Shiva

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  1. Ok so after skimming the posts I still believe my case hasn't been discussed here. I'm dating a guy since 6 months ago and I remember that in the first month he wanted to start having sex and I refused so he stopped and didn't force me for having sex that night and after till now. I knew that he has had 5-6 (at least) long relationships with sex before me (I'm virgin). At the first place, I thought he is ashamed of his past and appreciates that I'm virgin, I thought he counts this virginity as something very valuable. Also, I told him not to talk about any other girl wither in front of me or behind my back. I told him that I'm sensitive and fragile and cannot stand hearing him talk about other girls. I even mentioned that I have broken up with my ex after 2 years because of him saying (in front of my friends) that before me he wanted to pursue another girl at our college. I tried my best to give him a heads up not to mess up on this. However, things changed and now I want to talk about some stories which is really painful to me. One day we went out with my closest friend (a girl) and my BF was a little drunk. We were discussing a friend (a boy) whose GF had cheated on him enticed by another boy. My BF started blaming the guy ans said he is courage-less and not the type of person being able to protect her GF and her relationship. This is the interesting part of the story. Followed by blaming that guy, my BF said that one week or one month after breaking up with his(my BF's) ex, my BF has slapped the guy who had taken her ex to home and given her drug to have sex with her. He said that he has put the guy on the ground and severely bit him why he had sex with his ex after giving her drug. He said I still had feeling for my ex and that guy should not have started taking my ex home that early or even later specially with giving drug. He was supper proud of what he has done and acclaiming himself as a brave boy who has done this to protect his ex even after their break up. That story really broke my heart. He broke me in front of my closest friend. I still remember my closest friend's looking at me with sympathy. I wanted to die. My best friend said that but this is not the right thing to do and you should have not done this, and my BF just partially accepted that. I still remember the feeling and implicit love he expressed for his ex. Several times after with had just little talks about me being virgin and I remember one he counted me as inexperienced and once as a close-minded girl who counts before marriage sex as a taboo. (Now that I complain on these he says that he has been kidding and joking, but there is some seriousness in every kidding and I cannot be silly!) One day I asked him to show me his photos on Facebook, he hesitated but then showed me the pics. There were a lot of locked (only me) pics of him with his ex (same girl in the drug story). He was hesitating to show me the pics and was saying that he does not like to look at the pics of his ex and he does not give a f[lip] about her anymore! I saw a lot of pics of him and his ex and the pics are still on the Facebook wall of his ex. During the past six months, we had several arguments and 4 times it has happened that he has compared our current relationship with his relationship with his ex and has said good things about his ex and past relationship. After six month of relationship and keeping quite on all these, 4 days ago I started crying and realized how broken I am. I just cannot stop crying these days, with a sting in my heart and a lot of pain, no one would imagine how broken I am .. I'm in a trip far far from him. I first wanted to keep silent for 3 weeks till I go back and start discussing my pain with him but I couldn't, I'm so sad and broken. I texted him about it and blamed him for all he has done (I told him that I told you do not [mess] up on this and never talk about other girls). His answer was that I should have not texted him till I go back and I had to talk in person. He also apologized for that night when he broke me in front of my closest friend and said he would not do that for me becasue now his mindset is different, he said I will protect you but not like that (!). He also said that the inexperienced and close-minded he has said were a joke and he likes me and appreciates my virginity. But he has never said that he has repented and that now he believes before marriage sex is a sin. Then how he claims that he likes my virginity and appreciates my abstain? (Conflict) I complained and said that this is unfair that he has had sex several times in the past with 5-6 girls and I'm virgin. I said in my life many things would be new (sex, going to trip with him, introducing him to my family, etc.) but there is nothing new for me in his life and he said I have given you my soul and heart which I had not given to girls before you (Do you really thing it is true?) I also complained that why his pics with his ex are still on his ex's wall and why he has not deleted the pics? He got sort of angry and said that it is not important to him and he can send a text message to his ex to delete the pics if I want. I'm so upset and every time we talk I just want to cry over the phone. He says that he cares about me and wants me to move on on this and I'm the only girl in his heart right now. I told him that I cannot accept his excuses (not compelling) and I do not feel that he is telling me the truth. These days he keeps saying that this is my problem not his and I should not give him a hard time but should go and talk to a counsellor. He has never said that now he believes before marriage sex is a sin or that he is ashamed of his past and want or has repented (remember he wanted to have sex with five months ago and I refused and now he says I should thank him not asking for sex). He says he cares and understands that I'm upset but this is my problem not liking his past. He says that I do not ask you to have sex with me and it should mean a lot to you but my past is nothing to do with you and it's your problem not liking that and he repeats over and over with same meaning and different words. I kept complaining that it is not fair that he has experienced sex with several people at least 200-300 times and he just hesitates to mention anything about fairness. He says this is the American culture and that ex's where his past loves whom they don't like anymore and now he only loves me and if this is not enough for me then it is my problem. You say that we should forgive till the Lord forgive us but do you really think that I should forgive somebody acting arrogant and even implicitly proud of his past sexes? I want you to be the judge and help me on this. What should I do? Pleaseee help me. I'm so sad and broken ...