people in this life do not get the blessings that other people might get... It all depends on highly individual circumstances.  While desiring the blessings and working for it is very very good...  Crossing the line into disobedience and sin to try to get it... is well...   crossing the line

"Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity." --from The Family: A Proclamation to the World

Have you ever prayed and asked God to teach you how to recognize the spirit in your own life?

Hello everyone, i decided to join this forum because i feel like i definetely need to talk about this with someone. 
First of all, please do not judge me. I'm here in order to seek help and advice.
I'm 21, i'm latina. one  day two months ago i was walking in the streets of my neighborhood and there were two missionarys, my life right now is so negativa, i dont have a job, I'm not studying, my parents are separated, i feel lonely without not motivation. So i decided to awkardly say hi...  they looked very kind.  I told them i wanted to know more about the church and stuff and... There was this american Elder...the first thing i tought was, he looked so handsome and nice. They invited to the church one coming Sunday. I accepted. To be honest i couldnt think about nothing but him since that day. When i came to the church i felt so good... People were so welcome with me. Some of them were surpissed in a good plan that i decided to go to the church by my own with any member of my family. To continúe, the elders invited me to come to familys home in order to teach me more about the gospel. I have to say that i have been feeling so happy being with positive people around... It feels like I'm part of a family... But at the same time, my feelings for this guy were increasing more and more so that, i would get so so nervous everytime i see/talk to him. I got baptized by him, it was beautiful. Now, in the last meeting we had with a family, i couldnt help myself feeling a very strong atraction to him that even distracted me a lot in order to listen to the gospel. Its somehow noticiable that i feel somethimg for him .. And thats so embarrasing! When it was time to say goodbye, we all always say goodbye with a handshake, so i took the chance in that two seconds of  brush my hand against his hand slowly... And it felt like he also was preparing to do the same. I dont know how to explain. I love when he is the only one who rings my phone in order to schdule a meeting to listen to the gospel... The other Elder barely calles me.  He will leave the ward in 6 weeks! I need to find some say to ask for any contact. I want to hug him i feel like i really enjoy be with him... I just cant help myself with this. I'm totally aware they are not allowed to be in a realtionship. I feel so in love right now.. The only thing i want to know is if he kinda feel the same for me...I want this storie carry on. Please what do you think??? 
Thanks in advanced to take the time reading me.
 

Are you in a YSA Ward? Do you go to church sponsored activities?  Are you Temple worthy? If you don't already have a recommend, then go get one just to go do baptisms & confirmations with. Read your scriptures, read the Come Follow Me for Individuals & Families AND the Sunday School one. Ponder the lessons and the accompanying scriptures. Then when you are in class, don't hesitate to participate.
As a teen, I never felt pretty or even good looking. I was the 4th of 7 children, the 3rd girl out of 5. None of my older siblings dated. We were too busy helping Mom & Grandma with the housework, cooking, and tending to the younger (still in diapers) siblings. We were, however, encouraged to Go Outside And Play - just take the little ones with you and keep them out of trouble/danger. 
My oldest brother was 16 when he was introduced to the LDS Church. I was 8. What brother did, I demanded to do. Thus I went to church, to all of the activities and I went to all the dances. Absolutely loved the practice at church on Wednesday nights. My parents were not members. But the way they lived their lives, the moral compass they taught all of their children was exactly the same as the LDS doctrine. We danced at home. Moved all the furniture to the sides of the room, and waltzed, polka and then as a Junior in High School I taught them how to swing. The rock-n-roll dances were not allowed - but I (we) did them outside in the street. I also went to the "Gold and Green' Balls at church from the time I was 14 until I moved away at age18.
At school, the guys that I most preferred were the Not Knock You Over Handsome. I was a senior when I went on my first date. The guy was a classmate, of the Muslim faith. His father was my hairstylist and his Mom taught me how to prepare meals with no bowls and very few utensils. We went to dinner then the movies. Saw The Godfather. We read the book before. My parents were not pleased that I saw the movie, but then Mom read the book and decided I was old enough to see the movie.
At church, I danced with all the guys. I really enjoyed myself, and I had some really good, adult conversations with most of them. The Pretty Boys not so much. Their heads were so far up their arses they couldn't carry even the simplest conversation. Add to that I lived in the poor part of town, and I wasn't even Middle Class. I was Lower Middle Class. ALL of my clothes were re-sewn hand me downs. Clothes Mom got from the neighbors and her new Sis-In-Law (upper crust clothes of the finest materials). The neighbor lady was close to 400 pounds so her skirts and dresses could be re-made into a skirt and bolero for me and sometimes a skirt and trousers for the two little ones. Mom was an excellent seamstress, so unless I exposed the inside back of the tops or the inside seam where labels would be, there is no way anyone would know my clothes were actually homemade. 
My sewing home economics teacher in high school was flabbergasted at the skill my Mom had. 
So, no matter what you look like, it is How you act, how you treat others.
Stop being so needy. If you are in your mid to late 60's and still single, then you have cause to be needy, but even then don't It is such a turn-off. Actually, it is disgusting.
Live your life like you want your wife to live. Be the person you want your wife to be.
My second husband (we married 15 years ago! I was 52 and he was 62) tells me often how pretty I am, he bolsters me up and encourages me to be me. When he saw pictures of me as a teen - in my ball gowns, graduation outfit, even some of the Halloween costumes I made for church events - he told me that had he known me as a 20 something, he would have beaten down doors to court me and eventually take me to the Temple. Hubby #2 is not Knock You Down Gorgeous/Handsome.  BUT his good moral compass, standards, gentlemanly good manners, and being a righteous priesthood holder MAKES him Knock You Down Handsome. Every time I see him looking at me, my heart skips a beat and I find myself catching my breath. LordyMoses I love him so. He is a keeper. He better be as we are sealed for time and all eternity!
Be a good, righteous priesthood holder. Live a temple worthy life. Stop being so needy and self-deprecating. Look for a woman with these same attributes: Good, righteous LDS woman. Lives a temple worthy life. One who is humble yet confident in her own skin. One who knows she is a righteous daughter of God!
Remember, remember You are a child of God!
 

It sound to me as if you are too needy.  You are too desperate.  Unfortunately this is a turn off for many people.
Of course, if you could find someone who is just as needy as you are, it might work out. 
In this you probably would need to look at those who may not be the most attractive girl out there, or she may not be the girl that is the cutest one you know.  Instead, you'd probably have to start looking at if the girl has a great attitude, or is a nice person before you consider their looks or attractiveness.  You start to look at the girl for who she is first, rather then the exterior appearance.
My thought is that you should stop worrying about it as strongly as you are.  Instead, focus on being a complete and whole person first.  To me, it sounds as if you suffer from depression or depressive moods.  Because you suffer from this it could be that you feel that finding someone will solve this (and this may be unconscious or in your subconscious even rather than a conscious thought).  You are in love with the idea of being in love.  You feel that if you just could have this issue you can have so much resolved in your life and things would become so much greater.
In truth, it solves nothing.  If you are NOT already happy with yourself, you will NOT be happy with someone else.  You will have a brief period of Euphoria and then you will be just as unhappy as before, except now you will be making someone else unhappy as well.  Instead, focus on being happy with your life and what you have currently.  This does not mean you should stop going to Young Single Adult dances or activities.  You should continue to do so and continue to ask girls out on dates.  You should not obsess about it.
Resolve to do something great with your life or pick up an awesome hobby.  Find something that can make you content with your life.
I am probably an introvert to a degree.  I LOVE books. I LOVE history.  I focused on that.  I was blessed to find the most beautiful girl and get married to her.  Not all are that blessed.  Even when I am not around her I still have things that I enjoy.  I still love history and I love working in history.  When I travel for research, I LOVE doing that.  That does not mean I love her any less, or that I do not miss her, but that I am happy with what I am doing and my life.  If she were gone tomorrow (I expect I will die first, so only hypothetical) I do not think I would have difficulties as I would still have my library of books to read and a LOT of history to still explore.
You need to be a complete person and be satisfied with  yourself.  You still need to strive for marriage, but don't make it such an obsession that it makes you depressed or unhappy.  Do the things necessary to try to find a spouse, but also focus on the good things in life.  Be happy with yourself so that you can make someone else happy, rather than expecting someone else to be the one to make you happy.
I'm sorry that you are feeling so down, unfortunately, the only one that can bring you up at this point is probably you.

@without_you - First, welcome! I'm sorry you're struggling. I haven't read all the responses but what comes to my mind is 'what you feed, grows' so I suggest focusing on your strengths and what you do have/did get. Focus on the positives and choose to be optimistic and trust that things happen when they're supposed to (even if we don't see/understand it). Wishing you all the best!