Phoenix7093

Members
  • Content Count

    9
  • Joined

  • Last visited

About Phoenix7093

  • Rank
    Newbie

Recent Profile Visitors

97 profile views
  1. As someone who has been investigating the church for just over a year and a half, I've found it very hard to find out anything outside of Doctrine and Scripture about what it's truly like to become a member, not so much the being a member after baptism etc. I'm lucky enough to have a friend who is a life long member and has answered every question I've had. Ive found it really difficult to connect with all the missionaries as it's a very foreign concept to me to be "put with" people I don't know but who are assigned to be my friends. I also have difficulty because even though I'm a girl, I've never had many girl friends, I've always got along better with boys and find it really hard to connect with the sisters or any girls in general, so much so that I felt anxious every time I saw them in a Church and had an anxious breakdown when I had a lesson alone with them as it felt like I was cornered and being pushed towards baptism that I definitely wasn't ready for, I was holding back tears the entire meeting. It really made me feel like I didn't want to go any further and felt it pushed my confidence down. If I hadn't had my friend, I would never have gone back. I know for certain that if I'd been on my own and looking in to joining the Church, I wouldn't have even got as far as the front door if I'd been left to be led there and guided by missionaries. I'm always amazed how people have gone on the journey this route as its so alien to me. It would be really useful to have some resources from new converts or current investigators as to how they are coping with everything. My biggest hang up is baptism, I just don't know how I'm ever going to reach it. I'm absolutely terrified at the thought of the ceremony, having people look at me, being a focus, it fills me with dread but I so want the gift of the Holy Spirit I would gain from it
  2. Phoenix7093

    Terrified of baptism

    I've been reading the book of Mormon for about a year and a half now and I feel like I've hit a brick wall. I have had input from many missionaries (have met only 2 but really felt more intimidated by them than anything and felt it pushed me back a step) but my main sticking point is baptism. The thing I want most in the world is to be baptised and receive the gift of the Holy ghost but I am absolutely filled with fear about the baptism ceremony itself. I have no fears of the commitment, the change in my life or anything else that comes with it. I cannot get over my fear of the ceremony. Not because I'm scared of water or anything as rational as that.... I'm scared to be in front of anyone, scared that I will look stupid, scared that they won't be able to manage to dip me under the water, that I'll fall over, so many irrational feelings but I can't overcome them. I can't make my faith bigger than my fear. I'm scared for the way I'll look, I'm scared of the Church part on Sunday that follows as that will be in front of everybody. I feel I've failed before I've even received the gift. ☚ī¸ The worst part is, I know everything I feel is irrational and is easy to overcome but I can't do it. My anxiety is crazy even just at the thought. I want to do it so badly but I feel ill never make it.
  3. Phoenix7093

    Joining the Church

    Thank you again for all the feedback given, it really solidifies for me what a wonderful community this is that I am hoping to join 🙂 and helps me feel really welcome I think that's the one big worry for me, is acceptance after being "the new person" I'm in England
  4. Phoenix7093

    Joining the Church

    I think that's the one big worry for me, is acceptance after being "the new person" I'm in England
  5. Phoenix7093

    Joining the Church

    I genuinely believe that my friend who is a member was sent to me for a purpose by someone. He is definitely of a higher regard in my eyes
  6. Phoenix7093

    Joining the Church

    I have felt welcomed, definitely but always worry that I might offend with something I do or say because I'm not from a religious background in any way so lots of things are a little foreign to me!
  7. Phoenix7093

    Joining the Church

    Thank you so much for the pointers and links. I'll definitely look in to these. I was first introduced (or maybe exposed to is the right phrase) to the Church by my friend, who I think very much falls into your "There are members of the Church who are very knowledgeable, spiritual, and are a good example of what it means to be a disciple of Jesus Christ" category. He only told me about things when I asked, and I instigated everything, so I was not pressured at all (unless that was indeed his elaborate plan!) I am loving learning everything but need to do it all slowly, I just hope its not too slowly! I think I will get to the point where I can approach the community more than just online, I'm just not someone who is comfortable in new situations with new people (so kinda throwing myself in at the deep end here)
  8. Phoenix7093

    Joining the Church

    Thank you for your responses. It's quite a scary feeling to try stepping into a world I don't really know alot about and like most social situations, assuming there will be some kind of resentment, or isolation by being "the new person" but its encouraging hearing honest opinions that aren't actually that daunting!
  9. Phoenix7093

    Joining the Church

    I have been looking into joining the Church for around 6 months. What is some advice you could give me what to do next. I have started reading the book of Mormon, have spoken to missionaries online (I've not felt ready to meet in person), and have been to Church once with a friend who is a member. I don't like to rush into things and would like to know what people think are the best aspects of being in the Church and also what are some thing to consider (good and bad) before taking the step